Need advice

[Nell Reid]

So - I am sending theo to a new school next year. When I signed up, the morning session (8:30-11:30) was full so I signed him up for the afternoon session (12:30-3:30) bc the school is awesome and I figured we'd deal with the nap situation/fallout when the time came. Theo still naps everyday - but often for 45 min (sometimes up to 90 min) and 90% of the time in the car or stroller. My good friend Amie signed her daughter Rain (theo's known her since birth) up for the afternoon session as well as another girl they both currently go to school with. I just got a call that now there's an opening for a boy in the morning and it's mine if I want it. If I switch - I'm sad that theo and rain won't be in class together - they're in school together now and are kind of best friends - though they've gone through rough patches too (however he'll have a boy friend of his in the morning class). He still wakes up between 5:45 and 6:25 (depending on daylight savings) so I'm nervous he'll be overtired for the afternoon session... But I'll also have a new baby and I'm worried it'll be hard to get us all out every morning for 8:30am. Then again - maybe it'll be terrible being home everyday until 12 w both kids??? Do any of you have an opinion on this? I'm obsessing!! Both teachers seem great - afternoon seems a bit less structured and more warm and fuzzy. Morning seems super structured and organized but less warm and fuzzy.

Help! What would you do?

[Olivia Racanelli]

Hi Nell! Understand your stress! Celie's school has an afternoon class with same timing. She's not in it but I've talked to some of the families and they said they were so worried about naps and it just didn't turn out to be a big deal. The kids just adjust quickly to a morning nap again vs afternoon.

So try not to worry about naps for Theo - and though it will always be a lot of juggling no matter what schedule you have, #2 is just going to have to be adaptable!

Go with your gut favorite?

Xxx

> On Apr 14, 2015, at 1:31 PM, Nell Reid <nellsu...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> So - I am sending theo to a new school next year. When I signed up, the morning session (8:30-11:30) was full so I signed him up for the afternoon session (12:30-3:30) bc the school is awesome and I figured we'd deal with the nap situation/fallout when the time came. Theo still naps everyday - but often for 45 min (sometimes up to 90 min) and 90% of the time in the car or stroller. My good friend Amie signed her daughter Rain (theo's known her since birth) up for the afternoon session as well as another girl they both currently go to school with. I just got a call that now there's an opening for a boy in the morning and it's mine if I want it. If I switch - I'm sad that theo and rain won't be in class together - they're in school together now and are kind of best friends - though they've gone through rough patches too (however he'll have a boy friend of his in the morning class). He still wakes up between 5:45 and 6:25 (depending on daylight savings) so I'm nervous he'll be overtired for the afternoon session... But I'll also have a new baby and I'm worried it'll be hard to get us all out every morning for 8:30am. Then again - maybe it'll be terrible being home everyday until 12 w both kids??? Do any of you have an opinion on this? I'm obsessing!! Both teachers seem great - afternoon seems a bit less structured and more warm and fuzzy. Morning seems super structured and organized but less warm and fuzzy.
>
> Help! What would you do?
>

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[Lorena Ramirez]

Hi everyone!

So exciting to be able to read about everyone's approach. It's always so reassuring and helpful.

Nell, I would without a doubt, switch Theo to the morning session. Arie continues to be an early riser and the morning is a lovely period for him to be in school. He's more receptive to learning, more capable of controlling his mauling tendencies, and generally excited and happier. We have recently found the sweet spot--early bed time and no nap. His sister just tags along and is forced to be more flexible with her needs. On the other hand. He's her hero so if he goes to bed at 6, she will too :).

Having Lili in the carrier all
the time early on, really worked for us --though a little tougher in the burbs, I imagine. But, afternoons we were out and about and she napped as needed. It's a bit harder now, but that taught her to be flexible early on--she also likes to sleep so that helps.

I also think that it's tough, but also possible to help the kids keep their ties. Arie's best friend is still Celie. They have a sweet almost sibling-like relationship although they see each other on average once every two weeks--sometimes more.

Big hugs,
Lorena



Sent from my iPhone

> On Apr 14, 2015, at 1:31 PM, Nell Reid <nellsu...@gmail.com> wrote:
>

> So - I am sending theo to a new school next year. When I signed up, the morning session (8:30-11:30) was full so I signed him up for the afternoon session (12:30-3:30) bc the school is awesome and I figured we'd deal with the nap situation/fallout when the time came. Theo still naps everyday - but often for 45 min (sometimes up to 90 min) and 90% of the time in the car or stroller. My good friend Amie signed her daughter Rain (theo's known her since birth) up for the afternoon session as well as another girl they both currently go to school with. I just got a call that now there's an opening for a boy in the morning and it's mine if I want it. If I switch - I'm sad that theo and rain won't be in class together - they're in school together now and are kind of best friends - though they've gone through rough patches too (however he'll have a boy friend of his in the morning class). He still wakes up between 5:45 and 6:25 (depending on daylight savings) so I'm nervous he'll be overtired for the afternoon session... But I'll also have a new baby and I'm worried it'll be hard to get us all out every morning for 8:30am. Then again - maybe it'll be terrible being home everyday until 12 w both kids??? Do any of you have an opinion on this? I'm obsessing!! Both teachers seem great - afternoon seems a bit less structured and more warm and fuzzy. Morning seems super structured and organized but less warm and fuzzy.
>
> Help! What would you do?
>

[Jessica Fischer]

I think if theo were younger the nap situation may not really be an issue but at this point I would be prepared for him to drop nap completely if you do the afternoons...and that's not necessarily a bad thing- like Lorena said, earlier bed time!

Rain and Theo are besties and that relationship will continue regardless. He will make new friends too which is always fun!

As far as having the two...Welles was 4 weeks old when school started in September. I had help until about 6 weeks but after that I had to juggle both kids and getting out the door- it wasn't easy but those 3 hours with well worth it, IMO.

Sent from my iPhone

[Nell Reid]

Thanks Lorena and Olivia-

My gut says the morning is definitely better for theo timing wise...but it's so hard to anticipate what it'll be like once there are two. It's so nice to be able to use you guys as my go to resource!!!

Love our little support group - still email strong even with 1/2 of us no longer in brooklyn! Awesome.

> On Apr 14, 2015, at 1:50 PM, 'Lorena Ramirez' via Brooklyn Mommies <brookly...@googlegroups.com> wrote:
>

[Kim Brooks]

Nell, 

Morning session. Without a doubt would be my say. 

First, Theo will still remain close with his best buds. Poppy's closest gal is in daycare, and only sees her once every week or other. Still loves her. And she still adores Maddie too, and we rarely see them!  And...Theo will make some  wonderful new friends too!

I'm sending Poppy to morning session in September. I truly believe it's the best thing to do for many reasons. She will be more alert, and less cranky for one. Also, I find she gets so antsy after a few hours at home in the morning. Her tolerance for independent play at home is much better later on....something else to consider when you make your decision depending on when Theo does best at home.

Also, I'm going to have a new one too (yay!) and from what I remember, I think it's going to be much better for me (and the baby) to have some time in the morning. Lots of moms I know who have seconds have said as much...

Wishing you luck....I can't wait to pick everyone's brain on a couple other questions I have myself!!! 

XO

Kim

[Kathy Byfield]

Kimmy... congrats!!!!! When are you due?!

I just spoke with Nell, but my vote is for AM school as well, if given the option :)

k

[Megan Campbell Marsh]

My initial thought is morning too.... that said, I know of many people who were super anxious about the afternoon session, but it didn't turn out to be an issue.... by the time some of them started, the afternoon nap had been dropped anyway.  Others did a short nap after school (4-5pm).  I would probably weigh the teacher personalities higher than friends being in the class -- those relationships will continue no matter what.  I would also consider what he is like without a nap -- I know it's preferable for Max to nap, but he isn't a total disaster if he doesn't.  And if he is a disaster, it isn't until the evening and we do an earlier bedtime instead.  As for the additional baby, you will figure out a way to get out the door.  Olive actually sleeps much later than I dreamed Max could ever sleep, so I often have to wake her around 7am to get out the door!!  You just never know the cards that this new one will have up their sleeve....  or what Theo will be like in 6 months from now.  I would go with your gut and which teacher you think would be the best match for him -- though it sounds like they are both great.  I guess I'm not helping much here!  haha

By the way, regarding the previous nap discussion.... we still drive around for naps with Max a lot of times.  At daycare he goes down fine because all the other kids are doing it.  If I take Olive for the car ride too, she zonks out every time we are in the car, so that's an easy way to get them to nap together.  However, we are stuck in the car :-( 

---

From: Kathy Byfield <kathyh...@gmail.com>
To: Brooklyn Mommies <brookly...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Tuesday, April 14, 2015 3:02 PM
Subject: Re: Need advice

[Dara Webman]

Kim - 

CONGRATULATIONS!!  I'm so happy for your family!  

Dara

[Dara Webman]

Kim - 

CONGRATULATIONS!!  I'm so happy for your family!  

Dara

On Apr 14, 2015, at 2:57 PM, Kim Brooks <kim.bro...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Kristin Ahern]

Congrats kim! Due date?

Nell, I agree the AM is a good time to be alone with the baby & works well for early rising 3 year olds. That's what our schedule was this year. 

however, afternoons would totally work. You can take the long way home and they can both snooze in the car.

 Sounds like two great options! How many days is everyone sending their kids to preschool next year? 

Sent from my iPhone

[Nell Susan Reid]

Thanks Kristin!

I’m starting with 3 mornings but hope to add a 4th pretty quickly! 

[Dara Webman]

Andi's going to school 3 full days next year. I'm considering adding a 4th but not sure she can handle it or if the school has availability. 

I'm curious what others are doing? 

Still struggling with breast feeding over here AND struggling with balancing 2, one of which is super demanding (Andi)!!  Please tell me it gets easier??  

[Jessica Sperling]

Nell - I second others re: morning v afternoon. I'd personally go morning, but I think either would be fine. The baby's naps are now unknowns and will probably not be able to be totally accommodated no matter what you do!

Kim - congrats!!! I think you now complete the group in terms of having a number 2!

Eve will actually be starting prek next year (which is still crazy to me), do she'll be full-time. 

--

 

Jessica Sperling
917.797.4678
jessica....@gmail.com

[Lorena Ramirez]

Kim,

That's fantastic news! 

Arie will be going 5 mornings and 2x until 3pm. If he likes it, I can always add additional days. I am nervous about the afternoon--they ask kids to "chill" for 45 minutes. Something, Arie can't do. But they know that and said that they would work it out and who knows--maybe they'll be able to teach him. He's at a Montessori school and will be in class next year with kids from 3-5. I'm both excited and nervous about this. Arie loves bigger kids when we go to the playground he gravitated to them--but they can be so mean! I guess he'll have to learn sometime.

Pre-K! My goodness, Evie IS a big girl! Where will she be going, Jess?

Dara, it will definitely get better, but if I'm honest, I think it only gets good around the 1yr mark. Lili is almost 1and I am just beginning to feel like I'm not i survival mode. In the meantime, though, it's a very humbling experience to be a parent of 2 and I still cannot believe how much I love them. I would say, lavish as much love as you can to Andi. For every kiss you give the baby, she gets one too. I still try and apply this rule. Also, giving Arie responsibilities having to do with his sister made it so that diaper changes, burping, breastfeeding, etc., were also about him. And thank goodness for iPads and bob the builder in our case :) hang in there!!!

Big hugs all around!

Lorena

 

Sent from my iPhone

[Kristin Ahern]

It gets easier I promise! How old is baby now Dara? Breastfeeding was horrible for me for first 4 weeks with this one,then it finally got better and it's been good ever since. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't feel guilty using screen time!! It is our crutch. 

Sent from my iPhone

[Jessica Fischer]

We are going all out! 5x a week- full days!  I was apprehensive at first but as the months go on and Lincoln continues to grow in so many different ways I think he will benefit more from being at school then he will from being at home with me.  It's also kids 3-5 but like Arie, he loves older kids!  They do nap, lunch and gym twice a day so it breaks things up a bit.  Of course I'm a little sad but I'll get over it I'm sure. Lol. 

Dara, hang in there- those first few weeks are tough.  Take the help when people offer and yes, Lincoln still likes helping me when I'm changing Welles or giving him a bath...now he participates at meal time too since we are doing solids... but be prepared for a mess! Ha. 

Two is hard but so rewarding when they start to interact. It will come soon enough- it goes by fast!

Congrats Kim!!! Very exciting!

And wow! Cannot believe how big Eve is!!! Pre-k!!! Awesome.

Sent from my iPhone

[Olivia Racanelli Annicq]

Hello! Congrats Kim!! Very exciting :)

Celie will also be doing 5 full days - 9-3. I don't think I would have been ready to dive in like that but it is all the school offers. She is doing 3 full days now and with the 2 kids, I love not having to turn right around after drop off to get her again. And then we have the afternoons to play all together.  Also there are SO many holidays and weeks off during the year that I'm using that as a comfort... we will see.

Dara - it most definitely gets easier.  I remember asking that a lot myself in the first 4 months. Things get better in stages - when the breastfeeding isn't constant is a huge one (and hopefully it will get easier in general for you!), then with less frequent, longer naps, and then suddenly you have a little toddler, and dare I say, things actually start to get quite fun and they will even play with each other!

Totally agree on making sure to give lots of patience and affection to the older one. Seems to pay off for mother and child. Also, I didn't do enough of this - but getting the toddler involved in baby chores is a built in distraction, activity, hostility diversion - so would definitely keep that in mind!

xx

[Megan Campbell Marsh]

Max goes to daycare full-time and she is a former teacher so she does a preschool curriculum with the kids in the mornings (heavily adapted for the non-preschool age kiddos).  She typically keeps the kids until they start kindergarten so the kids range in age from 1 to 5.  We are going to have him do that next year too.  At drop-off this morning, I was chatting a bit too long and after a while Max opened the door and said, "Bye Mommy, have a good day!"  Apparently he loves it there! 

Getting everyone into the new flow was definitely a challenging adjustment -- I agree that it helps to have the older one feel like a helper... and yes, def do not feel guilty utilizing screen time!  We are having a little increase in attention seeking behaviors lately.  I catch myself saying, "Wait a minute, Max, let me finish doing this one thing with Olive...." but I have to keep remembering to put him first every now and then.... the baby will survive if she has to cry a bit ;-) 

And congrats Kim and to all the recently new mommies of two!  It's so exciting - I just love this group :-)

 

---

From: Dara Webman <dweb...@gmail.com>
To: "brookly...@googlegroups.com" <brookly...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 15, 2015 8:40 AM
Subject: Re: Need advice

[Kathy Byfield]

Dara, it gets easier!!!

Emmet's going to go 5 x mornings next year in a '4' program. We were going to keep him in the '3' program (3 days), but he was approved for 7 hours (upped from 2) of SEIT (Special Ed teacher) next year, so we've been encouraged to put him in 5 days to get all the services he can get. He still does speech 2 x week and OT 2 x week, so Emm's a busy bee! Lorena, he's been the very youngest in class for two years now (and will be next year again) and it's been fine. He's definitely more immature, but socially, the kids all seem to play together just fine.

That said, next year will be a tricky decision for us. If he still needs services, he'll lose them if we 'redshirt' him for kindergarten. As of now, Tim and I feel strongly that we don't want him starting kinder as a 4 year old... I guess we'll see where we're at then. Poor kid is literally, 1 day away from the cut-off. This rule is such bullshit!

Overall, things are going much better with Emmet. He's doing great at school, now that he has the aid. He's listening more... not throwing so many melt-downs. I feel like we've learned how to recognize when things are too loud/over-whelming for him and he's learning how to tell me when he's over-stimulated as well. Our house looks like a gym (replete with a ball pit and trampoline), but who cares, right?! Kristin/Megan, I really can't thank you enough for your words of encouragement early-on. I felt so overwhelmed and scared when he first got evaluated and hearing from you two, as professionals, meant more than I can say. I've learned a lot in the last 6 months (navigating the school system alone is a full-time job!) and we're certainly not out of the woods, but everything seems manageable again. And I'm so freaking proud of this kid :) It also helps that Owen is not a baby anymore. They're best buds... it's neat.

And Spring is FINALLY here!!!!

Clearly, I love this group too. Lots of love to the new Moms!

Kathy xo

[Michelle Neuringer]

Zoe's going to school 5 half days starting in September.  She's currently in school 3 half days, but in a different school (she's in a 3s coop now, where she's the youngest--in September she'll also be in a 3s program where she'll get to be queen bee).  However, most kids in her new school go full time, so I'm concerned that her schedule will put her at a disadvantage.

Dara--hang in there!  It definitely gets easier once the little one starts sleeping better.  Zoe is still the more demanding one, but as the others said, lots of affection and attention for the older one is key!!  Tough love didn't work for Zoe so we went the opposite way (in our case, when she refused to sleep that first week we let her sleep in our bed, which makes her feel very special).

Congrats Kim!  So excited for you!!  Oh how we've multiplied!

On Apr 15, 2015, at 8:40 AM, Dara Webman <dweb...@gmail.com> wrote:

Andi's going to school 3 full days next year. I'm considering adding a 4th but not sure she can handle it or if the school has availability. 

I'm curious what others are doing? 

Still struggling with breast feeding over here AND struggling with balancing 2, one of which is super demanding (Andi)!!  Please tell me it gets easier??  

On Apr 15, 2015, at 8:34 AM, Nell Susan Reid <nellsu...@gmail.com> wrote:

Thanks Kristin!

I’m starting with 3 mornings but hope to add a 4th pretty quickly! 

On Apr 15, 2015, at 6:38 AM, Kristin Ahern <kfru...@gmail.com> wrote:

Congrats kim! Due date?

Nell, I agree the AM is a good time to be alone with the baby & works well for early rising 3 year olds. That's what our schedule was this year. 

however, afternoons would totally work. You can take the long way home and they can both snooze in the car.

 Sounds like two great options! How many days is everyone sending their kids to preschool next year? 

Kim