Equipment ideas
Drew
Ever occurred to anyone that a wee spirit level on power drills would
be an awfully good idea? Bit obvious, but as far as I am aware no one
does it. Maybe I'll stick one on.
Best
Norman
cross cut electric saw but who wants to boast of a spirit level on a
drill - damned good idea though.
Best
Jerry
- drilling horizontally, that would sort out vertical alignment
- now how to sort out the horizontal ... ?
Another way would be for the drill to cast a circular light on the wall
- it would become an ellipse if the direction was not 'true'
The neat thing about the spirit level is that one could stick it on
most drills, using epoxy and a jig
(my Deck and Blacker does not appear to have a single straight edge)
Phil
automated abacusses/abucii, the idea just won't take off.
Might both the vertical and horizontal planes be sorted out with 2
levels
in a " + " or " T " shape? A set of each to be fitted to both the top
horizontal, and the vertical section of the hanndle. Drilling on any
angle
other than 0 or 90 might pose a problem however.
My immediate thought was of the vibration perhaps causing the single
bubble to enter into osmosis. A froth of bubbles might confuse the
likes of me, in determining which bubble is the true one. This dilemma
could keep me up late for weeks.
Drew
saying "Laser Aligned". That'll pull the punters in, just like
all these people who buy tools with lasers on them in the cretinous
belief that it will make them better craftsmen -- yourself excluded of
course :-)
Dunno if a projected circle would be sensitive enough, but perhaps one
could arrange some sort of intererometry method for the horizontal with
a laser on each side. However it's easy enough getting one plane
right by eye so a simple spirit level would do for me. Really is a bit
of a bugger though because 5 degrees off means that countersunk screws
end up annoyingly slightly un-flush.
Can't quite follow your reasoning Phil, perhaps gravity in Aus is not
vertical? Would certainly explain a lot. Could use a compass I guess
but the magnetics would screw it so a gyro compass would be better,
backed up with a laser interferometer of course, and GPS.
Vibes might indeed be a prob so a slightly viscous liquid might be
better. Think I'll experiment.
Re spirit levels Norman, they seem to use fluorescein (C20H12O5) or
something similar. One I've got has turned colourless and I suspect
sunlight flipped the molecules permanently. Cautiously I now keep my
better quality levels out of direct sun but I don't know for sure.
Any comments? (preferably of vague relevance).
Best
Norman
Fluorescein:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/fluorescein
gives two clues; Says it is fluorescent in alkaline solution so if your
bubble level is not alkaline then maybe it is not coloured.
Alternatively it needs some trace chloride ions in solution to work, if
these are absorbed then anionic fluorescein can be taken out of
solution. Both explanations seem suspect in a closed glass tube though.
Maybe UV can break it down but it is noticeable in such low
concentrations, I would have thought this also unlikely. Long answer
short is that I don't know.
I do like Jerry's projected circle Idea though, this works in every
plane of misalignment. Perhaps it could be done with projected LED's
Ah yes Norman, but the way to address that is to stick on a gaudy label
saying "Laser Aligned". That'll pull the punters in.
Don't think this sort of thing doesn't happen. Here is an example
of a major company taking the unsuspecting punters for a ride. Do you
remember when the Gillette razor blade company brought out its Platinum
products? 'Gillette razor blades made with platinum' said the
adverts, everybody knew that platinum was an expensive metal and were
led to assume that its inclusion in the steel gave the blade some
special long lasting qualities. It didn't contain platinum at all; it
is far too expensive for this purpose. The furnace which tempered the
steel had its temperature controlled with a platinum / rhodium
thermocouple and the blades were indeed made with platinum.
Btw, I don't know if laser tools would make me a better craftsman, I
never felt I needed them so never bought any.
Best
Drew
shall remain cautious. Wrong kind of glass? Could have been heat too of
course.
Oh dear, what a sorry tale of Gillette. Does that not contravene the
advertising standards?
'Turbo' is another good one. Hoover was keen on that. Having worked
briefly (subby) in the Cambuslang (near Glasgow) Hoover plant, I can
relate that the only aspect which merited the turbo epithet of the
huge, depressing factory was the excellent canteen. Quartz watches too,
the only bit of old technology is the quartz crystal. Marketers must
drool with delight at a population intent on ignorance. Incidentally,
did I ever mention that in the S. West coast of Scotland,
'ignorant' means socially inept, as in the phrase "That's
igorant that is, she shouldnae pish in the street."
Best
Norman
the Advertising Standards, since the run of words were intentioned to
deceive. Who is going to know it though except a few nosey people like
me or people whose jobs depend on keeping mum. I don't know too much
about these standards, I would have thought it depends on whether the
public is supposed to be in on the joke. I don't think there are many
people who believe Heineken actually refreshes the parts other beers
cannot reach. The standards people must either be there to apply the
rules stringently and ban things like Heineken or make a judgement call
on the average education level of the targeted audience. For instance,
although technically correct in its wording "Stork SB tastes like you
would expect a soft butter to be" is designed to plant certain false
assumptions in the mind. I expect the standards people are there to
keep the whole game reasonably honest.
Funny you should mention the Ignorant thing, it has exactly the same
connotation in Liverpool too.
Best
Drew
definitely out to deceive. Ad agencies seem to live in some sort of
rarefied atmosphere of self congratulation without actually considering
whether the ads are acceptable or would actually work. Some truly
appalling ones floating around. Irn Bru though, "Made from
girders", not many would be likely to take it at face value and
rather good ads for all that.
Re other ads, I believe Turtle Wax came in for a pile of stick from a
dedicated, though ignorant faction of animal rights.
A definitive of 'ignorant' on my one-click dictionary :-
adjective lacking knowledge, ill-educated; uninformed; having no
understanding or awareness (with of); showing or arising from lack of
knowledge; discourteous, rude, ill-bred; keeping back knowledge
(Shakespeare); unknown (obsolete).
noun (rare) an ignorant person.
So although unusual, both Liverpool and SW Scotland are kinda correct,
probably because the emphasis has changed but these tight communities
are a bit more resistant. That would be OK apart from the fact that
they don't seem to appreciate the more general meaning and certainly
in Glasgow the users of the term as such, don't include
'ignorance' in their vocabulary portfolio.
Here's an odd one though -- 'pollution'. In Ayrshire, and only
ever in Ayrshire as far as I know, the word is sometimes used as a
derogatory term applied to someone who does dumb things. As in, I
repaired a guitar amp for a young relation of my neighbour (the castle
factor) but he broke it again a few weeks later, being young, stupid
and careless with possessions which come far too easily. John (the
factor) said "He's a pollution." Curious one, isn't it.
Best
Jerry
The Advertising Standards Authority Ltd
Company No. 00733214
http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk/60210deb9559c34f61486879ed962389//compdetails
It is a 'self regulating' scam run by the Advertising industry.
I'm amused by 'Platignum' pens
There was also the one about questions being asked in the Australian
parliament about 'I can't believe it's not butter'
Questions were asked - but they were along the lines of 'What is this
rubbish ?'
I suppose another way of drilling holes dead straight is to use a 1"
thick block of metal to act as a guide
Start off the hole in the wall then place drill bit in 'guide hole' in
the metal block and continue.
Having flaky walls I often land up with a vastly oversize hole, and
fill it with Plastic Padding, then simply insert the Rawlplug.
'No more nails' crack filler should be even better.
Norman
cretinous attitude that had the golliwog banned from Robinsons
Marmalade. There again the Race Relations Board only exists to further
its own existence. If I had been Mr. Robinson I would have relocated
outside the EU and thrown countless people out of work and suggested
that the RRB pay their wages until they find other employment (or
don't).
Certain advertising campaigns deliberately go out to shock, like the
United Colours of Benniton who relied on disgustingly bad taste to get
potential customers to remember their product name. The strange thing
is that they took such pride in their products and the smartness of
their outlets that they seemed to be targeting the wrong sector.
Some commercials are pretty gruesome but certain parts of the genre
seemed to have developed into its own art form. In a survey a few years
back the Guinness galloping white horses appearing out of the crashing
sea waves, won the popular vote. The one I liked never got a mention.
That was the Prudential one with the witless farmers yokel sitting on a
settee with his tarty girlfriend. He had the speaking role like "We
want a house with a gar-den". She did the voice-overs replying to
herself "I want to dump this cretin, marry a millionaire with a yacht
and go sailing around the world".
It finished with the guy leaning forward and saying "We want to be
together!" She replied with the best wan smile I have ever seen.
I thing all the contributors in this group use language reasonably
correctly, except when we go into dialect; thank you MS for your
spell-check but if language was not a living thing we would all go
around speaking like Geoffrey Chaucer. I once saw a library book in
England witch had maps of the big island with different speech
variations in shaded bubbles. For example "I am" was left white
where as "I be" was shaded in. It was quite an education to see how
extensive non-standard English is.
I have never heard pollution used in this way before however I can see
the link with idioms like "He is a waste of space", the connection
being waste not contamination. Now there is a word 'contaminate'. I
never knew what it meant until I was in junior school but I realised it
was bad and flies did it to your food. So much for confusing kids with
big words.
I like regional words where the sound of the word complements the
meaning. One of my favourite Lancashire words is Thrutching which
simply means Pushing and is not in the MS dictionary. For example,
"The crowd thrutched forward when the goal was scored" or
"Excessive play in the ley shaft caused the gears to thrutch together
before the synchromesh engaged."
Btw people from rural Lancashire never use the word 'The' ever.
"I went down road and caught bus to market but copper by crossroads
held up traffic for ten minutes and when I got there all good things
were gone".
Drew, you have said before that you are slightly dyslexic and find
sloppy English difficult to read. I am curious to know what you make of
this site, it's a short one.
http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/3561/Reading_Test.jpg
Since the original subject seems to have mutated into language, maybe I
will start a new one.
Best
Phil
Amzanig idened! I mgiht beg to dfiefr wtih teh lgioc hweoevr.
Dbuole lterets in a wrod mkae it dfuiicflt to raed.
Further, this reminds me that the English lettering can easily
be recognised by just the upper half of each character. This comes
in very handy when one's printer is running low on ink.
The other funny one is Spoonerism of course. The comedian
Dave Allan (R.I.P.) once made reference to Spooner. He tripped
up the words " .. a smart young fella' .. " as " .. a fart young
smeller ..".
Yes I know, not something that I woud usually share here, but funny.
Phil
Jerry
@Phil,
Take the Town Drain - is my classic favourite
Personally I am of the firm opinion that we should all speak RP and
argot (or dialect)
There is nothing funnier than lapsing into combined Mockney and Sarf
Lunnun when you know that someone is earwigging.
I also find it endearing when a Chinese lass speaks with a broad
Yorkshire, Lancastrian or Irish accent
- never met one with Devonshire or Skitisch yet
Reminds me of a time when I went to Spain on business, for tactical
reasons I took a 'respectable' mate with me who was a Highland Scot
with no identifiable accent (the new lass from the advertising agency
was due to join us, and I wanted to make it not look like a legover
situation)
Anyway one day before she arrived he decided that we should visit the
'low life area', there was some Scotland/Spain football match going on
and the place was heaving with Glaswegians.
After an execellent meal at a place called 'El Fish and Chips', run by
a Spanish guy with a gimpy leg (food was Tapas and chilled Rioja) we
ambled into this pub full of Scottish scallys
I opened my mouth - and was about to get filled in, when Martin located
the Boss Scally, after a burst of Highland Gaelic I was a protected
species.
The joke was that the Boss Scally had not the Gaelic
- actually he was quite a decent guy, running crowd control over his
bunch when the Carabinieri lined the motorway with troops carrying
automatics every 100 yards (metres ?) was getting to him, so he
welcomed a little 'concentration'.
Hmm - that puts me in mind of a new topic - 'Surreal Evenings'
Drew
Thick wodge of wood with a hole of the right diameter is a damned good
idea. Hadn't thought of that. Not quite so useful for carbide tips
'cos the end is thicker than the shank (Finbar Saunders) but would
sometimes help. Good one.
That web site was rather interesting Norman. Strangely enough I
didn't have too much difficulty with it, probably because it was
actually structured well enough and first and last letters are the
simplified keys which I use. How was it for you? Peter though, with
badly spaced words and random apostrophes just hurt my head. There was
a fascinating prog on TV a few weeks ago contending that there is no
such thing as dyslexia per se. Reasoning is that the term tends to be
applied to otherwise intelligent people who just can't quite master
the written word. For less intellegent poor readers, lack of facility
tends to be attributed simply to the poor intelligence. What was
demonstrated though (by brain scan etc) is that reading is a low level
function and even Downs syndrome sufferers often read very well. So in
my case, as with many engineers, reading is a bit of a chore. So rather
than being a passive relaxation it's actually quite tiring. Every
word has to be examined and 'translated', shunted round the brain
until it finds a place where it makes sense. Same is true for numbers
but I've got lots of pictures to help me out. Poor readers, as has
been discovered, don't process words in the usual low-level part of
the brain and it could be argued that the business of using grey matter
in unusual ways can equip one with the perversity of engineering
skills.
>the witless farmers yokel
Was indeed a good titter, only trouble is that I had no idea that it
was advertising, such is my inbuilt filter. Only ones that did stick
with me were the Rutger Hauer Guinness adds, so cool, but I never
acquired a taste for the black stuff.
>thrutch
That's super. So onomatopoeic.
You cheered me up Phil -- my computers are having bad hair days.
My fav mixed up words is "No nurse, I said prick his boil!" (my
sensibilities are less decorous than Phil.)
I once met a French girl who spoke English with a bizarre accent.
She'd learned in the Kingdom of Fife, Kirkcaldy. Poor lass, didn't
have the heart to tell her.
Best
Jerry
It was for Indian Tonic water
The setting was a cocktail party, someone was given a gin with 'the
wrong type of tonic', they discreeetly emptied into the water container
on a convenient parrot's cage.
A few seconds later, the parrot fell of its perch, stone dead.
The ad was a real hit, but had to be pulled
- something about feeding alcohol to animals.
I expect quite a lot of people are diagnosed with 'dyslexia', simply
because it is both convenient and politically correct.
Rather the same way just about every male kid nowadays seems to be
autistic or have Attention something Disorder.
Annoying, because it confuses the issue, some people (my youngest
brother for instance) respond to remedial training - although his
spelling is atrocious, he has no problem reading.
- over diagnosis leads to inappropriate (or no) treatment.
Out of interest, Drew, what are you like at pattern recognition, the
sort of thing they put in IQ tests ?
My guess would be pretty good, otherwise you would not be adept at
board level electronics.
Phil
(Never fear good chaps, I have taken Norman's advice on the utilisation
of internet cafes. I will check in from time to time. Should either of
you
wish to contact me, I will be sending my new e-mail address to each of
you personally).
Anyway the variation .. I occasionally treat myself to an excellent
Chinese meal from the local take-away. Invariably, the very attractive
Chinese girl asks me if I would like a fork included with my purchase.
Her rendition in broken English could at times be misconstrued should
the setting not be within the confines of a small restaurant.
It generally goes something like this:
"Beef and blackbean with rice, and sweet and sour pork with noodles
please"
You want fok?
"Yes please" !!
You want 2 foks?
"Just one for now thanks".
I think that she believes I am just being polite when I smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope to catch you lot again soon.
Norman, if you happen to read this .. HAVE YOU RECEIVED MY
E-MAILS ?
I will be off the air as of tomorrow, Friday (no today, as it's now
after
midnight my time). I hope that this post makes it.
All the very best to my collective mates.
Kind regards as always,
Phil
Norman
contact me directly. We will all stay in touch.
Hope you can find a local i-café or other way to stay in contact mate.
Go off and enjoy your Chinese meal with all the extras.
Two quick Chinese takeaway stories before you go.
The girl in one had a truly amazing memory. On a Saturday night when
the pubs emptied and everyone packed in the shop she would point around
the room, perhaps twenty people in the queue and take everyone's
order, never wrote a single thing down and never so far as I know got a
single thing wrong. Once when I had a work order from mainland China I
asked her, as a bit of PR on my side, to teach me the Chinese counting
system so I could mark the part numbers in Chinese.
Once you have the basic symbols that correspond with 0 - 9 it is
fairly logical, multiples of 10 are a bit weird but the bits in between
follow on so far as I remember.
The other one concerns a nearby takeaway, where I used to chat with the
lady owner. One conversation went like this.
Her It is Chinese New Year today.
Me Oh, what year is it this year?
Her It's the year of the (Goat)?
Me I was born in 1944 so what animal does that make me?
Her I think you are a (Rat)?
Me Oh - and what animal are you?
Her I was born in the year of the Rabbit
Me (With poker face) Ah, so you are a little bunny then?
Her Yes
Everyone else in the shop was covering their face with their hands.
When we got outside my mate said to me "So, you are a little bunny
then"!
One final one before I go; the biggest Doh! Moment I ever heard of
(just wish I had been there to seen it) concerned a guy who worked in
the labs at ICI who had the hots for this Chinese girl colleague. This
is unbelievable but I swear the story is true. Most people would have
gone along the tried and tested route of idle chat to find common
interests and either asking her out for a drink or game of squash or
whatever and taking it from there. Dave however did not do things the
normal way. He thought, I will learn a few Chinese phrases which I can
trot out, this will impress her and she will like me. So off he went to
learn some Chinese, signed up for a night school course and after three
years (yes three years), he figured he knew enough that he would be
able to reply to whatever she said back to him. Even more unbelievably
they were still working together. One day he picked his moment and said
to her - maybe something along the lines of "hey darling fancy
going down the disco with me this weekend". To which she replied
"What"? So he did it again, and she said "I'm sorry Dave but
you are speaking in Mandarin and I only understand Cantonese" -
Doh! Talk about living next door to Alice.
Hope I have left you with a few laughs Phil.
Best of luck
Norman
Drew
Quite agree with the dyslexia diagnosis trend, attention disorder too.
There are of course genuine cases but parents and teachers seem hell
bent these days on finding an acceptable reason or excuse why 'little
Johnny' is not keeping up. Apparently thick as s*** or just bad are
not acceptable. Me, I'm only a wee bit word blind and it was only
pointed out to me a dozen years ago by a fellow engineer. Actually what
he said was "Either you're thick as s*** or dyslexic." Everyone
has their weaknesses and we work-around, either by avoiding situations
or just doing things differently. Yes pattern recognition is a dawdle
but it has its repercussions, such as when I see a group of black and
white cows in a field I automatically look for the matching pair. Never
had any problem reading circuit diagrams or mouse control, which of my
mother I described (much to her repeated amusement) 'like a spastic
on drugs'. Other apparently simple things are totally confusing,
however I'm reasonably comfortable with the knowledge that my brain
just doesn't work quite right. Could go on at length about the
peculiarities of word-blindness but I shouldn't be indulged unless
you really want it from the thing with four legs and a tail and a long
face's mouth.
High giggle factor on the Chinese stories :-) :-)
A little contribution.... in an Edinburgh Chinese cerry oot (carry out)
I asked for my order then the wee chap called me an asshole.
("That's all?")
Best
Jerry
- I expect you'll find a WiFi system nearby
- a mate of mine sniffed round his fairly rural area and was surprized
to find a couple of open networks. Free IP access :-}
@Norman
I used to supply a system to a Bank in Singapore, one day I realized
that one of the girls there was a Cantonese speaker, and the rest spoke
Mandarin
- they communicated via Singlish
- actually I got pretty good at that dialect ...
@Drew
I suspected that you were hot on pattern recognition
- the chances are that something went wrong in your early education,
and you were not taught to read in a 'user friendly manner'
(the educational system has been screwed up for years).
Probably it was compounded by going for a 'technical' discipline, where
most reading matter is 90% incomprehensible
- although I can scan read most normal stuff, many times, with so
called technical papers, I find myself having to use a sheet of paper
to read it 'line by line'.
Fortunately I am sufficiently arrogant to know that I'm trying to read
something written by a pretentious, inarticulate idiot, rather than
doubt my ability to comprehend the written word.
I would suggest that you pick up a racy novel (say Frederick Forsythe)
and see whether you have problems reading it.
Also, some 12 years ago I employed a young engineer as a programmer,
his verbal and written skills were lousy, he now runs/owns a smallish
but very prosperous business, and is a stickler for spelling,
presentation and grammar.
My father was a MechE and Tech Director of a fairly substantial UK
company, he was well p*ssed of that engineers were assumed to be louts
with grease under their fingernails. Consequently he ran a form of
'charm school' to ensure that his lads were socially adept.
People slip into stereotypes - and then get locked into them.
Drew
considerably better than later efforts. Not really the problem,
difficult to describe, though it is highly unreasonable that in genetic
terms the average person should be able to read at all. Not that I
usually indulge myself by explaining the problem to others, by and
large I work-around. But since you express interest.......
Can't scan read because every word has to be examined almost letter
by letter. If there is a spelling mistake I see something wrong but
often can't see what. Maybe a couple of letters will be transposed
but even when the spell check shows what it should be, it can take
several seconds comparing the two words before it (sometimes) becomes
apparent. Same is true for numbers, horribly so. Creating order sheets
is a nightmare and telephone numbers freak me out because every digit
has to be read individually, even then I repeatedly make mistakes. A
work-around for more than one digit, use all available 'registers'.
Sound, pictures, association, feeling etc. Bleedin hard work though.
Everything has to be cross checked by different brain pathways to
ensure that they all agree. It's like being blind but working out if
the sun is shining by feeling the heat, listening for grasshoppers,
people saying "it's a nice day", etc. As for reading, mouthing
words helps a lot. So it doesn't really matter if it's Winnie the
Poo or esoteric analogue electronics, always slow hard work. Perhaps my
favourite authors are Thomas Hardy and Olaf Stapledon who many people
find turgid and wordy. Well I guess they are, but the structure is
precise and I can key in to the emotion so it's much easier than say
the highly rated Ian M Banks who I just can't be bothered with, or
worse, the Hugo winner C J Cherryh who in my opinion is excruciatingly
awful. Basically though, for such as I there is no direct route from
the written word (or numbers) to consciousness, and the whole business
of reading is relaying information by circuitous routes until it
impacts on something. Always side roads because the motorways haven't
been built, but hey there's a hell of a lot of far more interesting
stuff to be seen in narrow lane hedgerows :-)
Perhaps an example will illuminate. I have a four drawer chest of
drawers in which the middle two drawers have jerseys and socks. After
twenty years, I still can't remember which drawer is which. No
rational reason why one should be for one or the other and I
emotionally differentiate between the two drawers. However, I'll give
it another twenty years before I admit defeat and write 'jerseys'
on one and 'socks' on the other.
Sparky engineers don't get durty so we don't need charm school.
That's the theory, but electronics gets applied to absolutely
everything in industry and I have been variously soaked in filthy
water, covered in grease, or head to foot in noxious substances -- and
that's just the canteens!
Yes I heartily agree with your young engineer's renewed approach to
verbal and written skills. OK I ain't perfect but I do try hard to
get it right. Also when one has a degree of mastery one is obliged to
bend the rules in the interest of engaging language. I did mean
'durty' in the previous paragraph and I'm sure your mistakes were
also intentional.
Best
Jerry
Memories are rather distant, but I think I spent two years there.
My mother was an infant teacher and got a job in an incredibly rural
school, literally in the boondocks, and I went there.
Since the locals were inbred, I barely bothered with the lessons, since
I would do a term's work in a week. Not because I was especially
bright, but because the rest were incredibly thick.
When we moved to St Albans I was sent to a rather peculiar school
(supposedly) run on the principles of Rudolf Steiner. It was very mixed
ability.
To give you an idea, I only learnt English grammar from German. To a
great extent I taught myself from text books. For A levels I insisted
on transferring to the local direct grant school, as I realized that I
had no chance of getting into a decent university without good grades.
I hasten to add that I was not particularly nerdish, was very keen on
motor bikes and enjoyed drinking in dubious company.
I think that I probably learnt quite a lot from reading, I would read
just about anything, although I suspect that I did not really
understand much of it.
My youngest brother started off in the Steiner school, where they did
not really teach anything until one was six. I suspect that delayed his
reading and was responsible for his lousy spelling, which incidentally
had no negative effect on his career.
Curiously he is a 'card counter', therefore lethal at poker.
Your case sounds rather interesting, my suspicion is that it is
aggravated because you are acutely conscious of the problem - a sort of
self induced spasm.
Not necessarily such a bad thing when it comes to checking part
numbers.
Quite a lot of people are blissfully unaware of their shortcomings.
I would like to try a small trick on the jumper/sock drawers thing, a
variation of something I read in a book by Edward de Bono. If you tell
me which drawer contains the socks, I'll suggest a way of remembering
which contains what.
Have you tried breaking telephone numbers into two digit pairs - as
they do on the continent ?
I also have problems with telphone numbers, and frequently misdial, in
my case I have to break them into groups of three digits, and be very
careful.
Programmers, like sparkies, don't need to be particularly polite, most
of my clients have suffered a thorough kicking when they've asked for
something stupid, the smart ones learn to explain the problem, and
leave the solution to me.
The programmers that I despise are the ones that write to
specification, even when they know that the spec is wrong.
BTW I fully agree about Ian Banks, I can only remember one of his
books, but the only reason I finished it was because I could not
believe it could get any worse. It did.
Norman
Everybody has heard of the charge of the light brigade but not
everybody realises that in the same battle there was a charge of the
heavy brigade also. It was led by Will Scarlet who had the position
handed down to him and through genetic incompetance he hadn't much of
a clue about tactics. So when he charged the guns uphill because nobody
had told him he couldn't, the enemy were so taken aback they ran
away. That's not a bad attitude to keep knocking the obstacles out of
the way as they appear. I also am a slow reader and although I read the
shape of the word and that link I gave you was no problem for me, Chris
can read a whole book whilst I am on chapter three. I find reading a
book tiring and need many breaks whereas Chris gets totally immersed.
That's why I find reading strips as a way of learning Nederland's
where the pictures compliment the words is OK for me. One thing, when
my typing goes over a certain speed I often miss out the last letter of
a word and finish it off with the first letter of the next word.
There was a theory around a couple of years ago that the part of the
brain which makes some people fall over their feet is the same part
that makes them fall over their words. It was essentially a balance /
inner ear problem and a minor operation to take fluid pressure from the
inner ear and a bit of training largely sorted out balance and dyslexia
problems. That's what was claimed anyway.
By the way, do you know what DNA is?
It's the National Dyslexia Association.
About your chest of drawers, firstly when I was a kid I thought that
like Chelsea buns came from Chelsea, chest of drawers came from
Chester. Hey ho! I guess there is no excuse for being stupid.
If the jerseys are in the top and the socks in the bottom then that's
the way round that you wear them, jerseys on top, socks on bottom. If
it is the other way round, either change the drawers or remember that
drawers are the wrong way round.
I will tell you Drew that Dutch telephone numbers still freak me out.
Instead of saying say thirty seven, they say seven and thirty, this
means that big numbers are broken into groups of two and the second bit
is said first - except if the first digit of the group is a zero and
then it is said forward - seven and thirty, null four etc. What a
system, they are the only nation in Europe that still hangs on to it. I
was surprised when you said that you had problems with numbers also
especially when you told a story a few weeks back that you misplaced
your calculator and resorted to working out square roots by hand.
I think the Dutch have suffered the scorn of other nations over the
years but some of it at least is self inflicted; double Dutch; Dutch
auction, Dutch elm disease, going Dutch, and worst of all Dutch
courage.
I don't know about Singlish, that guy in ICI was a strange bone. He
joined in ok with the lab banter and silliness that made the day go
round but he was a social F**k up. Essentially he was a mummy's boy.
He is the only guy I ever heard about who thought it was normal to
include his mother on a date, I can only imagine what the poor girl
thought. When he found someone who would go out with him more than
twice what did he go and buy her for Christmas? You are not going to
get it so I will tell you - loving spoons! He probably thought he
was doing something really sweet but can you imaging what sort of
reaction they would get?
"That's nice Dave? - what are they"?
"They are loving spoons"
"Oh"?
Or even in conversation with her mates afterwards.
"What did your boyfriend get you for Christmas"?
"Spoons".
"What"?
"Spoons".
"Eh"?
"Yeh"
I am sure there is more to write but I can't think what it is.
Best
Drew
What would happen if one bred the Kent inbreds with the Girvan area
similars. Would the genes relinquish their hold or would you just end
up with red haired yokels? An interesting thought on eugenics.
Rudolf Steiner. Mmmm. Always thought it was a front for something
dubious, suspecting tax evasion. I've had not one, but two
girlfriends who passed through those cloudy cloisters of learning.
Eurhythmics, by buggery. Otherwise peculiarly slight regard to learning
anything actually useful and the second girlfriend terminated her
schooling at 13 or 14, never again to ever enter a house of knowledge.
Curiously enough she turned out fine too and also shared my enjoyment
of Hardy and Winnie the Poo. Actually come to think of it perhaps
Rudolph and his eurhythmics were responsible for her ability and
penchant for putting her feet behind her head at certain times.
>acutely conscious of the problem
Not exactly. We are of course discussing here not in the confessional
sense, nor I think do we have need, but just a shared interest in the
working of minds, and who better to examine than oneself. Purely
objective. I guess I've always been conscious of 'difficulties'
but it was like in the sense being aware of limitations and evolving
methods to improve performance. I don't think it necessarily a good
idea to classify conditions because one then has a pat excuse and to an
extent one can be drawn confirming it by action. Far better to simply
acknowledge a weakness, whether it be mental or physical, and gently
focus on ways to ameliorate it. Perhaps not touchy feely PC, but
'nuff said on *that* subject! Also of course explore the things which
one is good at.
Had to check which drawer is which. Top *is* actually jerseys, good one
Norman, but it may not be tomorrow. I suspect that the cosmos plays a
trick on me and switches them around like when you check the label on
the back of a jersey or vest etc, when you put it on it has suddenly
turned round the other way. So your system Jerry? Actually I
semi-consciously have never evolved a system in the hope that
continually confronting the problem (and numerous others) will
eventually reinforce brain pathways. Had my Guzzi for near on 25 years
and still have to look up tyre pressures.
Telephone numbers. Very common for people to have moderate difficulty
with them but Duchland has just been crossed of my list of places to
retire to. Breaking down to groups of three is tricky because they come
out in the wrong order. I can just about do six numbers by reading
three out and remembering the sound they make, then storing a visual
image for the other three. If very lucky some of the numbers will be
memorable, like 741 (operational amplifier), 320 (Airbus), 109
(transistor), 87 (Stuka), 69 (fill in the blank), etc, where the number
is visually synonymous with the object. To a degree, we all do tricks
like this, just some of us have to use them more intently than others.
So yes I can do longhand square roots because I do have a mathematical
brain, just not very good at it. Can use many number systems (decimal,
hex, binary, grey scale, BCD, log base 10, natural logs, radians,
octal, 2s compliment variations, exponentials, imaginary in its three
forms etc), just can't count properly in any of them.
Ian Banks, Scottish you know. Lives in North Queensferry, decent chap,
just don't rate his writing. I think mine is much better, so there.
Bet it was The Wasp Factory Jerry.
Do you not find occasionally Norman, even though you too don't read
so well, that if the story grabs you there comes a tip-over point where
immersion dominates fatigue and you end up reading without being aware
of the effort? Bit like sex, which is the only occasion when many of us
break sweat by physical exertion but we don't really pay heed to this
till we are done. Anyway, sounds like you have a touch of the
word-blindness thing too, missing out letters. Concur, but substitute
complete words for letters! :-)
>that guy in ICI
How reassuring. Makes me fell so relatively normal. There is a new
topic there, 'weirdo's I've worked with'. Go for it Captain.
Best
Jerry
has said that the locals were inbred so she had few problems at school.
Possibly that is one of the reasons why we turned up there - they built
their own house in a hamlet which was quite unusual in those days.
Steiner schools are a bit peculiar in the UK, the kids tend to turn out
Ok, but they are far from ideal for anyone with the remotest academic
ability.
Generally about three kids in a class of 25 to 30 would be leagues
ahead of the rest.
You are right about Eurithmics, it is pretty tedious, but in hindsight
it does give one a good sense of balance. I eventually managed to skive
out of it.
Just about all the teachers had had interesting careers before
converting to Steinerism, so our chemistry teacher knew all about how
to steal gold from a South African gold mine, one German teacher
(female) had been in the Dutch Resistance and our physics teacher was a
practical mechanical engineer.
Also our history teacher was a Scottish journalist who had done the
regionals and Fleet Street.
Hmm, and the gym teacher was an American ex-marine.
With hindsight they were quite an interesting bunch.
Rudolf Steiner himself was not necessarily a con, more of a slightly
mystic philosopher. In Germany the Waldorf Schools (as they are called)
are respected institutions, which is why the kleptomania I mentioned
earlier was so peculiar.
Apart from jumpers rotating themselves mysteriously, I find that
underpants turn themselves inside out - most peculiar.
Norman stole my thunder on the memory trick, you wear jumpers higher up
than socks, so they have to be stored higher up.
Actually Einstein said why bother with memory when you can look things
up, I'm not sure that I entirely agree, but I sort of get his point.
I've noticed that people with photographic memories tend not to be so
good at reasoning, which is quite a useful cop out.
The Ian Banks book I was referring to was called (I think) 'The Train'
I had forgotton that he wrote The Wasp Factory
- I found that one rather interesting
Reverting to the main topic, I also find it really interesting how
different minds work, generally I reckon that a weakness in one area is
compensated for in another
... or perhaps the 'weakness' is a by product of the strength.
Drew
was that it was an eccentric middle class affair, ergo reasonably self
motivated, manageable kids. Basically left to educate themselves. I was
never in the Edinburgh 'school' but did visit the campus in
Aberdeen. Lots of money, a tame deer in the park. On reflection, my
misgiving of the place was probably inspired by the apparent
non-confrontational mode of schooling, not my personal experience of
our 50s and 60s educational system. Reassuring to hear that even there
PE teachers are borderline psychopathic.
So it's not just me, I'm not imagining it, clothes *do* rotate all
by themselves. My most plausible scenario is that time is put on hold
by superior aliens, for reasons which are beyond our meagre
comprehension, and whilst we are in stasis they turn the skiddies
round.
Perhaps what you say about photographic memory is true. I have one of
course but the exposure is completely screwed up. Certainly my bro has
a very good memory but as I've said before, hell does he miss the
point. He also (erroneously) believes his memory is infallible. Can
think of other cases too, but also brilliant people who can almost
match qualities which by force I have had to capitalise upon. Lovely
sparkly minded Chinese guy I was at college with did sod all work and
got a first. Whilst mere mortals were slaving away he became proficient
at table tennis. Makes ye puke, don't it!
So yes, one does often compensate for weaknesses but there has to be
another element. Intellectual motivation? It dawned on me at the age of
20 that I was a frustrated intellectual but not every relatively dumb
person comes to this awareness or is inclined to do anything about it.
I've never really resolved this conflict because it invokes all
manner of intangible aspects of mind and brain. Is it a consciousness
thing? One sometimes finds oneself saying if I had the brain of such
and such I would do so much more with it than they have. But that
assumes that the brain is a compartmentalised thing composed of
discrete components. Just not really so. Whatdya think?
Best
Norman
Rudolph Steiner was and couldn't be bothered looking him up. From hat
you are saying it seems like an experiment that was tried in a
particular inner city part of Liverpool in the early 70's where
absenteeism was endemic. It was called the Free School and as well as
not having to pay for it the kids didn't actually have to turn up if
they didn't want to which sorted out the raging absenteeism figures
quite nicely. It was up to the teachers to make the lessons interesting
enough for the kids to want to go so if they didn't it was the
teachers fault and not the kids. Maths probably consisted of counting
cards and working out betting slips. Still it was politically correct
and no one could fault that as a method of turning out well rounded
citizens.
Yes there are kids who can do it without any apparent effort, I was in
the 6th with a guy that once talked about staying on for an extra year
or two to get an extra three 'A's because he thought it was better
to apply to Oxford with six good 'A's rather than the usual three.
And yes it does make you want to puke.
I have an idea that at the age of twenty, you were probably a beatnik
that had outgrown all your mates but still wanted to be in with the in
crowd.
Would it not be an absolute wheeze that after a night on the scrumpy,
the aliens that rotate your socks came by and put someone else's name
on the back of your hand - perhaps Rudolph Steiner.
Best
Jerry
people it is held in a Petri dish, and in others in one or more
capilliary tubes.
I've also a feeling that processor, RAM and EEPROM come into play
It certainly is daunting when one runs into people who can pick things
up effortlessly, although they are generally a bit blind in other
areas.
For example, Oxford used to set its own entrance exams - one would take
ones A levels, then do an extra term cramming for their exams, have a
whole load of interviews and get an offer (or kiss off) shortly before
Christmas. One would then have the best part of a year before going
up.
@Norman, your six A level contemporary probably did not realize how the
system worked, in effect he wasted the best part of a year when all
they were really interested in was their own exam results.
- or maybe someone put him right, since you only said that he talked
about it.
Actually I think the year off idea is excellent, as it makes a defined
break between school and Uni, personally I would implement it for all
kids.
The Steiner schools were not exactly as you described, that sounded
more like Summerhill.
Attendance was far from optional, although with a little cunning one
could skive off certain things.
In some ways it was quite good because it focussed on teaching 'general
knowledge', which is useful in later life, where it fell down was that
it was not very good at the exam sausage machine - which is pretty
important in the UK
@Drew
Most 'intellectuals' I've run into are pretentious jerks.
The skill (in my view) lies in distilling fairly complicated things
down to something earthy that other people can easily understand.
Norman
pretentious and jerky. Talking to all people on all levels is indeed a
skill not acquired by many.
Best
Norman
processes.
Jerry
- we all regarded him as rather thick (actually he was), he had got in
by the back door to study theology
Interestingly, I've found that when translated into plain English, most
bullsh*t is pretty trivial.
It's a bit like 'The King's New Clothes' where on closer examination he
is just wearing a thong.
BTW - although it is corny, I've always rated Rudyard's 'If' -
although I liked the Lindsay Anderson film of the same name.
Drew
concur. I spent a year on the railway before uni because of failed
maths and had to sit it externally (got a self-taught B). Certainly
made a difference having experienced the real world but one thing upset
me. On the railway we played cards in bothys on wet days. Good guys on
the team but no aspiration for education because no one had ever told
them that they were actually quite bright. Some of them would whip me
at cards and crosswords, but I was supposed to be the bright one.
Hopefully I managed to incentivize, but I felt that it was a terrible
indictment on education and social systems.
My ex's sister, small and real purdy, is chief oil buyer for **** in
S. America. Made it purely on mental ability, learns a language in a
month or two. But hell she doesn't get jokes! So maybe mince for
brains has it's compensations.
Still a beatnik. In fact my that's what my maths lecturer called me
once. Actually I feel the beatnik, head, hippy, suburbanite transition
is seamless. Old hippies don't die, they just smell like it -- as
I'm sure you've heard.
Know what you mean about 'intellectuals' Jerry. Tiresome awfully
clever talk shows tend to confirm this. But I include luminaries such
as Jonathon Miller, Stephen Fry, physicists, mathematicians etc. as
being the genuine article. Grade 'A' brains wouldn't deign to
sully their intelligence by dalliance with Mensa, best described as a
bunch of misbegotten onanists.
Saw the film 'If' but never got round to reading it. Thought
provoking, but I preferred Buffy. Incidentally there is a new Sci Fi
flick just hitting the screens called 'Serenity' which is a child
of Buff's creator and it's getting raves from even non aficionados.
Oh yes and there is a full length Wallace and Grommet film near release
which to my mind will have more intellectual authority than 2000 years
of philosophy.
Best
Jerry
- a valuable experience
I also did Maths (Pure and Stats) and got a B solely because I was good
at the pure
- on the Stats side I pretty nearly flunked, somehow it never really
clicked until a few years later, even now I sort of smell a rat in
Stats
However I've had the satisfaction of seeing that in real life Stats are
generally totally misunderstood and misapplied.
A couple of nights ago I was listening to two stage directors prattling
on about their productions of Macbeth - I just about managed to prevent
myself thumping the radio.
My favourite pseud is Sir Roy Strong - the guy is almost totally
inarticulate underneath the verbiage.
I too am looking forward to Wallace & Grommet, apparently it was backed
by Disney - I just hope they haven't screwed it up.
Regards
Drew
with stats. It's the way it was taught though, and of course the way
it is used. Every bleedin scientific calculator has standard deviation
which I have never ever used. Personally I feel there is nothing
standard at all about my deviation.
However, at the base of stats is some rather cool maths. Only recently
did I find out that the exponential form of complex numbers is derived
from series (Taylor?). Perhaps not very appropriately I group series
and stats together, but hey Gaussian distribution is right on. Not of
course that this is of the slightest concern to lies, damned lies and
statistics mongers.
Think I sort of heard that 'Scottish Play' discussion too but based
upon the fact that my ears switched off it was probably driv. Coming
back to me a bit, they rabbiting on about how long Mr & Mrs Macbeth had
been married and dissecting the witches. Good yarn, but so is Wallace &
Grommet. Why don't these intellectuals scrutinize the inner
motivations of Wallace and chew over the pivotal imperative of cheese
in his consciousness?
Best
Drew
in'. Keeps changing.
Norman
have just come to the theory that actors spend so long out of work that
when they do get the chance to take part in something serious they feel
they have to talk it up in order to maintain their position. I will
wholeheartedly agree that some do take themselves far more seriously
than they should. I heard an actor, can't remember who now, being
interviewed on the radio years ago and in reply to the question of why
he thought he was so popular, he thought for a moment and then said
"I think they (the audience) admire the way I stand". Nuff said.
I was not that good at maths and statistics is one of those subjects
that I understood whilst it was being explained but if the teacher
would have asked me to explain it back to him again, I would have been
looking at my shoes and kicking stones. I once did a series of
experiments in the lab and presented them in a report. A couple of
weeks later my boss said someone higher up had passed them to a
statistician for comment and his opinion was that my presentation was a
load of bollox. I said "Well it makes sense to me; what is his
conclusion about the chemistry that is going on here". But of course
he didn't have one. I thought that trends are just trends whichever
way you wrap them up. Maybe I could have done it in a more
intellectually satisfying way but in my view, the same information
would have been up or down the axis of the graph.
Do any of you ever have the feeling that there are things you feel you
should know about but you realise you are not going to come to terms
with before you die? What a morbid subject.
Wtr beta group and browsers; don't ask why I do this, but I can be in
the group in Opera, close it and open up in Firefox to be told that I
am not a member and I have to sign in, go straight back to Opera and
all is OK, that is why I think this log in thing is generated by the
browser and not by Google, unless the log in requirement is generated
every so many times accessed. Another couple of things I have noticed
are the left hand panel usually presents itself in tree form with a box
around. If you elect not to have the box, not that it makes that much
difference, there is no way you can go back to having the box. Also the
same goes for the 'show as tree' option, if you view as list you
can't go back to the tree, at least I can't, unless you go by way
of restarting the computer. This is very strange, I suppose somebody
will eventually get round to sorting it out.
Best
Jerry
- I posted something in 'Smarty Pants' and it took 24 hours to turn up.
I also did 'The Scottish Play' twice, once for O level under London and
once for A Level under O&C
- I expect they did not expect people to change exam boards
My take was that Macbeth was a competent war lord, and Duncan was a
tosser declaring succession to a pimply youth in a threatened regime
where the hereditary principle was an exception rather than the rule.
Malcolm (and also Macduff) were renegades who brought the 'Auld Enemy'
- England into the fray.
Banquo was happy to keep stumm - since he had obviously anticipated
Dawkin's 'Selfish Gene'
Shakespeare was, as usual, walking a tightrope, as he was both
confirming and questioning the legitimacy of James I (and VI).
Needless to say, my analysis was controversial, since few people had
bothered to consider what a liability Duncan was.
@Norman
A lot of configuration stuff is stored as 'Cookies', they are little
files tucked away in something like:
c:\windows\cookies\*.*
Probably different browsers use different storage locations - also what
is in the Cookie is defined by the web server that put them there.
@Drew
You definitely heard the same drivel
- unfortunately my filters are not as good as yours
In general when I smell a rat about something, I get a sort of neck
prickling (not thumbs) and worry it over for even years.
Statistics make me very uneasy, the probability of a sample being
vaguely representative strikes me as being very low, especially in real
life situations.
Generally the samples that are 'collected' are the easy ones, and those
'samples' are well aware that they are being scrutinized.
Also the concept of a 'normal' or 'Poisson' distribution is very
unlikely in real life.
Say a machine goes on the wonk, chances are it will be fixed or shut
down before the next 'random' sample is taken - so the chances are that
a spike will be missed.
But ... I also don't like JIT
And I've got a classic tale of a mega SNAFU in project evaluation (DCF)
to relate.
Regards
Drew
professionals external to this group) for statistics, wherein lies
their authority? As Jeremy Paxman would say "Ye-essss." Heavy duty
numerical analysis is of course a valuable tool, regardless that I
still don't like it. Pretty important in physics, medicine and
chemistry. But as you say, in the 'out to take over your minds'
world, data sampling can be very selective. Wonder how Lite-On came to
their 75000 hrs MTBF in my combo drive which was always a wee bit
grumpy and after seven months became decidedly curmudgeonly. However
all credit to Amazon who said just send it back and we'll refund
postage too. Absolutely super service from Amazon.
MTBF is a stats area which really irks me. I designed some military
stuff once and was asked to do a MTBF analysis (or pass it on to
someone who could). I just said it'll work for years. "So how do
you know that?" I was asked. "Because I designed it," I said.
"Not good enough" they said. So I plucked a figure from the air and
they went away happy.
>Do any of you ever have the feeling that there are things you feel you should know about but you realise you are not going to come to terms with before you die?
Oh god yes! All the time! It's the mark of a true intellectual. The
little compartment at the back of my brain which stores all the things
I want to eventually understand is full to bursting point.
Impressed Jerry, with your comprehensive knowledge and interpretation
of 'The Scottish Play'. The only line I remember is "Ach jings,
Ah cannae get ah this blood aff ma hauns." I do believe though that
Shakespeare did Macbeth a disservice. One of our better kings as I
heard it said.
Thankfully I've never been at the dirty end of JIT but many's the
time it's had to be ready yesterday. Guess we've all been there. Do
though relate your SNAFU story, perhaps related to the USA / Europe
date difference, ie 11/9 as opposed to 9/11. Oh how we have laughed at
*these* screw ups :-(
Best
Jerry
lived that long.
A convoluted way of saying that crystal balls are necessary.
My guess is that most MTBF figures are design targets.
The SNAFU was not that exciting, but it still strikes me as rather
interesting.
A large UK PLC had a number of semi autonomous companies, primarily
because it was the result of a merger between two companies that only
had their management consultants in common.
Finance head office had a bright accountant who figured:
1) Average tax rate was 15%
2) Cost of capital (interest rate) was 12%
Therefore all projects needed to break even with an internal rate of
return of 27%
eg: Discounted Current Value of zero, with an interest rate of 27% was
the minimum requirement for even considering a project.
I smelt a rat, but could not put my finger on it for some months -
after I got back to college.
The guy was completely wrong
The 15% tax should have been deducted each year as a one off from nett
revenue.
This completely froze capital expenditure for a number of years, and
nobody had even questioned it.
My suspicion was that people had equated 27% with 3 year payback - when
it was nothing of the sort.
Drew
-- accountants. Can't recall if they have been explicitly mentioned
before, but it's universally implicit. Wonder if your accountant had
a covert 'agenda'.
There are actually all manner of clever formulae for calculating MTBF.
Taken very seriously they are -- and a complete pile of jobbies.
Anyway, apart from crap design, now't kills like time. Accelerated
lifetime tests on cars just cannot simulate hardening of seals,
sludging oil, condensation in a warm garage etc. Wee tip, at the end of
the season don't power wash your combine harvester. Leave it dirty
and only wash it the day before harvest, otherwise you'll find your
chains and races spend nine months rotting.
Best
Drew
Norman
It is funny really how everybody achieves their preordained position in
society. Everybody is much of an opinion about accountants, but speak
to an accountant about a banker and he will probably spit on the floor.
Have you thought that if there was only indirect tax there wouldn't
be any accountants or to put it the other way round direct tax exists
to keep accountants in jobs.
MTBF; as far as home appliances are concerned, fridges and freezers
will outlast most humans the only reason most people change them is
because they look old fashioned but things which involve water or more
to the point water quality are the first to go.
When I was a kid I remember people saying "I am going to the seaside
this weekend so I have given the car a good service". Now people sit
in, turn the key and expect it to get them there without any second
thought. I remember when Ford brought out their 'Belt Driven
Assembly' everybody had to have a BDA but I am convinced that this
was a ploy to lower the MTBF in order to sustain their service centres.
There was nothing wrong with chains except that the tensioner sometimes
became a bit noisy and that could have been sorted with less effort
than a whole new concept.
Nowadays most people see fuel efficiency as important when choosing a
car so where can this extra efficiency come from? Reducing the body
thickness is the obvious one and 0.7mm is the lowest manufacturers want
to go for car body strip (most likely the paint is thicker). It is a
curious thought but your tin of baked beans which you so casually
discard, probably has a greater thickness of steel than one of the most
important purchases of your life. One of the subconscious criteria
people use to judge a car's quality is the sound the door makes when
it is closed and a great deal of science has gone into making a tinny
door close with a deep but muffled clunk. That however doesn't stop
the body falling off the frame as Citroen and Metro owners well know
(to name but two).
I must remember that trick with the combine harvester though. When I
was a hairy arsed yahoo it was quite the thing to have a protective
layer of grime on your sports car.
Best.
Jerry
difficult.
The text books were appalling, so it was simply a matter of saying:
'right now translate that into plain English'
I quite like to know the enemy.
Norman, you are spot on about the taxation stuff, it also goes for
corporate taxation, accountancy firms 'low ball' for the audit work and
hope to make it up on tax and 'consultancy'.
Hmm, and I just love the sampling techniques they use in auditing.
In about 1984 I did a contract rewriting the UK's most used Personal
Taxation system from DG mini it PC, so I reckoned myself pretty good in
that area.
When I saw the first self assessment form, I was at a complete loss.
Eventually I found the rate table, subtly buried in text in the middle
of the instruction tome.
The stupid thing is that anyone making real money does not pay tax,
trusts, offshore, service companies, farms - you name it there are so
many tax dives - they just cost to set up.
I've never understood the reason for belts driving the OHC, there is a
perfectly good flywheel, and if one does not use that, the cost of a
vertical shaft and a few cogs must be pretty trivial.
The best method I've found for getting a protective layer on a car, is
to keep it under a hawthorn tree, that stick sap never comes off, and
attracts a thick layer of dirt that gets baked on in the sun.
Norman
I mention this because I once spoke to an accountant who had never
questioned it before so maybe it is not so well known. Excuses if you
already know it.
It stems from the days when England was getting regularly bashed by the
Spanish; the French and Scandies etc. Britain raised local taxes for
Costal Defence but then someone realised that if we do suffer a
successful invasion the marauders are not going to stay around the
coast and that everybody in the land would be affected and so should
contribute. We then had a Coastal Defence Revenue and an Inland
Revenue. Eventually, once the system became established, the money went
into a general kitty and just like Road Tax became Car Tax the Coastal
Defence Revenue was dropped and just became Inland Revenue. Interesting
huh.
Jerry, I couldn't agree more about the offshores and the trusts etc.
It is the sort of thing you frown upon until you have real money and
then it suddenly becomes alright.
Btw, did you mean hawthorn or hornbeam; perhaps you did mean hawthorn?
Best.
Jerry
- interesting
Of course now we have National Insurance and Income Tax - a similar
scam.
The joke is that (I think it was) Ernest Bevan said 'National Insurance
Fund' - what Fund ?
With taxation, I find it very interesting looking for the loopholes -
they normally apply to members of Parliament. For example that great
Naval Hero, Callaghan somehow managed to have a s*dding great farm
- very nifty for slipping in expences
- and even better for slipping out of Death Duties (as they then were)
Of course, the other joke is that a large chunk of the 'lower end' of
our work force exist in a cash based economy - so it is just the
suckers in the middle that get it in the neck.
At one time 'expenses' made life tolerable, but the introduction of
that perverse P11d created an enormous amount of work, and closed the
loophole.
The stupid thing was that company cars were regarded as a great
benefit, and actually cost less than 60% of maintaining ones own, due
to fleet discounts, insurance discounts and not getting screwed for
servicing.
Hmm.. there were a few downsides, before setting off on a family
holiday to the South of France, my father had his car gone over by the
in-house mechanics of Sch you know who, we were beetling away through
the French countryside when we saw a wheel rolling ahead of us - it
came from the front nearside.
I always suspected sabotage, I wonder whether my father pinned down the
culprit, somehow I suspect he did - and flayed him.
Yes, I meant Hawthorn, or May tree, a dangerously spiky thing that
produces reddish flowers and a pernicious sap or dew - it has ruined
two cars of mine so far, but I quite like looking at it - so I've not
injected it with Roundup - oops glycophate.
Drew
has been anticipated. Promise, didn't post twice, just went all
Gurgly on me apparently. Can't be bothered wiping it.
In (slight) defence of the cam-belt, even Ducati use them. Slightly
gentler on all the reciprocating parts. Much quieter and in effect
cheaper because chains have to be enclosed within the oil system. That
makes the block bigger and has to be beefed up to compensate for extra
length. Assembly / disassembly is much more difficult too unless
sprockets are removable, which adds again to the block size.
Alternatively the tension adjuster can be made with much more travel
but the mechanism has to be beefed up because the greater angle imposes
heavier load. Or as they used to do, include a removable link but
that's always a weak point. So all in all, the only downside of belts
is that they snap and destroy top-ends. Small price to pay. Actually,
failure is very rare if manufacturers replacement schedule is adhered
to and one only neglects this once! My father changed his garage when
they forgot.
Re vertical drive shaft, Ducatis also, bit problematic. Basically
expansion coefficients screw things up a bit so they tend to be
clattery. Have to be shimmed up by hand too. A slightly better scheme
is a set of drive gears but they suffer the same problems and have to
include anti-backlash arrangements for best performance.
I've got push-rods :-)
Inland Revenue. Ahhh, good one Norman. I'll get one over on my bro
with that.
What kind of car was it that the wheel departed company from? Triumph
Heralds and Moggie 1000s had this endearing characteristic. Crappy stub
axles.
Best
Jerry
- I can't remember the name of their pull up system for valves, but it
strikes me as pretty smart
I think I would be inclined to go for a vertical shaft, and pump oil up
to the head through its core, that would 'cushion' things quite nicely,
it would be a sort of hydraulic system with a steel core.
I can't remember which car, either an Armstrong Siddley Sapphire or a
Vauxhaul Cresta - probably the latter.
Curiously the same thing happened in the UK with my mother's Moggie
Minor - around Ivinghoe Beacon with a bundle of kids in the car, but
that was down to general decay.
I had a couple of convertible Triumph 13/60s, great little cars, by
then they had sorted out the chassis, and dead easy to work on.
Drew
into paroxysms. Found another one, dog breeder, no picky though.
http://www.webstainedglass.com/biography.htm
Yup, there is a small percentage of plod who are quite acceptable, but
why take the chance :-)
Re the thread cutter, young mate was round tonight and said he'd seen
the trick done with spark plug threads when they get carboned up. Best
to use an old long reach plug so you can get a good angle with the
hacksaw. I suspect that I didn't 'invent' the trick but no
matter, well worth remembering.
Likewise Philips, but that's what you get for driving Jap crap with
bolts composed of lead / cucumber mix. Thankfully most stuff has
progressed to Posidrive because torque drivers have replaced the crude
'jump out when tight' Philips principle. Incidentally, NCR use crap
metal bolts too. Nevertheless, lot of stainless steel Allen's on my
Guzzi, not for the shine, just the fit and forget. And every bolt and
nut on cars, bikes, lawnmowers, garden swings etc which I refit gets a
good dose of grease. Five years down the line and they come straight
off. It wouldn't stretch the imagination to suppose manufacturers
could in the interest of the burgeoning longevity (and, to come,
reparability) that bolts will some day all be greased, perhaps by
legislation. Needn't be messy because it could be wax consistency or
perhaps grease encapsulated in powder sized spherules. I live in hope
for a better world.
BBC Radio 4 news this afternoon -- "Schoolboy participants in this
year's English conker championship are being forbidden bringing their
own nuts to prevent tampering, such as soaking them in vinegar to
harden them up."
Euooow, sawdust in engines. Nasty trick. Goes in the same box as the
wooden piston trick. Sounds great for the test drive.......
Best
Jerry
- bit odd her having a 'Ltd' firm in the Rockies ...
Oddly my stud problems were with BSAs
- very sensible using stainless plus grease
With a lot of things nowadays, I suspect that they are designed for
ease of assembly rather than disassembly - hence the little plastic
bits that break or fly off into the stratosphere.
Next they'll regulate that all conkers must be made of sponge, and all
participants must wear full body armour.
I've not heard of the wooden piston trick, but I have heard of a guy
who repaired a hole in a piston with Araldite - apparently it got him
home from the Continent.
There is a quick fit device called an Avlock that is used in aircraft,
it is a tube with a button at one end, and two small ball bearings
peering out near the other end. Inside there is a sprung shaft, when
the button is depressed the ball bearings can retract, and the tube can
be inserted/removed.
Release the button and the ball bearings are locked in place, and
nothing will get the tube out.
Not much use for high torque fittings, but very effective.
I heard that an Italian motorbike manufacturer use(d) a similar device,
so one could strip down a bike with a Swiss Army knife - I think I've
rambled about that before.
Drew
push-rod tunnels back tended to get a liberal dose of oil.
To an extent, things are designed for ease of assembly; but also too an
extent, ease of dissembly facilitates ease of assembly. When an injin
is for manufacturing convenience fitted by lowering the vehicle onto
it, not a lot of consideration has been paid to the poor guy five years
down the line who has a notion to replace worn out clutch plates.
Neither the snap-on door winders which are often a pig. Expanding
rivets are OK once you know how to do them but there is no excuse for
dashboards. Horrible things to take off, and essentially the reverse
procedure to fitting. All because screw threads *have* to be hidden.
Well bollox to that. Two hours (+) to replace blown idiot lights is
just plain dumb, should all be LEDs anyway. Trucks are just as bad and
what trucker gives a damn that aesthetics be slightly sacrificed for
the sake of maintenance. When I rule the world......
Couldn't find the Avlock (on brief search) but I do approve of quick
release. Dzus fasters are sometimes used on light aircraft cowlings and
covers, trucks too, and occasionally bikes. Wish Triumph could grasp
the concept. Recently I had to strip the fairing off a 2 or 3 year old
Trophy -- was an angle grinder job on the bolts!
Where's Norman? Find a cafe Phil.
Best
Norman
be bothered with the computer. I did however manage an hour at the
Antwerp computer fair to pick up 100 CD-R's but couldn't even be
bothered to have a beer there which is not like me.
Whilst I was there I thought, I have that cordless keyboard and mouse
sitting in the cellar that I am not going to put on the PC so I wonder
if there is a connection to split the PS\ 2 input into the laptop. I
know it kind of defeats the object of it being a laptop but since it
never leaves the house it would be more convenient to use on the
kitchen table. I don't like the flat keyboard much and stroky mice
just annoy me, they are so slow. I used to like keyboards with a rubber
button you pressed around the rim to direct the mouse cursor but they
never caught on. Anyway, after asking on three stalls for a PS\2
splitter and being told they didn't exist I found a stall with a
whole pile of them stacked up. I couldn't be bothered going back to
the other stalls and saying "This is what doesn't exist". Hey
guys, couldn't one of you come up with a device which lifts up the
back of the laptop keyboard an inch when you open the screen? Maybe it
was because I was feeling a bit down, I got into seaside Kiss Me Quick
hat mentality and bought a USB hub even though I couldn't think of a
good reason for having it. Do you ever get this? Deep down you know
something is a stupid buy but right on that moment it is the most
important thing in the world, until you move away from the stall minus
your money and then reality sets in. Fortunately they were all little
purchases.
Conkers and DIY; everyone knows the preparation is more important than
the application. If you can't cheat fairly then what is the point.
In my car fixing days I used to have a pot of grease thinned with
filtered old engine oil for lubing threads.
I think a lot of people have been frustrated by failing instrument
lights. I don't know why the whole instrument panel cannot be
released through the front like a tacho. or at least the bulbs be
accessed with long nosed pliers from underneath. Removing the dash is
just plain stupid.
I take on board what you say about rubber drive belts Drew but the
original point about implementing a new system with a lower MTBF is
also true.
What is all this talk about women; I feel like I have missed a few
posts on my screen.
Best
Drew
find that remnants of lurgy inflicted after Summer will linger until
the next Summer.
Impulse buying? Must be your feminine side. Bought a pair of shoes once
which I really didn't like and knew I couldn't live with but that
was after hours of shopping with my mate of the time (Aberdeen) and I
was beginning to lose interest in life. Weren't expensive, unlike a
patent application which I now sorely regret and wish I'd done
something more constructive with the wads, like peeing it against a
wall.
>If you can't cheat fairly then what is the point.
Good one :-) I tend to cheat at crosswords, where inability to spell is
a definite advantage.
Drive belt's, MTBF, yes you're right. Kevlar belts would be a
reasonable notion I would have thought. Maybe they are already? But
airbags have now made dashboards impossible, so what does one do?
Really don't want to go there.
Have wumin been bandied about more than norm Norm? Well if they have,
and since we are on 'motors John', you ever seethed at getting into
a car after the last driver was a wumin? OK breaking your shins against
the steering wheel is not their fault for being short-arsed, but you
turn the ignition key and *everything* powers up. Wipers, radio, fan,
lights, rear-heater. The concept of a power down procedure seems alien
to them. And the other thing about wumin's cars is they are tips!
Sweetie wrappers, crisp packets, accumulated detritus and wuminy things
which it's not gentlemanly to ask. Knickers in the cubby holes,
papers jamming the seat rails, hair brushes lurking in seats and every
beautifying product known to man (or wumin). Just an observation.
Best
Jerry
You'll probably not regret the USB hub, they are useful things.
I'm not surprized that you want a proper keyboard on your laptop, not
to mention a proper mouse.
One can get something called a 'docking station'
Glad you are feeling better.
@Drew
Avlocks are made by Avdel - a company that is fairly close to me -
although it might no longer exist.
Three of their younger engineers are now programmers.
BSAs got a lot less leaky when the silicon Hermetites came out, I've
not worked much on Triumphs, although I've memories helping a friend
build a Triton.
Dashboards are a complete nightmare, pulling them apart is nearly
impossible and getting behind them is a nightmare involving leaving
bits of skin for posterity.
I wonder whether those belts are Kevlar, somehow I doubt it, otherwise
they would be bragging about it.
I also nearly got caught on a Patent App, and my parents got fairly
well skinned. I remember hearing from a good source that Rountrees Mac
did not patent their innovations as they reckoned it was as good as
publishing them for the competition.
Norman
way".
I really do hope it over for good now.
unlike a
patent application which I now sorely regret and wish I'd done
something more constructive with the wads, like peeing it against a
wall.
Sometimes wish I had never invented the bloody thing, cost thousands
and even tried to keep it alive to sell it after the company went down.
I always suspected my ex co-director reformed and kept it going
afterwards but given the choice of finding out and suing the B or never
seeing him again, the choice was clear. Nuff said.
Good one :-) I tend to cheat at crosswords, where inability to spell is
a definite advantage.
If you are cross eyed and have dyslexia, is it possible to read
perfectly?
The car power down omission that used to get up my nose was the
switching the ignition off with the wipers halfway through a sweep. As
well as draining the battery on start up, when all the sh** had dried
on the blades it just spread it all over the windscreen.
Incidentally insurance companies reckoned that what made many women bad
drivers in the early days was the curve of the front of the seat
pushing the back button of their sussy belt into the back of their legs
then wriggling around to make it more comfortable and not watching
where they were going. Apparently women accident figures got better
after tights became popular.
I'll have a web
hunt I think 'cos that bit in the back of my brain for 'things to
know before I die' is too crammed.
Do you know why people get fatter as they get older? It is because of
all the information they keep cramming into their head's.
Yes Jerry I am quite pleased with my little purchases. The hub is a 1 X
4 and quite neatly made and included a M/F link, quite handy. The
documentation for the remote mouse / keyboard mentioned a docking
station but this is new to me, can you say a little more?
When I worked for ICI they had me patent busting for a while. It is all
a game with the agents being the only ones guaranteed to make money out
of it, but I guess we always suspected that.
Best.
Drew
change direction and sprout out of the ears and nose.
Best
Jerry
- nothing that worries me as in Africa that is a sign of a 'chief'
- I found myself adopting a different posture
Having had long hair as a kid, I quite like keeping it (non marine)
short - and the plus side is that a well tipped barber will sort out
most extrusions.
The trick with barbers is to keep them amused, the last time I went I
asked them how they would like 'deaf and dumb customers'
- it was a hit - but I don't think they got past double think
@Norman
Don't rely on me for USB support (I've heard from a reliable source
that the protocol is cr*p - but from experience it looks better than
most rubbish these days)
You must have been one of the 'in crowd' at ICI
- one day the world will be run by Boston style 'Cash Cow' owners -
private venture - and it will work.
Ever read 'The Sleeper Awakes' by H G Wells ?
Drew
end once every few months, with the added advantage that you don't
have to lie about being deaf to avoid discussions of impending holiday
destinations. Trying to cultivate the Legolas (Orlando Bloom) look but
not altogether succeeding I'm informed. My 98 year old grandmother
told me today that it looks 'girlie'.
USB eh. What chance when Microsloppy never even sorted out the A drive.
Truly remarkable. Got ZigBee to look forward to now. Could be a bit of
a revolution, hopefully with the side benefit that triac manufacturers
will progress from thirty years of dormancy. Dead useful devices but
not altogether accommodating in drive characteristics. World is crying
out for powerful opto-triacs for instance. Just maybe.......
Best
Norman
Tell your granny that she is seriously behind the times and that if she
wants to see what modern life is like she should consider doing it in
down the disco. Either that or buy her a Guzzi. You never know, she
might like it so much she takes it to bed with her.
I didn't know you had a pony tale, the things you find out! Don't let
it get so long you do an Isadora Duncan.
Since dress style has obliquely entered the conversation, there is a
biker's pub just around the corner from us. I successfully identified
the Harley riders from your previous description (fat arse and ZZ Top
beard). They call themselves the TMC Antwerpen. The MC I had right away
but the T bothered me for a while, then It hit me in a flash; how
stupid of me it's Tattoo. They all ride around in sleeveless
leathers, even in the middle of winter to show off their tattoos. Dead
hard rockers eh!
I thought I must ask Drew if he does that. Then I thought 'he isn't
going to like it'; then I thought 'what the hell'.
Ask your granny if she wants me to get her an application form.
What is ZigBee?
Best
Drew
regardless there's an operating system named in honour of her.
Thrawn! I'll mention tattoos and cut down biker leathers to her next
time but I fear she now prefers Mills and Boon.
Only donned a pony a few years ago, probably anticipating the mid-life
crisis which should be behind me now but has to wait its turn for
adolescence to pass. Hair was long in my yoof, and I was educated to
the Isadora type thing by a particularly painful incident with a Black
& Decker drill.
Your description of the TMC (is the tattoo obligatory!?) was a bit
depressing. That's why I have pink leathers. Synchronistically I was
asked today if I would re-wire a Harley for the mate of a mate who runs
a garage in town. I'd declined before but was enticed by the fact
that the guy does roofs, not an area where I am particularly raptured.
He'll have roof ridge ladders. So that's how small town life goes
round -- actually one of four wheeling deal things today!
ZigBee. Well it'll probably enter your life soon enough unless
proprietries beat it to it. Simple protocol wireless control system.
Low data rate but huge address facility such that there is enough room
for every light bulb in the world a hundred times over. Doesn't need
to transmit all the bits though, which with the slow data rate would
take ages, but kinda self evolves local networks. The philosophy is
that everything in a house (etc) will be controlled by data streams,
not in itself a new idea, but world-wide integration is new simply
because it can now be done cheaply. So unless 'civilisation'
terminates in the near future, your life will become ever so much
better. Let's see the buggers ZigBee our log fires!
Best
Jerry
Shortly before I joined, we got the Vidal Sasson hair products account
(actually they were pretty good), one of the conditions was that VS
gave our long haired and bearded MD a trim.
The results were astonishing.
I thought that the control protocol was going to be the extended IP -
first I've heard of ZigBee - which doesn't mean much as I'm not really
at the cutting edge.
The idea of everything being controlled by data streams strikes me as
quite comical, everything can fail simultaneously.
Mostly, I'm in favour of standalone systems with simple controls.
Drew
itself, like Windows. Just think, all you'll need to do is program
your peripheral to detect when MD's hair is too long and it'll
automatically launch into hairdressing mode. Presumably you won't
actually need to program it, just a hint will suffice, like Clippie
cheerfully bobbing up "I see you're writing a letter......."
This wall when the revolution comes, lined up with (where have we got
to) politicians, accountants, patent administrators, lawyers, Scrappy
Do, Power Point users, spammers etc -- software writers are getting
perilously close to the firing range ;-)
Best
Jerry
It's curious how higher technology leads to higher vulerability
- at a crude level, the use of cement for roofs in Kashmir - sheer
lunacy.
How I hate those Microsoft Assistants
- why do MS have to make things so puerile ?
It's as if they are programming for wimmin.
I saw the Xerox Star in 1982, the first GUI with a rodent, at the time
I felt slightly ill.
Mind if I reserve some space on the wall, I've got a neat list of
candidates for perfusion.
Norman
in the second phase of ground steel. It really was not so frightening
as the first lot, that had to be a lot more robust for the cellar,
garage and the rest of the house. The reason it was not all done on one
time is that the house is being built into a cut-out on a slope so the
raft for the dining room and kitchen is on a mezzanine level between
the cellar and the living and that is what is going in on Monday. It
makes sense when you see the plan.
There is no need for wall space, I strapped my MS assistants across the
mouth of a canon and blasted them into orbit. They really do insult
your intelligence.
"Hmm, looks like you are typing a letter, would you like me to lay it
out for you"?
"No! What is machine code for bugger off and don't come back"?
What I didn't tell you is that Stefan of house building fame, for a
living designs domotica systems for businesses and the incredibly rich
who don't know what else to do with their money. I asked him if he
knew of ZigBee but he didn't. He said that if the property is new
then hard wiring is the best and the fastest and that since each
appliance is both a receiver and sender the more appliances on the
system the more 'networked' they become and the faster they can
communicate.
Wireless systems are better for older buildings where major rewiring is
a problem but in these circumstances they normally use Intranet
systems. A tadge slower but they still get the job done. So there you
have it.
Haven't asked if the tattoos are obligatory but since they put them
in their club name I guess it's important to them, I should think
they would make an exception for your granny though; maybe she could
just use transfers on the days she goes out with them. I imagine she
has to have a bike though even if it is only a Raleigh. There are a
couple of guys who park their Wings in a garage that backs onto us and
will ask them about your granny. Their bikes look more like a
fairground attraction with LED's all around the brake disc cowling.
If you give me the go ahead I will put a good word in for her, they
seem a nice enough bunch of guys.
Best.
Drew
Fundamentally, most things resolve down to the same common denominator
-- too many people. Nevertheless, poor sods :-(
I did think you would have nominations for the wall Jerry :-) But
here's a thing, could you write a wee applet to insert another bullet
in Clippy's pukey dialogue. Perhaps with random phrases, such as
"F*** off you little corporate s***", or "Yea I hate Bill Gates
too but a job's a job". Bob the Builder (Norman) says it too. Are
MS not releasing some source code, or rather being forced to, for you
to work on. Or is it just a DLL which you could modify? I'd pay a
quid for it, and I'm sure 10,000 others would too. I tend to edit
Explorer's heading text (in the registry) to something vulgar but one
of my favourites applets is replacement of the 'Start' with
'Crash'. Small things, but you do at least feel you're getting
back at them.
Alas poor Gran can hardly walk so she respectfully declines the
generous offer. There was a time though, she says. As for the Harley
guys, yea they generally are very decent. Just a uniform, being part of
something, gives one a place in the world. I with my gaudy pink have
never had grief from them. OK they might at first think 'potential
w*****' but after a fag and a blether on bike internals things are
just fine. Also helps that (apparently uniquely) I can fix their
electrics. Tell you though, it's a hell of a lot easier being
accepted in hotels and guest houses all over Europe if you wear pink
rather than black. Italian police even let me off with crossing a white
line once.
Best
Jerry
That sounds like one heck of a house
- I've always liked the idea of building into slopes, ideally South
facing.
A quick Gurgle on 'domotica' proved interesting, also Stefan's point
about hard wiring makes sense.
I don't know much about the subject, but a guy I know has wired up many
offices. He swears by Cat 5 which supposedly just needs a patch panel
to carry almost anything.
I'm a bit suspicious about the use of radio, a pal of mine has an
office in a fairly rural area, and has found several other radio
networks, one of which is totally open and unencrypted - he uses it for
testing.
I don't really fancy some malign juvenile playing tricks on my central
heating and defrosting the freezer from a bedroom down the road.
@Drew
Yes, they cut down all the trees, but one would imagine they would have
planted some more, it also seems odd that reinforced concrete is
cheaper than tin or wood.
I suspect some 'cultural' thing is involved.
Those horrible 'assistants' are probably stored as resources in DLLs -
partly because they are graphical, and partly because they are language
configurable.
One can probably get at them with Resource Hacker.
Since I use Office 97, whatever I do would be of limited value to
people using later versions.
Even so, it is an interesting idea ...
I'm sure there would be a lot of people who would appreciate a little
customization. :-}
I'm getting a handle on your Pink leathers, quite a good idea - a wolf
in lamb's clothing.
The over population thing might be sorted out by a pandemic. This bird
flu stuff seems to be going on and on - I can't quite work out whether
it is media hype - a serious threat or a 1% threat.
I know for a fact that they have a vaccine for the current version, and
decided /not/ to put it in this year's vaccine cocktail.
Phil
Yep, found a cafe. Dingy hole with kids playing games "out loud". Not
quite like the comforts of home, and no Scotch in sight!
Glad to see that synchronicity and language jokes still abound.
Will now attempt to check e-mails. Wish me luck.
I will be investigating the possibility of a wireless and laptop
connection when the dollars begin to flow again. A company downunder
"TPG" apparently offer very favourable rates and speak of things like
cheap national phone calls at around 9c flat. VoiP (or something
similar) in acronym.
I will check on you again soon mates. Thanks for being you lot.
All the best, Phil
Drew
communications with DNA based protocol systems. Didn't know the
twisted pairs cable was Cat 5, and probably never would if I hadn't
been informed. Learn one thing a day, eh.
No fear of ZigBee being infected. It'll be at least as secure as
Windows.
Wasn't even *reinforced* concrete, that might have been OK. Similarly
I inspected a partly built house of standard style in Bosnia and
wondered why there were plank impressions in the ceiling concrete. I
shudder to think what a major Earthquake in the Balkans would do to the
population there.
Pink leathers, not quite a wolf, more a cuddly version of an oil slick,
but one of my pseudonyms is Pink Panda (as in Andy Pandy, gettit). Was
out for the last run of the season today with the Boring Old Farts bike
club. Loch Lomond was looking pretty cool. Self perception of
'cutting a dashing figure' is perhaps slightly self deceiving, but
at least it is different. Good chaps, just wish they wouldn't go so
bleedin slow. Thinking of forming an offshoot club for people who
should know better but still can't resist throttle wellie. Can't
think of a catchy acronym though, incorporating words such as grey, fat
balding, disgraceful etc.
As for bird flu, the media and governments are making rather a big
thing of it aren't they. It'll never catch up with malaria, aids,
malnutrition and a pile of others. I'm more worried about the sky
falling in but at least I shall be protected by the umbrella with
electrical wires sown in stuck to my head at all times.
And big fives to Phil in dingy holes :-)
Best
Norman
Any rabbits in your dingy hole? You don't notice yourself getting
older day by day until you have something like this pushed in your
face.
God Drew, you are expecting people to remember Andy Pandy? You must
think everybody is as old as me, which by synchronicity brings us to
the following link.
Some of the stuff down the side panels is even better, have many happy
hours surfing.
What HIV did to DNA makes it at least as secure to Windows.
I have obviously not been keeping up with events; did something happen
in the third world regarding concrete? BTW have any of you got any idea
what the second world is?
I have been trying to think of a name for your new MC club whilst I
have been typing this. The best I could come up with is the Supersonic
Farts Club as opposed to Hells Grannies.
I can tell that you have never been into cruising.
I have been keeping away from this bird flu news. If it is inevitable
then why worry about it and if it isn't then why worry about it. It
is good to be aware of it but it seems to be a bit of media hysteria;
Bubba must have been doing normal for the last couple of weeks.
I'm more worried about the sky
falling in but at least I shall be protected by the umbrella with
electrical wires sown in stuck to my head at all times.
Aluminium foil is supposed to be the business I am informed.
Best
Drew
fit! Could spend hours on that web link you sent BTW -- think I've
tripped into it before by mistake when I was hunting for naked puppets.
Those Angels in Captain Scarlet, whoooaaa.
Re concrete & third world, just that the hooses in Kashmir which
collapsed so spectacularly upon the unfortunates were crude concrete
constructions. Not exactly earthquake proof, or even resistant.
Querying 'second world' or offering to enlighten? I used to know,
but had to look it up again for confirmation. Soviet Block and China.
Not now I guess -- probably Girvan.
Glad you are putting your not inconsiderable intellect to the problem
of a suitable name for the club. Incorporating 'farts' is almost
obligatory of course but SFC sounds awfully like a football club and
I've never met a biker dumb enough to take even a passing interest in
that. Apparently Wayne Rooney traced his ancestry recently -- to
Whipsnade. But as for the club, perhaps you could get colostomy in
there.
Wonder if lining my helmet with ally foil would be as effective as an
umbrella?
Best
Jerry
- hope all is going well
- that radio link might just work
I know that US ISPs got very interested in using mobile telecoms some
years ago.
It looks like 'Second World' was mainly the USSR - one could not really
call them 'First World' and 'Third World' would be a bit insulting as
they are pretty technologically advanced - in a curious way.
Perhaps 'Grey Angels Chapter' would describe Drew's putative
association :-}
Odd you should not know about Cat 5, it has been quite the buzz word in
office wiring for some time, although it beats me why twisted pair
should be better than co-ax.
Reminds me how in the early 1980s I traced a network problem down to a
cable crossing a power cable at 90 degrees - a deep and distant memory
of some law/rule or other emerged from my forgotten physics lessons.
Boy, do I remember Andy Pandy !
Not to mention the Flower Pot Men
- I wonder whether Little Weed was a subversive joke, like the later
Captain Pugwash and the Magic Roundabout.
- thinking about it a 'Pandy' was an Indian mutineer ... food for
thought ...
I think part of the reason for the Bird Flu panic is because unlike
AIDS and Malaria, it could hit the 'First World'.
Of course it might be a scare put about by Roche in order to sell
TamiFlu (which possibly might not work anyway).
The thing that puzzles me is that nobody has talked about the 'true'
mortality rate, 50% of those hospitalized with it have died, but even
in the 'First World' one needs to be in a pretty bad state to be forced
to go near a hospital.
For all we know 100,000 people have snivelled and coughed for a few
days, thrown the odd fever, and are now as right as rain.
I've also a suspicion that it might be some form of STD - I've heard
strange things about what Orientals get up to with ducks. Even if not
that, who in their right mind would /not/ be ill after consuming a
'soup' of raw duck's blood and herbs ??? (As did one fatality in
Vietnam).
Hopefully those plank marks you saw in Bosnia are just down to the
traditional 'slatting' (?) method for pouring concrete, and they used
1/4" diameter wire mesh and a few bits of steel inside the raft - with
a liberal dose of oxyacetyline.
I've seen plank marks on motorway bridge embankments.
T'other thing that makes me curious is that they are bleating about
sending 400,000 tents out to Kashmir.
The locals would be a lot better off with a load of fairly good grade
polythene sheeting, building rudimentary walls is pretty easy, roofing
it is less so.
Perhaps some bamboo and twine.
Personally I would prefer to sit out a winter in a hole in the side of
a hill, rather than something that will blow down in a wind.
Drew
pair has a lot going for it. Balanced system and reasonably accurate
characteristic impedance, though higher than co-ax of course. Not as
leaky as one might think but as you recounted can be compromised by
other signals. Usually easier to wire up and a hell of a lot cheaper.
Potentially lower loss too.
I share the concerns of bird flu exposure -- not the flu, just what the
media is doing with it. Today the main BEEB news was bird flu and the
Tory Party leadership, hundreds of thousands homeless in the Asian sub
came way down the line. I really despair of them sometimes. Why would
anyone want that poison chalice, and they threw out Ken, the only one
who had a smidge of a chance with the voters. Dumb. Incidentally so is
Nero. Regardless of rave reviews I always thought it was a kludge.
Getting pretty irate at flu, Tories and Nero tonight. Thing is though
I've mellowed with age, not that one might notice.
Best
Jerry
- he has that reek of the bar about him (fags and beer) that inspires
.. a little confidence
However at the next election he would be 69, which is pushing it a bit
- sure Churchilll was far older but he was well senile towards the end.
Trouble is, we don't see things through the youngsters eyes, I assume
that the Tories have a few kids pulling strings and faking opinion
polls.
Can't understand the fuss about Cameron having a few tokes - I'm hard
pressed to think of anyone 10 years older who has not. Perhaps that's
the angle.
I assume that Nero thing is the supposed Roman drama, I made a point of
missing it, Robert Graves was pretty much the last word there ...
although there is someone else whose name I forget.
I just got an Email from Singapore, my last client, of 19 years is
closing the system. Long expected and in many ways a relief.
Funny really, I specialized in exotic clients, yet the Internet removed
most of the enjoyment.
Drew
good authority that he's one of the few Tories one can acceptably
prop up a bar with. Wouldn't vote for him of course, nor anyone who
had a chance to kick Thatch's teeth in and pass on the opportunity,
but the other contenders are no chance with the voters. Don't think
this has occurred to them. Asked a BBC chap once if it was deliberate
policy to film Rifkind unflatteringly. He smiled knowingly and said
"Close up, wide angle." As for the toke, so what, and most of the
crap has come from internecine. Kinda says it all. However if he'd
just said "Yea I had a blow" it might have knocked the wind out of
their sails. Dose of mind altering substances could only do that bunch
good.
Nero -- burner software. Me, Robert Graves, unfortunately not but I do
recall the superb 'I Claudius' TV production. Hopefully it will
outlast Ahead's impenetrable script. It is of course very easy to
forget that all this computery internet stuff is still enfant terrible
and if you've managed to hang onto a client for 19 years, that period
has actually encompassed virtually the whole era of high tech
electronics in public domain. Makes you wonder.... I raked in a skip
today and liberated a 2.4 gig Athlon and DDR memory. Only trouble is
that none of my systems is new enough to take advantage of the trove.
Best
Jerry
- of course elections are not won - they are lost by the party in power
Of course - Nero CD burning - never tried it
I use Sonic - it seems Ok - well it works
I had one client 21 years (or maybe 22)
- right from my first IBM PC
although the first PC I worked on was a Commodore PET in about 1978
Quite some find that Athlon, possibly you'll find the bits to get it
working.
Happy raking
Norman
hidey hole over here I know they never did a flattering job on Malcolm.
The only issue I have with Ahead burning software is that when you make
a compilation from tracks saved to disk, say for making an MP3, it
always rearranges the tracks alphabetically. Even if the tracks are
saved in 'track order' to file Nero always thinks that you want
them alphabetically. The only way I have found around it is to rename
all tracks with a unique number at the beginning of the name or use MS
but you shouldn't have to do this. Yes, Real and others have free
stuff to download but they always want too much personal info in
exchange that you are never quite sure what you are letting yourself in
for. You shouldn't have to go to these lengths, anyone know a way
round it?
I read somewhere that the average time for hanging on to a client is
seven years so I think you should congratulate yourself.
There was one company in the independent UK steel market who had a
policy that no contractor company could win a contract with them three
times on the run even if they were the cheapest and the best.
It, to an extent prevented special buyer/seller relationships
developing.
Strange that these should be the only useful bits in the skip, were
there not any other corresponding bits like a main board?
Best
Drew
nothing's changed. Wonder what the specs and OS were, maybe I'll
look them up. And you tell that to the kids of today.......
Funny that Malcolm never noticed. There was (and still is) another
weasely rat who they used to do the same number on but can't remember
his name and can think of no reason to try and remember it.
Roxio seems to have taken over the 'most loved' burning slot but
never used either it or Sonic. Maybe I should play about. My prob with
Nero is ISOs, Volumes and multisession. Just doesn't do things what I
would call sensibly. And the help files are cryptic. Can't see my
requirements as being particularly peculiar but I can't get my head
round some of the stuff. Christ, there are some people who have not the
slightest idea how an internal combustion engine works, let alone all
the other engineering marvels, who nevertheless can sit behind the
wheel and just drive. No idea how to fix tour MP3 prob Norman. Send
them a letter and say that your blagged copy of their software has some
quirks which need sorting and you won't buy a legit copy till
they've fixed it. Tried that with MS and lots of men in black suits
paid me a visit ;-)
Re contracts, the Scottish Parliament which went over budget 1000% was
awarded because of previous good service. Well that's the story we
are told.
The computery bits were in a smashed up PC, deliberately so it would
appear. Mboard was completely trashed though I liberated a few discrete
components and fixing screws. Modem riser card seemed OK, USB extension
too, but no way to tell if the processor or mem actually work. One is
256, suspect the other is 128. Oh and I took the CD drive to bits (also
trashed) and acquired a couple of DC motors, switches, LEDs, a drive
belt and a few other little bits. Laser head guide rails make nice wee
scribes or punches when ground to a point. Just can't resist scaff.
How's the hard disk dissection going?
Best
Jerry
getting spammed) you could always get a throwaway Email account, pick
an address from somewhere and a bogus telephone number.
Numbering the tracks in the order that you want them is probably a
pretty good idea, I'm surprized that the software does not give you a
shuffle option
(actually I'm not at all surprized, simple common senses features are
seldom implemented)
I did a search for: Bulk File Rename Utility
- there were several possibilities
Historically I've either lost (got rid of) clients very fast, or tended
to keep them a long time. Part of the reason is that I rented software
so replacing a GBP 10k per year system would cost GBP 100k at least.
I guess it depends on the sector.
One client I knew had an embarrassing problem, they made packaging like
computer manuals.
A regular client of theirs always came back to re-order, and naturally
they gently hiked the price.
It got to the stage that the margin was ridiculous, and they were
actually embarrassed. I suggested that they told the client that they
had bought some new machinery which reduced costs ...
The 'official story' on the Parliament is that the client kept upping
and altering the specifications, I would not be surprized if that were
true.
I'll bet that all the awards are being given after some arm twisting
and back scratching - to 'justify' things.
It beats me why anyone would deliberately smash up a computer - I've
often felt like 'float testing' equipment or dropping it out of a
window to see if it bounces - but only ever when seriously annoyed.
As yet I've not pulled open a HD, as my only U/S one is buried deep
inside my favourite machine.
I also used to collect equipment, however of late I've had a few purges.
Drew
Joe Bloggs are my favourite pseudonyms. I've nothing to hide, but why
do they insist on knowing which side I dress? Ach maybe the data is fed
into customer target surveys, doubtless in Power Point. Load of
jobbies. "Tick one box" they always say but they never fit my
profile. Guess consumer surveys are compiled by failed software
writers!
Trashed computator was indeed very odd. PCI slots had been mashed with
a twisted screwdriver and if that wasn't enough some of the
electrolytic caps had been knocked off and the circuit traces multiply
scribed. Nae idea, and why leave two of the most expensive items though
some of the heatsink fins had been bent by insertion of an instrument.
Perhaps whatever dumb prol who removed the HD and PSU couldn't quite
figure how to remove the processor or the memory, or perhaps didn't
recognise them? Girvan's finest.
Best
Jerry
someone else have it.
It's a peculiar mind set.
I've also run into a (very) few computer engineers who would attack
things with screwdrivers before sniffing around for quick release
levers.
They probably removed the HD 'for security reasons', I know the MOD
drop them in an acid bath.
Of course a fair sized USB memory stick can milk a lot of data in very
little time :-}
Norman
I once heard about a guy who asked his ex to to sell his year old Jag
for him so she sold it for a fiver and sent him a postal order.
Best
Drew
(though I'm threatening Linux on one of them) the stick needs a
driver. Perhaps coincidence, but when last year I loaded the driver for
bro's stick this system went into major meltdown. Reformat job. Only
absolute necessity will persuade me to migrate to XP.
All the skip computers which have had HDs in them were still full of
personal files. Some only accessible by file restoring but out of
respect to previous owners I ignore names. Interesting having a look,
just to see what anonymous people get up to. Nothing juicy so it would
appear, apart from tragic illiteracy. Doesn't help that often as not
the systems are set up to USA default. Guess that 'format/u' is a
higher brain function alien to S. Ayrshire.
Best
Jerry
One tip, if you ever get a Word document as an attachment have a look
at it with a raw text editor, Word tends to add 'spare' space that
contains portions of deleted files.
Your best bet is to get some disk imaging software tike Ghost or
PowerQuest Drive Image (there are freebies around) and totally store
your HD before installing anything vaguely hooky.
Unlike that lousy Norton Rescue rubbish, you have a very high chance of
being able to restore to your earlier state. Drive Image has saved my
bacon a number of times.
Norman
before they junk their old computer. If they don't know how to do
this they could just yank the bit out. Mind you they probably
wouldn't recognise which bit it was. As you say, you don't deed to
know how a car engine works in order to drive to the supermarket. It is
amazing that no body would throw their credit card in the skip but
would happily junk a hard drive with the same information on it. It is
curious thought that a quick Format C (not going to write it properly
in case it actually does it) would have saved Dr. Shipman a lifetime in
prison. There is also a general misapprehension that deleting files
removes them from the hard drive.
Best
Drew
of other stuff still lurking. Mine is always clicked off as are most
other extraneous embellishments. I gave up a long time ago suggesting
to people how to make their machines more functional, like auto-hiding
the task bar to furnish the maximum space. Hell, couple of days ago I
tweaked the height and width settings on a monitor -- if they'd
wanted a 15 incher rather than a 17 they could have saved a few quid!
Also upped it from 60Hz 'cos I was going into spontaneous epilepsy.
One wouldn't expect a USB driver to nuke one's system would one?
There again, nothing ever surprises me these days. Ghosting *would*
have been a good idea but it hadn't been reinstalled for a couple of
years which seems to be about the going rate for 'sensible' users.
Got a copy of Norton Ghost, but as you say, Norton's clunky and slow.
Bleedin difficult to eradicate too.
That is a pretty extreme case of paranoia Norman :-). Speak the name of
the Devil, eh. Well I could always follow up with unformat C: -- oh but
I used the /u switch so your system is trashed now. Sorry.
I wonder about nutters like Shipman. Do they actually deliberately
leave clues just to prove that investigators are too dumb to notice the
T-shirt which says 'Guilty'. Something to do with superiority
syndrome, like the films where the perpetrator taunts with paper
trails. Perhaps sane people cover their track?
Best
Norman
you!
One wouldn't expect a USB driver to nuke one's system would one?
There again, nothing ever surprises me these days.
Not at all, I have already told you about the sound card that would
only allow my display 16 colours. It drove me crazy until somebody told
me it was a known but not very publicised issue with Millennium.
Thank /u Drew, I shall reciprocate in kind when you are least expecting
it.
I used to have a ghosting thing a few computers ago. I seem to remember
it was called Fast File Undelete but no idea who authored it. As you
say, it is just taking up space if you never need to use it.
Best
Drew
every...... Would have thought a USB driver to be pretty low risk,
downloaded it from a very reputable file sharing site :-) No actually
it came with the stick and suspect it was just coincidence 'cos
removing it still left my system with serious brain damage.
Nevertheless, next time I'll try it out on a less critical computator
first.
As you imply, all these installed safeguards are just too demanding on
both grey matter and the system. As I've said before, had so much
grief with firewalls that I just don't run one now. So I might get
clobbered eventually but it's either that or being garrotted
virtually every night. One of the virtues of narrow-band, if modem
lights start flickering all by themselves I disconnect immediately.
Helps if all the auto-update guff is clicked off too.
Having acquired a modem riser card (AMR) and a couple of my 'puters
have a slot, anyone know if they are universal? Prob enabled in BIOS
but do they need drivers too?
Best
Jerry
Zealand
Sadly they are now both owned by those cretins at Symantec
In the DOS days I used to worship Peter Norton, but now I just have a
thirst for vengeance.
USB drivers are little sh*ts - my suspicion is that they do not pay
much attention to the W98 versions, my slightly exotic and sacked
'ex-client' has had a lot of problems with them.
The dirty trick for erasing data is to set up DeFrag and then thrash
around creating silly files.
I learnt that when I was asked by one of the major accountants (PM) to
sniff over a couple of machines, all I could say was that there was a
deliberate attempt to conceal data. Nowadays I would just rip out the
HDs and stick them in caddies ...
I don't bother with a firewall, I lurk behind an ADSL router and check
my system on Steve Gibson's web site : https://www.grc.com
Also I only run programs from totally trusted sources, and since I am
rather distrustful - they are few and far between.
I suspect that Shipman was grassed up by his receptionists, I've found
that a few cigarettes to gravelize the voice and a friendly manner
elicits rather a lot of information from doctor's receptionists over
the telephone.
Put crudely the practice I am registered with but avoid, have
receptionists that absolutely loathe at least one of their doctors.
Hmm... I have a small list ...
Drew
The mags don't seem to have cottoned on to the obvious, or perhaps
are obliged to be politic. And of course you have to read long and hard
in the mags to find outright damnation of MS.
It's interesting hearing from you Jerry that 98 USB drivers are
indeed sloppy. Not being party to the low-downs I'd assumed that USB
software should be pretty robust and all probs I've had with it were
just the world out to get me. May have mentioned I couldn't get
broadband to sing on a computer I gave to someone in exchange for work
on my car (needed a ramp). Finally came to the conclusion that the
computer just wasn't supplying the current required by USB
specification. Add-on card finally worked fine, at least once I'd
worked out how the hell to install it. Beats me how people clever
enough to design such works of wonder are pathologically incapable of
writing installation progs or even instructions which make any sense.
Only 'cos I know a little bit more than the average do I know about
chipsets and can work out which drivers are required. What chance for
most punters? Gawd, even HDs, the jumper pictures are often
incomprehensible. Is there a space left against that wall for
incompetents?
>DeFrag and then thrash around creating silly files.
Don't understand. How do you mean?
Another super site from you with cool goodies. Problem is though I just
get info overload if I try to incorporate clever stuff. Sequential
brain I'm afraid, that's why I focus on analogue electronics. If I
need 10 things in town, I'd almost prefer to go to town 10 times and
get one each time.
Wish I could introduce you to my Mither -- she thinks *I* am cynical
:-)
Best
Norman
retro. That is no excuse for it being bad though
Gawd, even HDs, the jumper pictures are often
incomprehensible. Is there a space left against that wall for
incompetents?
If cable select exists why have I never seen a computer with it
installed?
>DeFrag and then thrash around creating silly files.
I Didn't understand this either but I didn't want to ask.
I question I have never dared to ask before; if analogue (say wave
file) gives all the intermediary frequencies then why is digital
better?
Drew, your mother sounds too nice for you!
Best