Oh Yes I 39;m Single And So Is My Girlfriend Pdf

[Dorthea Seate]

I was branded as the eternal single girl, the girl everyone said would never settle down, the girl who never got too close to any guy and the girl who used to get mad at her friends for spending more time with their boyfriend than their girlfriends.

It became a ritual for my friends and me. We would get ready together, blast music, drink cocktails, get all dolled up and go out to bars and clubs throughout the city. Each of us would set our eye on a guy, and the whole night was a flirty chase from there on out.

My friends and I would wake up in the morning and compare hookup stories after stumbling in the door or down the stairs. We would go get an iced coffee and a breakfast sandwich, maybe go to class, smoke some pot to cure the hangover, hangout and then get ready to do it all over again the next night.

I never got too close to anyone I hooked up with in college. There was no dating in college. No one went on dates. You went out drinking with friends and had fun with whomever you were with or met that night.

There were no rules, no exclusivity and I knew that. I was not nave to the fact that the cute guy I made out with at that house party on Thursday night could possibly end up making out with some blonde chick right in front of my face at the club on Saturday. It happens.

School was winding to an end, I was about to graduate and go on to get a job who knows where or doing what, but my friends were all going in different directions. I didn't really know what was going to be next for me.

We were immediately hooked on each other. During those last few weeks leading up to graduation, we spent practically every day together, enjoying the last bit of college life we had left in a complete daze of infatuation.

College quickly came to an end, and we found ourselves two hours away from each other trying to figure out what our relationship even was. All of this was on top of the fact that our relationship would now have to be long-distance.

We visited each other on weekends, talked on the phone and slowly started envisioning our future together. We made it work for about eight months before we decided to move in together. I had never, ever thought I would find myself living with a man so soon after college, but it just made sense. We wanted to be together.

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years now. I love her and consider myself the luckiest I have ever been to have her. She is the most loyal and committed woman I have ever been with. Ever since the first few months of our relationship, we would stay at each others' houses every night and rarely spent nights apart. So we essentially lived with each other this entire time and have had very minimal problems or conflicts. We now have our own apartment and are still getting along as living partners great. That is the beautiful thing about our relationship is that we are so compatible and cooperative that we can spend every day with each other with little-to-no problems. Of course, there are small things that we get angry about (i.e. "how come I'm always the one doing blah blah?", "all you do is play video games", etc) but they are always temporary and they do not affect the structural integrity of our relationship. We have our ups and downs, and have even separated at one point because things were not working correctly. We eventually reunited and agreed to improve on (and we have improved on) the areas where we were lacking in our relationship. Today, we are strong, together and have big commitments in our future.

BUT... here is my predicament. I have a friend that I met through work (we no longer work together currently) and have gotten to be very close friends. She confides in me about things she says she does not tell anyone else, even her family. We share several common interests, passions and get along very well. She has many desirable qualities as a woman and as a person in general. She is essentially the polar-opposite of my girlfriend in many regards. She's also drop dead gorgeous. She has also fought through some very adverse and tragic phases of her life on her own will and has made it to become a strong, independent, self-sufficient, and loving person. She still has her flaws, and actually comes to me for help and guidance. She has had a difficult past with relationships and has always seemingly ended up with guys who don't give her the love, care, commitment, dedication, etc. that she deserves. She has also stated that she is not ready for another relationship as she is still not over her ex-husband. Also, she doesn't get along with other women and doesn't have many female friends (which makes things more difficult) So recently, she has been just "hooking up", "seeing" and spending time with guys. All of which seem to just want to get in her pants. She's aware of what some guys are capable of, yet her actions still contradict what she really wants, which is to be single and emotionally heal from her previous relationship.

We text each other very often and spend time with each other a lot (sometimes alone and sometimes with my girlfriend and other friends). I've always been physically attracted to her, but in the past few months other feelings have started to develop. I feel a connection with her. It feels wrong and I don't know how it even developed. I love my girlfriend and would never break my loyalty to her. However, I also understand that you simply can't change what your heart feels. I've tried to remedy this problem with an attempt to channel or reroute my feelings in an appropriate manner, in the form of being a good and loyal FRIEND. When she needs me, I'm there. If she needs advice, I'll give it. If she needs a smile, I'll try to make her laugh. That kind of thing. Purely platonic friendship. My strategy has held firm but as not solved my problem. I don't want to have feelings for this woman! Keep in mind I have never told her that I do have feelings for her.

So just last night, we had a get-together/kickback at her place and my girlfriend and I went. Mind you, alcohol was involved. We were all having a great time. There were two guys that came, one of which she knew (and apparently liked). There came a point during the night where everyone (minus my girlfriend and I) became visibly drunk, including my friend. I know she is quite the belligerent drinker and doesn't think quite clearly when she drinks so I kept a close but subtle eye on her. She began making out with this guy (who I believe she has only know for a month or so). There was this feeling in my stomach and fire that started to burn in my mind when I saw it. Jealously? Maybe. The way I analyzed it in my own mind was that I was having a conflict within my own mind. One side of me has feelings for this girl and the other side of me knows her past and has a duty as a friend to protect her from situations where she will get hurt again. For the lack of a better phrase, this sucked ass for more than one reason. Not only did I feel guilty that I was jealous of what I was seeing because my girlfriend was there, but because I had no right to feel guilty! I care for this girl in more ways than one, but I want it to only be ONE way...the PLATONIC way. I don't want to jeopardize this relationship with my girlfriend that I've built for so long.

I'm all out of ideas of how to remedy this situation. Do I tell the truth to her about how I feel and lay my cards out on the table? Would that solve anything? Do I continue trying to be a good friend? Will my feelings eventually dissipate or get even stronger? I really need some help here.

The song had been popularized by the Carter Family, but I've yet to see definitive authorship information. In the Anthology notes, 1927 is listed as the recording date, but it was likely around long before that. But it's a bit repetitive for my taste, and so without really thinking about it, I took the liberty of adding a bridge. It fit the band nicely and became a go-to at shows. (It was also a self-fulfilling prophecy: when the ladies in the band started getting married and having babies themselves, it was the death knell for The Estelles.)

She made it sound as if the folk police might be after me for a songwriting crime. But what we think of as those venerable TRADS have sometimes been sliced, diced, amended and redacted hundreds of times to fit a particular zeitgeist or set of vocal chords. Sometimes it's just plain-old mishearing: just listen to that Folkways Anthology, and I'll give you a hundred dollars if you can make out every word, or even every other word sometimes. And many of the songs that we think of as belonging to a specific artist are only attributed to them because they were the first to record it. That includes many Carter Family songs, according to the author of Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone, a fantastic history of both the family and the beginnings of the recording industry.

One of them, I decided, was to take a real female murderer who has committed an egregious crime, one in which the court of public opinion was definitively against her, and to make her case sympathetic. Lizzie Borden, the namesake of the workshop and a villain that everyone knows, was actually acquitted of any crime, but not many people know that; I learned it in the course of preparing for the workshop from a friend. It's possible that because she wasn't yet married, which meant at the time that for a woman of her age she was turning into a spinster, that she was an easy scapegoat for the press who could portray her as a frustrated, strange, childless woman.

For the first song, I went through a mental Rolodex of real stories I knew and stopped at the story of Susan Smith, who rolled her children into a lake in 1994. Who could be worse than a woman who murders her own child? And who blames an imaginary black man for the crime? I tried to put my own opinion of her aside, one that was formed largely from network television and did a little digging. I hit on a profile by true-crime enthusiast Rachel Pergament who provided some history.

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