Deaf Jokes
Harry Blackmore
> I love humor. We need more of it on Deaf-L, even though we don't
> all enjoy the same jokes.
Harry Blackmore (Sun, 14 Jan 1996) responded:
> Now to Gordon's jokes - but because I have taken up so much space
> setting the background, I had better leave these to another time!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
(Remember, Gordon is one of my profoundly deaf brothers who signs and
does not speak, and he has a store of favourite jokes he loves to
share with others)
At the outset, I am not offering a list of jokes about deaf people. I
am considering the kinds of jokes which many profoundly deaf people
enjoy. I am not sure there are jokes which are deaf-unique. Jokes by
deaf people, about deaf people, and relating to situations involving
deaf people, are usually variants on ethnic-type jokes.
1. Sound-dependent Jokes
My lengthy experience with many deaf friends leads me to believe that
deaf people are not much different from hearing people in their
general use and appreciation of humour. However, jokes dependent upon
sound (e.g., pronunciation and dialect) may not amuse deaf people
unless they have acquired a high literacy level. Some examples:
"Ptell me, pterodactyl, who ptaught you pto fly?" ('p' is silent)
Teacher: "Use the word 'antennae' in a sentence.
Pupil: "There antennae sweets left!" ('aren't any')
Why did the antelope? Nobody gnu!
Call me a cab. Sir, you are a cab!
Egbert. Egbert who? Egbert no bacon. (egg, but no bacon)
Waiter, what's this? Sir, it's bean soup.
I know it's been soup, but what is it now?
There's nothing more deflating than having to explain uncomprehended
jokes.
Spoken Australian English, as described by professor Afferbeck Lauder
(alphabetical order) of the University of Sinny (Sydney) in his
hilarious book "Let Stalk Strine", is difficult for foreigners to
understand. If you want a copy of the book, please don't ask Emma
Chizzit (don't ask 'how much is it?').
become?
2. Visual-dependent Jokes
Many deaf people seem to enjoy jokes which may be visualised. For
example, my brother Gordon's jokes include the following:
If you throw a yellow stone into the Red Sea, what does it become? (Wet!)
I fell off a fifty foot ladder. Were you hurt? No, I fell off the
bottom rung!
"OK", said the parrot, "You taught me to talk, now I'll teach you to fly!"
A tourist entered a Welsh hotel and saw the words 'TAM HTAB' on the
door mat. He thought it was Welsh for 'WELCOME'. (The mat was upside down)
Mummy, why does it rain? To make things grow...fruit...flowers...
Yes, but why does it rain on the pavement?
Turtle with backache approaches a garage mechanic for a replacement.
He said, "Why ask me?" Turtle pointed to garage sign: SHELL.
Waiter, the crust on this apple-pie is tough. Sir, that's the paper plate!
Waiter, I can't eat this soup. Sir, I'll call the manager.
Mr Manager, I can't eat this soup. Sir, I'll call the chef.
Chef, I can't eat this soup. Why what's wrong with it?
I haven't got a spoon!
If you have ten potatoes, how would you divide these among seven
persons? Mash them!
Why did King Kong climb up the Empire State building? Because he
couldn't fit in the elevator!
Well, you get the general drift - don't say I didn't warn you!
One occasion, when demonstrating the use of sign interpreting in a
medical interview, I used Gordon as a "patient". He told the "doctor"
that he had a runny nose. The doctor diagnosed an allergic reaction
and prescribed appropriate medication, adding, "Come back in three
days if you are no better." To which, quick as a flash, Gordon ad
libbed, "No, if I'm not better in three days, I'll go and see a
plumber!"
Harry Blackmore
(cowering, eyes shut, so he can't see the derisive signs in response!)
--
Dr Harry Blackmore <ha...@perth.dialix.oz.au>
+61 9 245 1474 Mail: 43 Newborough St, Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019