Relationships...
Swapnil Deshpande
Lets Start Living before death chases
us...
"Good
Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"
TRUST is a very important factor for all
relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of
trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity
and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one
day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When
she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this
is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose
number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of
"PUB". 
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many
people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me
your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your
wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind
that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better
husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many
people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he
would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start
of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person,
the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others,
others will ignore our mistake too. 
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
A person visited the government
matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please
help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements,
please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in
singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer
listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is
a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf
husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the
deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and
deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover
that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins. 
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one
party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to
think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits
after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which
carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a
person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation
on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the
meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships
break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,
we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without
considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire
husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and
shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On
the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.
Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered," You
should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire
and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed. 
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different
perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a
donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why
neither of them rides on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the
wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and
commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the
donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down
and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an
old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife
walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join
him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how
can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that,
the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on
their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow
bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and
fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone
condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if
our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which
happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To
his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the
shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the
little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he
rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to
save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the
boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs,
he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but
when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or
u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u
love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too
often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the
performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make
mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a
rage will haunt us forever. 
"Don’t
fall in Love, Rise in Love" ...
- $0p5