Good Places to Meet People?
Loren I. Petrich
I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
I'm asking that because I've been out of luck, and I hope that
some other of you people can help me out on that.
I'm looking for some good places to meet single women between
their 20's and their 40's (I'm an early-30's single male). I have some
constraints. I _despise_ football, and I'm indifferent to most other
sports; I am a strict teetotaler and nonsmoker (CH3CH2OH-consumers
are acceptable if they don't bug me about my teetotaling; smokers are
not).
I like to bicycle and I like going to interesting places. I
_love_ computers, especially Macintoshes. They're very good for
writing, artwork, and playing games on. My main TV-watching, outside
of the news, is Star Trek and Babylon 5. I like listening to
techno/disco-ish music, and I hope to make such music myself. I
confess I'd prefer an academic-type setting, such as near Berkeley,
because that's where I might find people most like me.
I don't want anything connected to religion, though I could
compromise on Unitarianism :-) Or maybe _some_ New-Age sort of stuff.
Transportation constraints? I am automotively challenged (a
"Politically Correct" term I invented for carlessness), so I am
limited to places not too far from a BART or Muni Metro station.
Berkeley would certainly be a good place (college towns are
probably my favorite type of environment), but I'm willing to consider
some San Francisco place also. Any good places elsewhere in the East
Bay? In the Walnut Creek -- Concord area? The Dublin -- Pleasanton
area? Livermore itself???
I won't be too eager about somewhere near Stanford until the
Muni Metro connection to CalTrain gets going next year; I can hang out
in or near Justin Herman Plaza and take the MM trolley to the next
CalTrain. And of course, I would take the MM from CalTrain to BART.
But I now have to either walk through some run-down area or wait for a
bus (well, it's a trolleybus) in some awkward spot to get there.
And I don't figure getting too excited about San Jose, for
that matter -- 45 minutes by bus from Fremont, though SJ does have a
nice trolley line.
As should be evident, I enjoy riding trains. I eagerly await
the extension of BART to the D/P area; that will cut out a lot of bus
distance I have to ride (I live in Livermore).
And last, but not least, I like Madonna.
Maybe there could be a FAQ file on the subject of good places
--
/Loren Petrich, the Master Blaster
/l...@s1.gov
/ Happiness is a fast Macintosh
/ And a fast train
Richard Bennett
>From: l...@s1.gov (Loren I. Petrich)
>Subject: Good Places to Meet People?
>Date: 27 Jun 1994 06:07:22 GMT
> I'm looking for some good places to meet single women between
>their 20's and their 40's (I'm an early-30's single male). I have some
>constraints.
A few tips/pointers:
1. Asya might be interested if you'd get a bit more vivid about your
"constraints." I can't attest to this from personal experience, but my spies
say she's "that kinda girl."
2. Older women are easier to please.
3. Check out the "Gala Singles Event / Private Club" posting. I think you'll
find it s(t)imulating.
4. Collect some jokes, stories, or a social conscience. All seem to go over
well here, as does a fondness for the law, bicycling, latex, and cattle.
5. Don't be so f*cking obvious. They want you to act like you just like to
socialize, not like you're horny as a toad. I don't quite understand the
rationale for this, I guess it has something to do with the general American
fear of pleasure, but pays to be cool. Go see a coupla James Dean movies and
cop an attitude.
6. Most of the "sensitive male" positions are already taken by guys named
Bob. Still a few openings for over-educated macho studs, however.
Welcome aboard.
RB
--
"Casey Jones, you better watch your speed..." Dead
Bob Becker - The World's Leading Authority
>
>6. Most of the "sensitive male" positions are already taken by guys named
>Bob. Still a few openings for over-educated macho studs, however.
Hey! They are not. All the new-age, sensitive guys are name Dave.
Bobs like to stack their chicks like cordwood in the back seat
of the car, take them out for burgers and beer, have our way with
them, drive to a remote location, belch, laugh, kick them out,
and then go back for more.
>
Steve
>
>
> I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
>
> I'm asking that because I've been out of luck, and I hope that
> some other of you people can help me out on that.
>
> I'm looking for some good places to meet single women between
> their 20's and their 40's (I'm an early-30's single male). I have some
> constraints. I _despise_ football, and I'm indifferent to most other
> sports; I am a strict teetotaler and nonsmoker
> --
> /Loren Petrich, the Master Blaster
Try rec.bingo
Steve-
Gary Allman
>
>2. Older women are easier to please.
>
This does not necessarily apply to an individual woman. e.g, my ex-wife was
more difficult to please as she got older.
Asya
> I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
48 lines of a cleveerly disguised personal ad deleted.
> Maybe there could be a FAQ file on the subject of good places
I have a FAA for that one: post in alt.personals and ask the women
who respond where they hang out.
Though now that I think abbout it... I think I have a friend who might
bbe just the woman you're looking for... email me for details...
--
Asya Kamsky I need another drink
Santa Cruz, CA to blow on the glass so I know I'm alive
Karl....@syntex.com
> I'm looking for some good places to meet single women between
> their 20's and their 40's (I'm an early-30's single male).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have a strange hobby: I like to read the personal ads. One thing I notice is
that people will state "mid-thirties" or "early forties", etc.
My question: Why not just say "I'm 35" or "I'm 42" and be done with it? What is
the advantage of saying something vague like "mid-thirties", etc.?
Dave Berg
Bob Becker - The World's Leading Authority <b...@netcom.com> wrote:
>In article <Richard.3...@Bennett.com> Ric...@Bennett.com (Richard Bennett) writes:
>>
>>6. Most of the "sensitive male" positions are already taken by guys named
>>Bob. Still a few openings for over-educated macho studs, however.
>
>Hey! They are not. All the new-age, sensitive guys are name Dave.
He's right, ya know.
>
>Bobs like to stack their chicks like cordwood in the back seat
>of the car, take them out for burgers and beer, have our way with
>them, drive to a remote location, belch, laugh, kick them out,
>and then go back for more.
Damn. Wonder if I can change my name to Bob...
No parking EXCEPT FOR BOB
Hey!
Now you've done it.
Now, even _Daves_ can use that one!
Give away any more Bob secrets and you'll regret it...
Bob O`Bob
--
Bob Becker - The World's Leading Authority
>Bob Becker - The World's Leading Authority <b...@netcom.com> wrote:
>'now serving number 253' sign behind Chilis on Friday. Way to party
>But, if the burgers and beers were for *everyone* and you were buying,
Me buy????? hahahahahahahahaa No, no... I don't want the chicks
to feel pressured so I let them buy the food before we do the
nasty. I'm a sensitive 90's kinda guy, ya know?
Ken Wallich
So that was *you* with the maul and chipper, and that cool electronic
'now serving number 253' sign behind Chilis on Friday. Way to party
Bob!
But, if the burgers and beers were for *everyone* and you were buying,
then I think you still qualify for the Mr. Toxic sensitive date
reciprecation award.
--
Ken Wallich - k...@wallich.com | k...@al.org
"It's a shame that whole families are torn apart by something as simple as
wild dogs."
Ciccio
> I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
I dunno. Did you observe before you posted?
>Bay? In the Walnut Creek -- Concord area? The Dublin -- Pleasanton
>area? Livermore itself???
Talk about not observing! Hello! Anybody Home? Hmmmm let's think really
hard, now, where can you find a babe, in Livermore, who wears a propeller hat
like you do? Come on, atta boy...strain that brain....you can do it. OK,
I'll give you a hint...look at your Header [that's the area on the top part
of your post].
You Idiot! Just look outside. Believe me, I dated a few, you would get along
just fine. Hmmmm. Something is going on here. I can't believe you overlooked
the obvious.
Maybe you don't want to date somebody who also works at LLNL. OK, so ask
about some of their friends. You know, birds [yep, even cuckoos] flock together.
Or maybe, you do have your eye on somebody at LLNL...You sly rascal, you.
I get it. You post on here, and then she sees it and says: "Oh my, look, Loren
is lonely." Then she puts on her best pocket protector and then bumps into
you <wink> <wink>.
OK, I guess because this *personal* ad of yours was really just a romantic
ruse, I'm not gonna flame you. But now that the truth is out, I bet there's a
whole lot of disappointed lurking women who were yearning to take that
bus ride to paradise with you.
Ciao!
Ciccio
Dave Berg
>
>
>> I'm looking for some good places to meet single women between
>> their 20's and their 40's (I'm an early-30's single male).
>I have a strange hobby: I like to read the personal ads. One thing I notice is
>that people will state "mid-thirties" or "early forties", etc.
>
>My question: Why not just say "I'm 35" or "I'm 42" and be done with it? What is
>the advantage of saying something vague like "mid-thirties", etc.?
Dunno, but what are those funny ^M things at the ends of some of the lines
in your post?
John Fereira
>l...@s1.gov (Loren I. Petrich) writes:
>
>
>> I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
>
>I dunno. Did you observe before you posted?
>
>>Bay? In the Walnut Creek -- Concord area? The Dublin -- Pleasanton
>>area? Livermore itself???
>
>Talk about not observing! Hello! Anybody Home? Hmmmm let's think really
>hard, now, where can you find a babe, in Livermore, who wears a propeller hat
>like you do?
Well, it's not going to be in places like "The Rodeo", or "Palimoni's", or
"Buckhorn", or even the "Livermore Saloon". They were a different kind
of hat in those places.
In Pleasanton, try "Sunshine Saloon". It's a real young crowd but it
can really gets hopping. I can often be found throwing darts at "Popi
Lounge" . They get a good mixed crowd and have live music Thursdays
through Saturdays.
In Danville, try Jimmy's. It also has mostly a young crowd but I've
had a good time there as well.
John
Ciccio
>In Pleasanton, try "Sunshine Saloon". It's a real young crowd but it
>can really gets hopping. I can often be found throwing darts at "Popi
>Lounge" . They get a good mixed crowd and have live music Thursdays
>through Saturdays.
Oh yea, he likes women who don't drink or smoke. I'm sure he'll find lots
of them in those places... Geez, maybe he should try the Union Jack Pub
too :-)
Ciao!
Ciccio
Ciccio
>48 lines of a cleveerly disguised personal ad deleted.
>> Maybe there could be a FAQ file on the subject of good places
>I have a FAA for that one: post in alt.personals and ask the women
>who respond where they hang out.
>Though now that I think abbout it... I think I have a friend who might
>bbe just the woman you're looking for... email me for details...
5 lines of cleverly disguised "I wanna meet you". :-)
Ciao!
Ciccio
Ron Drake
>
> I'm asking that because I've been out of luck, and I hope that
> some other of you people can help me out on that.
Well, Loren...your post violates the law against personal ads,
but you didn't put in any specific requirements about what kind
of car the woman you're seeking should drive or how well-endowed
she should be in the chestal area, so I'll assume you're "A Nice
Guy"ª and give you the dubious benefit of my advice.
Find a place near you. A place easy for you to get to. A place
with plenty of room. Maybe a nice outdoor patio. Alcoholic bev-
erages aren't a must but you may want a beer after meeting some
of the people you're going to meet. Up to you. Pick a night.
Post an announcement saying that you're going to be in the ap-
pointed place at the appointed time. Show up with a good book
or other diversion in case no one shows. Put up a sign that
reads BOINK. Wait for the fun to start. Repeat.
Now, I grant you that you may either find yourself alone or
surrounded by the biggest collection of geeks this side of
Mt. Diablo. But geeks have friends.
The operative word in all this is "fun." Getting together
with a bunch of people and honestly having a good time is
the most attractive thing you can do.
Of course, your mileage may vary...
John Fereira
smoking establishment. A monthly newsletter called the "Nooner" called it
a yuppie frat party atmosphere. If he doesn't like it he can always come
down a few doors to Popi lounge where I just took a couple of people for
decent cash playing darts.
John
Hugh Bonney
: I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
: I'm asking that because I've been out of luck, and I hope that
: some other of you people can help me out on that.
Two jobs ago I began to wonder why most people I saw around me
were stuck in a perpetually adolescent personal life and so on.
So I quietly took a poll in the large department where I worked.
The divorce rate among Caucasian and African Americans was about
70%. No such woman under 40 had more than one child, probably because
it would be foolish under such unstable circumstances. The last
place I worked was almost that bad. There were never any single
people over 30 who were not Caucasian or African American
anywhere which is why I mention such categories at all.
Most people in the area with somewhat stable family lives are
immigrants, although that stability is often at the expense of
the wives. Another problem is that meeting people here means
meeting people whose history is invisible and the odds are not
very good, unfortunately. Some ways out of these difficulties
don't work very well, I notice. You really can't blame yourself
or being "out of luck" after a point. After all, why should you
feel that you can beat the statistics? Why should who you are
make any difference when it doesn't seem to for most others?
If you want your 'luck' to improve, the best scheme is to leave
the area entirely. And I don't mean go to Los Angeles :-) .
Hugh ----------------------
Cregg Lund
>
> Two jobs ago I began to wonder why most people I saw around me
> were stuck in a perpetually adolescent personal life and so on.
Yup. We're the lucky ones.
> If you want your 'luck' to improve, the best scheme is to leave
> the area entirely. And I don't mean go to Los Angeles :-) .
Having trouble getting laid Hugh?
Lobster King
Richard Bennett
: >
OK Bob, while I could challenge this on "authenticity" since it makes no
mention of scratching and farting, I'll amend the ba.singles job
descriptions:
"The "sensitive male" positions are taken by guys named Dave, and there
was only one to start with.
"BOBs" occupy a loftier plane in the ba.singles spectrum, as studs
in training who amuse themselves with Viking fantasies, which are all
fine and shit, as long as none of MY DAUGHTERS are involved.
"Finally, the ultimate aspiration of any ba.singles male is to
successfully pass himself off as an over-educated macho stud desired by
all the most desirable women, but rationing out his favors judiciously so
as not the ruin the babes completely for the lesser males who will
doubtless become their love-slaves when the OEMSs are done with them."
_Guide to Bay Area Dating in the Late 20th Century_,
Purina
--
Ric...@Bennett.com 408/446-4725
Network Strategies Cupertino, CA
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"The first law of education should be this: 'Feed only the hungry.'"
- Fred
Ayse Sercan
>Bobs like to stack their chicks like cordwood in the back seat
>of the car, take them out for burgers and beer, have our way with
>them, drive to a remote location, belch, laugh, kick them out,
>and then go back for more.
You actually take them out for burgers and beer?
--
Ayse Sercan ay...@netcom.com
"Every purchase is a victory."
Bob Becker - The World's Leading Authority
>>Bobs like to stack their chicks like cordwood in the back seat
>>of the car, take them out for burgers and beer, have our way with
>>them, drive to a remote location, belch, laugh, kick them out,
Yes, but they have to buy.
Hugh Bonney
: In article hbo...@netcom.com (Hugh Bonney) wrote:
: > Loren I. Petrich (l...@s1.gov) wrote:
: > : I hope that this is an OK subject in this newsgroup :-)
: > : I'm asking that because I've been out of luck, and I hope that
: > : some other of you people can help me out on that.
: > : (an ad, more or less..)
: > The divorce rate among Caucasian and African Americans was about (70%)
: ...
: > (no single) people over 30 who were not Caucasian or African American
: > anywhere which is why I mention such categories at all.
: folks, not to mention that despite your caveat, race has nothing to do with
: what you're talking about.
Indeed, race is irrelevant; culture is what I'm getting at. The 'folks
left out' are almost never single over about age 30 was the point. I
wasn't leaving them out at all :-) .
: > Most people in the area with somewhat stable family lives are
: > immigrants, although that stability is often at the expense of
: ...
: Oh, so if you're not Caucasian or African American, then you're immigrant?
: Sounds like pretty faulty logic there, Hugh.
Sorry if I have been misunderstood. In Silicon Valley the majority
of, say, people of Asian descent are immigrants by far. I'm entirely
aware that there are, say, people in California whose ancestors were
from China many generations ago. To the degree that a family has
assimilated, they usually share the usual disintegration. I don't feel
the need to be PC in all directions to make this point as it's a
commonplace observation. Local educators often observe in interviews
that after a couple of generations in California the public school
students tend to converge to the same lower level of performance.
Most areas in the US have the same effect.
: > If you want your 'luck' to improve, the best scheme is to leave
: > the area entirely. And I don't mean go to Los Angeles :-) .
: Hmmm. Well, what are you doing here, then?
Professionally, Silicon Valley is still one of the best places to be.
The breadth and depth of the job market in computing is unmatched
anywhere. It's in a very nice setting and you don't have to do 100
yards in 10 seconds to survive. In fact, most people are quite pleasant
in everyday behavior here and it's fun meeting smart people from nearly
everywhere. I like the openness to the future; the orientation across
the Pacific and traveling there; I like a lot of things about it. But
it clearly has its price. I'm not saying that there is some simple
paradise just over yonder, pack your car...
: Here's the deal. I've known lots of people who have blown out of this area
: because there "aren't enough women." They think if they move somewhere
: else, women will fall at their feet. So now the guys in Denver or somesuch
: place and next thing you know, they're saying "jeeze how do you meet women
: here?" Hmmm.
Is this from another thread?
: I don't think it matters where you live. It matters what kind of person you
: are.
: Go out. Do stuff. Be yourself. The right person will (someday) show up, and
It surely matters what sort of person you are *and* what environment
you're in. The best Olympic swimmer can't swim up a waterfall. Certainly
"Go out. Do stuff. Be yourself.", it's a more interesting life and it's
not unheard-of to meet people. But we can't let too many years go by,
though, without notice. If our values don't work, then which ones do?
: if you don't get real stupid, you'll realize it and hang on for the ride.
Is the rodeo imagery here accidental :-) ??
Hugh ------
Dave Berg
Dave Berg
Hugh Bonney <hbo...@netcom.com> wrote:
> Some time ago I followed a family through the Carlsbad Caverns
> tour. The parents and the three kids each wore a tee shirt that
> said "How can we lose when we're so sincere?". What do you think?
Keep up with the Joneses. Learn to lie like a rogue.
Raymond E. Rogers
your own BBS! He did and he has :-)
Ray
Cregg Lund
> statistics;
Bah. I think I'm doing better. I know others who are doing better.
> a relationship requires more than one person, remember?
Of course I remember. I happen to know it takes three people and
at least two of them have to be female.
> Some time ago I followed a family through the Carlsbad Caverns
> tour.
You pervert.
> The parents and the three kids each wore a tee shirt that
> said "How can we lose when we're so sincere?". What do you think?
I think Dad was a cheapscape who went for the "5 tees for $15" special
and took whatever was left.
Lobster King
Bob R. Kenyon
wrote:
> Bob R. Kenyon (r...@rahul.net) wrote:
> : In article hbo...@netcom.com (Hugh Bonney) wrote:
>
> Sorry if I have been misunderstood. In Silicon Valley the majority
> of, say, people of Asian descent are immigrants by far. I'm entirely
> aware that there are, say, people in California whose ancestors were
> from China many generations ago. To the degree that a family has
> assimilated, they usually share the usual disintegration. I don't feel
> the need to be PC in all directions to make this point as it's a
> commonplace observation. Local educators often observe in interviews
> that after a couple of generations in California the public school
> students tend to converge to the same lower level of performance.
> Most areas in the US have the same effect.
So we're not talking about race at all. We're talking about the failure of
parents to do something besides watch TV while their kids are growing up.
This I agree on.
I'm not quibbling about your lack of PCness. I don't care about PC either.
I care more about the fact that sweeping generalizations don't tell you
anything but what the average is. Say, "All the people *I* know have crappy
family lives." You see, I can find families that have been in this country
for over 300 years (mine) and, while they may not be "perfect" in some
ideal, Ozzie and Harriet way, are at least producing productive members of
society. You can also find families of criminals in those boats of people
coming over from China.
There. I've proved you wrong, twice. I even went to public school!
> : Hmmm. Well, what are you doing here, then?
>
> Professionally, Silicon Valley is still one of the best places to be.
> The breadth and depth of the job market in computing is unmatched
> anywhere. It's in a very nice setting and you don't have to do 100
> yards in 10 seconds to survive. In fact, most people are quite pleasant
> in everyday behavior here and it's fun meeting smart people from nearly
> everywhere. I like the openness to the future; the orientation across
> the Pacific and traveling there; I like a lot of things about it. But
> it clearly has its price. I'm not saying that there is some simple
> paradise just over yonder, pack your car...
You're right there. That's why I'm staying. Just think. There's probably
bright professional smart people around here you could meet, and maybe
date!
> : Here's the deal. I've known lots of people who have blown out of this area
> : because there "aren't enough women." They think if they move somewhere
> : else, women will fall at their feet. So now the guys in Denver or somesuch
> : place and next thing you know, they're saying "jeeze how do you meet women
> : here?" Hmmm.
>
> Is this from another thread?
Nah, real life.
> : I don't think it matters where you live. It matters what kind of person you
> : are.
> : Go out. Do stuff. Be yourself. The right person will (someday) show up, and
>
> It surely matters what sort of person you are *and* what environment
> you're in. The best Olympic swimmer can't swim up a waterfall. Certainly
> "Go out. Do stuff. Be yourself.", it's a more interesting life and it's
> not unheard-of to meet people. But we can't let too many years go by,
> though, without notice. If our values don't work, then which ones do?
Hey, I didn't say it was easy! But you can't tell me that there aren't
hundreds or thousands of people out there, doing things you like to do, and
wondering if they, too, will someday meet someone...just like you! The
problem begins when you stay inside your house, thinking about how you're
never going to meet anyone. That's when you get depressed and think you
should leave. Then you're just setting yourself up for failure.
If you like jazz, go to a jazz festival. If you like to drink, go to a bar.
If you bike, do organized bike rides. If you have friends, they have
friends, and their friends have friends. We're in a huge community here,
and sooner or later, you'll run into someone. Sounds lame, but it really is
the best way.
> : if you don't get real stupid, you'll realize it and hang on for the ride.
>
> Is the rodeo imagery here accidental :-) ??
Yeah, I guess it was.
Bob
--
Bob Kenyon, Mac Fanatic | "It's incredible, it's historical,
Beautiful Downtown San Jose, CA | it's very cool."
r...@rahul.net | --Alexi Lalas, US Soccer Team
| on beating Colombia 2-1
Hugh Bonney
: I care more about the fact that sweeping generalizations don't tell you
: anything but what the average is. Say, "All the people *I* know have crappy
: family lives." You see, I can find families that have been in this country
: for over 300 years (mine) and, while they may not be "perfect" in some
: ideal, Ozzie and Harriet way, are at least producing productive members of
: society. You can also find families of criminals in those boats of people
: coming over from China.
: There. I've proved you wrong, twice. I even went to public school!
If I were that simple-minded, I couldn't have found the computer
power switch today. Indeed, most everywhere are found saints and
crooks. That won't exactly make the evening news. The family my
name came from has been in Massachusetts for about 285 years. So
what? The P.R.China is beginning a process that will likely lead
to more social disintegration than the US has ever had, and their
system of government is far less adapted to chaos than that of the
US. And there are interesting variants on concepts like "conflict
of interest" there. So?
All I said was that the odds for certain people in the Valley are
especially bad. Further, why meet someone who is just part of the
problem too? That is hardly an excuse to do nothing. It's a reason
to start thinking.
: ..... That's why I'm staying. Just think. There's probably
: bright professional smart people around here you could meet, and maybe
: date!
Of course; so?
: Hey, I didn't say it was easy! But you can't tell me that there aren't
: hundreds or thousands of people out there, doing things you like to do, and
: wondering if they, too, will someday meet someone...just like you! The
: problem begins when you stay inside your house, thinking about how you're
: never going to meet anyone. That's when you get depressed and think you
: should leave. Then you're just setting yourself up for failure.
Of course; so?
: If you like jazz, go to a jazz festival. If you like to drink, go to a bar.
: If you bike, do organized bike rides. If you have friends, they have
: friends, and their friends have friends. We're in a huge community here,
: and sooner or later, you'll run into someone. Sounds lame, but it really is
: the best way.
Of course, up till you say "community". That we haven't got much of,
and that's probably part of the problem.
Hugh
Asya
> especially bad. Further, why meet someone who is just part of the
> problem too? That is hardly an excuse to do nothing. It's a reason
> to start thinking.
You haven't proved it. I, for one, don't believe that there is a group
of people for whom it's especially bad, unless you define the group as
"People who think they'll never meet anyone" -- self-fullfilling prophecies
are wonderous things.
>: friends, and their friends have friends. We're in a huge community here,
>: and sooner or later, you'll run into someone. Sounds lame, but it really is
>: the best way.
> Of course, up till you say "community". That we haven't got much of,
> and that's probably part of the problem.
You have the community that you choose. If you've chosen to be part
of no community, that's no one else's fault. I have found several
communities in the Bay Area that I have been happy to draw friends
from.
"Put your big toe in the milk of human kindness
have you ever seen the like of this mankind?"
--
Asya Kamsky Safe from fears, safe from harm
Santa Cruz, CA
Hugh Bonney
: In article <hbonneyC...@netcom.com>,
: Hugh Bonney <hbo...@netcom.com> wrote:
: > All I said was that the odds for certain people in the Valley are
: > especially bad. Further, why meet someone who is just part of the
: > problem too? That is hardly an excuse to do nothing. It's a reason
: > to start thinking.
: You haven't proved it. I, for one, don't believe that there is a group
: of people for whom it's especially bad, unless you define the group as
: are wondrous things.
I mentioned going through a couple of large departments at two
employers and finding a ~70% divorce rate and no women under 40
with more than one child. I hope this is exceptionally bad even
for Silicon Valley, but it certainly is food for thought. I also
notice that these same people are most often bringing up kiddies
who spend more time on emotional problems than homework problems.
Luckily California still attracts people from around the world.
Meeting people isn't the problem. I realize that not being relent-
lessly positive is somehow un-California, but I'm not advocating
doing nothing. I just can't see acting like a fly trying to get out
a slightly opened window by flying again and again and again against
the glass...
: >: friends, and their friends have friends. We're in a huge community here,
: >: and sooner or later, you'll run into someone. Sounds lame, but it really is
: >: the best way.
You're right - that's why we get auto insurance..
: > Of course, up till you say "community". That we haven't got much of,
: > and that's probably part of the problem.
: You have the community that you choose. If you've chosen to be part
: of no community, that's no one else's fault. I have found several
: communities in the Bay Area that I have been happy to draw friends from.
Community is a reciprocal relation. It's not easy to be a member of
several except in a small way. Community usually means some shared
values, exchange of services, participation and contribution to, say,
schools or other organized activities, some feeling of identifying with
the group, and so on.
: Asya Kamsky Safe from fears, safe from harm
It's not intended here to make anyone feel unsafe.
Asya
Hugh Bonney <hbo...@netcom.com> wrote:
> I mentioned going through a couple of large departments at two
> employers and finding a ~70% divorce rate and no women under 40
> with more than one child. I hope this is exceptionally bad even
> for Silicon Valley, but it certainly is food for thought. I also
Maybe we just have different views on what that proves. To me that
proves absolutely nothing. I certainly under no circumstances will
buy "more kids == happier life" being an only child and knowing
many couples who chose to have one offspring.
Divorce rates are also somewhat non-indicative of anything more than
the fact that people change and it's acceptable these days to change
your life drastically to go with those changes.
> notice that these same people are most often bringing up kiddies
> who spend more time on emotional problems than homework problems.
The previous generation had more emotional problems than homework
problems also, but they weren't suppsed to spend time on them. I
don't think that's a good thing.
> Community is a reciprocal relation. It's not easy to be a member of
> several except in a small way.
Well, that may be true for you, but it's not true for many of us.
Maybe what you have to offer this community that doesn't recipocate
itsn't appropriate, and you need to find another community?
> Community usually means some shared
> values, exchange of services, participation and contribution to, say,
> schools or other organized activities, some feeling of identifying with
> the group, and so on.
Yeah, so, what's your point? I have found many communities that
satisfy those points... they are here, and the hazing rituals to get
into them for the most part aren't that bad.
"when everybody loves you
you can never be lonely..."
--
Asya Kamsky Safe from fears, safe from harm
Santa Cruz, CA
Hugh Bonney
: Maybe we just have different views on what that proves. To me that
: proves absolutely nothing. I certainly under no circumstances will
: buy "more kids == happier life" being an only child and knowing
: many couples who chose to have one offspring.
can't manage to achieve the replacement rate in births overall,
evolution will do its usual work. Each person will have to decide
if that means anything or not to them when made personal. Surely
there are very happy one-kid families around here. I even hope they
stay that way more than 6 months.
: Divorce rates are also somewhat non-indicative of anything more than
: the fact that people change and it's acceptable these days to change
: your life drastically to go with those changes.
People make changes (though character is pretty constant), but
when they make so many so fast so often it's usually a sign of
something wrong. Like being egoistic, unstable, etc., etc. The
high divorce rate also seriously affects cultural transmission
between generations, too, as well as making shrinks rich. If UCB
admissions were strictly based on apparent academic qualifications
(as they should be), the group we're talking about would hardly be
there at all.
: The previous generation had more emotional problems than homework
: problems also, but they weren't suppsed to spend time on them. I
: don't think that's a good thing.
I think the rate has gotten worse, but you may be right. I'm just
complaining that if people can't make a living, emotional problems
will seem a luxury to them. The world can be extremely harsh,
especially to people with no extended family structure to fall back
on, little education, no skills, and middle-class expectations.
: > Community is a reciprocal relation. It's not easy to be a member of
: > several except in a small way. (H.B.)
: Well, that may be true for you, but it's not true for many of us.
OK, you may be talented or something - being a real member of several
communities takes a commitment of time I haven't got. I'm glad to
know some people feel they can do it.
: "when everybody loves you, you can never be lonely..."
If a person thought that *everybody* loved them, salespersons for
penny stocks and Florida swampland would ring the phone off the
person's wall :-) . How about somebody, or some happy few? Would
someone say that everyone loved them without meaning that no one
in particular did? (Sorry if I don't understand this.)
Hugh ---------
Gary Allman
> Who said more kids = happier life? I'm saying that if a culture
> can't manage to achieve the replacement rate in births overall,
> evolution will do its usual work.
There is nothing more selfish than having children. It is something done only
because one choses to do so. Enjoyment, old-age security, ego trip of
replicating oneself, teaching, molding. A wonderful thing, but certainly not
a service to mankind.
If the population of the world dropped by 75%, markets would still be large
enough to drive competition and innovation, improving our 'standard of
living'. The world has way too many people. 'Achieving the replacement rate'
at the present population level is an obviously undesirable activity.
That mankind has more choice than other species will mean that some groups
will continue to breed at an excessive rate and thus will become more populous
than others. This doesn't provide sufficient cause for me to want to get into
a breeding contest.
--
Gary
gal...@netcom.com
408 926-0812