Clarification
Dirk Stanley
I wish to begin by apologizing for the hurt I caused in some people's
lives. In my question (way back when), when I asked about genetics and
autism, I *NEVER* meant to imply there was no reason to have autistic
children. Rather, as Betina mentioned, I just feel that personally, I am
unable to be a good parent. Unfortunately, I have no other family, have
little support mechanism (except for this list), and do not know if I can
provide the care that a good parent should. This goes for a neurotypical
child, as well as an autistic child.
My life has been very enriched by the autistic people I've met, so I
wish to apologize from the bottom of my heart to those who I have caused
such pain. It was never my intention, as I have fought against such
attitudes myself. I will soon be my brother's only advocate. Despite my
brother's inability to faciliate and recent upswing in aggressive
behavior (both towards himself and towards others), I thank the heavens
every day that he's in my life.
I thank sweetmom for trying to help come to my defense, amd I thank those
who have tried to provide me with some information and to those who
stood at my defense, but I especially want to apologize to all of those
who I have hurt. The value of a human life, no matter who it is, is
immeasurable.
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d/dx [ Dirk Stanley ] = [ d...@westnet.com ]^2
_________________________________________________________________________
Tony Langdon
> lives. In my question (way back when), when I asked about genetics and
> autism, I *NEVER* meant to imply there was no reason to have autistic
> children. Rather, as Betina mentioned, I just feel that personally, I am
> unable to be a good parent. Unfortunately, I have no other family, have
> little support mechanism (except for this list), and do not know if I can
> provide the care that a good parent should. This goes for a neurotypical
> child, as well as an autistic child.
No offence taken to your original post, I saw the intent as being an issue of
whether you wanted to accept the responsibilities of raising an autistec child
or not, and not as a value statement of autistic people's lives.
>
> My life has been very enriched by the autistic people I've met, so I
> wish to apologize from the bottom of my heart to those who I have caused
> such pain. It was never my intention, as I have fought against such
> attitudes myself. I will soon be my brother's only advocate. Despite my
> brother's inability to faciliate and recent upswing in aggressive
> behavior (both towards himself and towards others), I thank the heavens
> every day that he's in my life.
I'g happy to hear that. I wish more people in my life were as understanding as
that (they expect me to conform to social norms and all that steff).
>
> who I have hurt. The value of a human life, no matter who it is, is
> immeasurable.
Apology accepted and no offence taken. :-)
Just to put you in the picture, I am 26, and have Asperger's syndrome, and have
no support except for a friend (God bless him) and the mailing lists here.
Phil Schwarz
Thanks for posting your clarification! I'm glad you weren't scared away
by the feedback you got :-) .
Sensitivity to differences in the way different people (with different
contexts of experience, different organizations-of-mind, or different
ways of processing meaning) interpret the same words is a necessity, even
if it's something that has to be acquired by trial-and-error.
In the autism community all of these potential differences obtain.
The fact that only a small minority of people react a certain way to
something does not make that reaction less valid.
Sometimes the heat of the flames one gets reflect not only what it is
that one has said oneself, but the cumulative frustration over reactions
ignored because they were misunderstood, or marginalized because they came
from a small minority. That frustration is real, and understanding it --
instead of retreating from the heat -- helps open new channels of
communication.
I know this from personal experience. I've done a lot of trial-and-error.
I've found in my own case that the hottest flames shed the most light.
Thanks again for sticking with it and clarifying your thoughts, Dirk.
Phil
--
Phil Schwarz
Fidelity Investments, Boston MA
+1-617-563-2738
ph...@stowe.fmr.com
Sam Revitch
: This letter is to everyone on this newsgroup, autistic or neurotypical...
: I wish to begin by apologizing for the hurt I caused in some people's
: lives. In my question (way back when), when I asked about genetics and
: autism, I *NEVER* meant to imply there was no reason to have autistic
: children. (snip, snip)
: -------------------------------------------------------------------------
: d/dx [ Dirk Stanley ] = [ d...@westnet.com ]^2
: _________________________________________________________________________
Dear Dirk Stanley,
At the chance that I may offend someone, I will tell you that although
your first posting was very brief, I knew you did not mean to hurt
anyone. Soon after my now eight year old was dx ed, I gave my now fifteen
year old "Without Reason" by Charlie Hart to read. I really liked this
book. It helped me to feel less crazy. You can imagine my astonishment
when my older son said to me, well I'm never having children. That was
his conclusion when he read that book. It took me a little while to come
to terms with that, but from his point of view, it is a lot scary. My
younger son will never be posting on this list, or even reading it with
understanding. He can read some words, and say some words, but someone
will always need to take care of him. Some people with autism are very
much more disabled than others. It is almost a different condition
altogether. So although I would love to have a grandchild someday, I
cannot put that on Sam also. I already want him to keep tabs on his
brother. Hyanna
j.lade...@genie.geis.com
Your brother is one lucky guy. He has you. And we are here to be
supportive... Thanks for writing me..
Jennie LAdew-Duncan (Isaac's mom)