Cup theory

[Keisha Browning]

Hey all,
This was writ ten about fibromyalgia, but I think it applies to CP too. 

Keisha Browning
Showt...@gmail.com

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Erika" <erika....@btinternet.com>
Date: January 22, 2012 4:17:52 PM EST
To: fibromya...@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [fibromyalgia-chat] Cup Theory - interesting!?
Reply-To: fibromya...@yahoogroups.com

I found this and thought you might like a read.  Its from:

http://www.fmauk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=35365

And its called the Cup Theory, and its a pretty good analogy, although if you take a look yourself you will see that I have altered it as stated.  Tell me what you think.  Erika

Everyone has a limited amount of energy each day with a certain amount of sips. Let's assume we all have a mug full and each activity takes a sip of energy.   I grabbed a mug and actually took the sips. Today's mug contained 14 sips, some days I could have a mug of 10 and some days I could have a mug with 20. One thing is sure, it will never be enough.
Sometimes if you are ill, it may take an extra couple of sips to get you motivated, the same is true of someone with FMS/CFS/ME, they sometimes need more than 1 sip per activity.
The difference is a healthy person will carry on until they are tired, even aching a bit if they have been to the gym or done something strenuous.  Someone with FMS/CFS/ME  gets weaker, more tired, and gets increased pain from every sip taken. Every little action takes away from our "mug"

For instance, it is Monday morning and ....
A healthy person will;
get up, showered and dressed..... 2 sips

A person with FMS will:
Crawl out of bed, very stiff and in pain, after a painful night and lack of sleep.....1 sip
Walk to the bathroom (and sometimes hope to be able to bend enough to use the toilet)......1 sip
Get downstairs................................1 sip
Make a cup of tea/breakfast, sit down and drink/eat it....................1 sip
Get up the stairs................................2 sips
Undress...................................1 sip
Shower.................................1 sip
(although this could be 2 if we want to shave/exfoliate or moisturise)
Dry ourselves......................1 sip [certain bits are very hard to dry without hurting ourselves]
Get dressed............................1 sip
Brush hair..............................1 sip – 2sips if drying and styling
Put make up on...................1 sip
Get downstairs again.............1 sip
oh dear, Monday morning, I have 1 sip left and I haven't even left my house or done anything different yet. These have all been used doing mundane tasks that we shouldn't even have to think about.
]
So, let`s assume the healthy person goes to work......2 sips. No I`ll be generous.....4 sips [the moving around, having lunch – not the stress]
They come home, make dinner and eat it..................1 sip
Watch TV/read a book/relax/etc. etc........................1 sip
Bath and bed...................................................1 sip – unless there are children or a partner [sex?]
So you have used 8 sips. You have 6 left over. Maybe you decided to go to the gym, play football, or a game of tennis.  Maybe you collected and fed the children, played with them; put them to bed having gone up and down the stairs several times. OR Maybe you went out for a few drinks. Maybe you are now very tired, a bit achy after a long day. You will STILL have some extra sips in reserve, and you will go to bed and sleep and when you wake up you will have another full cup for Tuesday morning.  Some may even have an overflowing cup tomorrow morning if you didn't use your spare 6 from Monday.
Now let's see what happens in the FMS/CFS/ME life......
We only have 1 sip left so we are in trouble. We are already hurting, exhausted, and our muscles are trembling. A lot of us will have a migraine. Most of us will have some degree of stiffness and joint pain. A lot of us will have blurry vision at this point, or Neuralgia, or tummy pains or dozens of other symptoms. Almost all of us will have already taken a cocktail of drugs to take the edge off our pain by this point. A lot of us will look fine, most of us will be doing chores that we really have no strength to do. A lot of us will be looking after children as well as trying to fit in some work so the bills get paid.
Oh no, I need a wee but I only have 1 sip! [If you are lucky]  
Hmmm I know I can borrow from tomorrows mug!
5 toilet trips(because we hold as long as possible to save our legs)................................5 sips
I can read my book for a bit................1 sip
make an important phone call...............1 sip
At this point we have already borrowed 6 sips from Tuesdays mug and a lot of us will be feeling like our brain is wrapped in cotton wool. We are thinking like intelligent beings but the words won`t come out right. We will forget simple things like if we are hot/cold as we can`t remember what it`s called. We feel like we haven't slept for days and days (possibly a lot of us haven't) yet we can't go back to sleep because the pain keeps us awake, and anyway, we don`t have enough "sips"
"Come on, don`t be lazy, stop winging and get on with it, everyone gets tired you know".
So it`s dinner time and we are starving.......
Cook dinner.......................1 sip(borrowed from Tuesday)
Eat dinner.........................1 sip(borrowed from Tuesday)
Wash up...........................1 sip(borrowed from Tuesday)
it's still early and we won't sleep because the pain is intense so watch TV?..............1 sip(borrowed from Tuesday)
A bath will ease our pain.........
Go upstairs.................1 sip(borrowed from Tuesday)
Undress.....................1 sip
bath..........................1 sip
dry..........................1 sip(all borrowed from Tuesday)
OOOOPS I have used all tomorrows (Tuesday's) sips and haven't even got dressed for bed yet!  
Get dressed............1 sip (borrowed from Wednesday)
Get into bed.............1 sip (borrowed from Wednesday)

So in summary, it is Monday and just getting through the day doing nothing special I have used all Tuesdays "sips" and 2 from Wednesday. This is how I explain why we have better days and worse days. On the better days we use too many sips. If we go out or do anything special or go to a medical appointment or anything "extra" we can "borrow sips" from another day BUT eventually they RUN OUT. This is when we have no reserves left and we "collapse" or "flare up"
So if you wonder why sometimes you see us shopping/in the pub/cinema/park looking very healthy, yet sometimes you only see our statuses saying how ill we feel, and you don`t understand how that can be, it will be because we have been "borrowing sips" for too long and need time to build them up again.

So if YOU know someone with ME/FIBROMYALGIA/CFS please recognise that we are NOT lazy/old/depressed/putting it on/weak or any other derogatory thing anyone has ever thought or said. When you ask us to do things, even the smallest things, remember you are asking us to sacrifice a sip we may not or probably don`t have. You are asking us to borrow even more sips from the coming days.
We ARE strong individual, a lot of us were high achievers before these illnesses struck, a lot of us were workaholics before our bodies let us down. Most of us do far more daily than should actually be physically possible with the level of pain/weakness we experience. And when we do things for you or spend some time with you it is because we love you, and are generous and strong enough to sacrifice our sips to try and keep you happy.
Original from:
Samantha Martinez  July 2010
Punctuation corrected and some acid removed as well as a couple of bits I felt missed out.  Just because we have these things wrong with us no one should assume we don't have children or jobs.  Some are trying to have/keep one or the other or even both!!!
Erika Weston January 2012