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TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all
relationships. When trust
is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in
separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day
she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer.
When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh,
so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I
do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what
will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just
"hello" instead of "PUB".
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NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many
people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with
me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife
for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind
that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better
husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and
respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person
makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the
finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when
we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at
ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore
our mistake too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker
for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please
help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your
requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the
whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent
when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied,
"I understand you need television.."
There is a saying that a perfect match
can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the
blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot
hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting
stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when
the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a and discover that marriage
is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party
tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to
think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad
habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain
or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change.
Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause
disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful
to change ourselves and lower our expectations. .
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RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries
the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation."
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is
too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy.
We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited
their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,
"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."
She answered," You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise,
he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants
the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception.
One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey
from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why
neither of them rides on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband
let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old
man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How
can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing
this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old
Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the
wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then,
they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold
up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that,
the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried
it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later,
on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost
their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise
you, nor will everyone condemn you.. Never in the past, not at present,
and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others
words if our conscience is clear..
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in
the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his
puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the
shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered
the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed
down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to
save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers of both
the hands of the kid. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his
bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck."
Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone
steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose
your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones
& hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference
between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater
than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to
make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
"Good Life starts only when you
stop wanting a better One"
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