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lekiap...@gmail.com
Dec 22, 2022, 5:52:27 AM12/22/22
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We should not confess marriage without first confessing love. The order of God to the Church is the confession of love before marriage. I know many will say, you love who you marry. That is true, but marriage should not come before love. Circumstances might change the narrative sometimes, and even tradition. As many of this professors cites the older generation, which have better marriages or lasting ones, as they claim, and so it seems. But with the freedom of expression and increase in knowledge some couples now know what they want and have the courage to enforce it. I say this not to in anyway approve of divorce. What this means is that even those who might believe in divorce, did not have the courage and freedom to enforce it in the past generations, and so we may experience lower divorce rate with them, and not necessarily better marriages. But because they endured they might later see more understanding or better days or even worse days, as we cannot tell.
My point is that God first manifested His love to the Church. After an acknowledgement of that love by the Church, came marriage. As the scripture says, We love him, because he first loved us(1 John 4:19). And, for God so loved the world. It is those that He first loved in the world, and who received that love, that became the Church, who received the proposal of marriage, and the marriage rite, as the bride of Christ.
Love also, is first expected from the man who is to be a husband, and not necessarily the wife. The woman who will become the wife might only start resuming the responsibility of love only after the man has confessed his love. This is the natural order of things, and the order which God followed in approaching a world which He loved. This does not mean the woman cannot love a man first. If we say so, we will be taking away the power of her choice. But this is not first require of her, and she is in no obligation to do so. She is first a recipient of the man's love, and then comes her love, as she so chooses, and should so choose if she is to have any meaningful union with the man. This love, of both the man and the woman is to be carried undiluted into marriage.
Speaking of the nature of love, love gives, and exactly to the extent of giving itself. So also it is required from God, that husbands loves their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave itself for her. It is this kind of love that has the boast of God, that love never fails. If the wife also claims she loves the husband she will reciprocate the love in the same manner and intensity as God has ordained and requires. A good replica of this is the saints of the church (bride of Christ) who gave their lives for Christ (the husband).
My point is that God first manifested His love to the Church. After an acknowledgement of that love by the Church, came marriage. As the scripture says, We love him, because he first loved us(1 John 4:19). And, for God so loved the world. It is those that He first loved in the world, and who received that love, that became the Church, who received the proposal of marriage, and the marriage rite, as the bride of Christ.
Love also, is first expected from the man who is to be a husband, and not necessarily the wife. The woman who will become the wife might only start resuming the responsibility of love only after the man has confessed his love. This is the natural order of things, and the order which God followed in approaching a world which He loved. This does not mean the woman cannot love a man first. If we say so, we will be taking away the power of her choice. But this is not first require of her, and she is in no obligation to do so. She is first a recipient of the man's love, and then comes her love, as she so chooses, and should so choose if she is to have any meaningful union with the man. This love, of both the man and the woman is to be carried undiluted into marriage.
Speaking of the nature of love, love gives, and exactly to the extent of giving itself. So also it is required from God, that husbands loves their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave itself for her. It is this kind of love that has the boast of God, that love never fails. If the wife also claims she loves the husband she will reciprocate the love in the same manner and intensity as God has ordained and requires. A good replica of this is the saints of the church (bride of Christ) who gave their lives for Christ (the husband).
Etiene-Obong Eric
Dec 22, 2022, 6:21:11 AM12/22/22
to Christian Living
Love should be the driving force to seek a union. And that which constantly keep us committed to our union.
A love void of selfish gain.
My concern is that this love is also a love we were commanded to offer to our brethren.
Not only are we asked to lay down our lives for our wives but also to our friends and brother.
It's this love not supposed to be our disposition towards all in the Christian faith?
If this is the case that we are commanded to love everyone in the Christian faith, does it mean we can marry anyone that is of the faith?
Or there should be other Criteria I should consider before confessing Marriage?
lekiap...@gmail.com
Dec 22, 2022, 6:31:40 AM12/22/22
to Christian Living
You can marry any christian but can only marry one. So the christian you choose to marry should be God-given, and that doesn't mean that others do not qualify, but there can only be one for you.
Etiene Eric
Dec 22, 2022, 6:38:32 AM12/22/22
to lekiap...@gmail.com, christ...@googlegroups.com
Indeed we can marry only one. What qualifies one to be the one. God demonstrated what Loving our neighbors meant by using a good Samaritan.
Loving our neighbors ourselves. And our neighbor is not also necessarily one of the same faith. Since I am a Christian, love shouldn't be an issue and no longer what I should check before committing to someone for I have been commanded to love all in my community. Having satisfied that shouldn't be other things I must check before confessing marriage to someone of my faith. Must it be because I love you, therefore I seek a union with you? I may as well say what about the other sisters?
Don't you love them?
Why don't you also seek a union with any of them too?
Loving our neighbors ourselves. And our neighbor is not also necessarily one of the same faith. Since I am a Christian, love shouldn't be an issue and no longer what I should check before committing to someone for I have been commanded to love all in my community. Having satisfied that shouldn't be other things I must check before confessing marriage to someone of my faith. Must it be because I love you, therefore I seek a union with you? I may as well say what about the other sisters?
Don't you love them?
Why don't you also seek a union with any of them too?
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Etiene Eric
Dec 22, 2022, 6:45:35 AM12/22/22
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Etiene Eric
Indeed we can marry only one. What then qualifies one to be the one. God demonstrated what Loving our neighbors meant by using a good Samaritan.
That we should love our neighbors as ourselves. And our neighbor is not also necessarily just the ones of the same faith. Since I am a Christian, love shouldn't be an issue and no longer what I should check before committing to someone, for I have been commanded to love all in my community. Having satisfied this shouldn't there be other things I must check before confessing marriage to someone of my faith. Must it be because I love you, therefore I seek a union with you? I may as well ask, what about the other sisters?
That we should love our neighbors as ourselves. And our neighbor is not also necessarily just the ones of the same faith. Since I am a Christian, love shouldn't be an issue and no longer what I should check before committing to someone, for I have been commanded to love all in my community. Having satisfied this shouldn't there be other things I must check before confessing marriage to someone of my faith. Must it be because I love you, therefore I seek a union with you? I may as well ask, what about the other sisters?
Don't you love them?
Why don't you also seek a union with any of them too?
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Message has been deleted
Gospel Lekia
Dec 22, 2022, 7:49:41 AM12/22/22
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Of course, there are several other things to look out for before you take a wife as a Christian. Foremost of them is the fact that your partner must be a Christian, not just a church-goer. But in this discussion, I think the author limited the scope of his discussion to love before marriage, siting Christ and his church as his model. Though the author was not explicit, I would say that the love for the one you want to marry is not the same as that you have for all other sisters in the Christian faith. I wrote an article on something similar here.
Etiene Eric
Dec 22, 2022, 7:50:51 AM12/22/22
to lekia...@gmail.com, christ...@googlegroups.com
Alright, what makes the love we have for our spouse different from that we have for our other brethren?
For the greatest form of love is to lay down our life.
And we are asked to do so to our brethren and also with our wives.
And I also believe the love that Christ has for the church was Agape.
For I know filial love nor Erotic love will neither lay down their life.
How do we know the kind of love we must have towards a sister that will make us approach her and confess to her.
Is it a feeling or...?
Since Love is an established fact for all in the faith. Something else should follow for me to want to confess marriage.
Or else it will be right to say that I must "have feelings" for her before considering marriage and that feeling I should confess.
Is this "feeling" a different form love?
Is is this feeling that can enable me lay down my life?
.
This are just a sincere question?
For the greatest form of love is to lay down our life.
And we are asked to do so to our brethren and also with our wives.
And I also believe the love that Christ has for the church was Agape.
For I know filial love nor Erotic love will neither lay down their life.
How do we know the kind of love we must have towards a sister that will make us approach her and confess to her.
Is it a feeling or...?
Since Love is an established fact for all in the faith. Something else should follow for me to want to confess marriage.
Or else it will be right to say that I must "have feelings" for her before considering marriage and that feeling I should confess.
Is this "feeling" a different form love?
Is is this feeling that can enable me lay down my life?
.
This are just a sincere question?
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Of course, there are several other things to look out for before you take a wife as a Christian. Foremost of them is the fact that your partner must be a Christian, not just a church-goer. But in this discussion, I think the author limited the scope of his discussion to love before marriage, siting Christ and his church as his model. Though the author was not explicit, I would say that the love for the one you want to marry is not the same as that you have for all other sisters in the Christian faith.
On Thursday, December 22, 2022 at 12:45:35 PM UTC+1 etieneo...@gmail.com wrote:
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/christianlivn/60ca9f70-31f1-49e9-b578-d5597dd8a831n%40googlegroups.com.
Gospel Lekia
Dec 22, 2022, 9:26:09 AM12/22/22
to Etiene Eric, christ...@googlegroups.com
I don't claim to be an expert in "love" matters, but this is an honest attempt to answer your questions. Let's examine these statements: "What manner of love the father has bestowed upon us". Also in another place, it says "No greater love than this ... that a man lay down his life...". Christ loved the disciples but John was called the beloved. Also "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church" all these points to the obvious, it's multifaceted.
1. We are called to love everyone, and how. "love your neighbour as yourself" Mark 12:31.
2. We are called to love our friends. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13.
3. We are called to love our wives and how. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Ephesians 5:25
The third one is directed to one person. The first two are directed to the public.
The three can be likened to how it appears Christ related to :
1. The world (his neighbours),
2. His disciples (his friends).
3. John the Beloved (his friend).
The dynamics of love are inexhaustible, but to say it's equal across the board, I leave it to you to decide. Don't forget the person we call wife falls into the three categories. But everyone does not fall into her category and no one else does.
Remember your wife has also moved from category one to three. Whoever you chose to put in that position and what yardstick you choose (e.g feelings) is left to you.
The Bible has instructed us to love all three categories (and possibly lay down our lives - meaning sacrifice) and has also shown us how to love these three categories of people.
I don't think it's a matter of equality as much as access.
In summary
1. "love your neighbour as you love yourself" Mark 12:31. (Paraphrase)
1. We are called to love everyone, and how. "love your neighbour as yourself" Mark 12:31.
2. We are called to love our friends. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13.
3. We are called to love our wives and how. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Ephesians 5:25
The third one is directed to one person. The first two are directed to the public.
The three can be likened to how it appears Christ related to :
1. The world (his neighbours),
2. His disciples (his friends).
3. John the Beloved (his friend).
The dynamics of love are inexhaustible, but to say it's equal across the board, I leave it to you to decide. Don't forget the person we call wife falls into the three categories. But everyone does not fall into her category and no one else does.
Remember your wife has also moved from category one to three. Whoever you chose to put in that position and what yardstick you choose (e.g feelings) is left to you.
The Bible has instructed us to love all three categories (and possibly lay down our lives - meaning sacrifice) and has also shown us how to love these three categories of people.
I don't think it's a matter of equality as much as access.
In summary
1. "love your neighbour as you love yourself" Mark 12:31. (Paraphrase)
2. "love your wives, as Christ loved the church" John 15:13. (Paraphrase)
Etiene Eric
Dec 22, 2022, 9:54:31 AM12/22/22
to lekia...@gmail.com, christ...@googlegroups.com
We can therefore say that the measure of love is positional. It is not the love I have for you that places you in that position but because of the position that demands such love.
We cannot choose our brothers and sisters, but because he or she is my brother or my sister love is demanded.
Same with our parents we love them because they are parents(position).
We do not say because I love them I make them my parents.
God's measure of love is proportionate to our relationship with him.
It is not because Jesus love John more that he made John the beloved. It is because John became more intimate with Jesus and hence demanded such love...
I am writing this to also commend the writer's affirmation that people said we should love who will marry. And to also reason from the angle from which these people are coming
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Gospel Lekia
Dec 22, 2022, 10:01:58 AM12/22/22
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