FW: Husband & Wife Jokes

[Virupaxayya.C]

 

Wife: 'What are you doing?'  Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'  Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'  ------------ --------- --------- - Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'  Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'  Wife: 'Yes or no.'  ------------ --------- --------- - Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture  and the problem disappears.'  Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?' Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there  be greater than this one?'  ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -----  Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,  troubles and lighten your burden.'  Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or  troubles.'  Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' ------------ --------- --------- Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give  up my seat to a lady.'  Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'  Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'  ____________ _________ _________ __  A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father  hadn't left me a fortune?'  'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT  YOU A FORTUNE!'  ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- ---------  Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' ------------ --------- --------- - A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my  sexy body?'  He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!' Keep Smiling

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