Healing The Unimaginable Free Pdf
Trinidad Baltzell
This Monday afternoon occurred just a few weeks after An Infinite Mind's 13th annual Healing Together Conference, which I had the honor to keynote. It was the first time I shared openly and publicly about my PARTs and their respective journeys and struggles in detail: everything from overcoming addictions to navigating multiple sexual orientations amongst the PARTs, as well as their friendships, fears, and the truth about the realities that come with living life as a multiple/plural.
I don't think people quite understand what that level of abuse does to a person. For years, I would use the term "traded" instead of "trafficked" in an effort to minimize the experience and the reality of what happened to me. I had zero concept of the reality that I was in fact being trafficked by my dad, who was also my Italian lover and my pimp. Those terms aren't attractive, but they are the truth.
Incest messes with your head. Thus, it messes with the concept of what love is. My dad manipulated the concept of love in his conquest for money, drugs, and jewelry. He robbed me of many things, but what he did not rob me of was my divine essence and ability to love. Yet it took me years to get in touch with that heartfelt, warm feeling. I had to work through anger and rage with my 13-year-old PART who fought for my life when my life was on the line.
Most, if not all, people living with DID, and my DID system included, have suffered years of pain and torment after enduring extreme childhood abuse. We are not crazy; we had crazy things happen to us. Yet here we are (the dissociative community) in society being told we are making our DID up. Providers in the mental health and medical fields continue to deny its existence. The media continues to portray the condition inaccurately in films. Therapists fear treating the condition due to a lack of knowledge and training or fear they may be harmed in some way as a result of their own internalized stigma. Those living with it fear they will lose their jobs, not be able to obtain a job, not be able to continue in higher education, or risk losing their friends and family. The stigma around this disorder continues to keep the truth silent. Meanwhile, those of us living with it pay the price by living in fear.
To circle back to the concept of love: Love is why I stand up to fear. I could not continue as a psychologist living with dissociative identities and not serve my fellow dissociatives on a global level. I serve from the love that is within my heart because if I can play a small role in helping someone else on their journey and it helps eliminate the prolonged pain as a result of a misunderstood diagnosis and healing process, then I must speak. I speak with courage but not without fear. I am here, and my PARTs want to do this, as much for the greater community as for my own DID system.
Disclaimer: The information shared in this post is not a substitute for therapy or any other form of professional mental health or medical care. It also does not constitute a doctor/patient relationship with Dr. Fletcher. The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only.
If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
[Left] The poor health that had hounded Zohra Aslam since childhood had culminated into a few dozen diseases and ailments. Disability and hopelessness had set in by the time she landed in hospital with stomach cancer.
For the better part of my life, I had been an extremely sick person. I was afflicted with migraines, constipation, chronic sinusitis, acid reflux, heartburn, fatigue, fainting, muscle weakness, nerve pain, vertigo, adrenal fatigue, and a host of neurological symptoms including forgetfulness and brain fog. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, celiac disease, and Lyme disease.
In my early thirties, I was barely eating. I lived on rushes of adrenaline from coffee. I started experienc-ing stomach pains and soon found out that an ulcer had put a hole through my stomach lining. The final straw was stomach cancer! I felt like I had been given a life sentence.
Soon after, I started developing other chronic illnesses at the age of 38: fatigue, fainting, muscle weakness, nerve pain, dizziness, adrenal fatigue, a host of neurological symptoms including vertigo, brain fog, forgetfulness, lack of focus, and Lyme Disease.
Since these symptoms are invisible to the naked eye, no one could tell that anything was wrong with me. Externally, I looked perfectly fine; meanwhile, inside, I felt as if I was dying. I was living a life of lies, pretending to be well around everyone in my life. I would push myself to continue going out, working, driving, and pushing myself to do all things that I had been doing previously.
We learn to accept what our doctors tell us, no questions asked. They said that my health conditions were due to my genes, but no one in my family has ever had cancer, so why was I the only one? I only knew of conventional treatments at the time, and I trusted my doctors to do what was best for me. I had seen over 40 conventional doctors and specialists up to this point, but no one had any answers and nor did they bother to look into the root cause of my rapidly deteriorating body.
It begins by not normalizing sickness; but rather by normalizing healthy and life-changing behaviors. It may mean we act differently from what is considered the norm in our society. It begins by understanding the root cause of our illnesses versus a focus on reducing symptoms. It is this shift in focus that allows us to truly heal.
I have come to realize that the root cause behind most chronic health problems is a combination of poor diet and lifestyle, pathogens, toxic heavy metals, pesticides, and other toxins and radiation. We are exposed to so much of these as the world continues to get more toxic from air fresheners, candles, perfumes, tap water, chemicals, and toxins in our food and clothing.
In my own journey, I was ready to make the necessary changes and give up anything not beneficial for my body. I was ready to do whatever it took even for the slightest of improvement. I knew that there had to be a way to get my life back, one small step at a time. I started to become my own healing expert and to find my own answers. I took baby steps, and each step led me closer to healing from my many chronic illnesses.
My advice to others would be to start bringing in more fruits and vegetables to their diet first, before removing anything. It is difficult for people to remove foods that they have long been addicted to. Start by making one change, whether it is bringing in a daily green juice or smoothie, and build consistency and a routine with that one change for a few weeks. Then make another change, replace one of your other meals with a salad three times a week.
When you begin to bring in other healing foods, especially glucose and mineral salts, your body will start letting go of other food addictions and crave the glucose and mineral salts since that is what our brain thrives on.
After almost a year and a half of being on guided anti-viral protocols, eating nourishing foods, and staying off foods that were feeding viruses in my body, I slowly began to see moments of relief. I was, once again, able to do my daily tasks such as cooking and bathing without help, and standing up for longer periods of time. Finally, something was working and I was beginning to thrive. I started to build faith and hope again after a long time.
Along with changing my diet, limiting my exposure to toxic chemicals, stabilizing my blood sugar, and strengthening my adrenals, I have also applied daily meditations, EFT Tapping, Dynamic Neural Retraining System, daily gratitude, prayer, rest, sunshine, nature, lightheartedness, affirmations, breathing techniques, reading, and daily grounding practices to calm my nervous system.
I still have some symptoms that I am healing from, but I have no doubt that I can and will heal. It took me 40+ years to develop all these symptoms, so it will take some time to reverse the damage. Healing is not a quick fix, nor is it linear. Healing involves discomfort, but so does not healing. Over time, not healing is always more painful.
My goal is to become strong enough to be able to ski again, train for long bike rides, and go on long hiking adventures. Such ambitious physical goals were unthinkable just a couple of years back when I thought my life was over!
Healing the Unimaginable: Treating Ritual Abuse and Mind Control is a practical, task-oriented, instructional manual designed to help therapists provide effective treatment for survivors of these most extreme forms of child abuse and mental manipulation.
'If you do not have a patient who has gone through these experiences, this is initially a deeply frightening book, as well as a crucial book. It is not a book that soft-soaps the reader along the grades of obscene hierarchy between "mild" trauma and major. It goes straight to the jugular of the worst realities that exist, and is not trying to apologize for, or justify, their existence. Enough research has been carried out; enough survivors have come forward with their unique constellations of physical and mental pain. Alison Miller is writing for those who know what exists and want and need help in understanding it further.'
- Valerie Sinason, Director of the Clinic for Dissociative Studies, from the Foreword
'In Healing the Unimaginable, Dr Alison Miller provides you with the information, tools, and reassurance that you need in order to treat this challenging population with confidence and skill. She demystifies the methods used by perpetrator groups to create programming and to ensure the victims' belief in their abusers' omnipotence. She breaks down this complicated topic into its manageable parts, and, most importantly, provides what therapists always really want in their training manuals: a step by step "how-to" guide. Dr Miller has been doing this work for many years, and it shows. This is the book we all have been waiting for. It shines a much needed, long overdue, and perfectly designed light on a form of abuse that has been protected by darkness for too long.'
- E. Sue Blume, LCSW, author of Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and its Aftereffects in Women
'At last, a much needed contemporary exposition of the treatment of the sequelae of ritual
abuse and mind control. Dr Miller has provided a systematic and demystifying guide for therapists who work with this challenging population.'
- Sandra Paulsen, PhD, author of Looking Through the Eyes: An Illustrated Guide for EMDR Therapists and Their Clients
'A perfect balance between depth, readability, and extensive hands-on experience, Healing the Unimaginable gently leads the reader through the darkest and largely unexplored areas of man-made trauma: Ritual Abuse and Mind Control. While many therapists think it unlikely that they will ever come across a survivor of such trauma, these cases are, in fact, less rare than one would like to believe; and recognizing the language of such survivors is thus our duty of care. This is an excellent handbook, to be read, re-read, and consulted many times over.'
- Adah Sachs, Consultant Psychotherapist, Clinic for Dissociative Studies, co-author of Forensic Aspects of Dissociative Identity Disorder