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Christmas cracker query

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Andrew Haylett

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Dec 30, 2009, 6:40:13 AM12/30/09
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(Hmm, title of this post is an inadvertent tongue-twister.)

A friend found the item pictured in the link below in a Christmas
cracker (an upmarket one from Morrisons). The picture is poor (my
phone's camera has no auto-focus), but the modus operandi is that when
the handles are squeezed together as for a pair of scissors, the two
parts of the 'jaw' are brought together. Both halves of the jaw are
curved, about 3cm long in total, and the lower half has a kind of
spongy padding on it which gets squeezed in the jaw when closed.

Any ideas? Apparently it didn't come with instructions...

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/4lynQReuQUEicMglsDrk3g?feat=directlink

Ben C

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Dec 30, 2009, 6:46:54 AM12/30/09
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It's a gadget for prising someone's eye open so you can force them to
watch violent and disturbing images while making them listen to Beethoven.

The Hemulen

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Dec 30, 2009, 6:51:35 AM12/30/09
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Both halves of the jaw are
>> curved, about 3cm long in total, and the lower half has a kind of
>> spongy padding on it which gets squeezed in the jaw when closed.
>>
>> Any ideas? Apparently it didn't come with instructions...
>>
>> http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/4lynQReuQUEicMglsDrk3g?feat=directlink
>
> It's a gadget for prising someone's eye open so you can force them to
> watch violent and disturbing images while making them listen to Beethoven.

It looks a bit like one of those eyelash thingies that girls use. Not sure
if it straightens, curves or whatever but not far removed from the 2nd
posters idea!

Would anyone would risk a 'cracker' gift device in such a delicate area?


Roland Perry

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Dec 30, 2009, 6:54:22 AM12/30/09
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In message
<1b3a71ea-b1a0-457c...@k19g2000yqc.googlegroups.com>, at
03:40:13 on Wed, 30 Dec 2009, Andrew Haylett <hay...@gmail.com>
remarked:

It's an eyelash curler.
--
Roland Perry

Andrew Haylett

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Dec 30, 2009, 7:05:15 AM12/30/09
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On 30 Dec, 11:54, Roland Perry <rol...@perry.co.uk> wrote:
> In message
> <1b3a71ea-b1a0-457c-be56-fe3587c91...@k19g2000yqc.googlegroups.com>, at
> 03:40:13 on Wed, 30 Dec 2009, Andrew Haylett <hayl...@gmail.com>
> remarked:

>
> >A friend found the item pictured in the link below in a Christmas
> >cracker (an upmarket one from Morrisons).  The picture is poor (my
> >phone's camera has no auto-focus), but the modus operandi is that when
> >the handles are squeezed together as for a pair of scissors, the two
> >parts of the 'jaw' are brought together.  Both halves of the jaw are
> >curved, about 3cm long in total, and the lower half has a kind of
> >spongy padding on it which gets squeezed in the jaw when closed.
>
> >Any ideas?  Apparently it didn't come with instructions...
>
> >http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/4lynQReuQUEicMglsDrk3g?feat=di...

>
> It's an eyelash curler.

So it is. Thank you! I had never seen one before, but now even know
how to use one (courtesy of Youtube) though have no intention of doing
so. I guess it's at least marginally less intrusive than laser eye
surgery.

Jon Green

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Dec 30, 2009, 9:23:35 AM12/30/09
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DIY vasectomy clamp. It's only good for holding the vas; don't use it
as a haemostat.

Jon
--
SPAM BLOCK IN USE! To reply in email, replace 'deadspam'
with 'green-lines'.

Jules

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Dec 30, 2009, 10:25:45 AM12/30/09
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On Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:40:13 -0800, Andrew Haylett wrote:

> (Hmm, title of this post is an inadvertent tongue-twister.)
>
> A friend found the item pictured in the link below in a Christmas
> cracker (an upmarket one from Morrisons).

Maybe it belonged to the torture specialist at the sweat-shop where they
make the crackers, and fell into yours by accident?


magwitch

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Dec 30, 2009, 1:08:27 PM12/30/09
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Eyelash curlers.

Carefully manoeuvre your upper set of lashes between the jaws and then
close. Keep clamped shut for about 15 seconds and then release and your
lashes will be curled up and look thicker.

Apply mascara quickly to preserve the curl. :-)

magwitch

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Dec 30, 2009, 1:11:18 PM12/30/09
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One of my nieces jogged me when I was using my eyelash curlers -
resulting in about 30% of my eylashes being ripped out... I'll never
forget so take care chaps.

Brian Watson

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Dec 31, 2009, 6:43:25 AM12/31/09
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Jon Green wrote:

> DIY vasectomy clamp. It's only good for holding the vas; don't use it
> as a haemostat.

So; "knackers" not "crackers" then?

--
Brian
"Fight like the Devil, die like a gentleman."
www.imagebus.co.uk/shop


Brian Watson

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Dec 31, 2009, 6:44:58 AM12/31/09
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magwitch wrote:

> Carefully manoeuvre your upper set of lashes between the jaws and then
> close. Keep clamped shut for about 15 seconds and then release and
> your lashes will be curled up and look thicker.

Get the device upside down and your lashes will be curled down and YOU will
look thicker.

HTH.

Message has been deleted

Jon Green

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Dec 31, 2009, 7:22:23 PM12/31/09
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On 31/12/2009 12:34, Brian Morrison wrote:

> On Wed, 30 Dec 2009 14:23:35 +0000
> Jon Green<jo...@deadspam.com> wrote:
>
>> DIY vasectomy clamp. It's only good for holding the vas; don't use it
>> as a haemostat.
>
> Are you suggesting simultaneously severing the vas using the teeth?
> Your own, rather than someone else's....

Depends how sharp the dentures are, I guess. Although the better option
would be the kids' safety (round-ended) scissors, helpfully supplied in
another cracker.

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