7 reasons not to mess with children.
A little girl was
talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it
was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The
little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
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A Kindergarten
teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to
see
each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the
drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
'They will in a minute.'
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A
Sunday school teacher
was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year
olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother,
she
asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
and
sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
'Thou shall not kill..'
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One day a little girl was sitting
and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that
her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your
hairs
white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me
cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
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The children had
all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to
buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher,
she's dead.'
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A teacher was
giving a lesson on the
circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
'Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it,
and
I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the
blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your
feet ain't empty.'
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The
children were
lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the
head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and
posted
on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.'
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It
doesn't matter
how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your
friends will laugh too.