Fwd: .BACHELOR OF CORRUPTION

[aries shankar]

NEW COURSE INTRO BY VEGGI VENKATARAMAN EDITED BY SHANKAR

.

.

 

National Corruption Institute Of India (NCII)

 

Affiliated To Indian Parliament

 

Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World’s Best C-School

Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption (BC).

Earn your BC from the World’s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies

 

OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:-

 

Financial Theory and Practice

 

·         Transfer of funds through HAWALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA

·         FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.

·         Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.

·         Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like ‘Chai Pani’, ‘Parcel’, ‘Change’, ‘Gift Box’ , ‘Color TV’, ‘Foreign Trip’ and the ever popular ‘Children’s School Fees’

 

Public Relations (PR) and Media Management

 

·         Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.

·         Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.

·         Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.

·         Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.

·         Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”

·         Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.

 

Law and Order Module

 

In this module you will learn how to:

·         Commit MURDER and RAPE

·         Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control

·         Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.

·         Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the first place!

·         FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this chapter by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!

 

Advanced Riotology

 

·         Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.

·         Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS

·         Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of ‘DESI DARU’ to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!

·         Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.

·         Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.

·         Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.

 

Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of World cl-ass Professors . Special Courses In:

·         ‘2G SPECTRUM – A NEW THEORY IN Telecommunications & ITS PerspectiveS’ By Professor Andimuthu Raja

·         ‘Flat CAPTURING From Army JawanS’ By Professor Ashok Chavan

·         ‘The Correct Standard of Clean’ By Professor Lalit Bhanot

·         ‘Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal-INDIA MODEL’ By Professor Suresh Kalmadi

·         ‘Application of Corruption on Non Human Species – Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder’By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav

·         ‘Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money That Building The Taj Mahal Itself’ By Professor Mayawati Kumari.

And Many Many More!!

SO FORGET B-SCHOOL! BE COOL JOIN C-SCHOOL. NCII IS THE BEST.

TEXT BOOKS RECOMMENDED:

HOW TO LOOT A STATE ALREADY LOOTED ,by J. JAYALALITHHAA
METHODOLOGY PREPARING LOKPAL DRAFT REPORTS AND DODGE PEOPLE by kapil sibal, pachi, anna hazaare eta ll.
HOW TO SIT AND PRACTICE ---FASTING by ANNA HAZAARE 

FAST UNTO DEATH.PRACTICE BOOK by BABA RAMDEV
HOW TO RAPE AND STILL NOT PUNISHED...  PUBLISHED BY THE GOVT. OF UP AUTHORED BY POLITICIANS FROM ALL STATES AND INTRO BY MAYAVATHY
HOW TO APPLY BAIL AND ANTICIPATORY BAIL AND ESCAPE FROM THE LAW BY PA CHI...& KAPIL SIBAL
BOOK UNDER PREPARATION....HOW TO PRINT CURRENCY AND DISTRIBUTE CHEAPER IN INDIA: FROM BANGLADESH , NEPAL, BHUTAN, PAKISTAN

ALL BOOKS ARE FULLY/COLORFULLY ILLUSTRATED BY ARNAB GOSWAMI/TIMESNOW TEAM

[krishnan arunachalam]

The is very interesting.  One of my friends suggested that Kalaingnor and Man mohan singh should be a visiting professors. Regards K. Arunachalam --- On Sun, 7/3/11, aries shankar <aries...@gmail.com> wrote:

[aries shankar]

--
V. Shankar
Aries Books International
10 Venkataraman Street
Srinivasa Avenue
Chennai 600 028
Ph:  24959818