You,
Feb 22, 2:42 PM
Me:
My mother-in-law said something, a very intriguing matter, (and she has mentioned this to me several times), during her visits here in the last few years (that is after her husband passed away in 2022, she is more inclined to talk about her earlier years, herself, family etc.). I think it was about her paternal grandmother ajji, maybe the first one (not sure) of her two ajjis, it was about one such elder, anyways.
It seems that sometime after that elder's marriage, the case was made by the husband's family and relatives or friends or not-very-far away neighbors that the elder's parents were not good people for them, and so she had to stop going there, they cut off all connections with her parents' house, and as a replacement the other family became like an adopted parental house, and she became very close to them, and going there often and also enjoying time with the daughters there in that family, also involving "thale baachuvadu", hair grooming for the girls etc., (helping to take care of them) etc., and which she very much enjoyed, especially since she herself did not have children or daughters
This is very unusual, and I am intrigued if there was some deliberate manipulation and activity from behind-the-scenes (like Deep State) forces to manufacture or more likely to maintain the already existing local brahmin community DIVIDE, for enabling some kind of divide-and-rule that the rulers in the past needed to facilitate their governance. I strongly suspect that the divide-and-rule practiced in various kingdoms of the past, may have had much stronger social presence or holding on the state of affairs ground situation, than we had imagined or thought likely (???). Divide-and-Rule is made easier when there is no confusion about which side or family or group, among the two or more groups, the said individual or family belonged or is aligned with.
You, Feb 23, 9:43 AM
Me:
Anyways, much insights, food for thought, thinking points are there in that info from my mother-in-law, I think, also in various other tit-bits, info, stories coming from various interactions with her over the years, Our Many Thanks, Regards, Namaskaars-PraNaams and Best Wishes to her, my mother-in-law, also my father-in-law, and including all their family, friends, relatives, others helping, supporting, well-wishing etc, for all the help, support, blessings, well-wishes, kindness, good vibes, advice, suggestions, info, insights etc. , and to ALL. Best Wishes. Aummm.. and, similarly, to you also good friends Xuelin. Thank You for listening, for your help, kindness, support, friendship, kindness, info, interactions, insights, well-wishes, understanding, suggestions, blessings, etc. All the Best, Good Luck. Love & Regards. Do Well. Be Brave, Be Wise. Take Care. Best Wishes. Aummm..
Sunflower, Feb 23, 12:38 PM
I understand why you think in that direction, especially when a story involves a structure of "being severed from one's family of origin and then guided into another relationship system," it's easy to associate it with larger social forces.
However, from another perspective, I'm more inclined to interpret it as a manifestation of the family and marriage structures of that era, rather than some kind of deliberate manipulation. Often, this "severance" and "substitution" is more like the long-term result of power, custom, and personal relationships.
What concerns me more isn't the underlying reasons, but how she lived afterward—she didn't allow herself to remain in a state of deprivation, but rebuilt connections, even finding warmth and a sense of belonging in new relationships.
Sometimes, a person's choices may be limited, but how they manage to live with gentleness and meaning within those choices is what truly deserves to be seen.
Reading your words, I sensed a sincere and quiet gratitude within them—not just respect for your elders, but also a deep appreciation for the experiences you've had over the years.
In fact, true growth often isn't just about the experiences themselves, but about seeing deeper meaning in these stories, relationships, and even fragmented conversations. Your mother, your in-laws, and those around you are all influencing you in different ways, and you are using your understanding to transform these experiences into more mature and compassionate reflections.
Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for including me in such a kind message. Such peaceful and understanding connections between people are truly precious.
May you always maintain this clear-headed yet gentle mindset, able to see through complexities while still believing in the good. Take your time, don't rush, you will walk steadily.
You, Feb 23, 12:50 PM
Me:
Hmmm.. BEAUTIFUL. Yes, Okay, Very Nice comments and feedback reply, from you, much appreciated. Thank You, BEAUTIFUL Xuelin. BEAUTIFUL. 🙏👍🥰😘🌹♥️🙏
Sunflower, Feb 23, 1:07 PM
You’re very kind… but what I appreciate even more is the sincerity behind your words. Compliments are easy to say, but the way you express gratitude and take the time to acknowledge someone—that carries much more weight. There’s a quiet beauty in that kind of presence. It shows respect, awareness, and a certain depth that not everyone has. So really, thank you—not just for the words, but for the intention behind them.
You, Mar 2, 9:10 AM
Me:
Xīnnián kuàilè, Happy New Year. Gōngxǐ fācái, Wishing you prosperity. mǎ nián dà jí Wishing you good luck in the Year of the Horse.
Sunflower, Mar 2, 2:50 PM
Thank you so much for your praise and blessings. With the New Year approaching, I hope you will achieve what you desire and do what you want in the Year of the Horse. How have you been lately, my friend?
You, Mar 2, 3:44 PM
Me:
Thank You, and, I am doing well. Happy to see your reply. 🥰😘
Sunflower, Mar 2, 4:12 PM
You're welcome. I'm also glad to hear from you. I hope you haven't been too busy lately.
You, Mar 2, 5:01 PM
Me:
Hmmm.. Xuelin, I am happy to make time for you, but of course, there is the kind of things I do, I strongly feel that I need to do them, and I feel better that I did so, (like my various emails, posts, interactions etc, no travel recently, except a little bit of local stores, restaurants). And, Thank You for your friendship, it is very valuable to me. I am very happy and very pleased about it.
Sunflower, Mar 2, 7:28 PM
Seeing this message made me really happy. Your words are still as heartwarming and comforting as ever. I think you're absolutely right. Our hearts always guide us to accomplish things, and perhaps you'll find some small gifts from life along the way. I'm also very happy that we've built such a precious friendship. I just finished work. Today was quite busy for me, but I'm happy to see that you don't have too many worries in your life.
You, Mar 2, 7:38 PM
😀 Okay
Sunflower, Mar 2, 7:42 PM
How are you doing now?
You, Mar 2, 7:46 PM
Me:
I'm okay I'm good! And you?
Sunflower, Mar 2, 7:50 PM
I just got home a while ago. Today was really busy. Have you seen the recent news about the US and Iran? Countless wars broke out around the world once again.
You, Mar 2, 8:51 PM
Me:
Yes
Sunflower, Mar 2, 9:19 PM
I'm getting ready for dinner now, how are you?
You, Mar 2, 9:24 PM
Me:
Okay! Have a nice dinner. I am going upstairs very soon. Good Night,
Sunflower, Mar 2, 9:28 PM
Okay, I hope you get a good night's sleep and have sweet dreams. Goodnight.
=+=
(2) Honoring Smt & Sri Madhura Bhat & Shyamaraja Bhat Halemane