Earrings and Gay Men
William Rasschaert
I want to throw this out there and see if anyone has an opinion on this.
As my friend and I were walking around Boston on Saturday we got into a
discussion about the aforementioned subject. I think that gay men who get
earrings and have them installed in their left ear are simply hypocrits
to everything we claim we are against. I mean, if you are gay and are
trying to pass yourself off as straight, is that not hypocritical? I
know that the old rules about the left and right ears is no longer used,
but some of my friends got earrings, and they are gay, and put them in
their left ears. They say they keep people guessing, I say that one look
at them, minus the earring, and they would not have to guess as to their
orientation. But I just think that it is hypocritical to try and act
opposite of what you are. Guys, if you have a different opinion, please
be gentle on me, but if you agree, shout it loud. I am particularly
interested in one guy I have been talking with now for several months,
and would like for him to see this on the gaynet, before telling or
asking his opinion. Anyway, don't flame me too bad, take it easy.
Bill
BryP...@aol.com
>>As my friend and I were walking around Boston on Saturday we got into a
discussion about the aforementioned subject. I think that gay men who get
earrings and have them installed in their left ear are simply hypocrits
to everything we claim we are against. I mean, if you are gay and are
trying to pass yourself off as straight, is that not hypocritical? I<<
This question is highly subjective. For one, it assumes that all gay males
who wear an earring in their left ear are doing it for the purpose of passing
themselves off as straight. This may not be the case. The may be simply more
inclined toward one side of their body (ie. right-handed vs. left-handed or
favoring the left foot over the right while walking, etc.) They may also live
in an area where the rules about left ear/right ear are the opposite (I've
heard different variations from different parts of the country.) They may be
simply unaware of the rules regarding right/left.
Further, they simply may be making no statement about their sexuality at all
and are really just wearing the earring out of pure fashion in which case it
doesn't matter which ear is used.
If a homosexual wears an earring in the left ear for the sole purpose of
passing themselves off as straight then it *may* be hypocritical. However, it
may also be simple realization of the dangers of being out to everyone
everywhere at all times. (ie. gay-bashing, anti-gay discrimination, etc.)
It's really a case by case, person to person judgement call.
Bry
Alan Thompson
sufficient; however, I wanted to add a piece of comic relief that I once
heard from Rita Rudner:
"Men who wear earrings are ready for marriage because they have suffered
pain and purchased jewelry."
J. Briggs Cormier
From: jbco...@cc.memphis.edu (J. Briggs Cormier)
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.gaynet
Subject: Re: Earrings and Gay Men
Message-ID: <1995Mar27.0...@msuvx1.memphis.edu>
Date: 27 Mar 95 00:45:31 -0500
References: <Pine.ULT.3.91.950326...@isr.harvard.edu>
Organization: The University of Memphis
News-Moderator: Approval required for posting to bit.listserv.gaynet
Lines: 42
Bill, et all:
My take on it is a bit mixed. Many people pierce a certain way for aesthetic
reasons. I, for instance, had both ears done my first year in college because I
think it looks kind of stupid to have only one hole in one ear. This is just my
personal take on how I'd find it on me. I stress this because I don't care what
anyone else does with their body and their look but for me, it'd have been
"wrong" to just do one ear. Then my senior year in college, I got both ears
pierced again. This is because I do tend to prefer symmetry. This went against
what nearly all of my friends suggested who advocated my only double piercing
my right ear.
In the middle of the summer, the second pierce in the left ear was having
problems and wouldn't heal well so I took it out. I now wear two in the right
and only one in the left.
I did (and still do but one has to consider job possibilities and prejudices)
want to get the holes in my ears switched around. An upper cartilage pierce in
the right with one in lobe and then one on the tragus and lobe for the left.
Like I said, this would have a negative impact on my finding summer employment.
Now, those individuals who are not straight and who wear one ring in the left
ear or two in the left and one in the right and cannot justify it aesthetically
do frustrate me. Yes, the "old rules" really don't apply anymore, but they do
enough to view such action as trying to hide behind a mask. If you are insecure
in your sexual visibility and are fairly closeted then it's an aspect of a
larger issue in your life and I'm not as critical. I respect your reasons for
not wanting to broadcast your orientation. However, if you are out to nearly
everyone and you insist on piercing left and it's not for any aesthetic reason
then I do find it frustrating and hypocritical. I have a friend with two holes
in the left and none in the right. He is now essentially completely out and yet
he won't even consider getting holes in the right. What can I say? I've chided
him over the issue for a long time.
Apologies for the length of this post. The bottom line for me is that if you
are publicly out and you give flimsy excuses for why you pierce left only, I do
think that you are taking one step back towards the closet. As long as you
acknowledge that this is what you're doing, then I won't be aggravated. If,
however, you offer weak excuses....
jason,
l'Acadien
Stewart Wise
I work in a popular cd store and see a variety of piercings daily: nose,
lips, nipples, eyebrows, handweb, between the eyes, and even forehead
pierces. Oh
yea almost everyone has at least one ear pierced. Most have, as Eric
said multiple ear piercings. Believe me though, they have lost any
significance that they might have had years ago. Piercings are so common
now that they are an expression of adhering to current fashion, not
sexual orientation. I know half a dozen guys with pierced cocks...all
straight.
Stewart Wise stew...@infinity.ccsi.com Austin, Texas, USA
eric wrote:
>
> There are really more important things to worry about. No flame, just a
> statement.
>
> Eric in Austin, probably the bodypierce capital of the world.
>
>
Eric Hunt
> used, but some of my friends got earrings, and they are gay, and put
> them in their left ears. They say they keep people guessing, I say
> that one look at them, minus the earring, and they would not have to
> guess as to their orientation. But I just think that it is hypocritical
> to try and act opposite of what you are.
I think you're overreacting, actually.
The first quoted sentence says it all. The old rules are no longer used. No
one cares anymore about which ear a gay guy or a straight guy has an earring
in. In fact, I know more straight men with earrings than I know gay men with
earrings. And of the men I know or I've seen (I know I know, public persona is
suspect), the straight men by far have more earrings, usually multiple pierces
in each ear.
Sam Gilliam
I was told several years ago that it indicated whether you were top or
bottom, just like the hanky code.
On Sun, 26 Mar 1995, Jeffrey Herwatt wrote:
> At 04:02 PM 3/26/95 -0500, William Rasschaert wrote:
> > I think that gay men who get
> >earrings and have them installed in their left ear are simply hypocrits
> >to everything we claim we are against.
>
> Hum, I wasn't awarethat there was a hard and fast rul about the earring and
> where it is installed. I had my eyebrow pierced for some time, I did
> the right side because that is what looked good on me. Can't it just
> be as simple as having a "better look" on one side than the other?
> Why does it have to be a political Statement, instead of a fashion
> statement?
>
> > I mean, if you are gay and are
> >trying to pass yourself off as straight, is that not hypocritical?
>
> Really depends. If you are in a place of power, are gay, and
> then try to pass some gay insensitive law or ruling, that
> is hypocritical. Where one wheres one's earring is nothing
> more than fash, (what cock and ball piercing, is there a code for
> that, and what about Prince Alberts, or guys that have both ears
> pierced - what are they Neutral?)
>
> > They say they keep people guessing,
>
> I like the idea of privacy, but wouldn't apply it to ear rings.
> I don't feel that we should where our sexuality on our
> shirt sleeves when in polite company, but where one
> puts ones ear ring should be a fashion choice!
>
>
> >I say that one look
> >at them, minus the earring, and they would not have to guess as to their
> >orientation.
>
> Sterotyping, now-now, why di you go and do that. I will let someone else
> flame that!
>
> >But I just think that it is hypocritical to try and act
> >opposite of what you are.
>
> Sometimes it is OK. I have a little niece who I absolutely hate,
> there is nothing redeeming about this child, and if there were
> retroactive abortions I would encourage that. But since there
> is little that I can do, I act civil when with her. I don't think
> the twit is aware of my feelings, (though me Mom is!). In
> this case I am hypicritical - but for a purpose - family peace!
>
> >Guys, if you have a different opinion, please
> >be gentle on me,
>
> Ah, you knew that you were walking on egg-shells here!
>
> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> I have abandoned my search for truth,
> and am now looking for a good fantasy.
> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>
>
John Wesley Luther
easier to put in and earring that way. Now I have 4 holes in my left ear
and 2 in my right, and ya know? it's still easier to put the earrings in
my left ear because I am still right handed.
John
perkins david m
right, bottom.
David
Thomas C. Waters
William Rasschaert <w...@isr.harvard.edu> writes:
> I
> know that the old rules about the left and right ears is no longer used,
> but some of my friends got earrings, and they are gay, and put them in
> their left ears. They say they keep people guessing, I say that one look
> at them, minus the earring, and they would not have to guess as to their
> orientation. But I just think that it is hypocritical to try and act
> opposite of what you are.
As you state and others have said the "rules" (which were never really
rules to begin with) no longer exist.
But there is a more important side to this discussion, especially given
Robert Hayden's thread too.
It is downright hard for many people to allow themselves to be visible,
to be seen and heard as what they are GLBT people. It IS much easier,
to "keep them guessing" as your friends say. But unlike you, I
wouldn't refer to them as hypocrites. I think it is important for us
collectively to realize how hard it is for people to come out and be
out in ways that others see. Why do your friends need to "keep them
guessing..." what is gained by this??? I would guess nothing is
gained, but much less is risked. Risk is hard. Well worth the
difficulty, but very hard.
Thomas C. Waters
twa...@pitt.edu
Robert A. Hayden
> But there is a more important side to this discussion, especially given
> Robert Hayden's thread too.
>
> It is downright hard for many people to allow themselves to be visible,
> to be seen and heard as what they are GLBT people. It IS much easier,
> to "keep them guessing" as your friends say. But unlike you, I
> wouldn't refer to them as hypocrites. I think it is important for us
> collectively to realize how hard it is for people to come out and be
> out in ways that others see. Why do your friends need to "keep them
> guessing..." what is gained by this??? I would guess nothing is
> gained, but much less is risked. Risk is hard. Well worth the
> difficulty, but very hard.
Just as some commentary since my name was mentioned. I'v had my left ear
pierced for about 10 years, well since high school, although i don't wear
my earrings out of laziness lately. My brother, on the other hand, who
is an ex-marine and as straight as can be, has BOTH ears pierced and
whole colonies of rings in both of them (at least three in each.
____ Robert A. Hayden <=> Cthulhu Matata
\ /__ -=-=-=-=- <=> -=-=-=-=-
\/ / Finger for Geek Code Info <=> hay...@krypton.mankato.msus.edu
\/ Finger for PGP Public Key <=> http://att2.cs.mankato.msus.edu/~hayden
dbrow...@opal.tufts.edu
straight, in fact, he is getting married this summer. Every year, at the first
GLB party at the med school, I get asked by the first year medical students "Is
HE gay?". I usually get incredulous looks when I say no. Earrings should be a
matter of style, not a statement. If you want to come out at work, wear a pink
triangle, or a rainbow flag on National Coming-Out Day. There are some nice
lapel pins, which look rather smart. Anyways, it works for me.
-Doug
Lionel White
: I want to throw this out there and see if anyone has an opinion on this.
: As my friend and I were walking around Boston on Saturday we got into a
: discussion about the aforementioned subject. I think that gay men who get
[big snip - read original if you can't follow this!]
: Bill
Ok, Bill - I will be gentle...
I wear an earing, and it is in my left ear, and I am gay, and I am
*totally* out, meaning everyone that knows me knows, and really I don't
think it should matter which ear you get a hole put in. It is a matter
of personal taste.
I wear an earing in my left ear beacuse:
1. Most guys wear earings in that ear in oz, and just because I am
gay doesn't mean I have to be different in the way I dress. I am
different in enough areas to make me feel like an individual.
2. The old right for gay, left for str8 just doesn't seem to count. I
know str8 guys who wear an earing in their right ear.
3. For a while it seemed that if you were gay the next alterntaive was to
stick a whole in both ears and wear two earings - this is now also
done by str8 guys. So lets peirce our noses - nope, no good, lots
of str8s do that too - nipples any one, too late str8s do that...
I honestly don't think that it is hipocritical to be honest with
yourself, and that means you are comfortable wearing an earing, regardles
of where then that is fine. If everyone else in the world wants to look
at your eraing as a brand for who you are and sleep with, that is their
problem. Unless they choose to make it yours, who cares!
My earing makes NO difference that I can tell to the way I am percieved,
nearly everyone I have ever met, from shop assistants to work colleagues
assume I am gay - not becuase I am 'girlie' but because I don't hide who
I am nor whom I am in love with.
I think that covers my general comment . . .
___
// // ///// // // ///// //
// // // // // /// // //
// // // // // // ///// // Lionel J White
// // // // // // // // lion...@jolt.mpx.com.au
///// // ////// // // ////// ////// Sydney Australia
*** All opinions are my own - which is just how opinions should be ***
L J White.
David Formichella
I have my left ear pierced (did it myself!), not because it is the
"straight" ear - I have no problem with my orientation - but because it
was the one I preferred. When I did it, my father called me "queer"
anyway. (a conflict long since resolved.). I have since done a second
hole in my left ear, and have no desire to pierce my right ear. I have
no statement to try to make by doing so. I am fully out, have been in a
relationship for nine years now, & have nothing to hide from my friends,
family, or co-workers. I don't flaunt my lifestyle, but I do anything
and everything I or my lover enjoy, & not for anybody except my lover or
myself. Anyway, I guess this is just a long way of sying that yes, I am
openly gay, & no, my RIGHT ear is not pierced. (btw - I have several
straight friends with both ears pierced, so should that mean something??)
---Dave :-}
Dave Formichella
dave...@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us
Alan Teasley
>From my casual observance lately, I wouldn't draw any conclusions about
men, earrings, and sexual orientation (unless of course you have several in
any one ear--big dangly things with maybe a lambda or rainbow flag).
Did you catch Andre Agassi in the Lipton tournament on Sunday? Very
queer chic with very short hair, black tennis shoes with black socks,
baggy long shorts, the requisite 20-something goatee, and two big ole hoop
earrings--and this on a man that once warned Pete Sampras about accepting
flowers from fags.
Sort makes you go hmmmmm....
MERRICK BALDELLI
Bill..
->I want to throw this out there and see if anyone has an opinion on this.
Allow me to add 2 cents work of wisdom:
80. We wear one earring, straights start wearing one. We wear two,
straights start wearing two. Heterosexual culture always steals
our looks, ideas, words and styles. So copyright and patent
whatever possible, and then get used to it.
From "The Gay Guys Guide to Life" by Ken Haynes.
Sincerely,
Merrick Baldelli
--->BALD...@atlas-sc.com
--->Merr...@aol.com
Thomas C. Waters
<Pine.3.89.9503280...@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us>
David Formichella <dave...@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us> writes:
> I have my left ear pierced (did it myself!)
My boyfriend Ben did all his own piercings... ears, tit, and oanother
one that that he'll feel embarrased if I tell all of cyberspace about.
For our 1 yr aniv. we are planning a commitment ceremony where we are
going to do a ceremonial piercing, we are going to pierce each other,
as a way of marking and demonstrating our commitment to the
relationship. We want the ritual to be more like a transition/
intituiation rityual with tribal roots and less like a heterosexist
judeo-christian wedding.
Thomas C. Waters
twa...@pitt.edu