T, G, Mutthafuckin R
brookeelizabethkania
Snapchat sluts and boiz developing guts,
For the past two weeks, after tirelessly cleaning, skipping every single fucking class – to clean, answering to furious e-mails from our NJ guido landlord – about cleaning what once might have been, could have been, should have been our kick ass backyard that kKg casually commandeers for random biddie events (what the shit, just ask next time), we’ve decided...
why da phuck not, let’s see how much sn0w we can blow on our back porch again. Now you ADJECTIVE, NOUN, might be asking yourself, dear god why would these ladies allow such debauchery at their casa for a second time? Why would they allow Marty to throw up all over their side yard again? What other outdoor furniture could be broken into little plastic objects so tiny to the point of not even knowing what the fuck they were in the first place? How could their grass even have the potential to grow after being soiled in copious amounts of chocolate syrup, jager, and every single type of 15 $$$ handle in human existence? As it turns out, the alcoholic concoction that made Marty boot, works even better than MiracleGrow™. Toxic for the Aussies, great for gr@ss. Seriously, our grass is longer than Stew’s flow. Who knows, maybe even Leighton will pop out of Dana and Med School apps for this rager.
But you may still be thinking, these girls are wack! Why subject themselves to hosting festivities where the ever awkward Scott Perkins (aka Garrett) is destined to lurk? It’s a commitment, it’s a lifestyle, it’s time for... TGR.
The time has come…the event that will be more important than the birth of your first child. It’s the biggest premiere of the century; Teton Gravity Research is coming to a Bucknell theater near you. Yes, YOU.
For those of you who are semi-illiterate/too stoned to function, here’s the cliff note version:
What: TEE GEE AAARRRR Premiere Where: LANG 301 - Gallery Theatre in the LC When: THIS Saturday, after the Super Sat @ 6pm Why: Your eyes will shed gentle tears of pure joy and elation, and to rack up mad moneyzz for booze and other party favors How: HARD to MEDIUM HARD
And for you slackers that are giving us an enormous headache because you didn't get your forms in, bring them to the LC while we're tabling this week, dammit. Do it, or you'll be stuck in your shitty dorm room this wintery season, forced to watch awful movies starring Nicholas Cage, or even worse - Ryan Gosling, while everyone else is raging their dicks off.
The deets: - Tabling in the LC all this week from 11-1, to convince peeps to buy tickets at the box office, the CAP Center, or online (link should be up soon)
- BUY YOUR TICKETS ($10), or prepare for the wrath of Steph Wenner (Swenz), knocking at your door every hour of the night until you do - Bring all of your friends, so they realize how mega lame they are for not joining BUST and all of its true greatness - Rest up kiddies, I smell a shitshow coming
Brooke "Someone just gave me five dollars and asked to be my boyfriend" Kania Molly "Am I even on this ski team?" Miller Catharine “I’m definitely not on ski team” Cipolla
Brooke Kania
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