FW: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Howard Brazee
From: Enterprise Systems Update
[mailto:SearchDa...@lists.techtarget.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 10:19 AM
To:
Subject: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
SearchDataCenter.com: Enterprise Systems Update
May 21, 2008
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
PRACTICAL JOKES FOR MAINFRAME SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS
http://go.techtarget.com/r/3694490/765893
Robert Crawford, Contributor
Work has gotten too serious. Between the demand for 100% availability
and the need to do more with fewer people, there is little room for
those water-cooler moments we used to enjoy. It's time to revive joy
in the workplace and build team spirit. This column suggests some
practical jokes that will engender mirth and leave everyone in
stitches.
READ THE FULL STORY
http://go.techtarget.com/r/3694491/765893
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Richards, Robert B.
jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
Bob
---------------------------------------------------------
Robert B. Richards
US Office of Personnel Management
1900 E Street NW Room: BH04L
Washington, D.C. 20415
Phone: (202) 606-1195
Email: robert....@opm.gov
---------------------------------------------------------
Mark Zelden
<Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
>As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
>jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>
What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry,
the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube
that sits next to me.
--
Mark Zelden
Sr. Software and Systems Architect - z/OS Team Lead
Zurich North America / Farmers Insurance Group - ZFUS G-ITO
mailto:mark....@zurichna.com
z/OS Systems Programming expert at http://expertanswercenter.techtarget.com/
Mark's MVS Utilities: http://home.flash.net/~mzelden/mvsutil.html
Edward Jaffe
> As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
> jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>
Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I
guess that means I should be locked up! :-D
--
Edward E Jaffe
Phoenix Software International, Inc
5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800
Los Angeles, CA 90045
310-338-0400 x318
edj...@phoenixsoftware.com
http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/
Richards, Robert B.
funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did
not hit my funny bone for some reason.
Bob
-----Original Message-----
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On
Behalf Of Mark Zelden
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:58 PM
To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B.
<Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
>As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
>jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>
What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't
worry,
the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the
cube
that sits next to me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rob Scott
Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user.
Made me smile.....
Rob Scott
Rocket Software, Inc
275 Grove Street
Newton, MA 02466
617-614-2305
rsc...@rs.com
Richards, Robert B.
two cents and decided that to actually do these jokes would not be
funny.
---------------------------------------------------------
Robert B. Richards (Bob)
US Office of Personnel Management
1900 E Street NW Room: BH04L
Washington, D.C. 20415
Phone: (202) 606-1195
Email: robert....@opm.gov
---------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On
Behalf Of Edward Jaffe
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:04 PM
To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
McKown, John
problems and possible termination. The last, reinitializing a DBMS
volume actually happened to me. Well, it was a DB2 system (not data)
volume which somehow got the CA-1 TMC allocated on it. The DBA backed up
the volume, made some changes, and then restored it. This wiped out a
lot of TMC updates. Luckily, we detected this early and recovered from
the AUDIT.
--
John McKown
Senior Systems Programmer
HealthMarkets
Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage
Administrative Services Group
Information Technology
The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged
and/or confidential. It is for intended addressee(s) only. If you are
not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure,
reproduction, distribution or other use of this communication is
strictly prohibited and could, in certain circumstances, be a criminal
offense. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the
sender by reply and delete this message without copying or disclosing
it.
Binyamin Dissen
<Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
:>Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was
:>funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did
:>not hit my funny bone for some reason.
He should have password protected his session.
Very bad idea to walk away while remaining signed on.
:>-----Original Message-----
:>From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On
:>Behalf Of Mark Zelden
:>Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:58 PM
:>To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
:>Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
:>On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B.
:><Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
:>>As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
:>>jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
:>What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't
:>worry,
:>the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
:>I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the
:>cube
:>that sits next to me.
--
Binyamin Dissen <bdi...@dissensoftware.com>
http://www.dissensoftware.com
Director, Dissen Software, Bar & Grill - Israel
Should you use the mailblocks package and expect a response from me,
you should preauthorize the dissensoftware.com domain.
I very rarely bother responding to challenge/response systems,
especially those from irresponsible companies.
Gary DiPillo
Gary
> Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was
> funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did
> not hit my funny bone for some reason.
>
> Bob
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On
> Behalf Of Mark Zelden
> Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:58 PM
> To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
> Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
> On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B.
> <Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
>
> >As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
> >jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
> >
>
> What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't
> worry,
> the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
>
> I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the
> cube
> that sits next to me.
>
Daniel McLaughlin
Daniel McLaughlin
Z-Series Systems Programmer
Information & Communications Technology
Crawford & Company
4680 N. Royal Atlanta
Tucker GA 30084
phone: 770-621-3256
fax: 770-621-3237
email: Daniel_M...@us.crawco.com
web: www.crawfordandcompany.com
Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 "Business Insurance" Readers Choice Awards
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Chase, John
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List On Behalf Of Richards, Robert B.
>
> As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these
> practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
Indeed. Remapping somebody's keyboard might be harmless enough, but
from there the "jokes" descend to real and serious crime.
-jc-
Gary Green
On Wed May 21 13:16 , Rob Scott <RSc...@ROCKETSOFTWARE.COM> sent:
>I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called "IJKEFT01" whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the "target" userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals.
>
>Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user.
>
>Made me smile.....
>
>
>Rob Scott
>Rocket Software, Inc
>275 Grove Street
>Newton, MA 02466
>617-614-2305
>rsc...@rs.com
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU','','','')">IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe
>Sent: 21 May 2008 18:04
>To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
>Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
>Richards, Robert B. wrote:
>> As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
>> jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>>
>
>Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D
>
>--
>Edward E Jaffe
>Phoenix Software International, Inc
>5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800
>Los Angeles, CA 90045
>310-338-0400 x318
>edj...@phoenixsoftware.com
>http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/
>
Edward Jaffe
> I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called "IJKEFT01" whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the "target" userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals.
>
In school, *someone* wrote a program called "FUN" that simulated the
"command prompt" of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple
program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica
of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued
(similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND xxxxx NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then
re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching
people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D
Gary Green
On Wed May 21 11:00 , Edward Jaffe <edj...@PHOENIXSOFTWARE.COM> sent:
Chase, John
> On Wed May 21 11:00 , Edward Jaffe sent:
>
> >Rob Scott wrote:
> >> I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright
> spark once wrote a program called "IJKEFT01" whose sole
> purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was
> the "target" userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra
> TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals.
> >>
> >
> >In school, *someone* wrote a program called "FUN" that simulated the
> >"command prompt" of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple
> >program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact
> >replica of the message that would appear when an
> unrecognized command
> >was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND xxxxx NOT FOUND in
> TSO/E), and
> >then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input.
> >Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D
Was "someone's" initials E. E. J. ?
-jc-
Don Leahy
> Was "someone's" initials E. E. J. ?
>
Another 'someone' once wrote a clist that displayed an exact replica
of the TSO logon screen that was in use at the time.
The clist was named after a commonly used local function, so when the
poor victim used it, he would think that he'd been booted off the
system. He'd scratch his head, and try to log on again, but the
"logon" screen would ignore his password. It was programmed to
unlock itself after about 10 attempts.
Wayne Driscoll
terminal (easy in the "dumb" terminal days) and display a screen that would
look just like the USS MSG10 screen. When the person attempted to logon, it
would respond with idiotic messages, after clearing all data out of the
buffers. So you would walk into his office for help, he would kill the job
that was running, so the screen would clear with you away from it. He would
then walk over and proceed to logon as normal. Once you learned the trick,
you would first look at the operator info area of the screen to see what
type of session you where in before trying to logon.
Wayne Driscoll
Product Developer
NOTE: All opinions are strictly my own.
-----Original Message-----
From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf
Of Edward Jaffe
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:01 PM
To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
David Andrews
> I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once
> wrote a program called "IJKEFT01"
Dave Phillips, Tom Rusnak and I once engaged in that sort of "wheel war"
about a million years ago.
An example of the sort of thing we'd do: when the other guy logged in,
he'd see an annoying message "Hey nerd-boy!" or something like that.
After logging in a few times it would become an irritant, and he'd look
around to see where it came from and get rid of it.
That was the fun part: leaving lots of false leads. Oh look: his logon
proc has been changed to one that executes a SEND. He changes his logon
proc back to his standard one, logs on again and gets "Hey nerd-boy!"
Hrm. Further study of his regular logon proc reveals that it STEPLIBs
an unfamiliar library with a dubious copy of IKJEFT01. Remove that
library from the logon proc, logon again... and get "Hey nerd-boy!" for
his trouble. Dang. Check the logon proc again, and notice that it
executes IKJEFTO1 (letter oh). That was sneaky. Fix the logon proc
again and re-logon. "Hey nerd-boy!" Dang. Okay, is the version of
IKJEFT01 in the link pack same as the real one? I wouldn't have MLPA-ed
or MODREP-ed a tainted copy of the TMP... would I?
That was well over 20 years ago, back when we worked 16 hour days for
the joy of it. These days the auditors and security officers would go
berzerk; but at the time *we* were in charge of security, and EDP
auditors hadn't yet arrived on the scene. It boiled down to harmless
fun: nobody was hurt by it, and we never broke anything (didn't dare!),
and we even learned some cool stuff along the way.
Growing up is overrated.
(BTW creative misuse of the TSO "TERMINAL" and "PROFILE" commands was
always good for laughs if you found someone's line-mode TSO session
unguarded. Sort of like remapping someone's 3270 emulator today.)
--
David Andrews
A. Duda and Sons, Inc.
david....@duda.com
Dee Shrier
when a user would log on that his logon authority was temporarily
suspended pending an investigation by the security department - great
fun when you were just getting back from a nice, relaxing vacation.
Also, about 20 years ago, I had a problem with my boss using my PC when
I had left for the day to snoop around on the network. I created a
little C program that would log all after-hours commands entered on it
(with time-stamps). When I allowed him to see copies of the printed
logs laying around my PC keyboard, he desisted. But that didn't stop me
from going into his office one lunch break a few days later and setting
his MFM interleaving factor to 15.
Wayne Driscoll wrote:
> I once worked with a guy that wrote a VTAM app that would acquire someone's
> terminal (easy in the "dumb" terminal days) and display a screen that would
> look just like the USS MSG10 screen. When the person attempted to logon, it
> would respond with idiotic messages, after clearing all data out of the
> buffers. So you would walk into his office for help, he would kill the job
> that was running, so the screen would clear with you away from it. He would
> then walk over and proceed to logon as normal. Once you learned the trick,
> you would first look at the operator info area of the screen to see what
> type of session you where in before trying to logon.
>
> Wayne Driscoll
> Product Developer
> NOTE: All opinions are strictly my own.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Leahy
> always good for laughs if you found someone's line-mode TSO session
> unguarded. Sort of like remapping someone's 3270 emulator today.)
>
to another project for half a day. The PL didn't want to bother
setting up my RACF access for such a short assignment, so he just gave
me his password (which was against the rules, even in those days) and
let me use his TSO userid.
The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own
userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of
changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10
setting to match the one I was accustomed to.
This would have been fine except that I forgot to change it back again
when I finished using his userid.
I heard some colourful language the next day when the PL SAVE'd some
changes he'd meant to CANCEL. :-)
He couldn't very well report me to Security, since he shouldn't have
let me use his userid in the first place. :-)
Tom Marchant
1. Take all the drawers out of someone's desk, turn the desk upside down and
re-insert the drawers so that they were right-side up in the upside down
desk. The guy comes in, turns his desk back right-side up and when he opens
a drawer, its contents spill onto the floor, or his lap.
2. Remove the contents of a desk drawer and fill it with card chads and a
propellor hooked to a rubber band, like one of those toy airplanes. When he
opens the drawer, the propeller takes off and throws chads everywhere.
--
Tom Marchant
Jerry Fuchs
Showing your age!
Whish I had thought of that back when we had them!
Jerry
Tom Marchant <m42tom-...@YAHOO.COM>
Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
05/21/2008 03:53 PM
Please respond to
IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
Subject
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
McKown, John
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List
> Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 2:58 PM
> To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
> Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
>
> Showing your age!
>
> Whish I had thought of that back when we had them!
>
> Jerry
Or he's in Florida!
--
John McKown
Senior Systems Programmer
HealthMarkets
Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage
Administrative Services Group
Information Technology
The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Patrick O'Keefe
<Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
>I smiled when I read them, but then the adult inside me kicked in his
>two cents and decided that to actually do these jokes would not be
>funny.
>...
I very seldomly find practical jokes funny. But I could see something
similar to most of those happening through a brain-check or finger-
check. You have to be able to laugh after the fact. Or cry.
In a similar vein, ...
Back in the 80s, back when IEBCOPY had multiple load modules for
various functions (an overlay config?), a clever operator decided to
compress SYS1.LINKLIB for us.
That's a good "joke" to play on any shop on a very old release.
Pat O'Keefe
Rick Fochtman
> In school, *someone* wrote a program called "FUN" that simulated the
> "command prompt" of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple
> program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact
> replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command
> was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND xxxxx NOT FOUND in TSO/E),
> and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input.
> Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D
--------------------<unsnip>------------------
I had a program that took control of the whole system. It then issued
the message "System error has occurred. Reply '/crash ' or '/nocrash'"
No matter what you replied, the result was the same: "Invalid reply.
'/Crash' assumed." Then the whole core box was cleared and a branch to
location x'00'. Even SADUMP was useless as a debugging tool. :-)
Howard Brazee
>The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own
>userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of
>changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10
>setting to match the one I was accustomed to.
I limit my Fkey function changes to changes that won't mess others up.
This can mean in SDSF I have commands for Shift-7 & shift-8 that
correspond with the default 7 & 8. And my shift-swap work with swap
options.
The only one that is real different is F12 because I need a key for
recall.
The most common command people (I have seen) have different from that
does a Submit.
Howard Brazee
wrote:
>'card chads'?
>
>Showing your age!
>
>Whish I had thought of that back when we had them!
Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's
eyes.
Gerhard Adam
$TSYS=HI
$HASP000 OK
$HASP999 System now in high speed
Adam
Rick Fochtman
>>'card chads'?
>>
>>Showing your age!
>>
>>Whish I had thought of that back when we had them!
>>
>>
>
>Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's
>eyes.
>
>
--------------------<unsnip>-------------------
AMEN. Spent 6 weeks with an eyepatch because of a "practical joker";
chads damaged my cornea to the point where a transplant was seriously
considered.
Ted MacNEIL
The blogger was correct.
We have lost our sense of humour.
Did anybody read the disclaimer?
[Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this post, it is in fact, a joke. Please don’t try this at work. — Matt Stansberry, Editor]
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
Paul Gilmartin
>
>The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own
>userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of
>changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10
>setting to match the one I was accustomed to.
>
>when I finished using his userid.
>
>I heard some colourful language the next day when the PL SAVE'd some
>changes he'd meant to CANCEL. :-)
>
which as your experience demonstrates, is similarly destructive when
unintended.) It's users' foolishness in so doing which impels
vendors to presume to save them from their own stupidity by
adding PITA confirmation dialogs on such commands.
-- gil
Ted MacNEIL
unintended.) It's users' foolishness in so doing which impels vendors to presume to save them from their own stupidity by adding PITA confirmation dialogs on such commands.
It IS NOT stupidity to customise keys!
If a user wants a SAVE or CANCEL key, and knows where it is, what is the problem?
It's the sharing IDs that was the problem, with different preferences.
The sharing of IDs was never a good practice.
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Gilmartin
>
>That was well over 20 years ago, back when we worked 16 hour days for
>the joy of it. These days the auditors and security officers would go
>berzerk; but at the time *we* were in charge of security, and EDP
>auditors hadn't yet arrived on the scene. It boiled down to harmless
>fun: nobody was hurt by it, and we never broke anything (didn't dare!),
>and we even learned some cool stuff along the way.
>
practical jokes. While each had superuser authority, neither
ever used it to hack the other. However, terminals left
unattended on unprivileged logins were fair game ...
-- gil
Paul Gilmartin
>
>It IS NOT stupidity to customise keys!
>If a user wants a SAVE or CANCEL key, and knows where it is, what is the problem?
>
OTOH, I recall bitter opposition (though not unanimous) in
these pages when I expressed a wish that ISPF would allow
me to disable in my profile confirmation of data set deletion.
I wouldn't make DELETE or CANCEL a single keystroke command,
but I feel "D<ENTER>" gives me sufficient opportunity to
reconsider, and I shouldn't need to type "/" to bypass
confirmation every time I enter DSLIST.
Roger Bolan
practical, sort of like the stuff that happens to Wiley Coyote. These are
funny to think about, or see in a cartoon, but not funny if they really
happened to someone. I think the guideline for "jokes" has to be
harmlessness. A joke should be funny and clever. It can be annoying or
embarrassing or frustrating, but you have to draw the line at the
potential for actual harm. If it has the potential for real harm, then it
is not a joke.
Roger Bolan
Boulder, Colorado, USA
P Think before you print
Ted MacNEIL
There is a way in DSLIST, or ISPF EDIT.
Make the single CANCEL Key (EDIT) the following:
==> CANCEL;;
Where ';' is your logical ENTER key (';' is the default).
You can do the same with DSLIST -- I just can't remember if the format is the same.
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ted MacNEIL
What is with you people?
There was a disclaimer at the front, stating that it was satire and don't do this at work!
Why is the end of the world?
Robert A. Rosenberg
Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers:
>Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was
>funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did
>not hit my funny bone for some reason.
>
>Bob
This reminds me of a joke pulled on a fellow student (whose last name
happened to be Phelps) a large number of years ago. We had a time
sharing system (with a tractor paper feed terminal) where you were
allow a designated amount of computer time a week. One day his
account was set to start outputting a "Mission Impossible" briefing
starting "Good Morning Mr. Phelps" when he logged on and the ability
to interrupt the session was disabled. The Briefing ended with the
statement "IN 5 SECONDS YOUR TIME FOR THE WEEK WILL SELF-DESTRUCT"
and it started to page eject advance the paper typing the 5-4-3-2-1
count down and then logging him off. Until his account was reset his
remaining time was 0 minutes.
Robert A. Rosenberg
>Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's
>eyes.
They can also affect national elections if not fully detached from
the punched card.
Thomas Berg
my belief that humor and intelligence correlates,
both up and down.
Regards,
Thomas Berg
__________________________________________
Thomas Berg Specialist IT-U SWEDBANK
Schwarz, Barry A
topical for you but a three message thread about CSI severely degrades
the S/N ratio of the list?
-----Original Message-----
From: Ted MacNEIL [mailto:snip]
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 3:28 PM
To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post.
The blogger was correct.
We have lost our sense of humour.
Did anybody read the disclaimer?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel McLaughlin
buttons on the main console. I'd turn the volume all the way up and then
stand back and wait for an alert that rang the bell. Ah, a rudely awakened
(from console stupor) operator was fun to watch.
Daniel McLaughlin
Z-Series Systems Programmer
Information & Communications Technology
Crawford & Company
4680 N. Royal Atlanta
Tucker GA 30084
phone: 770-621-3256
fax: 770-621-3237
email: Daniel_M...@us.crawco.com
web: www.crawfordandcompany.com
Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 "Business Insurance" Readers Choice Awards
Consider the environment before printing this message.
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Thomas H Puddicombe
readers.
Tom Puddicombe
Mainframe Performance & Capacity Planning
CSC North American Public Sector - Civil Group
Computer Sciences Corporation
Registered Office: 3170 Fairview Park Drive, Falls Church, Virginia 22042,
USA
Registered in Nevada, USA No: C-489-59
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Ted MacNEIL <eama...@YAHOO.CA>
Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
05/21/2008 06:28 PM
Please respond to
IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
Subject
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Thomas Berg
You are absolutely right for informational or
instructional texts, but not necesserily for this kind.
There is not wrong to expect some minimal intellectual
understanding or at least basic social experience from
the audience.
Regards,
Thomas Berg
__________________________________________
Thomas Berg Specialist IT-U SWEDBANK
-----Ursprungligt meddelande-----
Från: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] För Thomas H Puddicombe
Skickat: den 22 maj 2008 13:38
Till: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Ämne: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
If that many people misunderstood, it was the author that failed, not the readers.
Tom Puddicombe
Mainframe Performance & Capacity Planning CSC North American Public Sector - Civil Group
Computer Sciences Corporation
Registered Office: 3170 Fairview Park Drive, Falls Church, Virginia 22042, USA Registered in Nevada, USA No: C-489-59
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Ted MacNEIL <eama...@YAHOO.CA>
Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
05/21/2008 06:28 PM
Please respond to
IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
Subject
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post.
The blogger was correct.
We have lost our sense of humour.
Did anybody read the disclaimer?
[Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this
post, it is in fact, a joke. Please don't try this at work. - Matt
Chase, John
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List On Behalf Of Howard Brazee
>
> On 21 May 2008 12:43:34 -0700, don....@LEACOM.CA (Don Leahy) wrote:
>
> >The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up
> because my own
> >userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of
> >changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the
> PL's PFK10
> >setting to match the one I was accustomed to.
>
> I limit my Fkey function changes to changes that won't mess others up.
> This can mean in SDSF I have commands for Shift-7 & shift-8 that
> correspond with the default 7 & 8. And my shift-swap work with swap
> options.
>
> The only one that is real different is F12 because I need a
> key for recall.
>
> The most common command people (I have seen) have different
> from that does a Submit.
That's the limit of my customization: F9 is mapped to SWAP NEXT,
Shift+F9 is SWAP PREV, Shift+F7, 8, 10 and 11 map to MAX UP, MAX DOWN,
MAX LEFT and MAX RIGHT respectively, and Shift+F5 is SUBMIT.
-jc-
John P Kalinich
05/22/2008 07:34:44 AM:
> That's the limit of my customization: F9 is mapped to SWAP NEXT,
> Shift+F9 is SWAP PREV, Shift+F7, 8, 10 and 11 map to MAX UP, MAX DOWN,
> MAX LEFT and MAX RIGHT respectively, and Shift+F5 is SUBMIT.
>
Don't forget PF2 . . . split new
Regards,
John K
Steve Comstock
> -jc- of the IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU> wrote on
> 05/22/2008 07:34:44 AM:
>
>> That's the limit of my customization: F9 is mapped to SWAP NEXT,
>> Shift+F9 is SWAP PREV, Shift+F7, 8, 10 and 11 map to MAX UP, MAX DOWN,
>> MAX LEFT and MAX RIGHT respectively, and Shift+F5 is SUBMIT.
>>
>
> Don't forget PF2 . . . split new
>
> Regards,
> John K
Why not "start"?
Kind regards,
-Steve Comstock
The Trainer's Friend, Inc.
303-393-8716
http://www.trainersfriend.com
z/OS Application development made easier
* Our classes include
+ How things work
+ Programming examples with realistic applications
+ Starter / skeleton code
+ Complete working programs
+ Useful utilities and subroutines
+ Tips and techniques
==> Check out the Trainer's Friend Store to purchase z/OS <==
==> application developer toolkits. Sample code in four <==
==> programming languages, JCL to Assemble or compile, <==
==> bind and test. <==
==> http://www.trainersfriend.com/TTFStore/index.html <==
Chase, John
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List On Behalf Of John P Kalinich
>
> -jc- of the IBM Mainframe Discussion List
> <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU> wrote on
> 05/22/2008 07:34:44 AM:
>
> > That's the limit of my customization: F9 is mapped to SWAP NEXT,
> > Shift+F9 is SWAP PREV, Shift+F7, 8, 10 and 11 map to MAX
> UP, MAX DOWN,
> > MAX LEFT and MAX RIGHT respectively, and Shift+F5 is SUBMIT.
> >
>
> Don't forget PF2 . . . split new
Oops; yes, I have that mapped to Shift+F2. :-)
-jc-
Mickey
> On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B.
>
> <Robert.Richa...@OPM.GOV> wrote:
> >As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
> >jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>
> What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry,
> the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
>
> I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube
> that sits next to me.
>
> --
> Mark Zelden
> Sr. Software and Systems Architect - z/OS Team Lead
> Zurich North America / Farmers Insurance Group - ZFUS G-ITO
> mailto:mark.zel...@zurichna.com
> z/OS Systems Programming expert athttp://expertanswercenter.techtarget.com/
> Mark's MVS Utilities:http://home.flash.net/~mzelden/mvsutil.html
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions,
> Search the archives athttp://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Two decades ago, a lady reporting to me went up north with her fiance
for the wedding. While she was gone, I switched out all the keyboard
letter covers on the middle row of her keyboard to spell out her new
last name (which coincidentally was exactly the same length as the
letters on the middle row of a keyboard. I also switched out the arrow
keys (up for down, right for left). Then we waited on her to return to
work from the wedding and honeymoon. Unfortunately for our "joke", she
was a touch typist and never looked at her keyboard. It was driving us
all crazy that she'd been back in the office for two weeks and still
hadn't noticed anything unusual. Finally, one day she called the help
desk because whenever she'd hit the up arrow key, her cursor would
move down. We still had to point out to her to check out the middle
row of her keyboard. She thought it was hilarious... once she finally
looked down and saw it. But that "joke" took what seemed forever to
unfold... LOL!
Richard Bond
>>> "Mark Zelden" <mark....@ZURICHNA.COM> 5/21/2008 12:58 PM >>>
On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B.
<Robert....@OPM.GOV> wrote:
>As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
>jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>
What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry,
the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-)
I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube
that sits next to me.
--
Mark Zelden
Sr. Software and Systems Architect - z/OS Team Lead
Zurich North America / Farmers Insurance Group - ZFUS G-ITO
mailto:mark....@zurichna.com
z/OS Systems Programming expert at http://expertanswercenter.techtarget.com/
Mark's MVS Utilities: http://home.flash.net/~mzelden/mvsutil.html
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Daniel McLaughlin
Daniel McLaughlin
Z-Series Systems Programmer
Information & Communications Technology
Crawford & Company
4680 N. Royal Atlanta
Tucker GA 30084
phone: 770-621-3256
fax: 770-621-3237
email: Daniel_M...@us.crawco.com
web: www.crawfordandcompany.com
IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU> wrote on 05/22/2008
09:08:38 AM:
> Richard Bond <RBO...@HFHS.ORG>
> Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
>
> 05/22/2008 09:08 AM
>
> Please respond to
> IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
>
> To
>
> IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
>
> cc
>
> Subject
>
> Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender: IBM Mainframe Discussion List <IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU>
> Poster: Richard Bond <RBO...@HFHS.ORG>
> Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
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>
Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 "Business Insurance" Readers Choice Awards
Consider the environment before printing this message.
This transmission is intended exclusively for the individual or entity to which it is addressed. This communication may contain information that is confidential, proprietary, privileged or otherwise exempt from disclosure. If you are not the named addressee, you are NOT authorized to read, print, retain, copy or disseminate this communication, its attachments or any part of them. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this communication from all computers. This communication does not form any contractual obligation on behalf of the sender, the sender's employer, or the employer's parent company, affiliates or subsidiaries.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Leahy
>> Don't forget PF2 . . . split new
>
> Oops; yes, I have that mapped to Shift+F2. :-)
>
> -jc-
>
FWIW, I have Shift-F1 (PFK 13) set to a function that invokes
point-and-shoot Browse on the data set pointed to by the cursor.
Shift-F1 (PFK14) points to a similar function that invokes Edit.
I also have PF4 set to EXPAND. (Which is a recent ISPF command used
for scrollable fields).
Jim Harrison
----- Original Message ----
From: Gary Green <Ga...@EVERGREEN-SYSTEMS.COM>
To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:31:11 PM
Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Now THAT is funny...
On Wed May 21 13:16 , Rob Scott <RSc...@ROCKETSOFTWARE.COM> sent:
>I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called "IJKEFT01" whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the "target" userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals.
>
>Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user.
>
>Made me smile.....
>
>
>Rob Scott
>Rocket Software, Inc
>275 Grove Street
>Newton, MA 02466
>617-614-2305
>rsc...@rs.com
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU','','','')">IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe
>Sent: 21 May 2008 18:04
>To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
>Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
>Richards, Robert B. wrote:
>> As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical
>> jokes are neither practical nor a joke.
>>
>
>Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D
>
>--
>Edward E Jaffe
>Phoenix Software International, Inc
>5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800
>Los Angeles, CA 90045
>310-338-0400 x318
>edj...@phoenixsoftware.com
>http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/
John P Kalinich
wrote on 05/22/2008 10:39:01 AM:
> In a similar vein - someone at my shop in the 80's discovered you
> could use TPUT to send messages to other terminals sans userid.
> Further, combined with an ability to read qsam files, one of which
> contained the text of a symptom dump, the resulting confusion from
> unsuspecting TSO users was quite entertaining.
>
At one time, you could issue SENDs in TSO batch sans userid.
Regards,
John K
Dave Kopischke
>I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post.
>The blogger was correct.
>We have lost our sense of humour.
>
>Did anybody read the disclaimer?
>
>
>[Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this
post, it is in fact, a joke. Please don’t try this at work. — Matt Stansberry,
Editor]
>
I think they added that after they got a bunch of negative responses. Maybe
they should have increased the font. Maybe they should have added <laugh
here> tags.
But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of
the key board was safe and humorous though.
Matthew Stitt
American Airlines getting wrecked by the volume initialization "joke". It
was not a "joke", but lack of finger checking that cause several disks of
DB2 data, etc to be initialized instead of a bunch of new disk recently
installed. Took them several days to get everything back together.
McKown, John
> From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List
> [mailto:IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Matthew Stitt
> Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2008 12:51 PM
> To: IBM-...@BAMA.UA.EDU
> Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
>
> American Airlines getting wrecked by the volume
> initialization "joke". It
> was not a "joke", but lack of finger checking that cause
> several disks of
> DB2 data, etc to be initialized instead of a bunch of new
> disk recently
> installed. Took them several days to get everything back together.
And thus was born the VERIFY(oldvolser) parameter? We had an "open
system" DASD person who claimed to have z/OS knowledge and wanted more
responsibility. This sounded like a good thing. But when asked about
using this parameter on an INIT, he basically said he wouldn't be
bothered with it. He's not here any more.
--
John McKown
Senior Systems Programmer
HealthMarkets
Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage
Administrative Services Group
Information Technology
The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged
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it.
Edward Jaffe
> But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of
> the key board was safe and humorous though.
>
Especially when one of the keys was remapped to issue "TSO DELETE
important.data.set.name" O:-)
--
Edward E Jaffe
Phoenix Software International, Inc
5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800
Los Angeles, CA 90045
310-338-0400 x318
edj...@phoenixsoftware.com
http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ted MacNEIL
I believe you still can in an ACF2 shop, but it's been almost 5 years since I worked in one.
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ted MacNEIL
Actually (tongue in cheek, or not), I didn't find the article amusing, at all.
What I found funny was all the negative responses.
Some people need (less boring) lives.
Arthur Gutowski
Day ever again...
Actually, I was the victim of an over-the-top version of #1. Not only had
they turned my desk, drawers, chair, and terminal upside down (no easy task
in those days - we had REAL furniture), but had flipped all my books (save one
I think they overlooked), binders, post-it notes, tacked up instructions,
cartoons, etc., and even erased my chalkboard and rewrote everything -
verbatim - upside down and backwards. Very creative and very time
consuming. Not sure who the real joke was on...
Art Gutowski
Ford Motor Company ITInfrastructure
agut...@ford.com
Arthur Gutowski
AppsProgs were a little more blurred, my father helped his IT department fix
the access rules for SYS1.LINKLIB in this manner...
Ted MacNEIL
In the days before LLA, I had a system programmer supporting TSOMON.
And, he didn't even know that it was in the link list.
Needless to say, after re-orging, deleting, re-defining, deleting again, the system was so bolluxed up that an IPL was required.
Of course, the IPL wasn't successful, due to the missing link list library.
After many hours of work, we were back.
It was a single system environment.
Of course, that didn't get him fired.
That happened when he modified some IDMS maintenance JCL to work 'better'.
Production IDMS wouldn't come up.
We found the problem.
Link Edits (3) with no entry points defined.
So much for the 'experienced' SYSPROG.
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard Brazee
settings, but from inside editing:
PF1 . . . HELP
PF2 . . . start
PF3 . . . END
PF4 . . . RETURN
PF5 . . . RFIND
PF6 . . . RCHANGE
PF7 . . . UP
PF8 . . . DOWN
PF9 . . . SWAP next PF21 Swap prev
PF10 . . LEFT
PF11 . . RIGHT
PF12 . . RETRIEVE
But from within SDSF:
PF1 . . . HELP
PF2 . . . start PF14 . . SPLIT
PF3 . . . END
PF4 . . . RETURN
PF5 . . . IFIND
PF6 . . . ichange PF18 . . BOOK
PF7 . . . up PF19 . . prev
PF8 . . . down PF20 . . next
PF9 . . . SWAP next PF21 . . SWAP prev
PF10 . . LEFT
PF11 . . RIGHT
PF12 . . RETRIEVE
Howard Brazee
>I also have PF4 set to EXPAND. (Which is a recent ISPF command used
>for scrollable fields).
I just tried it and got '"EXPAND " is not active"'.
How is it used?
Howard Brazee
Barry A) wrote:
>So a fifty message thread about stupid practical jokes is sufficiently
>topical for you but a three message thread about CSI severely degrades
>the S/N ratio of the list?
Some of this discussion actually can help us with our job skills -
with good results.
Don Leahy
> On 22 May 2008 07:02:06 -0700, don....@LEACOM.CA (Don Leahy) wrote:
>
>>I also have PF4 set to EXPAND. (Which is a recent ISPF command used
>>for scrollable fields).
>
> I just tried it and got '"EXPAND " is not active"'.
>
> How is it used?
>
IIRC, EXPAND was introduced in z/OS 1.6 (or 1.7). It only works when
the cursor is on a scrollable field. Scrollable fields are a fairly
new feature, and very uncommon except in products like File Manager
DB2. ISPF option 3.16 (Table edit) has a few.
Rather than scrolling left/right within a scrollable field, EXPAND
displays a popup window that enables you to see the whole field at
once.
Howard Brazee
>IIRC, EXPAND was introduced in z/OS 1.6 (or 1.7). It only works when
>the cursor is on a scrollable field. Scrollable fields are a fairly
>new feature, and very uncommon except in products like File Manager
>DB2. ISPF option 3.16 (Table edit) has a few.
I don't have DB2 (this is an IDMS shop). Can 3.16 edit other types
of tables that we create for export to PCs and such?
Don Leahy
> I don't have DB2 (this is an IDMS shop). Can 3.16 edit other types
> of tables that we create for export to PCs and such?
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard Brazee
>> I don't have DB2 (this is an IDMS shop). Can 3.16 edit other types
>> of tables that we create for export to PCs and such?
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>ISPF 3.16 edits *ISPF* tables, not DB2 tables.
What are *ISPF* tables?