[Christian Eye] Tis the Season for a Testimony
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Keri
Dec 24, 2006, 2:54:32 PM12/24/06
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Visit Christian Eye at http://christian-eye.blogspot.com
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I've felt a strong urge to bear my testimony over the past few days. And since the internet is full of testimonies (well founded or otherwise) what better place?
I grew up in the Mormon culture. It is a culture like none other. Many Christians believe it to be a cult (more on that later). I am very fond of the good upbringing and stabilization that church affords its members. However, I always found myself lacking. I would read a verse in the bible like the one that says "by grace ye are saved and not by works less any man should boast". I probably paraphrased, but anyone with a bit of Biblical training would understand where I'm going. The LDS church (fond as I am of Mormons) added a bit to that verse. They say that by grace we are saved after all that we can do.
Okay okay...LDS members claim that the bible has been translated a million times and things have been lost. I understand that...but consider this:
The one true living loving God who really loves and cares for his people and wants them to come to him and live with him probably wouldn't make it so hard to get there...right? After attempting to be Mormon for a good portion of my adolescence, I was finally starting to feel buried under guilt, shame, and all of the responsibility that Mormon's have in doing all they can do to get to heaven.
I talked to one of the Bishops who suggested that I read the Book of Mormon to get a better testimony of it and to pray Moroni's Prayer at the end asking with a sincere heart whether it was true. I thought, coming from the Bishop (pastor) I should probably give this a shot.
So I did...
I spent a few months reading the Book of Mormon, holy cow did it make me feel good to tell all of my Mormon friends that I had made it through this book. Any who, I read it. Then I asked with as much sincerity as I could muster for God to tell me whether it was true......and then, nothing.
more nothing....
I figured I wasn't being sincere enough, so I tried to invite the spirit...I cried, I read some more of the book...and asked again, "Lord, is the Book of Mormon true?"
more nothing....
Every Mormon I talked to told me that I should get a burning in my bosum confirming that the book was true. I got nothing... For several days I prayed and pleaded every night for the Lord to manifest the truth of the Book of Mormon to me, and every night I got nothing.
Obviously this cast a bit of doubt on the situation. I started to wonder if God really did exsist. I started to worry if whether or not I was sincere or if some sin was keeping me from hearing God speak to me. I had never heard him or felt him in the way I thought I should. I began to think deeper into the situation wondering, "if there is a God, and he knows me and loves me...why would it be so dang hard to hear him? Why would he make it so hard for his children to communicate with him? What I needed was a neon sign from him telling me whether it was him in my head or something else. I couldn't understand that if he wanted me in heaven so badly, why would he make it incredibly difficult to get there?
Well, these questions would never be answered fully, at least not be Mormon doctrine. I had to leave. I fell away from Church altogether, I was mad at God for never answering me that night, I was mad that my family wasn't what I thought a good family should be. I didn't understand why God put me in certain situations and never helped me get out.
What I didn't know, was that he was helping me get out. Not just out of my bad situations, but out of a church system that was slowing strangling my spirit from me. I wandered for a few years being mad at everything.
Eventually, I started feeling empty again. I wasn't making it financially, mentally, or spiritually. I needed to believe in God again. I wanted to go back to church. I almost made the mistake of rejoining Mormonism, but I really didn't want the judgment that unfortunately resides there for anyone who doesn't meet the status quo. I wanted the unconditional acceptance and love that they talked about so much in the bible. Why isn't that present in the LDS church?
I wandered a little longer thinking about going back, but something always kept me from that place...I just couldn't bring myself to walk back in there and have them call me sister White to my face, and talk about my life behind my back. Then a wonderful thing happened.
I went on a date with a great guy (now my husband). We had a terrific time and when I asked about a possible second date, he invited me to church with him. Imagine that! I thought, "This is great! I can go back to church and feed my starving soul". So, I went....
I had been to other churches before, but never ever in my life had I felt the spirit like I felt it that day. I was completely floored. It was the best experience of my life because it was almost like Jesus Christ himself had come down from heaven and invited me in. FINALLY!
I could finally hear the Lord clearly speaking softly to me! He said, "Come back and worship me in the right way. Come and meet me at my table and finally fill your life and your soul with my love for you." The church had an alter call that day and I practically ran down the isle! I wanted to finally meet the God that I had read about in the bible. I wanted to feel the love he had for me. I prayed to Jesus begging him to take me away, so that I could be with him. I begged him to accept me and love me and forgive me for being so bitter for so long.
Oh how it has changed me! My dear Jesus didn't just give me back my life he gave me back my life abundantly. In the space of six or seven months I lived my life like I had never lived before. I was finally saved and Jesus was so thrilled to finally have me with him. I say that as if I am talking about a true living friend of mine, because that is what my Lord is. I feel like I can take on the world with him near me, and all he wanted from me was a willing acceptance of who he truly is.
He told me that I now have a real truth for the first time, I was finally coming out of the darkness and into the light for him. He wants me to remain in the light with him, just as he wants you to finally come out of the darkness.
He loves Mormons so much, he aches for them. He knows how wonderful they are, he created them. I've begged him to redeem that church and he has told me that he wants to so badly because he knows and loves each one of them. Oh how he wants to show his love to them, in the right way. He wants them to feel the true spirit, he wants them to feel a spirit that is far greater and more powerful than the one they already feel. The spirit in the Mormon Church reminds me of how you feel during the end of a sad movie. The spirit was meant to be felt in such a different way. He wants to share that with the Mormon people and show them that they don't have to overcomplicate salvation. The work is done! He did it for them on the cross and only through him, through his grace we are saved....he wants to cry with them, laugh with them, and live in their hearts forever and ever. Amen.
--
Posted By Keri to Christian Eye at 12/24/2006 12:59:00 AM
Visit Christian Eye at http://christian-eye.blogspot.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've felt a strong urge to bear my testimony over the past few days. And since the internet is full of testimonies (well founded or otherwise) what better place?I grew up in the Mormon culture. It is a culture like none other. Many Christians believe it to be a cult (more on that later). I am very fond of the good upbringing and stabilization that church affords its members. However, I always found myself lacking. I would read a verse in the bible like the one that says "by grace ye are saved and not by works less any man should boast". I probably paraphrased, but anyone with a bit of Biblical training would understand where I'm going. The LDS church (fond as I am of Mormons) added a bit to that verse. They say that by grace we are saved after all that we can do.
Okay okay...LDS members claim that the bible has been translated a million times and things have been lost. I understand that...but consider this:
The one true living loving God who really loves and cares for his people and wants them to come to him and live with him probably wouldn't make it so hard to get there...right? After attempting to be Mormon for a good portion of my adolescence, I was finally starting to feel buried under guilt, shame, and all of the responsibility that Mormon's have in doing all they can do to get to heaven.
I talked to one of the Bishops who suggested that I read the Book of Mormon to get a better testimony of it and to pray Moroni's Prayer at the end asking with a sincere heart whether it was true. I thought, coming from the Bishop (pastor) I should probably give this a shot.
So I did...
I spent a few months reading the Book of Mormon, holy cow did it make me feel good to tell all of my Mormon friends that I had made it through this book. Any who, I read it. Then I asked with as much sincerity as I could muster for God to tell me whether it was true......and then, nothing.
more nothing....
I figured I wasn't being sincere enough, so I tried to invite the spirit...I cried, I read some more of the book...and asked again, "Lord, is the Book of Mormon true?"
more nothing....
Every Mormon I talked to told me that I should get a burning in my bosum confirming that the book was true. I got nothing... For several days I prayed and pleaded every night for the Lord to manifest the truth of the Book of Mormon to me, and every night I got nothing.
Obviously this cast a bit of doubt on the situation. I started to wonder if God really did exsist. I started to worry if whether or not I was sincere or if some sin was keeping me from hearing God speak to me. I had never heard him or felt him in the way I thought I should. I began to think deeper into the situation wondering, "if there is a God, and he knows me and loves me...why would it be so dang hard to hear him? Why would he make it so hard for his children to communicate with him? What I needed was a neon sign from him telling me whether it was him in my head or something else. I couldn't understand that if he wanted me in heaven so badly, why would he make it incredibly difficult to get there?
Well, these questions would never be answered fully, at least not be Mormon doctrine. I had to leave. I fell away from Church altogether, I was mad at God for never answering me that night, I was mad that my family wasn't what I thought a good family should be. I didn't understand why God put me in certain situations and never helped me get out.
What I didn't know, was that he was helping me get out. Not just out of my bad situations, but out of a church system that was slowing strangling my spirit from me. I wandered for a few years being mad at everything.
Eventually, I started feeling empty again. I wasn't making it financially, mentally, or spiritually. I needed to believe in God again. I wanted to go back to church. I almost made the mistake of rejoining Mormonism, but I really didn't want the judgment that unfortunately resides there for anyone who doesn't meet the status quo. I wanted the unconditional acceptance and love that they talked about so much in the bible. Why isn't that present in the LDS church?
I wandered a little longer thinking about going back, but something always kept me from that place...I just couldn't bring myself to walk back in there and have them call me sister White to my face, and talk about my life behind my back. Then a wonderful thing happened.
I went on a date with a great guy (now my husband). We had a terrific time and when I asked about a possible second date, he invited me to church with him. Imagine that! I thought, "This is great! I can go back to church and feed my starving soul". So, I went....
I had been to other churches before, but never ever in my life had I felt the spirit like I felt it that day. I was completely floored. It was the best experience of my life because it was almost like Jesus Christ himself had come down from heaven and invited me in. FINALLY!
I could finally hear the Lord clearly speaking softly to me! He said, "Come back and worship me in the right way. Come and meet me at my table and finally fill your life and your soul with my love for you." The church had an alter call that day and I practically ran down the isle! I wanted to finally meet the God that I had read about in the bible. I wanted to feel the love he had for me. I prayed to Jesus begging him to take me away, so that I could be with him. I begged him to accept me and love me and forgive me for being so bitter for so long.
Oh how it has changed me! My dear Jesus didn't just give me back my life he gave me back my life abundantly. In the space of six or seven months I lived my life like I had never lived before. I was finally saved and Jesus was so thrilled to finally have me with him. I say that as if I am talking about a true living friend of mine, because that is what my Lord is. I feel like I can take on the world with him near me, and all he wanted from me was a willing acceptance of who he truly is.
He told me that I now have a real truth for the first time, I was finally coming out of the darkness and into the light for him. He wants me to remain in the light with him, just as he wants you to finally come out of the darkness.
He loves Mormons so much, he aches for them. He knows how wonderful they are, he created them. I've begged him to redeem that church and he has told me that he wants to so badly because he knows and loves each one of them. Oh how he wants to show his love to them, in the right way. He wants them to feel the true spirit, he wants them to feel a spirit that is far greater and more powerful than the one they already feel. The spirit in the Mormon Church reminds me of how you feel during the end of a sad movie. The spirit was meant to be felt in such a different way. He wants to share that with the Mormon people and show them that they don't have to overcomplicate salvation. The work is done! He did it for them on the cross and only through him, through his grace we are saved....he wants to cry with them, laugh with them, and live in their hearts forever and ever. Amen.
--
Posted By Keri to Christian Eye at 12/24/2006 12:59:00 AM
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