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by Umm Muladhat.
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Description
Two years ago, I was congratulating a young Muslimah on her engagement. She was thrilled about starting married life and you could see the happiness emanating from her as everyone gave her their best wishes. A few months later, I could tell something was wrong. After some cajoling, she shyly admitted the truth. Her sex life was horrible. In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahram’s hand, let alone become physically intimate with one. She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulging in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah. But it wasn’t working. Coming from the medical field, she knew all the relevant biology. She could draw and label all the parts of male and female anatomy. She had taken fiqh classes and knew the legal rulings of menstruation and intercourse. But she didn’t know sex. Oh, she knew the mechanics. Insert penis into vagina. Climax. Withdraw. But she didn’t know how to make her husband yearn for her in bed. She didn’t know what he liked. She didn’t even know what she liked! They had begun eagerly but after a few weeks, realized that neither of them was truly enjoying having sex with each other. And so began my impromptu sex skills workshop. I threw at her all the information I’d gathered over years of marriage. Things I’d learned from experience, tidbits I’d gleaned from friends, tips I’d picked up from magazine articles. One thing here, two things there. All those bits had accumulated into a very healthy and robust sex life between me and my husband. I gave her everything, fervently hoping that it would help her in her marital life. A month later, I saw her again. This time she had a gigantic smile on her face. “Please, write this down and share it with other Muslim girls. No one teaches this. We’re thrown into marriage and only know the fiqh and the biology.” I wrote down everything I told her on a Word document and emailed it to her. She shared it with her friends who were newly married. They shared it with their friends. Before long, word trickled back to me that people were asking me to write a book on the subject. So here it is.
Let's be real: 2020 has been a nightmare. Between the political unrest and novel coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, it's difficult to look back on the year and find something, anything, that was a potential bright spot in an otherwise turbulent trip around the sun. Luckily, there were a few bright spots: namely, some of the excellent works of military history and analysis, fiction and non-fiction, novels and graphic novels that we've absorbed over the last year.
Here's a brief list of some of the best books we read here at Task & Purpose in the last year. Have a recommendation of your own? Send an email to ja...@taskandpurpose.Com and we'll include it in a future story.
Missionaries by Phil Klay
I loved Phil Klay’s first book, Redeployment (which won the National Book Award), so Missionaries was high on my list of must-reads when it came out in October. It took Klay six years to research and write the book, which follows four characters in Colombia who come together in the shadow of our post-9/11 wars. As Klay’s prophetic novel shows, the machinery of technology, drones, and targeted killings that was built on the Middle East battlefield will continue to grow in far-flung lands that rarely garner headlines. [Buy]
- Paul Szoldra, editor-in-chief
Battle Born: Lapis Lazuli by Max Uriarte
Written by 'Terminal Lance' creator Maximilian Uriarte, this full-length graphic novel follows a Marine infantry squad on a bloody odyssey through the mountain reaches of northern Afghanistan. The full-color comic is basically 'Conan the Barbarian' in MARPAT. [Buy]