The Sin of Phubbing
Aimekim Eben-Ezer
The Sin of Phubbing
The world today enters in a digital age where technology plays more and more an integral part of our daily life as smartphones and social media render communication and information sharing faster and more accessible to everybody overcoming human physical hurdle. One can be in touch with a remote or virtual friend while cooking in his/her kitchen, while being in his/her bedroom, in school, church, in car, in restaurant, business meeting, etc.
Unfortunately, in most cases the remote or virtual friend may be acting as an intruder to undermine one’s relation with those who are closer or physically present to him/her. This phenomenon is technically called “phubbing”. It is becoming inimical to family cohesion, married couple intimacy, school or business performance, and even to church service order or prayer time quietude. As you may notice now something that was invented to facilitate communication (and that is inherently good) is now producing nefarious effects to our relationship with our closest neighbors, friends, or brothers/sisters. In the United States of America a lot of states are enacting laws prohibiting the use of smartphones for texting or holding it while driving to avoid fatal car accidents.
Phubbing is a technical word invented to describe an action of swiping, reading or typing during a conversation with people who are physically present. It refers to a person interacting with his/her phone (or other device) rather than interacting with a human being. Common sense would condemn a phubber as someone who lacks a certain respect for his fellow human being. Phubber offends his/her present and nearby neighbor by constantly interacting with his/her tablet, smartphone or computer while purporting to listen. Phubbing is a combination of phone and snubbing.
Is phubbing a sin?
Increasingly, many people, Christians as well as non-Christians, are wondering whether phubbing is a sin or not. While confronting on this issues of phubbing I always take not only the technological approach but also the biblical approach to friendship. The wise said “Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away,” (Prov.27:10c). In light of this biblical verse I find out the technological benefits of smartphones (other devices) weigh little if we do not take into consideration the concept of “phubbing”. Phubbing is a scathe to biblical love. This verse indicates that we need to not only give preference to a neighbor who is near (for this neighbor can come to our assistance faster than a brother/sister who lives remotely far away from us) but also to grasp accurately the notion of good neighbor. A good neighbor is a person who empathizes and is attentive to the fate of someone who is near him. The parable of the Good Samaritan illustrates perfectly the notion of good neighbor (Luke 10:25-37) who cares about the unknown man bitten to death.
Phubbing, in contrast, favors virtual friendship or brotherhood. Phubber neglects the person who is close to him/her. Many parents wonder their kids are spending a great deal of their time in bedroom with tablets or computers that puts a dent to parent-children relationship. Married couples conversation is not spared either from the destructiveness of phubbing. A spouse is spending a lot of his/her time with Facebook friends without taking care of his/her spouse or children will end up to destroy his/her marriage or family.
Biblically, sin is a transgression of the law of God (1 John 3:4) and the law of God is encompassed into these two commandments: “you shall love the lord your god with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength and you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” (Mark 12:3-31). Phubbing is a sin for it is antithetical to the commandment to love one’s neighbor as one’ self. A phubber does not show respect to his/her fellow. Disrespecting a human being regardless his/her gender, religion, social or economic, political status is a sin.
The concepts of nearness and immediacy in friendship
Even though, you may find both concepts of nearness and immediacy in friendship abstruse. My conclusive advice would clear up your mind to avoid phubbing, when you do not know what to do while a phone rings or Facebook messenger bits you need to respond this way:
First, if the call of your “virtual” friend is not an emergency you may let him/her know that you are with someone right now and you will call him/her later. Or if what you are watching or reading on Facebook or YouTube can be accessible in later time you can postpone watching or reading for the benefit of your closest neighbor.
Second, if the call is an emergency or what you are watching is a live event you may apologize to your closest neighbor to give a little time to talk to your “remote” friend or watch the show and you will be back to him/her shortly.
This will show to both of your neighbors your integrity and unbiased love, and the sin of phubbing will not grip on your life. You will always honor your neighbor as a fellow human being created in the image of God. A good Christian is someone who is gregarious or sociable for the purpose to witness the love of Christ to his/her neighbor.
The Apostle Paul tells us to do that whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, is of good repute, be the object of our mind, (Philippians 4:8). Phubbing is antithetical to love and is far away from being true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute.
We need educate our family members, church, and community of the danger of phubbing.
Aime Eben-Ezer Kidimbu
Love Evangelical Church
Raleigh, NC
Paul Tsasa
Sent from my iPhone
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Aimekim Eben-Ezer
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From: 'Paul Tsasa' via COCOMNC-RALEIGH
Sent: 4/16/2016 12:16 PM
To: cocomnc...@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: COCOMNC-RALEIGH The Sin of Phubbing