NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING helps lower divorce rates

[antony mahendran]

 
The best kept secret in the Church today is Natural Family Planning. This is perhaps because progressive Catholics, who control most of the Church's teaching apparatus, have never focused on it. They think it part of the baggage of Humanae Vitae, a document they condemn out of hand without really pondering its contents.

But there are married Catholic couples who know better. My wife and I are among them. If the Church tomorrow were to okay artificial contraception (which won't happen), we would not even consider giving up NFP.

NFP is not "Catholic birth control". Nor is it the old rythmn method, which was the only way of spacing births when Humanae Vitae appeared. It is a method whereby a couple who have a good reason to wait for their next child exercise restraint during the wife's fertile period, which is determined by a few simple symptoms.

The best thing about NFP is that you avoid the trap of contraception. When you use the pill or the diaphram, you are, in effect, saying to your spouse, "In this, the most intimate act of our marriage, I am going to give myself to you, but only up to a point." It is a serious limitation on the gift of self which is at the heart of marriage.

Sex is a very deep thing, and there's a bigger difference than might be supposed between contraceptive and non-contraceptive sex, between sex which is anti-procreative and sex which is non-procreative. Two statistics tell the whole story: the divorce rate among couples who use NFP is under three percent, while the divorce rate among couples who use contraceptives is well over 50 percent.

When the Pill was introduced in the early sixties, it was touted as a great boon to marriage. The divorce rate, which then stood at 25 percent and had been rising very slowly, exploded until finally levelling off in the early seventies.

We live in an culture which prizes natural food and natural fibers. Why not natural sex? NFP is free (once you buy your thermometer and charts), and it's about 99 percent effective, the same as the Pill. It should be stressed, moreover, that the more effective an artificial contraceptive is, the more health side-effects there are.

A consistent feminist ought to resent the pill, which turns the wife into a chemistry set for the sake of sex on demand. John Paul II wrote a profound book about sex in 1959 called Love and Responsibility. In it, he makes an airtight case that in subtle and not so subtle ways contraception turns spouses into objects. And since it's easy to tire of an object, as opposed to a person, the pill can easily be an ingredient of an unhappy marriage.

It may be that half the divorce and separation which occurs today can be attributed to the fact that couples in the depths of their being are bored with contraceptive sex. Abstinence, it has been said, is the best aphrodisiac. There is nothing like periodic restraint to keep a couple's sex life interesting.

NFP is like going on a honeymoon every month, which is why even non-Catholics use it and don't understand why more couples aren't in on it.

NFP also gives the peace of mind that comes from living in accord with the will of God. Yes, it can be difficult, which is why it's not popular with people who think Christianity is fine so long as it doesn't make demands.

The paradox, of course, is that the rewards of NFP easily outweigh the sacrifices. Ask any couple who uses it.

Those who think that the Church's teaching about artificial contraception is harsh and arbitrary ought to consider a simple principle taught by Aquinas: God is only offended by those acts which are not for man's own good.

Unfortunately, a widely used Catholic marriage preparation manual, Joseph M. Champlin's Together for life, misses this point entirely. In fact, Champlin's booklet is very deft at fudging the whole issue of Humanae Vitae and seriously distorts what the Church teaches about conscience formation. Nowhere does it say that contraception is wrong, period. Instead, it tells the couple to "search for God's light.... then decide what is the best course to follow."

But this is to surrender the whole citadel of the Church, which is perhaps the intention. A young Catholic couple ought to be told where God's light is to be found--in the teachings of the ordinary magisterium.

There is no excuse for a chancery office approving Fr. Champlin's exercise in disinformation. It's true that until now there were no other marriage preparation books with the wedding service readings, a feature that couples find useful.

But that lack has been remedied. There are now two much better books with the scripture readings: John Kippley's MARRIAGE IS FOR KEEPS and James Socias's MARRIAGE IS LOVE FOR EVER. The first is available from the Foundation for the Family, Inc., P. O. Box 111184, Cincinnati, OH 45211; the Socias book can be ordered from Scepter Publishers, 20 Nassau Street, Princeton, NJ 08542.

There has been a serious failure of nerve in the American Church on this whole issue. Because of ideology or sheer laziness, Catholic catechism and Pre-Cana programs are not getting out the message that NFP makes happier marriages. It's time for Catholic educators to sit down and read prayerfully Humanae Vitae. It has turned out to be one of the prophetic documents of our age.

Janet Smith, who teaches at the University of Dallas, has done an extraordinary job in her books and lectures explaining to Catholics why Humanae Vitae was right. Her audio tape, "Contraception: Why Not?" is available at a low price from One More Soul, 616 Five Oaks Avenue, Dayton, OH 45406 (tel. 800- 307-7685).

George Sim Johnston

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