Today's Blog Posts 04/10/09

[phun...@aol.com]

Jokes Leno Didn’t Buy But Should Have

April 10th, 2009
 

TED KENNEDY

Ted Kennedy threw out the first pitch at the Boston Red Sox season opener Tuesday. The radar gun clocked it at 90 proof.

CAMP VICTORY

President Obama never traveled off the U.S. military base in Iraq. He didn’t want to take the chance of a terrorist spotting him on the street and saying, “Hey! Barack! Long time no see. How’s the wife and kids? Give me a call…same cave…same number.”

VERMONT

Vermont joined Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa in legalizing gay marriage on Tuesday. Ben & Jerry celebrated the move with a new flavor called “Ben with a Jerry on Top.”

ADD, VERMONT

To enforce the bill legalizing gay marriage in Vermont, the state legislature had to override the veto of Republican Governor Jim Douglas. Before the vote, a spokesman for the Vermont gay lobby said to Douglas, “We going to override you like you’ve never been overridden before. We’re gonna override you hard. We’re gonna20override you long. You’ll be screaming for your mommy!” After the vote, everybody smoked a cigarette.

BILL O’REILLY

On Wednesday night, Bill O’Reilly told his viewers that he predicted Barack Obama would go to Iraq on Tuesday. Of course, we all know the reason Bill didn’t announce his prediction on the air Monday night…Because he made it up Wednesday morning.

ADD, BILL O’REILLY

And give us a break, Bill. Even if you did get this Obama prediction right…you whiffed on all the others. He wasn’t a Muslim, he’s not a terrorist, and he didn’t take your guns away. Well, not yet, anyway.

IRAN JOURNALIST

An American-Iranian journalist with dual-citizenship has been jailed in Tehran and charged with working without legitimate press credentials and spying against the government. Or as that’s known in the U.S…working for MSNBC or the New York Times.

POLLING

According to “The News Hour with Jim Lehrer,” current polling indicates that younger voters overwhelmingly support gay marriage, so in a short time, gay marriage will become a national reality. The religious right disagrees. If somehow they can get Sarah Palin elected President in 2012, the Moral Majority will win the day when Armageddon occurs in 2013.

Posted in Politics Pure and Cynical, Uncategorized | Edit | No Comments »

Jokes Leno Didn’t Buy But Should Have

April 10th, 2009

UNHOLY TOLEDO

A Fox Sports Radio announcer in Toledo, Ohio, has been sentenced in a road rage incident. Because of his issues with hatred and uncontrollable rage, the man lost his job at Fox Sports but he’s getting a new job at Fox News.

MILEY & DOGG

Snoop Dogg has told 16-year-old rocker Miley Cyrus he wants to record a “gangsta pop” song with her. Miley said she’d consider it as long as R. Kelly isn’t involved.

MADONNA< /div>

Madonna is donating $500,000 for earthquake relief in Italy. It sounds like a lot to spend on cracks in the Earth…but she’s spent more than that on the cracks in her face before 9:00 A.M.

---

Save money by eating out! Find great dining coupons in your area.