hey plastic nation,
you may have noticed that things haven't exactly been right for the past three weeks in the weekly email. that's because betsy has been living an alcohol and heroin laced nightmare ever since she decided to hop off the wagon at some titcomb's going away pink party (or was that a welcome back party? i don't remember. but i do remember sharing needles in black sun with a dartmouth grad that played frisbee once with zahlen in south america, so i'm sure he's clean.) if there were a few run on sentences and grammatical errors, cut a girl some slack. i'm back and i'm sober, and the weekly email is as good as new.
WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
Tuesday Aug 7, Practice, 7.30, Gu Lou.
on again, off again, the weather gods aren't too happy right now, and the next day that it doesn't rain is going to be the first one this month. by the time you read this, practice will be over, so unless you're sitting in a time machine, mark your calendars for next week.
Thursday Aug 9, Pick Up, 7-9, Gu Lou.
if you have been in beijing longer than two weeks, don't bother coming. it's like the british invasion of the sixties, but with haidian students. they don't play rock and roll but they do like to clog.
Sunday Aug 12, Summer League, Top Secret Location
Meet at DZM at 2:00, where you will be blind folded, loaded into a cargo vehicle, and driven to our fields. you will then be forced to find your way home using only your sense of smell and a hand written scroll map from the tang dynasty.
lunch time poll:
which of the following did NOT happen at sandy's party:
a) yin got a ride home from chip, and i don't mean on the back of his bicycle, if you know what i mean.
b) sandy walked into her bedroom and caught nick and doc making out on her bed. when she asked to join, they both refused, and asked her to leave.
c) appearing to be dangerously drunk, ryan started waving around a kitchen knife, only to be wrestled to the ground by peggy in an attempt to disarm him. laughs were shared all around when it turned out he was only slobbering drunk, and no danger to anyone but the english language.
d) the promised 6 am breakfast.
WEEKLY ITEM #2: Summer League Update
summer league continues and it won't stop until reid has played for all four of the teams. last week's results saw the last of the undefeateds go down to defeat. you know what that means: every one associated with beijing ultimate is officially a loser.
one more week before the playoffs start, so if you haven't started playing with a horizontal stack yet, you better do it this week. otherwise you will be hopelessly outmatched come the finals.
if any one has any questions or comments, you can contact tracie at
. email complaints directly to imaf...@gmail.com
now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.
a shout out to nick, who graciously agreed to stay in beijing for the next year so he could be cone boy.
a call out to barbie. she knows why.
a shout out to rickshaw and s.o.s. and not because i'm contractually obligated to shout them out. i really mean it. really.
a call out to chip and rob, who both declined to be the third wheel on sandy's xinjiang road trip, forcing her and her korean "friend" to go it alone for two weeks.
a shout out to jaime and jen, both of whom got their first points as members of beijing ultimate. congratulations. make sure to hold on to those frisbees. they'll probably be worth a lot of money some day.
a call out to zoe and greg for using the plan 5 trailer from outerspace as their own personal hollywood audition. okay, we get it. you guys were great zombies. but there were other people in shanghai, and they'd probably have appreciated some face time. and this isn't some kind of personal rant, because betsy was only in there for like three seconds in the background. this is about the group.
WEEKLY ITEM #3: MAILBAG
every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.
where's candice? i haven't seen her for a while. I miss her.
the kid that looks like george michael bluth
candice is back in the states. she went home to get some work done on her teeth. you can take a peek at what she'll look like when she gets back in september in the photo below.
every time i come home from frisbee, i have multiple scrapes and lesions all over my body. what can i do about that?
the new joe
i'd suspect that you had been "seeing" candice's mom, but she's back in the states with candice. so my only advice is to stop laying out gratuitously every time the disc goes up.
who would you choose? ryan or carey?
tough choice. i've slept with both of them, and found them both to be barely passable, although definitely a step up from zahlen. i'd say if you are going to be in a knife fight any time soon in a mexican bar, go with ryan. if you need help with your taxes, go with carey. otherwise, ditch them both, and go after one of the young college studs that's here for the summer.
WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: a drug induced coma means that you miss out on all of the great gossip. now that i'm mostly sober again, it turns out that there are so many rumors, betsy can't stick to just one.
first there's the mysterious disappearance of jenn brown. turn's out she's holed up in the country side, waiting to give birth to her venezualen love child. and that's not even mentioning all the plastic surgery work she's had done. look for the new and improved jb's return sometime in early 2008.
then there's this mystery tailbone injury that becca has been playing up. betsy has it on good authority that it's really a case of her recovering from a poorly done impulse tattoo of a princeton tiger. and let this serve as a reminder to everyone. never ever let candice give you a haircut OR a tattoo.
WEEKLY ITEM #4: Social Calender
august 11th, time tbd, harry potter 5 released in theaters. don't miss it.
some kind of tbj party that reid emailed the group about. sounds delightful. i'm sure nick will have a great time. by the way, this is me being sarcastic.
WEEKLY QUIZ: for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy provides a lyric, and it's your job to provide the song name and artist. as always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will receive a dinner and desert at julia's, courtesy of julia.
this weeks genre: the 80's
I know you're asking me to stay
Sayin' please, please, please, don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues
You mean every word you say
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to loverboy rules
Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
as for last week's question, the set contest, the only response came from doc. at just over five minutes, it hardly qualifies as an exceptional time, but he still wins by default. doc will receive a home video courtesy of barbie.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
this week, betsy received an email from one pat mccarthy updating us on what he's been up to. although the email is self aggrandizing and full of lies, i thought i would pass it along to everyone anyway:
Just a quick mass-shoutout to say hello, and to let you know that the McDorschels have arrived and are settling well in Montreal. Nonie and "the bump" are doing great - "the bump" is bigger and blocks my view of the television every once in a while, but it makes a great place to rest snacks and the remote control. We found a great doctor - and she'll be delivering at one of Montreal's best hospitals in mid-September.
Bruin is adapting to his new environment as well and already learning to blend in with the locals - see attached. (If you don't get the reference, find your nearest Canadian and ask).
For my part... I'm adapting to "office life" after too many years of working at home in my pj's. I originally thought 10 to 3 would be quite manageable. Imagine my surprise when they told me it was 9 to 5 ?!!!?
Our new coordinates are:
4065 Grey Avenue
CANADA H4A 3N9 (514) 656-8374
(Pat's cell)(514) 880-0196
Our welcome mat is always out, so long as you're tidy and don't stay long.
Pat, Nonie, "the bump" and Bruin
which brings us finally to your moment of zen:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTJWeqwcjg0
catch you on the field,