Ron is gone

[Janet DeMeo]

Dear family and friends,

Ron passed away about 3 AM today at Morristown Hospital with Michael, Christopher and me at his side. He was comfortable and in no pain. Arrangements will be made at Bailey's Funeral Home in Mendham, but there are no firm details yet. We are considering a Friday visitation with a Saturday burial, but need to determine if the priest will be available on that date.

I will email again once the details are confirmed.

With much gratitude and affection,

Janet

-----Original Message-----
From: Janet DeMeo <jdeme...@aol.com>
To: barattasales <baratt...@gmail.com>; angelof86 <ange...@aol.com>; atkj152 <atk...@optonline.net>; garybobko <gary...@yahoo.com>; pbob115 <pbo...@yahoo.com>; sblanchet <sbla...@csrcs.ca>; pbiancolli1 <pbian...@comcast.net>; rrb27 <rr...@cornell.edu>; domusaureus <domus...@ymail.com>; DD1002 <DD1...@verizon.net>; dino.demeo <dino....@gmail.com>; jd1002 <jd1...@verizon.net>; agrippa2012 <agrip...@yahoo.com>; thomas.demeo <thomas...@commerzbank.com>; luannfalletta <luannf...@yahoo.com>; richardaf <rich...@singerislandcommunications.com>; dee877 <dee...@aol.com>; r.folbrecht <r.fol...@pkgdev.com>; ma52557 <ma5...@aol.com>; scottwhain <scott...@aol.com>; susandhain <susan...@aol.com>; mara.hellman <mara.h...@gmail.com>; paul.hennessey <paul.he...@cpc.com>; 627HOW <627...@msn.com>; Rundgrenrocks <Rundgr...@aol.com>; JanJ12 <Jan...@aol.com>; Kvillano <Kvil...@verizon.net>; euge <eu...@fatherlasch.com>; redsox2016 <redso...@optimum.net>; jleboeuf <jleb...@ptd.net>; lewlexus <lewl...@yahoo.com>; drpaullew <drpa...@hotmail.com>; pslooney <pslo...@aol.com>; clota <cl...@lotacpa.com>; richard.mariani <richard...@odnss.com>; SUPER1697 <SUPE...@aol.com>; jdm <j...@spsk.com>; mdivone <mdi...@nyfllaw.com>; martymeyer11 <martym...@yahoo.com>; lovetheredsox <loveth...@comcast.net>; dormaxwell <dorma...@gmail.com>; snelson <sne...@lapineinc.com>; Ken Nilssen <k...@nilssendesign.com>; Gina Peter <gi...@pentek.com>; Al & Fran Petracco <chopm...@aol.com>; Andrea Piscopo <andreap...@gmail.com>; Jim Pohlman <jimpoh...@gmail.com>; Laura Polos <lpo...@gmail.com>; Joe Pretto <sal...@netzero.net>; Ted Prusik <te...@temptimecorp.com>; Wayne Pusillo <wa...@pusillo.com>; Bob Riker <bri...@uniqueconsultingnj.com>; ruthdenatale <ruthde...@gmail.com>; Rickey Saez <rick...@gmail.com>; Corby Salek <co...@corbyelectric.com>; John Samman <jsa...@optonline.net>; Len Sichel <lens...@yahoo.com>; John Simone <JOHN_...@COLPAL.COM>; Paul Slowey <psl...@csrcs.ca>; Ron Sosna <vac...@aol.com>; Ron Striano <Sunshi...@aol.com>; Arthur Tiger <ate...@aol.com>; Jane Tiger <jrt...@gmail.com>; Marie Tilton <marie...@gmail.com>; Tina Torbick <ti...@etess.com>; Lisa Vanderbeek <auntsi...@yahoo.com>; Rob (Richard) Vanderbeek <rvand...@goldinassociates.com>; Jim Wolf <wolf...@comcast.net>; Mary Anne Dwyer <madwyerfromt...@gmail.com>; Virginia Dzirko <vj...@aol.com>; Kathy DeVita <kde...@hotmail.com>; Bob Diffin <mendham...@aol.com>; Lynda Burns <rmb.ass...@comcast.net>; Joni Reid <joni...@aol.com>; Brian Cartwright <b.cart...@sympatico.ca>; Alyssa Lindsey Ceto <alin...@csrcs.ca>
Cc: Chris DeMeo <chris....@gmail.com>; Michael DeMeo <mike....@gmail.com>; Luz DeMeo <luzd...@gmail.com>
Sent: Sun, Oct 16, 2016 11:21 pm
Subject: Ron back in the hospital

Dear family and friends,

Once again so much has happened in just seven days.  Ron never made it to his radiation treatment on Monday, 10/10, as he had a rapid heart beat, low oxygen level, and could not be awakened after eating his breakfast. He finally opened his eyes at 7 PM and avoided a trip to the emergency room. 

Tuesday he went for treatment and was able to sit in a wheelchair to watch an entertainer at the nursing home. On Wednesday, he had a fever, increased heart rate, and fell asleep after breakfast in the ambulance transport going to Sloan for radiation. The technicians were able to prop him up for the treatment, although he never awakened. He remained asleep the entire day. When these symptoms persisted Thursday morning, he was taken to the emergency room at Morristown Hospital.

He was admitted to the oncology wing that evening to determine whether an infection might be causing these symptoms. He has a private room here with an extremely attentive hospital staff. Unfortunately, despite their best efforts, Ron's low grade fever and rapid heart beat persist, in addition to other imbalances in his blood. A severe bleed he developed Friday frightened us. It may have been due to the infusion of the biologic, Avastin, which he had received the previous week. His right side already had a weakness, but is now paralyzed. His left side now also displays weakness. The firm grip which squeezed our hands is not even able to close over them. 

Chris arrived Monday when Ron was doing so poorly. On Friday, the doctor suggested that Michael make the trip from Connecticut since Ron's condition was quite tenuous. Except for a few brief moments today, Ron has continued to sleep since Wednesday morning. As Ron did not want extreme measures taken to gain just a momentary extension of his life, we will talk to representatives from hospice tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, a steady stream of relatives and friends are visiting. We have been told that conversation in the room is good for Ron, so we have tried to keep it lively! I have slept on a pull out couch in his room since Friday. Although it is difficult to sleep in a hospital with continuous interruptions by the staff coming into the room, I would not be able to sleep at all if I were home. I want to remain here to give him some reassurance by talking to him and holding his hand.

As Ron only had the brain biopsy August 29, it is hard to believe how fast everything has happened. We are in God's hands and ask for your continued prayers to help us get through this.

With much gratitude and affection,

Janet

Sent from my iPad

On Oct 9, 2016, at 12:50 AM, Janet DeMeo <jdeme...@aol.com> wrote:

Dear family and friends,

After spending eight days in Morristown hospital, Ron was transferred early Wednesday evening, October 5, to the Care One nursing home just down the street from the hospital. Apparently the blood in his urine was the result of a kidney stone that had passed to his bladder and all of the testing confirmed that he had not suffered a stroke. However Ron is in a worse condition than when he entered the hospital. The right side of his body is so weak that he cannot lift his arm, move his leg, or even hold a pen to sign his name. He is unable to feed himself and now requires his food to be cut into very small pieces to make it easier for him to swallow. He speaks through his eyes and his facial expressions because his speech is unintelligible and barely a whisper. Sometimes he moves his mouth and there is absolutely no sound at all. When I arrived to visit him the morning after he had been admitted, the hospital had already inserted a catheter. His confusion caused him to frequently tug at this foreign object, trying to remove it. It was removed after six days, but he now has great pain when he urinates and is now wearing diapers. 

Although he was classified as a high fall risk at the hospital, he was left unattended on a stretcher in a hallway while waiting for tests the morning after his arrival. He managed to fall off the stretcher onto the hard hospital floor. Since then he has been experiencing pain in his left hip. The report of the x-ray taken at the hospital states that there is no fracture, however the nursing home will be ordering another x-ray because he still has pain. 

He finally resumed his chemo pill on Wednesday night and an ambulance took him on Thursday morning back to Sloan for radiation treatment number two. (There are 30 scheduled radiation treatments Monday through Friday and 42 chemo pills which he takes every night.) He had to remain on a stretcher the whole time, except for when they had to set him up for radiation on the narrow table. It took a team of technicians and the radiation oncologist to succeed in getting Ron to position and hold his chin properly in order for them to treat him. At this visit, I gave Sloan the CD of Ron's MRI that was taken at Morristown hospital. Within hours I received a phone call from the nurse of the neuro oncologist at Sloan. Upon comparing the image of the new MRI with the one they had, they were very concerned about the advancing tumors. They requested that we return tomorrow for a new treatment after his radiation. The treatment was an infusion of a biologic called Avastin. Technically, this is not a chemotherapy drug because it is not made from chemicals. It is unusual for Avastin to be used so early in the treatment plan, however Ron's tumors are advancing too quickly for them to wait. Everyone who saw Ron at Sloan either Thursday or Friday could not believe the change in him from when they had seen him the previous week. Because of his poor physical condition, he could only be treated on a stretcher. This meant he was on the stretcher for 5 1/2 hours that day. The Neuro oncologist will repeat the treatment with Avastin in two weeks, but is so concerned that he wants to hear from me next week to report on Ron's condition. He is hopeful that this might shrink the tumor that is causing the weakness on Ron's right side.

We are lucky that Ron has a private room at the Care One nursing home which is a beautiful modern facility with a good reputation. However no one there is familiar with the administration of his chemo pill. It has to follow a specific protocol which I am unwilling to risk to chance. It is additionally challenging because the nursing staff changes, so I am constantly having to repeat the instructions. Therefore, I refuse to leave until his chemo pill has been given at night and am exhausted by the time I get home. I was also warned by the Neuro oncologist that the Avastin will require additional changes that need to take place at the nursing home. His blood pressure may spike, he needs to be constantly moved to avoid pressure sores, and he cannot be shaved with a razor blade. After carefully informing the nurse on duty last night, I found that he had been shaved with a razor this morning. He also had not been moved for several hours. For this reason, I have to spend the entire day with him monitoring his care, being his advocate, and most importantly, his constant companion. The food there is awful. So prepared foods I am receiving have really come in handy to feed both of us.

So much has happened so fast that I have not been able to notify you of his rapidly changing situation. Once again, please understand that I am unable to respond to your messages, but enjoy hearing from you. I continue to share your concern, support, and love with Ron. It is through God's graces that I can manage what I am doing. Please continue your prayers for all of us.

With much gratitude and love,

Janet

Sent from my iPad

On Oct 2, 2016, at 12:02 PM, Janet DeMeo <jdeme...@aol.com> wrote:

Darn modern technology! Based upon some of the replies that I am beginning to receive I can tell that part of my message wasn't saved between drafts.

We are blessed to have had the continued help of our sons, Michael and Chris. Additionally cousins Anthony (from Colorado) and Gary (from Long Island) are arriving to help in the coming days. This will allow me a little time to set up the flow of aides that I will be needing. However, there is nothing like family to provide the comfort that an aide cannot.

Thanks again to all of you!

Janet

Sent from my iPad

On Oct 2, 2016, at 12:23 AM, Janet DeMeo <jdeme...@aol.com> wrote:

Dear Family and Friends,

First of all, thank you for all of your phone calls, cards, prepared meals, text messages, visits and most importantly prayers of support. Ron started his chemo pill, Temodar, Monday night. When he urinated that night, it was the color of cranberry juice. Tuesday morning, Sloan confirmed that this was not a side effect of the drug, but they would do lab work on him when he arrived for his first radiation treatment that day. The Occupational Therapist came Tuesday morning and was concerned about his mouth which was slightly downturned and the difficulty he had grasping with his right hand. His right leg had already been dragging. She reported this to Sloan who called us while we were in the car Wednesday morning telling us to report to our local ER.

We arrived to Morristown Hospital at 10:30 AM. A CT scan was performed of his head and abdomen. It was determined that he had a kidney stone in his bladder. Further tests were ordered and he was admitted. They are trying to rule out a stroke, which has not yet been confirmed. His speech is soft, frequently unintelligible and confused. He is not able to support his weight and is very unbalanced.

I now have a hospital bed at home, in addition to the wheel chair, but will need additional equipment to manage him at home. The medical professionals would prefer to have him go to a rehab facility, but that would interrupt his chemotherapy and radiation treatments which were already stopped this week. I will have to pay close attention to his therapists at home so that I will be able to continue his exercises in between visits.

We are looking forward to a discharge from the hospital on Monday, then resuming daily visits to Sloan for treatment. It will definitely be a challenge getting him out of the bed, into a wheelchair, and into the car for his appointments, then doing it In reverse when we return.

Please excuse me for not responding to your individual messages. I am truly touched by each of your responses, as they help to give me strength. We are both so well loved by so many; you all help to ease the burden.

With much gratitude and love,
Janet


Sent from my iPad

[Janet DeMeo]

Here are the arrangements for Ron:

Bailey Funeral Home

http://baileyfuneralhomes.com/tribute/details/919/Ronald-DeMeo/obituary.html#tribute-start

Visitation:

2:00 pm - 4:00 pm Friday, October 21, 2016

6:00 pm - 9:00 pm Friday, October 21, 2016

Bailey Funeral Home

8 Hilltop Rd.

Mendham, New Jersey, United States

07945

Mass

10:00 am Saturday, October 22, 2016

St. Joseph Church

W. Main St.

Mendham, New Jersey, United States

07945

We welcome your presence.

Janet

[Janet DeMeo]

Dear family and friends,

Ron passed away peacefully this morning about 3 AM at Morristown Hospital. Michael, Christopher and I were at his side.

I will notify you with details on the arrangements once the plans have been made.

Warmly,

Janet

Sent from my iPad

[Janet DeMeo]

Dear family and friends,

Thank you all for your expressions of sympathy. The boys and I are taking it one day at a time. As they have also said, sometimes just one hour at a time. 

So many of you related wonderful stories to us, or shared such with each other. In order to help us recall these anecdotes, it would be much appreciated if you could jot it down in an email to help us keep Ron's memory alive. I would like to print these recollections in a binder to remind us of the legacy he left.

It was amazing for us to hear how far-reaching his influence had spread. If you know someone who is not on this email list (so many people had been notified by you, not me), I would appreciate your encouraging them to do the same. It would be such a joy to go back and read the treasure of memories from each of you.

Thank you again for accompanying me on this difficult journey and for your continued support as I try and forge a new path for the future.

With much love and appreciation,

Janet

-----Original Message-----
From: Janet DeMeo <jdeme...@aol.com>
To: barattasales <baratt...@gmail.com>; angelof86 <ange...@aol.com>; atkj152 <atk...@optonline.net>; garybobko <gary...@yahoo.com>; pbob115 <pbo...@yahoo.com>; sblanchet <sbla...@csrcs.ca>; pbiancolli1 <pbian...@comcast.net>; rrb27 <rr...@cornell.edu>; domusaureus <domus...@ymail.com>; DD1002 <DD1...@verizon.net>; dino.demeo <dino....@gmail.com>; jd1002 <jd1...@verizon.net>; agrippa2012 <agrip...@yahoo.com>; thomas.demeo <thomas...@commerzbank.com>; luannfalletta <luannf...@yahoo.com>; richardaf <rich...@singerislandcommunications.com>; dee877 <dee...@aol.com>; r.folbrecht <r.fol...@pkgdev.com>; ma52557 <ma5...@aol.com>; scottwhain <scott...@aol.com>; susandhain <susan...@aol.com>; mara.hellman <mara.h...@gmail.com>; paul.hennessey <paul.he...@cpc.com>; 627HOW <627...@msn.com>; Rundgrenrocks <Rundgr...@aol.com>; JanJ12 <Jan...@aol.com>; Kvillano <Kvil...@verizon.net>; euge <eu...@fatherlasch.com>; redsox2016 <redso...@optimum.net>; jleboeuf <jleb...@ptd.net>; lewlexus <lewl...@yahoo.com>; drpaullew <drpa...@hotmail.com>; pslooney <pslo...@aol.com>; clota <cl...@lotacpa.com>; richard.mariani <richard...@odnss.com>; SUPER1697 <SUPE...@aol.com>; jdm <j...@spsk.com>; mdivone <mdi...@nyfllaw.com>; martymeyer11 <martym...@yahoo.com>; lovetheredsox <loveth...@comcast.net>; dormaxwell <dorma...@gmail.com>; snelson <sne...@lapineinc.com>; Ken Nilssen <k...@nilssendesign.com>; Gina Peter <gi...@pentek.com>; Al & Fran Petracco <chopm...@aol.com>; Andrea Piscopo <andreap...@gmail.com>; Jim Pohlman <jimpoh...@gmail.com>; Laura Polos <lpo...@gmail.com>; Joe Pretto <sal...@netzero.net>; Ted Prusik <te...@temptimecorp.com>; Wayne Pusillo <wa...@pusillo.com>; Bob Riker <bri...@uniqueconsultingnj.com>; ruthdenatale <ruthde...@gmail.com>; Rickey Saez <rick...@gmail.com>; Corby Salek <co...@corbyelectric.com>; John Samman <jsa...@optonline.net>; Len Sichel <lens...@yahoo.com>; John Simone <JOHN_...@COLPAL.COM>; Paul Slowey <psl...@csrcs.ca>; Ron Sosna <vac...@aol.com>; Ron Striano <Sunshi...@aol.com>; Arthur Tiger <ate...@aol.com>; Jane Tiger <jrt...@gmail.com>; Marie Tilton <marie...@gmail.com>; Tina Torbick <ti...@etess.com>; Lisa Vanderbeek <auntsi...@yahoo.com>; Rob (Richard) Vanderbeek <rvand...@goldinassociates.com>; Jim Wolf <wolf...@comcast.net>; Mary Anne Dwyer <madwyerfromt...@gmail.com>; Virginia Dzirko <vj...@aol.com>; Kathy DeVita <kde...@hotmail.com>; Bob Diffin <mendham...@aol.com>; Lynda Burns <rmb.ass...@comcast.net>; Joni Reid <joni...@aol.com>; Brian Cartwright <b.cart...@sympatico.ca>; Alyssa Lindsey Ceto <alin...@csrcs.ca>; cancerbarbies <cancer...@googlegroups.com>; Michelle.horowitz <Michelle...@atlantichealth.org>
Cc: Chris DeMeo <chris....@gmail.com>; Michael DeMeo <mike....@gmail.com>; Luz DeMeo <luzd...@gmail.com>
Sent: Wed, Oct 19, 2016 4:40 am
Subject: Ron is gone