Book: The Cat Who Walks Through Walls by Robert A Heinlein

[Krishna]

** Original post on May 8, 2012 **

Along with Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clark, Robert Heinlein is included in the Trio of Science Fiction Greats of yesteryear. This is my first foray into the world of Robert Heinlein, and I am told that this was one of the books he wrote last, before his death.

I think that, of the three, Arthur C Clark is the unique writer of science fiction. Sci-fi comes in two varieties. One is the fantasy version, where the story is set in an improbable world as far as current technology is concerned. Here you have the normal story with the good guys and the bad guys and normal emotions and plots, set in an alien world, with two moons or two suns rising into the sky and fantastic creatures to ride and futuristic, often laser based weapons. Most authors, including Asimov, George Lucas, Heinlein et al belong in this category. You can safely (arguably) transport the story into our normal, modern world and most of it will still play well if you switch characters to non magical, regular characters.

There is another version of Science Fiction, pioneered (I think) by Clark, where the entire story hangs on a science fact. (He once wrote a story based on the idea that in a weak gravitational field, an object pushed straight will curve on itself and come back in a circle). Often, if you remove the science fact, you do not have a story at all. (Several examples of this technique are in The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clark, reviewed earlier here)

Asimov’s Prelude to the Foundation was reviewed earlier as well.

The beginning of the book is spectacular. It starts with a bang, has a strong note of humour throughout the first few pages, and is a delight to read. Around a quarter way through, however, it just goes to pieces and never, ever, recovers thereafter.

First, a synopsis:  This is the story of Dr. Richard Ames, who is on a date with Gwen. Gwen is off to refresh herself, when a person sits opposite him, and after giving him a very obscure sentence, manages to die promptly, killed by a poisoned dart. Gwen is back and goes back to his apartment. She marries him and they discuss who could have killed him. Then another assassin turns up – a man called Bill, who is disarmed, chastised, and ‘adopted’ by the couple, along with a bonsai tree that they save and name Tree-San. They are suddenly in the bad books of the all-powerful mayor of the Golden Rule, an artificial satellite city where they live. They manage to hurriedly evacuate, of all places to Old McDonald’s Farm. (Really!)

Did I mention that Ames has an artificial foot (prosthetic) and uses a cane to walk, in spite of that?

They then go on rent-a-spaceship (“from Budget because Hertz does not have any spaceships!!”). Bill has a puking fit in zero gravity and cleans up the spaceship after it crashes.

Tree-San is carried everywhere – to ostensibly no ulterior purpose. They are ambushed by Pirates and Gwen demonstrates that she has unbelievable skills in all areas – she can fight, she can use firearms like a pro, as well as drive unknown vehicles that she is not familiar with. When they try to frame Richard because ‘there can be no pirates there’, Gwen produces an influential witness to miraculously release Richard. And then they have to run again, before the top man who has lost face can harass Richard in revenge.

The above is the “sane” part of the story (what?) and the story goes haywire after that. Try these for size, as there is NO coherent way to tell the reminder:

• Turns out that Gwen is really Hazel and is over a thousand two hundred years old, rejuvenated constantly to look young and also verified by Richard to be in peak condition
• They hide now in a different time dimension, where years pass but in their original dimension, no time has passed
•  Some of the main characters are also ancient (for instance Tina and her sister whats-her-name) are over thousand years old, and also they are computers (come on!) who have taken a human body
• The biggest computer of them all is Adam Selene who has been ‘disabled’ and needs to be rescued to accurately predict the effects on what will happen if they interfered with the past. Still not confused? The robot is also called Mike and many other names.
• Richard is given a “grown spare” leg from the person he hates, Lazarus
• Richard really detests Lazarus (also called a million other names – who cares at this point?) who turns out to be his dad he never knew
•  The Cat who walks through Walls makes a guest appearance at the end of the book – just for a few scenes, and does nothing at all  in the book (a perfect partner for the Tree-San?). In case you are still interested, it is named Pixel. It indeed can walk through walls because – wait for this – it is Schrodinger’s Cat!
• And then it gets worse! The ending gets even more confusing and everyone appears to die – except Richard.
• There are tons of characters (for instance the Rabbi and Uncle Jock in Iowa – yes, Iowa!) who seem to come and go but do not contribute whatsoever to the plot
• There are strong references to homosexuality and bisexuality and liberally scattered references to all kinds of sex – all through the book. Again, it may be fine if it has anything to do with the story but it does not.
• The idea of multiverse is mentioned – parallel universes where all possible outcomes exist – but all the characters in the book can travel at will between these worlds (universes?) and also at will back and forth on time.

In short, it is pure drivel wrapped up as a story. I have since read some material which suggests that I picked up perchance one of the worst books Heinlein has written to sample the author, and so I will try and read another one of his better books before I make up my mind as to whether to continue to read his books.

As close to a waste of time  as it can get, this book deserves no more than a 2/10

— Krishna