Anand Hudli
मा भूत्तस्या मनःपीडा मातृदेवोऽसि रे यदि॥१॥
न ब्रूयात्कटुशब्दान् तु जनन्यै तव रे तदा।
समाहितमनो भूत्वा शृणु मे वचनं सुत॥२॥
नहि खादामि शाकानि भोजनं न गृहे मम।
मार्गपार्श्वस्थखाद्यं मे रोचत इति मा वद॥३॥
धूमपानदुराचारः प्रशंसनीय एव हि ।
निष्कासितोऽस्मि शालाया इति ब्रूयान्न मातरम्॥४॥
न धनान्यर्जयामीति न विवाहो भवेदिति।
संन्यासं स्वीकरोमीति परुषं ब्रूहि मा सुत॥५॥
Siddharth Wakankar
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "भारतीयविद्वत्परिषत्" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to bvparishat+...@googlegroups.com.
To post to this group, send email to bvpar...@googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/bvparishat/aef35bbe-7976-4e7e-a0da-726bff155cb5%40googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
Anand Hudli
On Sunday, May 12, 2019 at 2:35:54 PM UTC+5:30, Siddharth Wakankar wrote:
Very good and apt advice to the son of modern times.Pl. continue your poetic exercise.Best luck for the budding poet in you.Prof. Siddharth Y Wakankar.Vadodara.9427339942.
On Sun 12 May, 2019, 9:56 AM Anand Hudli, <ahu...@gmail.com> wrote:
--In tune with contemporary culture and humor, here is one of my first attempts to write semi-humorous poetry in Sanskrit. Any mistakes may be pointed out so that I may learn from them.मात्रे दद्यान्न दुःखं हि मातॄणां सुदिने सुतः।
मा भूत्तस्या मनःपीडा मातृदेवोऽसि रे यदि॥१॥
न ब्रूयात्कटुशब्दान् तु जनन्यै तव रे तदा।
समाहितमनो भूत्वा शृणु मे वचनं सुत॥२॥
नहि खादामि शाकानि भोजनं न गृहे मम।
मार्गपार्श्वस्थखाद्यं मे रोचत इति मा वद॥३॥
धूमपानदुराचारः प्रशंसनीय एव हि ।
निष्कासितोऽस्मि शालाया इति ब्रूयान्न मातरम्॥४॥
न धनान्यर्जयामीति न विवाहो भवेदिति।
संन्यासं स्वीकरोमीति परुषं ब्रूहि मा सुत॥५॥Anand
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "भारतीयविद्वत्परिषत्" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to bvpar...@googlegroups.com.
Kesava Tadipatri
Very good attempt and by God’s grace, keep it up.
Since you asked for some suggestions, if you don’t mind, I would like to say the following.
Any poetry must have a spontaneous and amooth flow and there should not be any sign of groping for words. There should be some shabdAlankaras like anuprAsa or alliteration and some arthAlankAras like upamAlankAra or simile, if some peotic beauty is desired.
Any instruction should start with some words that draw the attention Also why should this instruction be only for son? Why not for daughter also?
If the father is instructing his offspring, why madhyama purusha (second person) usage “मातृदेवोऽसि”(You are mother goddess)?
“ब्रूयात्” is wishful thinking. “ब्रूहि” is better word, which is instruction. Thus “मा ब्रूहि” goes much better than “न ब्रूयात्।”.
Needless repetition can be avoided - like - “ददान्न दुःखं” and “मा भूत्तस्या मनःपीडा” are same.
If the son says that “smoking is praiseworthy”, why would he call it durAchAra? If father says it is durAchAra, then why would he say “prashamsanIya”. Thus these two wrods can not go together at all.
If they are father’s words, then something like “धूम्रपानदुराचारं दुःखदं रोगदायकं।”. If they are son or daughter’s words - “ धूम्रपानं सुखप्रायं त्राणदम् पार्षदो।पि मे।”.
मातॄणाम् सुदिन is a true translation for “Mother’s day”. More natural will be “”मातृस्मारकदिनम्।”. Further such good behavior is imperative not just on Mother’s day, but on all days. So, the word “स्मारक” signifies that the reminding happens on that day, but behavior is needed on all days.
For one who wants way-side foods, smoking and all kinds of things, where is the question of sannyAsa?
“जनन्यै” is in chaturthI vibhakti. It should be dvitIyA l- like जननीं. शालायां is in saptamI vibhakti. It should be in paMchamI vibhakti - शालायाः.
“तदा” is not proper as harsh words should never be spoken. so “कदापि” is proper. “तु” and “हि” are not just fillers, They are very significant and have to be used cautiously.
It can start like this -
(Note by splitting “वत्स + अद्य”, it applies to the son. By splitting “वत्सा + अद्य”, it can apply to the daughter.)
विहितं औषधप्रायम्
वत्साद्य वचनं शृणु
मातृसेवामहाभाग्यं
मा विसर्ज मनागपि
मातृदेवोभवेत्याखा
विश्रुतं वेदवाग्धनम्
मा मा मतुः मनःपीडा
कारको भव सर्वदा
कदापि तान् कटुन् शन्दान्
मा ब्रूहि मतिमान् भव
शाकानि वा गृहे अत्र
भोजनम् हरि भाजनम्
भाशणम् गृहजनेभ्यः
न मे रोचनदाकम्
धूम्रपानं सुखप्रायं
त्राणदम् पार्षदो।पि मे
निष्कासनोऽपि शालायाः
वंछितं मे सुखावहम्
उद्योगं मे अयोग्यं हि
यथेच्छवर्तनं भवेत्
इत्यादि वचनानीत्थं
मातरं प्रति मा वद
विवाहं विना सौख्यम्
सर्वदा पशुसन्निभम्
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "भारतीयविद्वत्परिषत्" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to bvparishat+...@googlegroups.com.
Anand Hudli
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to bvpar...@googlegroups.com.
Kesava Tadipatri
Anandji,
Thank you for your understanding. Just want to elaborate a bit more.
I fully understand that it is satirical in nature. In fact there is special place for satires (प्रहसन) or caricature (विदूषण) in Sanskrit literature. I never implied that there is Mother’s day concept in SanAtana dharma. It is clear that you wanted to write something funny for modern Mother’s Day concept. But even so, there is no exemption from grammatical accuracy. व्यङ्ग्य भाषण is also quite present in Sanskrit literature. Sarcasm or सोत्प्रास and संतक्षण are also widely used in Sanskrit plays, etc. If Sarcasm was intended, then also धूम्रपानसदचारः प्रशम्सनीयः is sarcasm to be used by the father and धूम्रपानदुराचारः गर्हनीयः is sarcasm to be used by the son. Sarcasm has to be complete in a sentence rather than half way.
One prahasana emphasizing the need for the accurate grammar is -
यस्य षष्ठी चतुर्थी च
विहस्य च विहाय च।
अहं कथं द्वितीया स्यात्
द्वितीया स्यामहम् कथम्॥
Kesava Tadipatri
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to bvparishat+...@googlegroups.com.
To post to this group, send email to bvpar...@googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/bvparishat/beaefa42-8424-45de-ba76-d1dfaa7d6a81%40googlegroups.com.
Hnbhat B.R.
Dear sir,Very good attempt and by God’s grace, keep it up.
Since you asked for some suggestions, if you don’t mind, I would like to say the following.
Any poetry must have a spontaneous and amooth flow and there should not be any sign of groping for words. There should be some shabdAlankaras like anuprAsa or alliteration and some arthAlankAras like upamAlankAra or simile, if some peotic beauty is desired.
Mammata says सगुणौ सालंकारौ शब्दार्थौ in his definition of काव्य but do not deny them if without alankara kavyatva, by saying अनलंकृती पुनः क्वापि।
Any instruction should start with some words that draw the attention Also why should this instruction be only for son? Why not for daughter also?
No comments if you are criticizing for gender descrimination
If the father is instructing his offspring, why madhyama purusha (second person) usage “मातृदेवोऽसि”(You are mother goddess)?
“ब्रूयात्” is wishful thinking. “ब्रूहि” is better word, which is instruction. Thus “मा ब्रूहि” goes much better than “न ब्रूयात्।”.
Needless repetition can be avoided - like - “ददान्न दुःखं” and “मा भूत्तस्या मनःपीडा” are same.
If the son says that “smoking is praiseworthy”, why would he call it durAchAra? If father says it is durAchAra, then why would he say “prashamsanIya”. Thus these two wrods can not go together at all.
If they are father’s words, then something like “धूम्रपानदुराचारं दुःखदं रोगदायकं।”. If they are son or daughter’s words - “ धूम्रपानं सुखप्रायं त्राणदम् पार्षदो।पि मे।”.
मातॄणाम् सुदिन is a true translation for “Mother’s day”. More natural will be “”मातृस्मारकदिनम्।”. Further such good behavior is imperative not just on Mother’s day, but on all days. So, the word “स्मारक” signifies that the reminding happens on that day, but behavior is needed on all days.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/bvparishat/CAMH4yMEhZaeWQnYAj%2BFoojNUnbTHW2k_4opfh9fGuRj9i7GAgQ%40mail.gmail.com.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.J
Hnbhat B.R.
Praveen R. Bhat
Sorry I clicked before finshing. Anyhow it was already finished. But I started to say ”“”मातृस्मारकदिनम्।” would a tendency to convey "the death anniversary of mother" than conveying "mothers' day" conveyed by way of translation.
Kind rgds,
--Praveen R. Bhat
Trichur Rukmani
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/bvparishat/CAGjfHuw%2BAZrthu8T%2BX0Pcmb1TC%2Bec7JtQQOj7x9ibDk2oXHebw%40mail.gmail.com.
Kesava Tadipatri
There is equal chance for interpreting मातृदिनम् as the day of “Mother’s shrAddha day” as there is for interpreting मातृस्मारकदिनम् as “Death anniversary for mother”.
That springs from the fact that there is shrAddha process in our culture, which is absent in their culture. So, they have no issue to say Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
When the vigraha vAkya is (with singular usage) मातुः दिनम् or मातुः स्मारकदिनम्, there is scope for such interpretation.
By making it plural and going with madhyamapadalopi like शाकप्रियः ब्राह्मणः शाकब्राह्मणः
one may say - मातॄणां प्रीतिस्मारकदिनम् मातृस्मारकदिनम्
Similarly, one may opt to mention the vigrahavAkya for मातृदिनम्.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/bvparishat/CAATwsQDcRgkZQGs3FgjOfcVjv%3Dd3ST3b_nfEqEM%2BQW8qCZq6iw%40mail.gmail.com.