I am a horrid beast

[Joel Wood]

Eat horrible, painful jokes of pain.

 

Q: What fruit grows in the Arctic?

A: Polar Pears

 

Q: How do rich people change thier light bulb?

A: Buy a new house

 

Q: What is a pickles marriage vow?

A: dill death do we part.

 

Q:Who is the best person to get for parting your hair?

A: Moses

 

Q: Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

A: In case they get a hole in one

 

Mama, Daddy, and Baby tomato were walking, when Baby tomato stopped to look at a leaf.  Mama Tomato said Ketchup.

 

Q: What did the Sugar cube say to the crystals?

A:Pull yourself together

 

Bob: How was the play you went to?

Bill: I only saw one act.

Bob: Why?

Bill: the program said Act II [3 months later] so I came home

 

An officer pulled over some foreigners who were driving real slow, apperantly they had mistaken the route number to be the speed limit.

That could explain why everyone was screaming earlier, we were on route 176.

 

Q: where do Broth and noodles play football?

A: at the souper bowl.

 

A man went in to the docter with celery up his nose, the doctor said "Well one things for sure, your not eating right."

 

A man was driving in his car when he noticed a cyclist was riding beside his car and was signaling for him to stop.  He pulled over and asked what was the matter.  My suspenders are stuck on your bumper.

 

Q: Why do elephants go swimming when ever they see water?

A: They always have thier trunks

 

Tim: My dad mad such a scary scarecrow that all the crows left.

Mike: Yeah well the one my dad made was so scary the crows returned with all the corn they stole last year.

 

Dan: I heard you singing

Ted: Yah. I was killing time.

Dan: you chose the right weapon.

 

An expert is someone who takes some thing you already know, and makes it confusing.

 

A man went to the doctors with two bandages, Well what happened said the doctor.  I answered the Iron, what about the other ear.  I had to call a doctor.

 

A mom noticed her son on the yard looking very red.  Why won't you come in?  I was here first.

 

Q: What word has the most letters?

A: Post Office

 

Q: What is green, has four legs, weighs 1500 pounds, And will kill you if it fell on you from a tree?

A: Pool Table.

 

Q: Why do Cyclopses never teach?

A: They never have more than one pupil.

 

Frankenstien was complaining about his kid wish to donate his body to science to his pals.  What so bad about that?  What if some one needs the pieces.

 

Q: What happens if you sleep with your head under the pillow?

A: The tooth fairy will take all your teeth.

 

One woman maried a millionaire, a magician, a preacher, and a under taker, Why?  One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready. and one to go.

 

Q: is NUAMES haunted?

A: of course, we have a little school spirit.

 

Q: what was Mozart doing in his grave?

A: De-Composing

 

Q: Why is Father Time a cripple?

A: Because Day breaks and night falls.

 

Q: What tree is always sick?

A: A sycamore

 

Those were horrible jokes, If you don't laugh I will hunt you down.  HAHAHAHAHA, no seriously I will.  

; \  <-- "IM DEAD"

[Andrew Dean]

Cool

--
He who dies with the biggest gun is
none-the-less still dead