SaNtA BaNtA StRiKeS AgaIn

[Narayan]

Quick thinking at right time

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta, "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank God that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa, "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realized that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

I can help have faith in me

Banta was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.
In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.
Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.
Full of fear, Banta cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer.
Again and again he cried out but to no avail.
Finally Banta yelled, "Is anybody up there? "
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who said that?"
"It's the God."
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help. Have faith in me."
"Help me!"
"Just let go."
Looking around, Banta became full of panic. "What?!?!"
"Have faith in me. Let go. I will catch you."
"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"

Tomorrow I'll try to do even better

Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.

Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day.

"I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."

"Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."

"Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"

Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."



How many people are in the India

Santa was sitting on his porch, when a man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.

"What can I do for you?" Santa politely asked. "You selling something?"

"No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker," the man replied.

"A what?" Santa asked, more confused than ever.

"A Census Taker," he explained. "We're trying to find out how many people are in the India."

"Well, you're wasting your time here," Santa answered finally. "I have no idea."


An Identity Problem

Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.

"I've come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He's due to fly in from Canada in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years."

"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.

"I'm sure I won't," said Santa, "after all, he's been away for a long time."

"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the Banta.

"Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven't been away at all."


Did you have a fight with your wife?

Santa walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you've got."

He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he's going to cut the guy off.

Bartender says to Santa, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?"

Santa sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn't going to speak to me for a whole month!"

The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what's wrong with that?"

Santa replied, "Well today's the last day!"