I think trying to stop a running job using beanstalk is going to be a hack no matter how you go at it. I see 2 paths here --
1 -- the job is in the queue and you want to stop it from ever starting -- this I would probably handle with some kind of state machine -- a simple table in a database for example. Pick up the job - as first step check this db table for any cancellation message - if it's there, delete the cancellation message (if applicable) and don't run the job.
2 -- The job has left the queue and is already running and you need to cancel it. This seems like you'd need some watchdog process to check for cancellation messages coming in and asking jobs to quit / rollback / etc.
Either way I don't think beanstalk is your tool here.