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View this email in your browser Ask a Manager should you require video on during team meetings? my dishonest employee blames technology when he messes up boss is always scratching his chest, drinking non-alcoholic beer at work, and more the miniature diorama, the burn book, the gun, and other weird items left behind in desks Too many posts to read? Switch to a weekly version instead. Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. Copyright © 2024 Ask A Manager, All rights reserved. You're receiving this email because you signed up for my email list at askamanager.org. Our mailing address is: Ask A Manager askamanager.org Washington, DC 20002 Add me to your address book Want to change how you receive these emails? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

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Ask a Manager my intern keeps pushing for a full-time role when office potlucks and catered parties go wrong asking candidates how to transport an elephant, a 10-year leak by my desk, and more my Gen X coworker is trying to “grandma” the Zoomers and it’s getting weird

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Ask a Manager open thread – November 8, 2024 telling an employee his pants are too revealing, unannounced video calls, and more was it reasonable to fire a new hire who was too overwhelmed to work on day 3?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – November 9-10, 2024

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Ask a Manager Ask a Manager in the media my brother is my business partner and he keeps going MIA coworker derails meetings, employer wanted a weekend interview, and more

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Ask a Manager this is how to write a good cover letter my boss treated me like her therapist … and it blew up asking to change desks because you don’t like someone, are typos in a draft a huge deal, and more when can I ask a potential employer about working remotely?

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Ask a Manager job candidate says she would need to work for us secretly our ex-CEO’s son can’t do his job and is overpaid manager dislikes his new employee, firing an employee who went viral for attacking football fans, and more a team whose boss was AWOL for 2 years is angry and resentful now

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Ask a Manager updates: reading in the car on work trips, employer wants my book money, and more let’s discuss territory-marking at work can you be fired for making a pass at your boss’s spouse, volunteer dropped the ball, and more our new boss is ruining the organization and is upset that I’m pushing back

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Ask a Manager open thread – November 15, 2024 rolling my eyes while giving feedback, company is forcing me to see their doctor to get prescription coverage, and more is it better to quit without another job or be fired?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – November 16-17, 2024

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Ask a Manager a federal judge has blocked the new overtime rule my team member won’t stop talking about their Keto diet my job made me a shocking counteroffer, how to meet people at a new job, and more

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Ask a Manager I saw colleagues’ private messages mocking my weight I’m frustrated that my coworkers with kids work less than me, but I don’t want to cut back boss wants to dumb down my writing, telling a job-hunting relative he stinks, and more the Rolodex hoarder, the used tea bags, and other stories of territorial behavior at work

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Ask a Manager is my employee taking advantage of the flexibility I give her? is my girlfriend’s CEO hitting on her? last year’s Christmas party was a disaster, what does “parking is provided” really mean, and more job application is fixated on high school academic performance

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Ask a Manager how much socializing at work is too much? let’s talk about unusual office traditions employer hired a sex offender, being called a “mom” professionally, and more my coworker’s constant interruptions make us all dread team calls

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Ask a Manager open thread – November 22, 2024 my boss hates that I blush a lot, I messed up a major project as my internship ended, and more how do I network without being too transactional?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – November 23-24, 2024

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Ask a Manager we’re supposed to buy liquor and ski passes for our bosses I just found out my BFF has been my employee’s therapist for years boss runs hot and cold, collecting cash to give to staff, and more

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Ask a Manager I have no idea what to get for the office gift exchange I can’t advocate for myself without getting emotional coworker keeps snarking on the way I fold paper, “non-religious” holiday attire, and more the boat party rations, the cook-off vote theft, and other food stories from work

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Ask a Manager I’m being flooded with business offers by friends and family the sandwich party, the goat shrine, and other unusual office traditions my boss called me a “rando,” security camera is pointed at my desk, and more the bacon monitor, the baby boom, and other tales of holidays at work

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Ask a Manager Thanksgiving free-for-all – November 28, 2024 Thanksgiving eve open thread the potluck magician, the apricot thief, and other stories of holidays at work

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Ask a Manager open thread – November 29, 2024

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – November 30-December 1, 2024

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Ask a Manager the schedule for updates this year update: should I tell my employee she needs to give a clearer “no” to a client who’s interested in her? a nudist across from the office, a lease dispute with a former tenant’s manager, and more

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Ask a Manager I feel exploited by my employees update: can I do anything about my aggressive-driver coworker? drunk boss was angry I couldn’t drive him, coworker who’s afraid of clowns, and more updates: coworkers don’t know I’m married, tiny lunches, and more updates: Diet Coke as a religious accommodation, coworker loves shoplifting, and more update: should I tell an employee I had a dream predicting his death?

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Ask a Manager my assistant doesn’t know how to prioritize update: my company secretly gives parents thousands of extra dollars in benefits friend won’t pay my cancellation fee, car alarm disrupts our office, and more updates: reported a coworker for hitting a child, the spooky question, and more updates: best friend is dating my employee, coworker tries to scare me, and more updates: the dog-sitter, coworker is taking credit for my work, and more

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Ask a Manager update: owner won’t do anything about our terrible employee share your funniest office holiday stories my sister abused my employee discount, employee is too rushed in the morning, and more update: can I have stickers on my wheelchair at work? updates: younger coworker thinks I don’t know about computers, people think coworker is having an affair, and more updates: employees are cuddling in staff meetings, unvaccinated new hire, and more update: I organize orgies — can I talk about it in my job hunt?

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Ask a Manager updates: CEO is furious about my joke, boss keeps saying he loves me, and more more on AI attending meetings open thread – December 6, 2024 company asked if we’d donate a kidney, candy dish drama, and more updates: interviewer said my reading tastes were pretentious, problem employee lashed out at me, and more updates: working from a one-bedroom with a baby and nanny, the chatty employee, and more updates: doing a video training from bed, I can see an X-rated scene from my office window, and more update: can I bring a friend-with-benefits back to my hotel on a work trip?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – December 7-8, 2024

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Ask a Manager 42 gift ideas for every type of employee on your team update: I was asked to take down a family photo vote for the worst boss of 2024 I offended a client, asking a new hire to go by her last name, and more

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Ask a Manager how to survive your office holiday party update: do I have to fire someone due to his lack of child care? boss talks to me like I’m a baby, coworker is making me late, and more update: someone made a mean “self-evaluation” for my boss, and she’s punishing us all updates: boss gave me hush money, don’t want to participate in my office’s steps challenge, and more update: how much can I pet my cat on video calls? update: my performance evaluation is based on activities outside of work

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Ask a Manager my employee never apologizes for mistakes update: our anti-bullying consultant accused me of bullying him vote for the worst boss of 2024: round 2 I sent an adversarial email, should I tell my coworkers I have hemorrhoids, and more updates: the damaged bookcase, showing armpit hair at work, and more updates: coworkers want me to spend the night at their house, employee refuses to do her job, and more updates: boss hired his emotionally unstable son, non-urgent texts in off-hours, and more update: my employee keeps coming to work sick

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Ask a Manager updates: the complaining coworker, the coworker who won’t share a file, and more open thread – December 13, 2024 vote for the worst boss of 2024: the finals boss goes through my things, haircut drama, and more updates: the out-of-control birthday celebrations, boss wants a timeline for my leaving, and more updates: work doesn’t interest me, bringing a sippy cup to work, and more update: stably employed but internally screaming all of my 2024 book recommendations my employee is vaping on video calls office holiday gift-giving stories: worst gifts and weirdest gifts I have regular happy hours with only one of my employees, coworkers complain I’m not as fast as my predecessor, and more updates: boss keeps bringing sick child to work, manager keeps asking for rides home, and more “I will confront you by Wednesday of this week” update: my coworker is working alone overnight despite explicit instructions not to update: my patronizing coworker interrupts meetings to explain basic things to me

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – December 14-15, 2024

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Ask a Manager our underage intern drank at the company party update: I might run into the person whose life I ruined at a work event the worst boss of 2024 is… coworker is giving a colleague underwear in our Secret Santa, cooking a roast at work, and more

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Ask a Manager updates: custodian says we have fleas but we do not, and more update: I’m buying a business — how do I tell one employee (who’s currently my coworker) that I’m not keeping her on? coworker doesn’t follow her own fragrance ban, son-in-law won’t show up on time, and more updates: new hire was upset about my maternity leave, asking assistant to check in before she leaves, and more updates: ex-boss wants to be my friend, telling my manager I can’t take work trips, and more a truly hilarious company holiday party story, told in bullet points update: colleague doesn’t wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom, and people are making it my problem

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Ask a Manager should I demote an employee who can’t do her job? update: how to tell my boss his second-in-commands are making it impossible for me to do my job I don’t want to be in the middle of my coworker’s crush, a burping boss, and more a good news story update: should I correct students who address me as Mrs.? update: is it OK to vacation with a friend from work? update: my coworker’s obsession with coffee is an all-day distraction

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Ask a Manager my favorite posts of 2024 what’s your company doing for the holidays this year? director lied to HR about what I told him, fiance’s boss makes me cut her hair, and more updates: I don’t want to be pied in the face for work, and more updates: is my preferred name too cringy, banning money collections, and more update: my boss is resentful when I do well the boudoir photos, the date from Shopko, and other stories of holidays at work

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Ask a Manager open thread – December 20, 2024 employee’s outbursts might be hormonal, an overly friendly coworker, and more updates: my boss threatened himself, inappropriate music in a family-friendly store, and more updates: boss says parents can’t be good at their jobs, how to get coworkers to actually help, and more update: I promoted one employee instead of her coworker, and now my whole team is upset update: I’m in charge of our disgusting office kitchen

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – December 21-22, 2024

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Ask a Manager most popular posts of 2024 update: my employee is passing off ChatGPT lists as his own ideas employee might give me drugs for Christmas, the office couple decided to swap jobs, and more

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Ask a Manager update: my interviewer said an employee was unhappy he was interviewing me update: the black woman who was told to monitor her tone and not dominate conversations coworker’s husband punched me after the Christmas party, can I wear burlesque makeup to my office party, and more updates: employee chews tobacco at his desk, old school’s awful mentoring program, and more updates: boss says I need to socialize more, coworker won’t talk to us, and more update: my employee makes up words and is impossible to understand

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Ask a Manager the best office holiday party date story of all time

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Ask a Manager update: my boss says I should always be available on my days off update: our new boss is ruining the organization and is upset that I’m pushing back I don’t want my partner to take a job on my team, boss told me to be friendlier to my ex-BFF, and more

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Ask a Manager open thread – December 27, 2024 I got drunk and flipped out at a company dinner, coworker complained about my burping, and more updates: the nosy coworker, the quiet firing, and more

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – December 28-29, 2024

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Ask a Manager update: my manager says my shyness is seen as rudeness update: I gave notice to our daycare provider and she freaked out coworker tags CEO on Twitter to point out my mistakes, I don’t want to carpool, and more

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Ask a Manager updates: my coworker says he’s my boss but he’s not, and more update: my awful coworker’s employees want me to help them coworkers are attacking people over grammar, boss’s wife wants me to organize their house, and more update: is it my job to manage a coworker’s feelings?

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Ask a Manager coworker keeps making minor corrections to my work, CEO wants us the company logo on our butts, and more updates: telling my boss I want his job, coworkers ask about my weight loss, and more

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Ask a Manager how to fight for your job in a “hunger games” scenario how should I decorate my office? coworker’s “people I need to hit” list, director sent around a photo of my messy desk, and more

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Ask a Manager open thread – January 3, 2025 coworker keeps telling people she’s my boss, suspicious jewelry, and more updates: martial arts at work, coworker hates me, and more

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – January 4-5, 2025

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Ask a Manager my employee is too accommodating my boss’s wife cheated on him in front of me, and now he’s icing me out at work our office banned couches, axe-throwing at the company holiday party, and more

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Ask a Manager should employee use sick time for doctor’s appointments? I think my disastrous ex-employee is co-opting queer identity boss constantly talks about her personal finances, coworker is addicted to her phone, and more should I call out a vulture who takes way more than his share of food at meetings? how much time can I ask for to consider a job offer? my vegan coworker is upset about getting non-vegan gifts three years in a row asking my wife not to attend a work dinner, coworker’s fidget rings are distracting me, and more coworkers are angry that we got rid of their smelly, fly-ridden compost bucket

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Ask a Manager update: my new boss treats me like his assistant … which isn’t what I was hired for did a haircut ever change the way you were treated at work? coworkers can’t believe I’m not wearing a coat, asking to work remotely after getting a tattoo, and more I’m angry at my coworkers — can I refuse their apology?

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Ask a Manager open thread – January 10, 2025 how can I convince a new job to let me work from home, staff gets ready to leave before the end of their shift, and more how to ask “did you get my gift?” without sounding like you’re fishing for a thank-you

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – January 11-12, 2025

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Ask a Manager junior employee sends rude emails my new boss told me not to take all my PTO each year mysterious visitor won’t leave our cafe, correcting coworker’s Spanish mistake, and more

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Ask a Manager my employees’ juice cleanses are disrupting their work a fellow conference attendee was a jerk on the airplane politely avoiding sitting by a loud coworker, colleague asked me to lead a project and then went silent, and more employee runs to work and drips water and mud everywhere when he arrives

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Ask a Manager should we offer severance to a belligerent, hostile employee? our CEO is demanding we return to the office but people don’t want to — and I’m a manager stuck in the middle HR person secretly helped her mom get hired, coworker is identifying herself as a psychologist when she’s not, and more employer wants me to write 30 essays before they’ll even consider my application

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Ask a Manager Ask a Manager on Bluesky let’s discuss malicious compliance coworkers are bouncing on yoga balls on Zoom calls, paid parental leave but only for women, and more my friend has terrible judgment, and I’ve encouraged it

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Ask a Manager open thread – January 17, 2025 CEO shared family trip photos after announcing budget cuts, new hire aggressively compliments our work, and more can I tell clients not to bring in sick kids?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – January 18-19, 2025

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Ask a Manager my coworker keeps demanding I say “please” my employer fined me $90 for being late warning an intern about a bad manager, former colleague is running a scam, and more

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Ask a Manager my company is a great place to work … for everyone but me my coworker accused of me of deliberately snoring to keep him awake on a work trip job candidate’s name is a slur, exec is marketing a job as a “roommate opportunity,” and more

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Ask a Manager can I ask employees to stay late during busy times? I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office my employees can’t move on after I yelled at them, boss found out I’ve been hiding mistakes, and more the cheap flights, the bursting jacket, and other stories of malicious compliance

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Ask a Manager updates: the musician with a day job, the required email greetings, and more let’s discuss jerks getting their comeuppance what to do about a terrible workplace when you can’t leave, employee keeps writing in her pregnancy journal at work, and more can I cut short a whole day of horrible, rude interviews?

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Ask a Manager open thread – January 24, 2025 my partner is angry about how I handled harassment, venting to employees about managers above them, and more here’s an example of a great cover letter from a career changer

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – January 25-26, 2025

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Ask a Manager is it OK to nap at work? do I have to share my story on a “women in industry” panel? should conjoined twins receive one salary, daily meetings with my boss, and more

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Ask a Manager I talked to Vulture about Severance my coworkers have way more money than me … and they constantly expect me to shell out cash for meals and gifts touchy-feely team-building, are job search gimmicks less popular now, and more my “on-site” coworker is never on-site

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Ask a Manager should anything in a performance evaluation ever be a surprise? questions from federal workers who are currently under attack socializing at hybrid team meetings, job offer was pulled after a reference check, and more the file poacher, the reluctant apology, and other stories of jerks getting their comeuppance

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Ask a Manager my office is overrun with corporate buzzwords let’s talk about out-of-touch company executives the first person to accept the offer gets hired, reference checker asked how much sick leave an employee used, and more did I help my mother embezzle money?

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Ask a Manager open thread – January 31, 2025 my new boss coughs all over me, my coworker sucks at managing his team, and more should you have a bunch of people send the hiring manager unsolicited letters of praise for you?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – February 1-2, 2025

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Ask a Manager my employee is in obvious pain, but won’t get medical treatment boss says it’s unacceptable not to meet all deadlines, no matter how unreasonable I accidentally peed on a fabric chair at work, why have policies that aren’t enforced, and more

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Ask a Manager my job offer was rescinded after I tried to negotiate is my boss being too open about menopause? our head of DEI outed me to 800 people, do clients think I’m a nepo baby, and more update: I don’t want to babysit my brother in my office

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Ask a Manager do job titles matter? my job wants me to hit up everyone I know for money and other help should we get the day after the Super Bowl off, asked out on LinkedIn, and more is it a terrible offense to include profanity in a resume?

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Ask a Manager update: my coworker screamed at me and HR hasn’t done anything let’s talk about carpooling for work … and how it can go wrong can I use a wedding photo as my work avatar, I sneeze constantly, and more more on the federal government’s “deferred resignation” offer (spoiler: it’s definitely a trap) the luxury cabin, the clueless Christmas card, and other stories of wildly out-of-touch company executives

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Ask a Manager open thread – February 7, 2025 I’m supposed to live with my boss and her husband, bad coworker is finally leaving, and more how do you write an ad for a job that can be very unpleasant?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – February 8-9, 2025

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Ask a Manager my interview with Weekend Edition about the attack on federal workers did everyone know the real reason I was at an office party with a married couple? should you get fired for bad behavior at a football game, I’m worried my boss is laying a paper trail to fire me, and more

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Ask a Manager coworker swears angrily during the day my company announced a “biggest loser” weight loss contest my coworker keeps raising his voice, is it true that you can’t take any time off when you’re new, and more should your resume list the city/state for each job?

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Ask a Manager my employee loves his job — but is bad at it more questions from people whose jobs are under attack by the new administration is “hey” rude, did our coworker fake-retire, and more my employee regularly forgets important details and entire conversations

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Ask a Manager who should tell employees about raises? how to stay professional when you’re full of rage at your job interview felt like an exam, HR is sending everyone Valentine’s Day candy “from” other coworkers, and more the questionable drop-off, the kazoo lover, and other tales of carpooling for work

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Ask a Manager open thread – February 14, 2025 boss said “someone’s parents didn’t love them” about me, how to work with a former manager I can’t stand, and more hiring manager wants to fire my mentor and replace him with me

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – February 15-16, 2025

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Ask a Manager update: my doctor’s office constantly leaves me on hold — how do I deal with this at work? can I use dark humor at work? canceling a women’s group because of DEI concerns, can I accept a job offer on the spot, and more

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Ask a Manager how do I apply for a job internally without my boss knowing? did I scare off a new member of our professional organization? new coworker told me to “slow down,” suing the government, and more update: anti-vax employee is pressuring a coworker not to vaccinate her baby

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Ask a Manager employee’s girlfriend visits him at work every day my new employee feels excluded on a well-meaning but cliquey team coworker gives me praise I don’t deserve, employer asks if applicants are registered to vote, and more how do I handle endless rounds of nitpicky questions from coworkers?

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Ask a Manager updates: the gossipy ex-coworker, I don’t want to hire a friend, and more ask the readers: moving from nonprofit to for-profit work can I go back to my old job, employees share an office and don’t get along, and more my new job is making me work far more weekends than I was told when I was hired

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Ask a Manager open thread – February 21, 2025 my new job has so much drama it made the news, out-of-order bathroom, and more how to answer “is there anything that would prevent you from accepting an offer?”

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – February 22-23, 2025

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Ask a Manager “at our company, employees just disappear” my employee gets huffy when we play music in the office coworker masturbates in the men’s bathroom, employee doesn’t solve problems on her own, and more

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Ask a Manager employee doesn’t eat, then gets hangry and irritable is it unreasonable for me to not plan my staff’s schedules around their dogs? people complain I’m unenthusiastic at work events, fair scheduling when kids are involved, and more when an interviewer wants to talk to the candidate’s wife

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Ask a Manager can you fire someone for being racist? I work for a nonprofit that gets poor results for the amount of money we spend is my boss crossing lines, coworker injecting medication at their desk, and more how risky is it to post about politics on social media?

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Ask a Manager what fired federal workers can expect now let’s discuss shared desk horror stories boss told me to bring my sick four-year-old to work, coworkers saw my NSFW phone screen, and more how can I stop being frustrated with a coworker who’s making my job harder?

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Ask a Manager open thread – February 28, 2025 my mom answered my phone and yelled at my boss, staff grumbling about sales team’s “perks,” and more is it a red flag if a team has a group text?

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Ask a Manager weekend open thread – March 1-2, 2025

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Ask a Manager my employee keeps telling me his “expectations” of me my team doesn’t want to work for a client whose politics they disagree with high school career counseling is using ChatGPT, giving 360 feedback to a clueless coworker, and more

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Ask a Manager these are the 10 questions you should ask in your next job interview my fiancé was my boss’s bully in high school coworker asks someone to get him food every day, new hire took the “fork in the road,” and more how normal is it to help your partner in their job?

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