Ho, ho, etc., and let me welcome you back to reality after the hopefully satisfactory completion of your respective annual rituals. Personally, I consumed roughly my weight in chocolate and crashed like a hypothetical blowjob-powered motorbike, so now I'm ready to face the new year. And the best way to face the new year is arse-first, with eyes drunkenly half-focused on the year just past. Rather than going through my tissue-thin awards charade this year, I thought I'd just cut to the chase and give my top five and my bottom five of 2010 - almost like a real critic! You'll know when I switch from one to the other because during the top five I'll speak with breathless enthusiasm like I've cornered you at the buffet table at the most excruciating party of your life and then when I'm doing my bottom five, my voice will drop in pitch and become filled with disgust like my sandwich just farted in my mouth.
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