Sis. BK Shivani & Sureshbhai Oberoi -GOING BEYOND - Synopsis of Episodes 1 to 25

[B.K. Prafful Singi]

'AWAKENING with Brahma Kumaris' 

on - Aastha TV - English prog.every Sunday 9.30pm to 10.30pm - Sister BK Shivani and Suresh Oberoi -

GOING BEYOND - Synopsis of Episodes 1 to 25

 

Episode 1

Every time we say our feelings are because of situations or people, we are  blaming them for our state of mind.
Discipline people and get work done but without fluctuating your state of mind, which means work needs to be done but our happiness is not dependent on it.
Each one of us is responsible for our feelings. People are not responsible for how we feel and we are not responsible for how others feel.
We can take care of our thoughts and actions, but finally others will create their own feelings and we should not feel guilty if others are
creating pain.
Nothing and no one is in our control, other people’s mind may not do what we want, we only have control on our own mind.

 

Episode 2

Irrespective of things happening outside, we consciously choose our feelings inside. We are shifting from blaming to personal responsibility.
Become aware of typical situations or personality traits in people like dishonesty, laziness, being late etc which cause irritation, anger or hurt.
Now consciously choose to remain stable in response to people’s behaviours.
Even if something has happened in the past, we cannot blame the past for our feelings today. Our feelings today are entirely our choice and our responsibility.
Everything outside is a stimulus – past experiences, present situations, planetary movements. Irrespective of the stimulus, the response is our creation.

I the soul am already peace, love, contentment. Nothing outside needs to be perfect for us to experience our own qualities, we already have them.

 

Episode 3

People don’t insult us, they give their opinion. We take their words and make them our identity and then use that identity to create hurt.

Mood created in one situation, if not corrected, gets recorded in our subconscious. Any trigger will bring the pattern from the subconscious to the conscious and very soon this becomes our prevailing mood.

Do not make the emotion your identity, like I am sad, I am aggressive. It is a creation, it will pass. If we identify with it, we expect it to come and accept it when it comes.

Face the emotion. Do not try to escape it by distracting your mind with movies, alcohol, working, holidaying or talking to people.

Time cannot heal us. We choose how much time we take to heal ourselves.
Face the emotion and find the tool of knowledge to heal it, do not leave it to time.

 

Episode 4

Desires are scenes which we create on the screen of our mind. When the scene in reality is different from the one on the mind, the mind perceives it as a loss, and we create pain.

Unfulfilled desires create pain. Let’s reduce our desires, and give everything the liberty to happen the first time in reality, as it is meant
to be.

When talking to family and friends about our emotions, focus should be on healing the emotion not discussing the problem and the emotion.

Anything done repeatedly becomes a habit. It is our creation and we can change by creating a new habit. Focus on creating the new habit rather than finishing the old one.

Morning meditation silences the conscious mind and implants the seeds of new habits in the subconscious mind.

 

 

Episode 5

 

To change any habit we take care of 4 aspects. Gyan – Knowledge, Yog – Meditation, Dharna -Inculcation of qualities and Seva - Sharing.

Meditation means to check your emotional blockages, see the thoughts behind it and then replace those thoughts with the truth. For eg. No one loves me is the blockage. Replace it with, I am a Loveful soul, I will give love and acceptance to everyone.

Rajyoga Meditation means connecting to the Supreme Power, God and taking His powers and love to heal our blockages.

 

Episode 6

 

Success inside i.e. stability, comfort, happiness inside will have an influence on getting success outside.

When two people are in conflict inside, they cannot create harmony in the relationship. Harmony inside, i.e comfort, stability inside flows into a relationship and creates harmony.

We always thought if the relationship is beautiful, if we get along well, then we will be very happy. The truth is if we are happy then the relationship will be beautiful.

Knowledge is not to be used only for reading, listening and feeling nice, but to be experimented and implemented in daily living.

Early morning the absorption capacity of the mind is high, fill it with pure powerful information i.e. spiritual knowledge and keep the newspaper for later in the day.

 

Episode 7

 

When we take knowledge shared by others and implement it, we silence our noisy mind, then our own innate wisdom will emerge and this will change our deep belief systems.

Study knowledge in the morning and then attention in the day on its application in situations, this is Dharna, inculcation of values. We shift from reactive behaviors to consciously responding from our original qualities of peace, love and respect.

When we respond with stability in smaller situations we conserve energy. When there is a crisis we have the energy to face it with calm and stability.

The knowledge we learn, we share it with the other, this is Seva. When we share we benefit first because we churn the knowledge while sharing. Sharing can also be radiating vibrations of purity.

 

Episode 8

 

To make transformation natural and easy begin the day with meditation. As far as possible at the same time daily and in a dedicated place which is preferably not the bed, where there are vibrations of sleep.

Meditation silences the mind. Then study of knowledge implants seeds of new way of thinking and behaving deep into the subconscious.

A minute of reflection after every hour to check the quality of thoughts and change consciously towards the right way of thinking.

At night review the day. Any action which was not right, we reflect on it and see how we could have responded in a different manner and visualize ourselves doing it a different way.

 

Episode 9

 

We need to check our internal comfort zones of habits and behaviors created due to past experiences or affirmations made by people around us. We may be comfortable being that way, but it is damaging if it is depleting our energy.

Self talk that we create has a deep impact on our sanskars and behaviors. Like we talk positive loving words to others to help them
to change, we need to be positive and loving to ourselves.

Other people’s opinion about us should not stop us from breaking our comfort zones. Goal is to have harmony inside. Easiest way to break a
comfort zone is to start doing the opposite, even if it appears to be difficult.
Each of us is a powerful soul and all of us have the same amount of will power, we choose how much to use. The more we use it, the more we will experience it.

 

Episode 10

 

Subtle way of controlling people is when we change our behavior, like getting angry, hurt, sulking, not talking to them, till they do what
we want them to do.
When we ask people to do things in a particular and they do it our way, we feel we control them and they feel they are being controlled,
both are not true and it makes both weak.
The one who feels they can control will always have the fear of what if they lose control. Their happiness will always be dependent on the
other person doing things their way.
The one who is listening to others needs to be aware that they are choosing to obey for certain reasons.  Important is they are making
the choice, they are not being controlled.
A powerful being is not the one who is able to control others, but the one who is able to control themselves.

 

Episode 11

 

When people don’t do things according to what we want we start being judgmental and critical. This is creating resistance towards them. At that moment we don’t love them, we reject them.

 Resistance is not because of what the other person has done. Resistance is because of how we start thinking in response to what they have done.
Our judgmental thoughts will travel to them and they start creating similar thoughts, and the process of conflict has begun.
Each one is different, no one is right or wrong, we are just different. Acceptance means we accept the difference.
Acceptance means we are comfortable with their present sanskar and way of working and ready to work on it from the next moment i.e. future.
Rejection is focused on the past, the mistake they made.

Episode 12

 

Criticism depletes the energy of the one being criticized and also of the one criticising. The criticiser creates emotions of rejection,
anger, and fear of what if they don’t listen to me.
Criticism creates hurt in the one who is being corrected. When someone is hurt they can follow our instruction but they are not feeling nice and hence we cannot say – it was for their good.
Critique is giving feedback for the deed and criticism is thinking negatively for the doer. Separate the action from the person and give
suggestion only for what they have done.
Appreciate the person’s qualities and the other tasks that they do, build their self confidence and then give them feedback on the task
which has gone wrong.
When we are hurt or angry the feedback goes with the negative vibration and therefore not comfortable for the other. When we are
stable and give the same feedback, it is only a feedback.

 

Episode 13

 

Give advice and corrections to others only after we are doing it in our own lives.
Each soul is carrying sanskars of many births, created due to cultures and situations in every birth.

Sanskars which are not comfortable need to be changed, else we carry them into our next birth too.
Criticism deepens their wounds and sanskars get stronger. Compassion helps them to heal their sanskars.
Correcting people means empowering them to do it better in the future.
Punishment was for what had happened in the past.
Shift from control, discipline, authoritative, punishment to being compassionate, facilitate, guide, empower and heal.

 

Episode 14

 

Habits change only when we know WHY we need to change and we really WANT to change.
MIND creates thoughts, INTELLECT evaluates and decides, comes into action, repeated action becomes a HABIT or SANSKAR.

Once it is a habit, the mind does not create too many thoughts and the intellect does not evaluate, the habit comes into action
automatically.
To change a habit, first we have to create a new way of thinking.
Shift from automated way of thinking to consciously choosing a new thought.
When the new thought is created, we will start feeling better. Now bring the new thought into action. We are consciously creating a new
habit.

 

Episode 15

 

Life is not a competition. Each one is on their own journey, live according to your choices, capacity, values and principles.

The output of our actions is in proportion to our inputs. Inputs could be circumstances, health, resources, and value systems. Our output is not dependent on the output of others.

Past Karma is a very important input factor. Even if all the present input factors of two people are the same, their past karma are different, therefore output will be different and therefore no competition.

If we compromise on our input factor – values or interfere with the inputs of others, we are creating deep karma and this will influence our output today and in the future.

 

Episode 16

 

Negative thoughts like jealousy, hatred, anger, criticism are toxic and large in number. They make us feel heavy.

When someone is jealous of us, we need to empathise with them, they are insecure and they feel they have not got what they deserve to be happy.

The one who is jealous is not feeling nice and they may not speak nicely about us, but we do not need to justify ourselves by talking badly about them.

Continue to create beautiful clean thoughts of understanding and love for the person who is jealous of us, these pure thoughts will help them to heal themselves.

 

Episode 17

 

Very often our behavior is only a reflection of the way others have behaved with us, and in the process our own personality is lost.

Irrespective of environment and people, let us retain our original qualities, so that we will be comfortable and we will spread the fragrance around.

Values are our strength, even if no one around us is using it and even if others think they don’t work, we should not give up.

With values we need humility to accept others around who may not use the same values, and power to face the challenges that might come because of living by our values.

Let’s choose one value and then use it with everyone, everywhere and every time.

 

Episode 18

 

To take control of situations first take control of yourself.

In every situation instead of checking what is right for the situation or the other person, first take care of what is the right way for me to be in this situation.

Going out of control means disconnected from your natural self of purity, peace, love and happiness.

One wrong has no right to correct another wrong, and no power to change them. We have to be in the right before inspiring others to change.

If family or friends are in pain, hurt or anger, we have to first take care of ourselves, remain stable and then help them to come out of it.

When we use love as the way of working, our internal strength, makes people - want to respect us for our inner power, rather than - have to respect us for our position.

 

Episode 19

 

Our negative emotions have an impact on the mind, body and relationships. Physical disease is easier to heal, but emotional hurt and relationship conflict is a deeper impact.

Sanskars of this birth are easier to change, sanskars being carried for many births need more attention.

Assertiveness is stability inside and focus on the act, not on the person who has made the mistake.

Assertiveness retains the respect for the person and corrects the task. Anger is an attack on the person, and also brings up the past.

A silent mind silences other noisy minds. If parents and teachers have silent minds, they will help children to concentrate.

 

Episode 20

 

In any situation, control your state of mind, then look for an alternate way of thinking and delete the emotional baggage held against people.

If we hate someone, when we leave the costume we carry the imprint of hatred, and when the two souls meet again they experience hatred.

Every time we carry forward the unpleasantness, the magnitude and complexity increases. To change the quality of the interaction right now is only one thought away.

If someone has cheated or betrayed us, one option is to create hatred and carry it forward. Other option is to create forgiveness and change the quality of interaction.

Whatever others are doing to us is a return of our past karma, they are not wrong. The response we choose now will create our present and decide our future.

 

Episode 21

 

Our thoughts, words and actions are the energy we send to people, which is our karma. Situations and people’s behaviors are the energy on the return, which is our destiny.

If God wrote our destiny, it would be a perfect destiny. Our destiny is created by our karmas, our free will, not by the will of God.

God can never get angry with us. God can never curse us. God will only bless us, forgive us and give us the strength to correct our mistakes.

God gives the knowledge of right and wrong karmas, the strength to create good karma and the power to face the consequences of our past karma.

When we are performing rituals they need to be done with the intention of purity and love for God. Not an intention of fear of God or to appease God so that life is smooth for us.

Episode 22

1. When we do something for pleasing others, we do the act, but we create a lot of negative thoughts of stress, anxiety, unwillingness which reach the other person.

2. We say yes to people only for their approval. We think when they approve of us, they love us, if they love us we will be happy. We do everything for pleasing people but we are still not happy because of the unwillingness we have created.

3. Due to our low self esteem we are dependent on others Approval, Acceptance and Appreciation for feeling good. We are then ready to do things to please people so that we do not face rejection.

4. Approval, acceptance and appreciation is like a drug, dependency goes on increasing and our vulnerability increases so we feel rejected by a single word or gesture.

Episode 23

1. We need to be prepared we will lose people’s approval when we do something different from what they expected, but that does not mean we are not right or not good.

2. When we choose to do something for others, it is because their happiness matters to us, it is important for our relationship, so we are actually doing it for ourselves. Always do it after we understand we are doing it for OUR happiness not for them.

3. If we feel we are doing it for them, then we may do it without being happy, and then neither us nor they will be happy.

4. If we give what we want whether it is love, acceptance or appreciation, we will experience it before we give it. This makes us a master who gives, not a slave who is dependent on others.

Episode 24

1. Trust should be the first thing to come in a relationship and the last thing to go and actually should never ever finish.

2. When we say we cannot trust someone again, we actually fear the hurt we will create if they do something which we did not expect. We do not fear trusting them, we fear our getting hurt.

3. They have done something which is not right for us, but the hurt we create is totally our responsibility and we have a choice how much and for how long to remain hurt.

4. Every time we create hurt we are getting weaker and then we create hurt even in simpler situations, because getting hurt is becoming our sanskar, and then trusting people becomes difficult.

5. When we start healing our selves, we do not fear getting hurt, and then we are able to trust people because even if they do things differently, we will be able to take care of ourselves.

6. When we doubt people around us in society or at the work place then doubt becomes our sanskar, and then it becomes difficult to trust family and friends.

Episode 25

Expectations means we have already decided the outcome of a situation or a person’s behavior and according to us that is the RIGHT way.

We want the outcome to be only OUR WAY for us to remain stable. If it happens any other way we will get disturbed, even if it is a better way.

When we get disturbed, we hold them responsible for our reaction and we even feel that they have let us down by not meeting our expectations.

Not having expectations does not mean that we will not give instructions or corrections. It means whatever may be the outcome we will be open to being in the present moment and respond proactively.

Give instructions and opinions, but do not expect that they have to be followed the way and at the time which we think is right. If we have expectations we react negatively. If we do not have expectations, we will accept the outcome and respond positively.

If we get hurt and react often, very soon we label them saying – they NEVER listen to us, they ALWAYS let us down.