It is quite a long walk in the spirit to come to the point of living
in hope - God's hope.
Sometimes we think we "hope" for the saving grace of our Lord and
saviour, but it was my experience that I replaced "hope" and "faith"
with "wishing". That is nothing else than : my will and not God's.
I've seen many beatiful children of God crash and burn because of
this. I, myself have done this and end up blaming God for not hearing
my prayers or not caring.
Human "wishing" can never replace the hope that the Holy Spirit work
in us. And Hope's seeds are planted in the flowerbed of suffering.
When sufering starts in your life, know that God is busy with a
perseverence lesson - it is not about your physical suffering, as
humans we only focus on that. God wants to learn you perseverence
(maybe for a certain task He wants you to perform.The fruit of
Perseverence is Godly character and a Godly character have this Hope
that doesn't disappoint.
But it all starts at "suffering".I know there are someone outthere
that thinks that God has abandon you because of your trails and
difficult circumstances - just look a bid deeper . look at your
ability to hang in there.
God is busy with a work of art and a work of love in your life, He is
not punishing you
Don't stop searching!