Third Birthdays!?

[Gabrielle Maxwell]

Hi mamas!

I can't believe that it's already time, but anyone interested in having a reunion/third birthday party for the kiddos? It can be even more casual than last year if that's the preference; it'll just be great to see everyone and meet the new babies!

Any ideas? I can send out a doodle for dates. 

Love!

Gabi 

[Dara Webman]

I'm in. You beat me to sending out an email. We're pretty free in February & March. Let's get the doodle poll going and pick a date. Looking forward to it!

Dara

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[Jessica Fischer]

Sounds fun!!! We are in.

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[Jessica Sperling]

Same here!

 

Jessica Sperling
917.797.4678
jessica....@gmail.com

[Nell Reid]

In!  Sounds great!  We're away the last week of feb/first week of March.  Free other than that!

Nell 

[Jessica Sperling]

Same here!

On Saturday, December 6, 2014, Jessica Fischer <jess...@gmail.com> wrote:

 

Jessica Sperling
917.797.4678
jessica....@gmail.com

[Lorena Ramirez]

We're in! 

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[Michelle Neuringer]

Sounds good!  I'll be out of commission from January 26th through the first week or so of February (c-section + recovery), but will be otherwise "free" :)

We'll also have a large finished basement that will be great for this kind of gathering (we're moving a week from Monday!!)

[Megan Marsh]

Count us in! Olive's baptism is 2/22, but any other weekend is good so far. 

Sent from my iPhone

[Gabrielle Maxwell]

Does the second weekend in March work for everyone? march 7/8? 

Michelle - congrats on the move and thanks for volunteering your space! 

[Jessica Sperling]

Yep, that's good for us.

[Dara Webman]

We’re available that weekend.  Getting excited to see everyone!

[Olivia Racanelli Annicq]

Works for us - great idea!

[Lorena Ramirez]

This is fantastic! Works for us as well.

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[Kathy Byfield]

Works for us too!!!

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[Michelle Neuringer]

Ok!  That's the weekend before Zoe's birthday, so we can plan to do her birthday party the following weekend.  But I'd prefer not to use our house as a venue 2 weeks in a row, so let's find an alternate place for the group birthday party.  Happy to host everyone at some other time!!

[Megan Campbell Marsh]

Just realized I never responded to this one... That should work for us, too!  Let us know when the date is definitive, as I will be likely planning Maxwell's family party for the previous weekend since that is his actual b-day week.

Looking forward to seeing everyone!

---

From: Michelle Neuringer <mich...@gmail.com>
To: "brookly...@googlegroups.com" <brookly...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, December 8, 2014 10:18 AM
Subject: Re: Third Birthdays!?

[Gabrielle Maxwell]

Hi mamas!

A few things....

First of all, Michelle - you're in the home stretch, right? Sending you love! Let us know if we can all help you in the coming weeks!

Secondly, let's talk about March 7/8 weekend for celebrating our kiddos birthdays. Where should we do it? Anyone have any ideas in mind? Happy belated birthday to the December babies!!

Third, for those of you with two kids, what did you do with the older one when you went into labor? 

Hope everyone's new year is off to a good start!

Gabi

[Michelle Neuringer]

Yep -- 10 days left!  Trying to sleep as much as I can, but Zoe's making it hard.  In the last week or two, she's become terribly resistant to bedtime, coming out of her room with excuse after excuse after excuse... we're considering getting a gate outside her door or a doorstop to contain her.  She finally passes out around 9:30-10.  It's exhausting.  

How about ice skating in prospect park?  A group party at the zoo?  

I won't get to experience labor, but we have Nate's parents lined up to stay with Zoe while we're in the hospital.

Hope everyone's doing well!!

[Nell Susan Reid]

She’s trying to prepare you for the no sleep you’ll be having in 10 days!  AHHHHHH!  Can’t believe it’s happening so soon!  Theo’s been extra clingy and sensitive lately - maybe also related to impending baby?  I am so nervous to have another one!  All you mommies out there with two… tell me it’s going to be ok.   Are any of you having the 2 share a room?  That is my plan after a few months if the baby is sleeping ok.  For those of you at home full-time… how much childcare/help do you think is ideal?  Theo will likely be in school 3 or 4 afternoons per week from 12:30-3:30 - I also have a sitter for 1 full day.  But I’ll want some time for myself a little and I’ll want to carve out some special time with Theo.  Did any of you have a baby nurse in the beginning?  I have so many questions.  Thankfully I still have over 4 months left but it’s going SO fast!!!   Any advice is welcome. :)

Anyway - regarding party… it would be nice if the weather cooperated and we could just play in the park!  I’ve got nothing.  

[Jessica Sperling]

Hey all!

Gabi- we were lucky in that Graham's sisters live nearby, so they were on call to watch Eve during labor. Not sure what we would have done if they weren't here. If you don't have someone else, Graham and I can be your go-to people!

Nell- Eve and Liddy do share a room. I was concerned at first, but it's worked reasonably well overall (though of course there are sometimes certain complications). They can sleep through any night crying from the other better than I had expected, though there have certainly been occasions where one wakes up the other. I also wasn't sure how to handle conflicting naps, so we have Liddy nap in a pack and play in our room. I stressed a lot about the room-sharing logistics before doing it, so I'm happy to talk to you more about it.

Re: the party - I'm game for the park if the weather is nice. If we wanted an indoor plan just in case, I know DSK in Ft Greene rents space earlier in the day, but I'm not sure about cost. Ample Hills (the ice cream place) also hosts parties - not sure of any details or cost, but I think there's some package that includes ice cream.

Jess

[Dara Webman]

I was going to suggest Ample Hills too!  It's not that expensive and they have a package that includes making your own ice cream flavor. That could be fun.  Let me know if you want me to get the details. 

My parents are going to be here for #2's arrival. I'm not sure if I'm going to have another scheduled c-section or try to go naturally but either way they will be around and on call. I would offer to be on call for you too but I think the timing may conflict!  Imagine if we go into labor the same day!!

I'm planning to have the new baby in my room in a bassinet in the beginning but I'm hoping he will move into Andi's room eventually. Like Jess said, I know a bunch of people who have had success with this. 

Nell, I'm also totally freaking out and not sure I'm ready for two kids. I can barely deal with the one I have!!  I'm debating the baby nurse. We had someone with Andi and although she taught me a lot, I felt she got in our way. We may just do a night nurse for a week or two but not sure that makes sense if I'm Breastfeefing and not sure where she would sleep in our two bedroom apartment!!  I'm struggling with so many different decisions that I'm paralyzed and can't move forward with any of them.  Can't even decide if we should get a double stroller!!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you all in a few weeks. 

Michelle - I hope you're feeling well. Good luck with delivery. I hope it's easy and painless!!  Let me know if you need anything!

Dara

[Kristin Ahern]

Gabi - my parents started staying with us one week before my due date. We had found a babysitter that would be willing to come "on call" if I went early. I had thatcher on my due date so lucked out.

Nell- having 2 is great! 2x times the love! My biggest rec for help is seeing if you can get someone to help with drop off/pick up from Theos school in the early days. Since I walked everywhere w/ Everett as a baby... Driving around with a newborn is/was New for me. Totally hate the crying when I can't do anything about it (pick up, nurse, soothe in any way) while I'm driving. It's nice to have the break on days Ev goes to school but I dread the driving. Good news is you forget how much sleeping newborns do in the beginning. The first 6 weeks they just sleep and nurse!

I totally use screen time as a major crutch for help when I need it!

Gabi, Nell, Michelle, Dara ... Did you all find out the sex?

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[Megan Marsh]

I agree with Kristin - two has been really great for us. Definitely a juggle but Max seems to have really taken to the big brother / helper role.  In preparation, the book "I'm a big brother now" that they sell at destination maternity totally helped. Surprisingly it has also helped us to be on a better schedule - he sees olive getting ready for bed or going down for a nap, so he is more apt to cooperate with bedtime or nap time. Not always, of course, but an improvement. ;-)  We had one period of pretty intense toddler meltdowns when Olive was 2-3 months old, but completely understandable since we moved into a new house, went on a (road trip) vacation to Disney, and I went back to work all with one month.  So yeah, we pretty much set ourselves up for that one. 

As for the birth, we had Max stay with my parents. I had another long labor and eventual c-section so to break it up Dave stayed home with him one of the recovery nights - and I only stayed 3 instead of the 4 nights post c-section.   It was strange being there by myself but I told them I was nervous about being alone so the nurses came in quite often and were really helpful. 

Sent from my iPhone

[Michelle Neuringer]

Kristin and Megan - your emails came at just the right time!  I was starting to freak out a bit (the topic of conversation in my December/January mommy list is colicky babies) so hearing positive words has really gotten me excited about becoming a mom to two on Monday!

Kristin - we're having another girl! 

[Nell Susan Reid]

MONDAY!!!  AHHHHHHH! 

I know - it’s good to hear such nice things from you two.  I feel so scared!  I love Theo to pieces but I feel like it’s never gotten much easier!  Now I can’t imagine two?!  And Kristin -  I’m having another boy. :) 

Theo’s just been going through a really clingy weird stage lately where he’s super scared of other kids.  I’m not sure if something happened at school - but he’s crying at school again and he’s like petrified of all children.  I took him to Adam’s shoot on Saturday where there were like a hundred adults running around and he was great - chatting it up with everyone.  But as soon as another child enters the room, he gets frozen with fear and clings to me for dear life.  Oy.  It’s stressing me out.  Any of you deal with anything like this?  I am wondering if I should seek advice from an expert of some sort.  

He is also super upset by babies crying!  ha.  we’ll de-senstize him to that real quickly come May.  Sheesh.  He’s a sensitive little soul.  

[Michelle Neuringer]

I think that being scared of other kids but comfortable with adults is perfectly normal at this age.  Zoe is shy around most kids with the exception of her 2 or 3 best buddies.  She also cries at school (surprisingly during dancing, which she normally loves).  Her comfort object (bunny) helps in those situations, but sadly, she lost bunny on the train yesterday!!  Tragic!!

In other news(?), my mom is very very sick, in her final weeks/days.  I'm her caretaker most days (writing this from her bed right now), and won't be able to play that role next week.  I'm holding up, all things considered, but I'm sure the emotions will intensify in the coming weeks.  It's all quite surreal.  

[Nell Reid]

Oh god michelle - I'm so sorry to hear that.  The timing is rather unfortunate/somewhat poetic in a way?  Is that stupid? Thats so much for you to be dealing with though.  I can't imagine.   I'm sure it's nice to be able to spend this time with her before you have the baby though.  Let me know if there's anything I can do. 

Nell 

[Michelle Neuringer]

The timing is rather poetic, Nell!  This baby is her legacy.  And the fact that my mom has held on with Pancreatic Cancer for over 7 years and may very well live to see her second grandchild is miraculous.  It's still painful and scary as hell to be going through all of this - to see her suffering.

Sorry to have changed the tone of our third birthday thread!!  But it felt right to share with the group what I'm going through right now.  Love you guys!

[Kathy Byfield]

Michelle, 

I am so so sorry to hear about your Mom. As someone who has been through this, I really feel for you. You're in my thoughts, very much so. What a perfect miracle your new little girl will be. 

Two is harder, but so great. I can't imagine it any other way. Winnie is 16 mo. old now, so it's really fun to see his little (and very different) personality and he does everything Emmet does... he sits on the potty and he only will eat if he has a spoon and they wrestle and kiss (and hit)... they hold hands in the car. I love that they have each other.

Poor Owen has been sick on/off for like, 6 weeks! And we've gotten into a really bad pattern where I began nursing him to sleep and now he can't get down without nursing for like, 45 min. No good! As soon as he's feeling all better, we're going to re-train him. bleh. He's not the good sleeper Emmet was, but easier in a lot of other ways. 

As for the 3 birthday, that date may not work for me now. I'm not sure, so please don't change on my account... will keep you posted and I hope it ends up working!

Kathy

[Gabrielle Maxwell]

Michelle, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. We know how special your relationship is with your mom and how you've been caring for her (and cheering her on) for a long time. If there is anything we can do to ease this overwhelmingly sad and joyous time please let us know. 

[Jessica Fischer]

Michelle,

I'm so sorry to hear about this.  We are praying for you guys.  You and your baby girl are definitely giving your Mom strength now that she needs it most.  If I can do anything please let me know.  

I second what Kathy says about the two loving each other and about it being hard.  Welles is only about to be 5 months but Lincoln is obsessed with him.  I have a babysitter on Mondays for 5 hours and Lincoln goes to school 3 days a week for 3 hours.  It gives me enough time to feel like my head is above water.  A lot of other things don't get the attention they need, i.e. my apartment is always a mess, but I've learned to stop sweating the small stuff.  

I'm thinking about you and sending lots of love your way.

Jess 

[Dara Webman]

Michelle - 

I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your mom.  Please let me know if you need anything at all!  I know we don't live right down the block anymore but we live close enough that I can be there in second!  I think Zoe has a comfort level with Andi & Reeann and would be comfortable spending time at our house so please keep me posted if you need us to help out.

You guys are making me feel so much better about having a 2nd kid in the house.  Thanks for all the good news!  

We are so lucky to have each other for support and guidance.

Love,

Dara

[Jessica Sperling]

Michelle - I'll echo others in saying that I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I can't imagine how hard it must be. I am also more than happy to help in any way I can - don't hesitate at all to reach out anytime!

I'll also echo others in saying that 2 kids is great! Of course, it can be complicated as well at times, but it's more than worth it. Now that we have Liddy, it feels like Eve would have missed out on so much had she not had a sibling!  There really is nothing better than seeing them enjoy and love each other.  

[Lorena Ramirez]

Hello everyone!

Michelle, I just wanted to send you a huge virtual hug and tell you that I am around in person if you need anything. 

I can't imagine how difficult the situation must be, but I am so happy that you are able to be there for your mother. It seems to me that along with Zoe, you and baby number two are a beautiful legacy. 

Having two children is hard. But I agree that the love between my two children is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed in life--Arie and Lili (despite Arie's assertions that he loves her only a little because she is, of course, little) love each other so much that it's palpable. They need to know where each other is at all times, they play together, fight for the same toys, and already plot and team up against the parents. "See, Mami, Lili. Doesn't want to sleep--as she screams with delight to see her brother at 5am."

Confession: we have a family bed. A walks into our bedroom and nudges his way in the middle and I pull Lili onto our bed at some point in the night so that we are all in bed for morning.

On the practical side, Nell, I would say that the second time is definitely speedier than the first. A took 48 hours while Lili was done in 5. Accept as much help and daycare/babysitting options are available in the beginning. And, Nell, hang in there with Theo. I am sure that once his brother comes along, he won't  be able to imagine life without him--although I can tell you that A is no less complex of a little person, a sibling has been good for him.  I am attaching one of my favorite videos from almost 3 months ago (yikes)!

Big hugs!!!!

Lorena

[Olivia Racanelli Annicq]

Michelle - I'm so sorry to hear this too. Sending courage your way and it is so heartwarming to think about the legacies - I hope your Mom finds comfort in it too. Always here as well if you need a hand/ear/anything.

I can echo with 2 that is it somehow MORE than twice the love. Hectic of course, but really sweet. I think what has been important to remember

with the two is that the tough phases (i.e. weeks where they only want to torture each other) come and go just like all the crazy stages did with the one (teething, random sleepless nights, eating paper... etc, etc). 

So every once in a while, just take a deep breath, realize it will get way better and have some wine!

And the TV has been a crutch at dinner time for us too. Glad I'm not the only one. 

Also - Celie would get very jealous sometimes when I was breastfeeding in the early months. For us, it didn't work at all to reprimand or punish her (for hitting, acting out) - it just made her do it more.

A friend told me to shower her with affection and it totally worked. The behavior stopped very quickly or would stop in its tracks before getting bad. We would say: "Celie are you feeling angry/frustrated - do you need a hug"

and she would be a totally different girl. It takes lots of patience and the baby may get squeezed in toddler hug while trying to nurse, but it was worth it.

Good luck to everyone - can't wait to hear baby news and see you soon.

Olivia

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[Jessica Sperling]

Michelle - I'll echo others in saying that I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how hard it is, and how crazy life is/will be with this and also the new baby coming.  If there's any way I can help, please do let me know.

I also wanted to echo what others have said in that two is great!  Of course it can sometimes be a bit complicated, but the benefits of having two kids, seeing them interact and care about/for each other, etc are so wonderful.  Try not to worry so much about splitting attention - the fact is that things are just different with two, and even if you can't give the same sort of focused attention to one all the time, you and they will figure it out and be fine. I feel like it's helped Eve be a bit more independent, which is nice!  

Can't wait to meet all the #2s!

[Kristin Ahern]

Michelle -You are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Lorena- that video is beautiful. 

Olivia- I agree! I have been trying to remind myself that each stage passes quickly.