The Mummy Returns Free Full Movie
Percival Blanco
It is a curiosity of movie action that too much of it can be boring. Imagine yourself on a roller coaster for two hours. After the first 10 minutes, the thrills subside. The mistake of "The Mummy Returns" is to abandon the characters, and to use the plot only as a clothesline for special effects and action sequences. If it were not for references to "The Mummy" (1999), this sequel would hardly have a plot at all.
Nine years have passed. Brendan Fraser is back again as Egyptologist Rick O'Connell, and Rachel Weisz, the librarian he met in the first film, is now his wife; they have an 8-year-old son named Alex (Freddie Boath). Also back are John Hannah as the twitty brother-in-law Jonathan and Arnold Vosloo as the mummy Imhotep, whose name sounds more than ever like an ancient Egyptian chain of pancake houses. Oded Fehr is the worried sage Ardeth Bay, who begins sentences ominously with "It is written that. . ." until Rick finally snaps, "Where is all this written?" A good question, since much of the story involves a magical pyramid of which it is written, "No one who has seen it has ever returned alive." That logically leads us to wonder how they ever found out about it. But logic applied to this movie will drive you mad. So will any attempt to summarize the plot, so I will be content with various observations:
1. The ads give the Rock, the World Wrestling Federation star, equal billing with Fraser. This is bait-and-switch. To call his appearance a "cameo" would be stretching it. He appears briefly at the beginning of the movie, is transmuted into a kind of transparent skeletal wraith and disappears until the end of the film, when he comes back as the dreaded Scorpion King. I am not sure, at the end, if we see the real Rock or merely his face, connected to computer-generated effects (his scorpion is blown up to giant size, which has the unfortunate effect of making him look more like a lobster tail than a scorpion). I continue to believe the Rock has an acting career ahead of him, and after seeing this movie I believe it is still ahead of him.
2. Alex, the kid, adds a lot to the movie by acting just like a kid. I particularly enjoyed it when he was kidnapped by a fearsome adversary of his parents, chained and taken on a long journey, during which he drove his captor crazy by incessantly asking, "Are we there yet?"
4. I have written before of the ability of movie characters to outrun fireballs. In "The Mummy Returns," there is a more amazing feat. If the rising sun touches little Alex while he is wearing the magical bracelet, he will die (it is written). But Rick, carrying Alex in his arms, is able to outrace the sunrise; we see the line of sunlight moving on the ground right behind them. It is written by Eratosthenes that the Earth is about 25,000 miles around, and since there are 24 hours in a day, Rick was running approximately 1,041 miles an hour.
5. One of the big action sequences involves a battle between two vast armies, which stretch as far as computer-generated effects can see. One army is human. The other army is made of countless creatures named Anubis that look like giant savage dogs that stand upright and run on their hind legs (it is not done well, but one is surprised to find it done at all). These armies clash in bloody swordplay. Each dog-creature, as it is killed, reverts to the desert sand from whence it sprang. Finally all the creatures are destroyed, and we see the victors standing around feeling victorious and wishing that high-fives had been invented. And we notice that not one single member of the victorious army is dead or even wounded. Pathetic, that thousands of years of ancient curses and spells could engender such an incompetent army of dog-sand-creatures.
6. Several readers have argued with the rule in Ebert's Little Movie Glossary that teaches us, "no good movie has ever featured a hot-air balloon." To be sure, there are exceptions, but "The Mummy Returns" is not one of them. Its hot-air balloon looks like the ship that sailed to the land of Wynken, Blynken and Nod.
7. At one point the action returns to London, and we see Tower Bridge, the dome of St. Paul's and Big Ben clustered closely together in one shot. This is no doubt to make it easy for the geographically challenged. Perhaps adding a few snapshots from Madonna's wedding would not have been too much.
The charm of the first Mummy film was that it tooknothing seriously. Its plot was this simple: a priest loved the wife of thepharaoh and was buried alive only to be brought back to life in the 20s. Heneeded to be stopped before he could take over the world, or something likethat. The problem with The Mummy Returns is that it tries to qualify theneed for a sequel with an extraordinarily unnecessary amount of plot.
There is so much going on here, its impossible to getcaught up in the fun of its action and adventure. The first thirty minutescontain a huge war of global domination, the flooding of a temple with waterfrom the Nile (does it completely drain the river?), the digging up of the mummyfrom the original, an attack on the heroes house, and a kidnapping. This mayseem like the start of a great time at the movies, but unfortunately, the nextforty or so minutes is filled with flashback that give new information to theopening sequence of the original, following kidnappers (not the one I firstmentioned, but a second), and many attempts to explain the reason for why themovie exists.
The movie kicks off with the story of the Scorpion King(WWFsThe Rock), who is attempting to conquer the world. After his army is defeated,he makes a pact with the god Anubis to spare his life if he gives him his soul.The god grants his prayer and soon the Scorpion King and the soldiers of Anubishave battled far and wide, and then for some reason, they all disappear. TheRock disappears from this point on also; his next appearance is in CGI form.
Well, the heroes of the first movie, Rick OConnell(Brendan Fraser) and Evelyn Carnahan O'Connell (Rachel Weisz) (they are marriednow, of course), happen upon the bracelet of the Scorpion King. The braceletseems quite popular because a trio of thieves try to steal it from them, untilthe Nile floods the temple, of course. They escape the temple with the help oftheir son, Alex (Freddie Boath). Next, we see a group of people digging upIm-Ho-Tep (Arnold Vosloo), the mummy. Why would anyone dig this monster upagain? Well, the movie attempts to explain: You see, the Scorpion King will beresurrected and try to conquer the world, and Im-Ho-Tep may be the only one tostop him. So, does that make him a good guy? No. That would be too simple.Apparently, if Im-Ho-Tep defeats the Scorpion King, he will gain control of thearmy, and then he can conquer the world. It seems like a lose-lose situation forthe world, doesnt it? One may ask, why resurrect the Scorpion King to beginwith? Well, apparently the only answer is that without him, theres no sequel.
Now, I am willing to discard this implausibility, butunfortunately the movie seems to be trying to convince itself that there is areason for its existence. Hence, we have the forty or so minutes of expositionin the middle of the story. It gets quite boring during this strand, and the newinformation leads to some interesting questions about reincarnation. The mummyslover has been reincarnated but "in body only." The soul comes later.Im sorry, but doesnt reincarnation mean that the soul of one individualoccupies another body at a later time? The movie doesnt think so, becausethere are two characters who share this metaphysical paradox.
The movie does do some things well. The action and fightscenes near the end are well-choreographed, and certain other action set piecesare effective. I liked the energy of the first thirty minutes, even though therewas a lot going on. I enjoyed the chase on the double-decker bus. Even thoughthe scene involving vicious pygmy-like creature is straight out of The LostWorld, it still is effective. The humor in these scenes is definitelyreminiscent of the first movie, and, like the first movie, it works at times.
Similarly, the special effects are hit and miss. Some ofthem are impressive (the dog-headed army at the end and the pygmy creatures cometo mind); some of them are adequate (the new incarnation of the Scorpion Kingand the giant tidal wave); some are just plain cheesy (the dog-headed armysattacks in the opening, the bugs, and a view of the underworld). While some ofthe special effects in the original were cheap, it added to the campy fun. Hereit seems odd considering an obviously bigger budget, and it definitely distractsfrom what should have been some of the movies more exciting parts.
What can I say about The Mummy Returns? It has somemoments that work in the same way as the first movie, but the awkward need toexplain itself ruins the appeal and fun that The Mummy had. I must giveit credit for coming up with a slightly less obvious title than The Mummy 2butnot too much.
Note: Ive known that special-effects artists have a strange senseof humor and like to put little in-jokes into their work. Well, I finally caughtone of their jokes, and it is a very funny reference to Dr. Strangelove.If you would like to try to find it on your own, stop reading now. At the end ofthe pygmy attack, some of them cross a log over a chasm and are blown up by astick of dynamite. As they fall to their deaths, one of the pygmies copies SlimPickens infamous ride on the A-bomb. It was subtle, but I noticed it. I wouldlike to thank whoever did this and let you know it did not go unnoticed.
On the surface, Kanley Stubrick (hereafter, KS) is a dyslexic ode to Paxil-flatlined channelsurfing, Waterworld-waterboarding, Ambien-ambient affect, & the banal catechisms of mildly curious cohabiting partners, but look closer: you will see it is, in wacktuality, an ultimate species of revenge tragedy, in the Grand Guignol-tradition of The Duchess of Malfi, Freudian psychoanalysis, Golden Girls, and the Bill Kill diptych of legendary American film-cosmetologist. Tintin Quarantino.