Fwd: Gr8 article
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From: Sarale Hendel <sarale...@gmail.com>
Date: January 30, 2014 at 12:55:38 PM EST
To: "heyp...@googlegroups.com" <heyp...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Fwd: Gr8 article
Here's something (that BR new york sent to their students) about mashpia.I think it's good and informative so read it!!!You think you’re doing this for yourself?! The Rebbe begged us Chassidim, as a BAKASHA NAFSHIS, to have Mashpios.
You think you’re doing this for the Rebbe?! “This is the biggest favor I have ever done for myself.” Try it, you’ll like it.
Take the plunge.
At this point, many of us understand the need for it and the importance of it, but we’re stuck on a few questions, or more specifically on one point – who to ask?
So let’s address number one: What does the Rebbe have to say about it?
A) “Rachmanus, Baishanus, Gomel Chasodim” - a kind, compassionate person who can make space for you.
B) If you claim you need a lot of time to find the perfect Mashpia - it’s a shame on the time that will pass until then without you fulfilling this Horaah. At least appoint for yourself a temporary Mashpia until you find your perfect match.
I know I want someone who will keep me focused and help me work on myself in different areas. “But I think I’m doing pretty fine!” Ding-dong. Time for me to get one.
Here are some things I think about, that if I would have someone on top of me to discuss it with, I would become the best I could be:
Do I ever think about myself? Do I ever think about what my opinion is on a certain matter, without having others influence my way of thinking? Do I ever think about my talents? Do I spend my time developing them? Do I know where I am headed in life? Do I know what my goals are, or what they should be? Do I feel that yiddishkeit is distant to me? How can I make Yiddishkeit mine?
Do I think about how I can strengthen my Hiskashrus? is there something that I have a hard time getting out of and am looking for ideas how to do so? How can I make a difference to those around me?
Do I feel that I am the best I can be? If not, do I think about how I can get there?
In regard to summer, do these things come to mind?
Which girls am I surrounding myself with? When I’m around those people, what does it make me do? When I don’t have structure… what do I spend my time doing? How can I make the summer the most productive yet?
If I’ve thought about all the above, and even if I think I can figure it out all alone, Listen here, there’s no way can I get there alone. We need someone to give us clarity, who will get us to think and be HONEST with ourselves, and make us be the best we could be.
How many of us think! If we would think, we’d be different, act different, relate to others differently.
Especially nowadays, we need direction, we need Rebbe – so here the Rebbe gave us a way to get it.
So I can say, fine, I’ll ask myself all these questions, or I can discuss it with my friends. Now let me be honest and compare this to someone older and more experienced than myself. And most importantly, a Mashpia carries the Brachos of Rebbe, she transmits the Rebbe’s words. Brachos come through Mashpia. It’s not just about opening the Igros. The Rebbe gave this channel.
So who should I ask?
I need to think of someone whom I admire.
It may be a counselor, family friend, older sister’s friend, former/current teacher, a staff member from camp.
This is so awkward. I’m gonna ask my teacher??? My Bnos Leader??? My counselor??? Either she barely knows me, or if she does, I just feel so uncomfortable asking her.
Well guess what? She’s a human being too! - with more life experience - and if she’s someone with the right values, she won’t look down on me for asking. If anything, she’ll respect me for it.
So how do I ask her?
Muster the courage, pick up the phone and ask.
I’m nervous – what if she says no?
Hopefully the person will say yes. If she doesn’t, it’s probably with my best interests in mind. I shouldn’t get discouraged; she won’t look at me any different now. Give it more thought, and try someone else. The Rebbe’s with me in this – it’s not just about me.
So she said yes. What now? When should I call? What should I do?
Each to their own. I can either call when things come up, or a good idea is to touch base every so often, for example make a specific time if that will help me keep in touch.
What if I have nothing to speak about?
It will come with time; I don’t need to worry. I need to do step number one and everything else will fall into place. I’ll just talk and tell her what’s going on in my life, and she will pick up cues as to what really needs to be discussed. It’s all about me and what I need at any given time.
What’s the relationship supposed to be like?
It’s not enough to just “get one. I need to “have one
". It’s up to me to make it happen. She’s there to help me, but she’s not running after me.Do I have to tell her everything?
Technically no. But in order to get a complete answer, I wanna give a complete picture. The last thing I want to do is ask 5 different people for advice, get different opinions, and put it together in my own way. Nothing doing.
The person doesn’t have to be like me. If she’s a role model who will understand, is there for others, and can really care about me - I’m gonna go for it.
A Mashpia is not a therapist. I’ll go get help if I need help.
But it’s one thing to have someone giving me advice. In a way it’s easier for me to not have a Mashpia, and therefore not have to work so hard and feel bad not doing what I have to do.
Let’s not fool ourselves. That’s called easy way out – the short and long way. Deep down we all know what the right thing is. Man is born to work, there’s a reason why it’s called Avodah. I’m investing in MYSELF.
Does it have to be someone officially appointed?
Oh yeah! I want the Koach of the Rebbe here, and I want both of us to take this seriously.
Make Yiddishkeit real. I need to put myself in the equation – but theres no way to do this on my own because then its MY picture not THE picture.
There is much more on Mashpia. These are but a few basic questions that have hindered me… but now I feel ready.
Challenge!! The first person who comes to mind, ask her!!
* A Project of Achos Hatemimim 5774 *
With credit to Bais Rivkah Elementary and High School
Now hear it from the Rebbe!--
Moshiach NOW!Shayna
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