Whip around

[Jesse Fetbroth]

Hey everyone,

Our whip-arounds have been such an amazing addition to my weekly routine.  I'm not lying when I say that I have spent all week thinking about my answers to the questions each of you has posed, and I have excitedly scrolled through everyone's thoughts and questions the minutes they hit my inbox.  Thank you for being so thoughtful, challenging (in the best way, of course) and thought-provoking.

Thank you also for being so vulnerable.  You all have been so open and honest with your questions and "answers," and they have all been grounded in your personal beliefs, experiences, and histories, which gives them so much power.  Because of that, this week I want to make a 20 minute ask (ok, 20:50) and have you watch this TedX talk on vulnerability.  It's not only one of my favorites, but I also think it has some really incredible messages for us individually, as a group, as social justice advocates, or just as humans.  You can watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o 

If you feel compelled, I'd love to hear a line, idea, message, etc. from the video that particularly stood out to you.  But it's also completely fine if you'd like to just watch this video and have your thoughts be private this week.  No expectations here.

Enjoy the rest of your week,

Jesse

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Jesse Fetbroth

781.696.8402

[Amy Berkhoudt]

Hi all,

Jesse, I FULLY enjoyed listening to that TEDx. That woman is amazing, super hilarious, and ... well... vulnerable.
I just wanted to send out a note that says: Thank you for sharing this!

I feel compelled to be vulnerable with y'all right now, so I'm going to share this because I think it's a story I need to own.

Favorite line: "We pretend that what we do does not have an effect on us and on others."

I tots relate to this. I feel like I'm a pretty vulnerable person and I enjoy "going there" with people in deep and meaningful conversation. I also am reflecting on how I mask my pride with what I reason to be humility when I rationalize and say things like, "Well, this is only hurting me." Quick example, I was grieving over a rough breakup (details that will come later) right after college... "soulmate," engagement ring, calling off the wedding, that sort of thing. My friends tried to help me grieve by creating a beautiful circle of quiet and love around me. I pushed them away. I quickly bought a ticket to San Francisco (I was in San Diego at the time) and wandered around for 4 days aimlessly. I applied to TFA, got in, and left to Detroit within 2 months (wedding day was set for April, left for TFA in May). Over the past three years, I've missed weddings, birthdays, and phone calls because I was ashamed of abandoning my friends in San Diego. Pride wore the mask of humility when I decided that this was my battle to fight. It's not. And I think the lesson I can now vocalize is that it takes true humility to accept help, support, and love from others. 

Sometimes you'll hear me say things like, "This small group is a really good thing and I really like you all." I think what I'm really saying is that I embrace you, your words of advice, your help, your support, and your love.

Cyber hugs,
Amy

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Jesse Fetbroth

781.696.8402

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Amy Berkhoudt

Cell: 808 283 3335

amy.be...@gmail.com

 

Program Co-Director

Detroit Food & Entrepreneurship Academy

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Detroit-Youth-Food-Brigade

http://detroityouthfoodbrigade.com

[Jane Keir]

Jesse!

I loved this TED talk! Thank you for sharing it with us! I found her
characterization of our generation having the highest rates of
obesity, addiction, and of being the most medicated correlating with
our avoidance of vulnerability to be very interesting and insightful
(especially since I've never come across this argument in the public
health literature).

On a personal note I wonder if the daily vulnerability of teaching is
at the route of teacher burn out? I feel very vulnerable as a teacher
because my students all look to me for knowledge, guidance and truth
and who am I to provide these things? Also, they are always observing
and judging me (usually they're kind, but it feels unsettling
nonetheless). For example, I cut my hair short, and the news spread
through the school -- students I hadn't taught in a year poked their
heads into my classroom to see my hairdo and to comment on it.
Students came up to me in the halls to give me their review of my new
look. I couldn't escape the judgement -- it took almost a week for the
excitement to die down. Then, I have district people observing me
teach and TFA people observing me teach and my administration
observing me teach and the students, and sometimes parents, and I am
constantly judged on my students' performance. It is a very vulnerable
place. I have never before been so scrutinized -- I am sure you can
all relate. This video made me think...am I dealing with the
vulnerability I feel as a teacher or am I just running away from it by
looking for another job?

Best,
Jane

[Candace Burckhardt]

Hello!

I'm finally getting to these really great whiparounds that were sent out. I have internet now, and I am excited to have less rushed interactions on here. Also, to no longer be at McDonalds all the time. :-)

Great video and recommendation, Jesse. I really enjoyed listening to it from the standpoint of my work with youth who have experienced severe trauma. Almost all of my clients come in feeling immense shame from a variety of sources. They actively seek to disconnect in their groups and with staff to avoid having people get to know them and the feelings associated with vulnerability. It is amazing to see the transformation in their lives over the course of their therapy with us. I had a client discharge on Friday and when I asked him what advice he would give other incoming clients or people in a similar position to him, he said the most important step in recovery is to speak your emotional truth. Being able to just say your feelings aloud takes courage, compassion for self-kindness, and shows immense vulnerability. Now, after watching this video, I see how closely his wisdom fits in with the scientific research of Brene Brown. 

Jane, I think your insights on the connection between vulnerability and teacher burnout seem spot on. There is a high performing school in Minneapolis that has observation windows like in an interrogation room in each teacher's classroom, so that they can be evaluated by anyone at anytime. Once I heard that, I stopped interviewing with them because I felt really uncomfortable with that idea, but now I think it quite frankly had to do with my fears of being vulnerable in front of other people in the education field. 

Candace