Hi Thomas,
Data is propagated for writes between nodes in two main ways:
1) Quorum writes. With the defaults of n=3 storage, single document PUTs are scattered by the coordinating node to the three nodes that are responsible for the particular shard file that document belongs to (based on a hash of the doc._id). When w=2 nodes succeed within a timeout limit, we return a 201 "OK". When only 1 node succeeds within the timeout limit we return a 202 "Accepted".
2) Anti entropy. There is a continuous background process that uses a non-http based form of shard-shard replication to ensure that shards remain consistent on disk, even if there was a failure or a timeout somewhere in the past. That is something that cannot be disabled and is an important part of the system.
In our operational experience, the network chatter is not a limiting factor up to at least 200 nodes in a single cluster. There are optimizations beyond that (not yet in bigcouch/couchdb2.0 master) to deal with optimization of intra-cluster network traffic.
-M