Anekdoto
Vartan Narinian
22 Augoustou...
Den estelna giati den epairna oute kan confirmation gia ta prohgoumena
alla fainetai oti lythikan ta provlhmata (tou mail, oxi twn news).
Anyway, here goes.
Johnny and Jim are walking through the desert. Suddenly, a snake bites
Jim's prick! "AAIIIIIII!!" He panics, and John panics. "What can we do?"
"We should call for a doctor."
WHAMMM ! Suddenly, in the middle of the desert, there's a telephone box.
Johnny goes in, calls a doctor. [shm. Twra pou vrethike thlefwno sthn erhmo
einai allo kapelo!].
RING, RING. RING, RING.
J: My friend is bitten by a snake. What to do?
D: What kind of snake?
J: A one meter, green-yellow one.
D: Aye, aye.
J: ?
D: Those are very dangerous.
J: What can we do?
D: The only thing you can do, is to suck the poison out. Otherwise
your friend will be dead within half an hour.
Johnny hangs up, goes out off the telephone box. Jim, pale looking
already, asks what the doctor said.
Johnny: You'll be dead within half an hour.
--
Vartan
Vartan Narinian
to see the Doctor about it. The doctor says to him "Well, it must be
your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?" and the man replies "Well,
actually, I only eat peas, i hate all other green foods". The doctor
was quite shocked at this and says "Well man, that's your problem, all
those peas will be clogging up your system, you'll have to give them
up!!". The guy says "But how long for, i mean i really like peas!"
and the doctor replies "Forever, i'm afraid". The man is quite
shocked by this, but he gives it a go and sure enough, his condition
improves, so he realises that he will never eat a pea again. Anyway,
one night, years later, he's at a convention for his employer and
getting quite sloshed and one of the reps says "Well, ashully, i'd
love a cigarette, cozi avint ad a smoke in four years, i gave it up".
Quite a shocker really, and the barman goes, "Really, i haven't had a
game of golf in 3 years, because it cost me my first marriage, so i
gave it up!" and the businessman says "Thas nuvving, i haven't ad a
pea in 6 years" and the barman jumps up screaming "Ok, everyone who
can't swim, grab a table...."
====
The president never allowed drinking during white-house parties. The
employees got mad and threatened to quit, so the president decide it would be
in his best interests to allow drinking and the New Years Party soon came
about. Everybody was getting real spazzed out on thier favorite drinks. The
Next morning the President got up early and decided to take a walk in the Rose
Garden. It was cold as hell at the white-house and there was a snow bank by
the rose garden. He noticed "I love you" inscribed in the snow in yellow and
to him, it was obvious someone peed in the snow. He called the Head of the CIA
into his office when he got back and told him to spare no costs in finding out
who had done that. He said, "No body pisses in my Rose Garden!!!!@(#&^!@"
He also said , "Spare NO cost in finding out the culpirt of this!" Well, the
Chief of the CIA Left and returned three weeks later. The president called him
in and he said, "I hope you found out weho did that!". The Chief replied, "
Yes Sir, I did, beyond a shadow of a doubt. We ran all kinds of tests and
found out that it was your Press Secretary." The president shook his head in
dis-belief. The CIA CHief then mentioned, "Well, that's not all, President, it
was in your wifes' hand-writing!".
--
Vartan
Vartan Narinian
turtles. The bar he walks into happens to own the fastest turtle in the town,
and they have an ongoing contest to win the turtle - whoever can drink the
"House Special" in one breath without puking or passing out wins the turtle.
The old drunk, none the wiser or caring about the contest, staggers up to the
bar and blurts out "I'll take the House Special". The bartender mixes up this
horrid concoction as everyone in the bar looks on. He places it on the bar in
front of the old drunk and the guy slams it down without even wincing, wipes
his mouth on his sleeve and belches. Well everybody in the bar is amazed and
cheers and the bartender congradulates him and hands him the turtle. The old
drunk, extremely confused by now, puts the turtle in his coat pocket and
staggers out of the bar. A few hours later the old drunk shows up again at
the same bar. He sways up to the bar and the bartender asks him, "Back for
another House Special?". "No," the bum sputters, "but I'll take another one
of those ham & cheese on a hard roll!"
=====
These two foreigners are walking up the streets of New York. They just got
off the boat and are really hungry. As they are walking up the street, one
of them spots a sign that says 'hot dogs'. He looks at his buddy and says,
"I did not know they eat dogs here in America". They go into the restaurant
and tell the waiter, "Two dogs please". The waiter brings them their hot dogs
and upon seeing the wiener the one pokes his buddy and asks, "What part did
you get?".
--
Vartan
Vartan Narinian
kai den exw mazepsei akoma ta pragmata mou!! Anyway, magkes, ta leme se
dyomish vdomades opou tha epanelthw drimyteros...
Woman: Doctor, my husband tells me my pussy's too big. So I'd like you to
tell me if you find it unusual.
Doctor: Please, take off your clothes and I'll have you examined.
Doctor(shouting): What a giant pussy!! What a giant pussy!!
Woman(angry): Did you have to say it twice?!?
Doctor: I didn't.
********************************************************************************
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.
The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old.
Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day
long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing
helps."
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years
old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all
day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every
morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels.
Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."
--
Vartan