Den estelna giati den epairna oute kan confirmation gia ta prohgoumena
alla fainetai oti lythikan ta provlhmata (tou mail, oxi twn news).
Anyway, here goes.
Johnny and Jim are walking through the desert. Suddenly, a snake bites
Jim's prick! "AAIIIIIII!!" He panics, and John panics. "What can we do?"
"We should call for a doctor."
WHAMMM ! Suddenly, in the middle of the desert, there's a telephone box.
Johnny goes in, calls a doctor. [shm. Twra pou vrethike thlefwno sthn erhmo
einai allo kapelo!].
RING, RING. RING, RING.
J: My friend is bitten by a snake. What to do?
D: What kind of snake?
J: A one meter, green-yellow one.
D: Aye, aye.
D: Those are very dangerous.
J: What can we do?
D: The only thing you can do, is to suck the poison out. Otherwise
your friend will be dead within half an hour.
Johnny hangs up, goes out off the telephone box. Jim, pale looking
already, asks what the doctor said.
Johnny: You'll be dead within half an hour.
The president never allowed drinking during white-house parties. The
employees got mad and threatened to quit, so the president decide it would be
in his best interests to allow drinking and the New Years Party soon came
about. Everybody was getting real spazzed out on thier favorite drinks. The
Next morning the President got up early and decided to take a walk in the Rose
Garden. It was cold as hell at the white-house and there was a snow bank by
the rose garden. He noticed "I love you" inscribed in the snow in yellow and
to him, it was obvious someone peed in the snow. He called the Head of the CIA
into his office when he got back and told him to spare no costs in finding out
who had done that. He said, "No body pisses in my Rose Garden!!!!@(#&^!@"
He also said , "Spare NO cost in finding out the culpirt of this!" Well, the
Chief of the CIA Left and returned three weeks later. The president called him
in and he said, "I hope you found out weho did that!". The Chief replied, "
Yes Sir, I did, beyond a shadow of a doubt. We ran all kinds of tests and
found out that it was your Press Secretary." The president shook his head in
dis-belief. The CIA CHief then mentioned, "Well, that's not all, President, it
was in your wifes' hand-writing!".
These two foreigners are walking up the streets of New York. They just got
off the boat and are really hungry. As they are walking up the street, one
of them spots a sign that says 'hot dogs'. He looks at his buddy and says,
"I did not know they eat dogs here in America". They go into the restaurant
and tell the waiter, "Two dogs please". The waiter brings them their hot dogs
and upon seeing the wiener the one pokes his buddy and asks, "What part did
Woman: Doctor, my husband tells me my pussy's too big. So I'd like you to
tell me if you find it unusual.
Doctor: Please, take off your clothes and I'll have you examined.
Doctor(shouting): What a giant pussy!! What a giant pussy!!
Woman(angry): Did you have to say it twice?!?
Doctor: I didn't.
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.
The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old.
Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day
long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years
old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all
day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every
morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels.
Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."