VACANCY! VACANCY! VACANCY!
GIRLFRIEND/WIFE POSITION AVAILABLE
Applications are invited for the position of a girlfriend/wife.The successful candidate will start as a girlfriend and finally graduate into a wife upon final appraisal. She should posses the following qualities:
1)God fearing (I wanted to say or at least be going to church or be a good girl...but after carefully
thinking about it...let's just stick to God fearing).
2)Should be able to do small menial jobs like washing clothes,cleaning the house,cooking (boiling water and eggs isn't cooking) e.t.c.
3) Should be financially stable or at least be able to support herself...like pay her rent, buy her own shopping, Pay her salon expenses, pay fees for her siblings...oh and buy her own coffee...not unless I decide to settle any or chip in.
4) Should come from a financially stable family (this is to avoid future unreasonable dowry price...if any at all.)
5) At least has a university degree/college (this might change depending on individual basis)
6) Beautiful...gorgeous...pretty...lovely...you get the drift...and that is both internal and external beauty.
7) Should have a killer body (This is self explanatory).
8) She should have multiple moves in...I will not finish this. (This did not come from my brilliant and gentleman head...just came from some friends who should invest in more expensive drugs.)
9) Should be able to provide enough TLC (Google if you have no idea).
10) Should not have any funny accent (Disclaimer-This should not stop any tribe from applying for this position ...but the management reserves the right of admission.)
11)Should not be a husband batterer (am not going to point any fingers or mention any names but some people will undergo thorough grilling and scrutiny by the management and the CID if need be.)
12) Intelligence and smartness is appreciated but you will be dumped before hiring, if you are over smart
13) Only ladies can apply!!!
14)1+ years of prior experience in a relationship are preferable. *Not mandatory though. Overqualified ladies need not apply.
15) Insecure females are not eligible.
16) Expecting too much attention will be injurious to your position and you may be demoted to being “just friends” from the designation of “Girlfriend“.
17) Do not apply if you are a shopping mania
18) Must be resistant & accommodating to occasional bursts of high temper.
19) Should not SMS/call 1000 times in a day. Freedom of the boyfriend is desired for this role. If you turn out to be excessively possessive, you will be fired (dumped) without any notice period.
20) Should be willing to work for extra hours especially night shifts
Kindly send your Cover letter,CV,current photo of yourself and any other testimonials to new-r...@Gmail.com before the Easter.
N.B: 1. Having been married before will not be an added advantage.
2. If you want to be only ‘Friends’, you can apply somewhere else.
Only successful candidates will be contacted.
Canvassing will lead to automatic disqualification.
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