Monday Night Cafe-Racing Review
mo...@nonetspcomam.com
As I parked the Helix-hack in front of Coffee Society I noted that I was
the first to arrive. But it was early yet, and the evening had just begun.
Over the next half-hour riders slowly trickled in. Matt on his 900RR,
Scrubbo on a nice RT, Creech on the Buell... his girlfriend fresh from
finishing the MSF course in tow, astride her Nighthawk. Even the green
of Steve's triumph was visible in the growing pack of fine two-wheeled
machinery on display in front of the cafe.
"Small group." I think to myself, "Gonna be a tame night..."
Just then my ever-keen hearing detected the sound of a high-reving
poorly tuned in-line four approaching on Stevens Creek. All heads swiveled
East as Keith, the Squidly's stunt rider lofted his ZX-6 into an
impressive wheelie in a display of showmanship and skill. And then for
some reason he decided to feed in more throttle. There was a hush over
the crowd as the front and rear axles of Keith's Ninja lined up perfectly
vertical in relation to the unforgiving asphalt. The massive Givi
topbox skated mere inches off the deck as Keith's legs dangled
helplessly in the air. Somehow, maybe with much prayer, and Biaggi-like
luck Keith maintained control and got the front end back down.
A cheer erupted from the crowd... "Maybe tonight will OK after all."
I muttered.
A coffee shop was randomly pulled from the hat and Derek took point on
his VFR leading our horde into the fray of SF Bay Area traffic. Being
bored with riding the Helix-hack the standard method I opted to climb
into the sidecar and take advantage of the fact that I recently put the
throttle and brake back on the proper side. While this was the utmost
pinnacle of poserhood I did get many startled looks from cagers who
I can only assume thought the pilot had fallen off and that I would soon
be meeting my maker. My mind could not even begin to formulate what I
would say to the cop if I got pulled over.
Having safely arrived at our destination with no casualties we proceeded
to overwhelm the cafe staff with our sudden influx. Creech of The Mighty
Bowels on the otherhand overwelmed the plumbing rendering yet another coffee
shop bathroom inoperable. After several minutes of waiting for an
expected mystery-guest to arrive the masses grew restless. I attempted
to entertain the fray by jumping on the Helix-hack and taking a crack at
burning some extremely small donuts. This started a chain reaction and
before I knew it there where bikes doing wheelies and stoppies in all
directions. How someone did not end up dead I do not know. I can't
be sure, but I swear I even saw the wheel of an RT up in the air out of
the corner of my eye. It was deemed then that we should draw another
coffee shop from the hat before The Man arrived to issue wood shampoos.
So off we went...
Arriving at Moulin Rouge Coffee Roasting, the entire group proceeded to
do several laps around the conveniently located roundabout next to
the coffee shop. Not to be outdone I threw the Helix-hack into the
roundabout and proceded to gain momentum until I had a pretty good
three-wheel drift going. Reaching escape velocity I then exited the
roundabout straight at the group, locking the rear and pitching the
Helix-hack sideways in an Akira-like slide that I was later told
"Would have been a really really impressive highside".
The rest of the night was pretty textbook. More coffee shops, many
wheelies, Keith did a burnout in front of one of San Jose's finest
And Greg annoyed a bunch of undercover cops on a sting operation.
The night ended at TGI-Friday's with food and one last round of bench
racing. A good time was had by all...
Not feeling like enough hoolganisim had been propagated that evening
Matt, Justin, and I proceeded to talk Keith into riding his ZX-6 down
the flight of stairs in front of TGI-Friday's. Keith not content with
simply riding down a flight of stairs proceeded to drop the clutch from
about 40 feet back and rocket off the top step. All I remember is
seeing a ZX-6 w/luggage sailing through the air three feet off the
ground. Keith landed a good six feet past the bottom step in the
TGI-Friday's parking lot in a shower of sparks and a suspension
crunching thud that undid any work Jim Lindemann had put into that
ZX-6. Amazingly he remained upright, and it only cost him his
steering-head bearings and broken Givi bag mounts. Later he was heard
to comment "I could have went faster, I had more than enough room to
stop."
And with that my droogies, another Monday night of Cafe-Racing had
drawn to a close.
-Mike-
--
-Mike- DoD 5010 - AFM 803 - http://www.squidlys.com
99 ways to phone in a pizza order:
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
TIN65JUN
them..Keep them coming
thanks.Phil
zx600
Dan Bornman
>God I love those monday night reviews.I am always looking forward to
>them..Keep them coming
I've been wanting to make the trek o'er the bridge and down the penisula for a
bit now...but truth be told, I just don't think my poser level would be up to
snuff after reading these reviews! Maybe I need to go practice wheelies in
some parking lot somewhere... 8)
--
Dan Bornman
'99 SV650 (Blue!)
Creech
witness the Stupid Squid Tricks.
- Creech, who FEARS Keith getting his CBR-XXX.
Steve Melander
>
> Well, what an interesting night...
>
> As I parked the Helix-hack in front of Coffee Society I noted that I was
> the first to arrive. But it was early yet, and the evening had just begun.
>
> Over the next half-hour riders slowly trickled in. Matt on his 900RR,
> Scrubbo on a nice RT, Creech on the Buell... his girlfriend fresh from
> finishing the MSF course in tow, astride her Nighthawk. Even the green
> machinery on display in front of the cafe.
>
and then randomly pulled again... and then randomly
pulled again... When are you going to get rid of the
"Starbucks" cards? They always get hooted down anyway.
> and Derek took point on
> his VFR leading our horde into the fray of SF Bay Area traffic. Being
> bored with riding the Helix-hack the standard method I opted to climb
> into the sidecar and take advantage of the fact that I recently put the
> throttle and brake back on the proper side. While this was the utmost
> pinnacle of poserhood I did get many startled looks from cagers who
> I can only assume thought the pilot had fallen off and that I would soon
> be meeting my maker. My mind could not even begin to formulate what I
> would say to the cop if I got pulled over.
Don't forget the guy in small white sedan. He must
have thought he was about to be gang-raped by a biker
gang, because he refused to roll down his window so I
could tell him his gas cap was sitting on the trunk lid
of his car. Then he almost took out Keith while trying
to pull to the right, presumably having figured it out.
> Having safely arrived at our destination with no casualties we proceeded
> to overwhelm the cafe staff with our sudden influx. Creech of The Mighty
> Bowels on the otherhand overwelmed the plumbing rendering yet another coffee
> shop bathroom inoperable. After several minutes of waiting for an
> expected mystery-guest to arrive the masses grew restless.
Did we ever hear from the mystery guest, with an
explanation of the mystery of his non-appearance?
> I attempted
> to entertain the fray by jumping on the Helix-hack and taking a crack at
> burning some extremely small donuts.
Stupid Mike tricks.
> This started a chain reaction and
> before I knew it there where bikes doing wheelies and stoppies in all
> directions.
Stupid Steve tricks. Although I still can't manage a
stoppie on the Triumph. Just not enough weight to throw
forward I guess.
> How someone did not end up dead I do not know. I can't
> be sure, but I swear I even saw the wheel of an RT up in the air out of
> the corner of my eye.
Nah. We all know shafties can't wheelie.
> It was deemed then that we should draw another
> coffee shop from the hat before The Man arrived to issue wood shampoos.
> So off we went...
It worked, it worked!
> Arriving at Moulin Rouge Coffee Roasting, the entire group proceeded to
> do several laps around the conveniently located roundabout next to
> the coffee shop. Not to be outdone I threw the Helix-hack into the
> roundabout and proceded to gain momentum until I had a pretty good
> three-wheel drift going. Reaching escape velocity I then exited the
> roundabout straight at the group, locking the rear and pitching the
> Helix-hack sideways in an Akira-like slide that I was later told
> "Would have been a really really impressive highside".
You forgot to mention the cop trying to sneak up on us
just then, as I was in the act of putting on my helmet
to go practice wheelies on a borrowed bike. Alas,
another opportunity never presented itself that night.
Maybe next week...
> The rest of the night was pretty textbook. More coffee shops, many
> wheelies, Keith did a burnout in front of one of San Jose's finest
> And Greg annoyed a bunch of undercover cops on a sting operation.
> The night ended at TGI-Friday's with food and one last round of bench
> racing. A good time was had by all...
Wasn't it Matt who did the burnout?
> Not feeling like enough hoolganisim had been propagated that evening
> Matt, Justin, and I proceeded to talk Keith into riding his ZX-6 down
> the flight of stairs in front of TGI-Friday's. Keith not content with
> simply riding down a flight of stairs proceeded to drop the clutch from
> about 40 feet back and rocket off the top step. All I remember is
> seeing a ZX-6 w/luggage sailing through the air three feet off the
> ground. Keith landed a good six feet past the bottom step in the
> TGI-Friday's parking lot in a shower of sparks and a suspension
> crunching thud that undid any work Jim Lindemann had put into that
> ZX-6. Amazingly he remained upright, and it only cost him his
> steering-head bearings and broken Givi bag mounts. Later he was heard
> to comment "I could have went faster, I had more than enough room to
> stop."
And you let me go home before this? Sheesh.
Steve 65
pablo
Dan Bornman wrote:
>
> ... Maybe I need to go practice wheelies in
> some parking lot somewhere... 8)
>
> --
> Dan Bornman
> '99 SV650 (Blue!)
You seem to own a perfect tool for it. I, for one, prefer not to try to
keep up these days, as I have disgraced myself in the past by
overcooking wheelies or low-siding a bike in a parking lot in front of a
large audience and the like before, which of course forces you to move
to another country to escape your friends' constant reminders and the
utter loss of face... and I tend to like the Bay Area too much... :-)
...pablo
PS: The roundabout sounds cool, though. There aren't many of those in
the US, and they are perfect for knee-down practise. I recall in the UK,
those multi-lane, sometimes utterly solitary roundabouts were a dream
come true for a biker (unless he owns a HD). You see even guys on mopeds
doing knee-down antics...
PS2: An I am *not* the Pablo that allegedly, in front of an equally
large audience, brought an early high-light to a track day in '96
producing a spectacular high-side in turn 3 or 4 in Laguna Seca. It
seems to be a well-known crash, as I have been asked that about 4 times
by people.
Jimil Borillo
I missed the last one and I'm kicking myself for it. I would have loved
to see Keith jumping the stairs...
But, since no one bothered to post what happened last last Monday, I'll
write a small snippet of what happened at one of the coffee shops.
i don't have all the details but it was fun listening to the exchange.
It seems that this particular coffee shop is a hangout for a bunch of
teenagers. We all pull up and a bunch of guys come out to see the
bikes. One of them decides that he's the $h!t and proceeds to brag
about his sportbiking prowess and how he could take any of us on his ol
FZR 1000. Well Moike asks him if he wants to race. Punk kid says that
he doesn't have his bike anymore, or it wasn't there, or its in the
shop, something. Moike suggests that they race for "pinks", where the
stupid little (he was little) $h!t says that he doesn't race for "pinks"
but just to prove who is the better rider. Creech then steps in and
tells him that he doesn't race and that he's pretty much full of $h!t.
Punk says that the only bike he likes out of the whole shebang was the
R1. Moike offers to race using his weakest bike and the punk can use
whatever bike he wants. Again, he refuses. Then Moike offers to race
using his weakest bike, plus a passenger. Again, he refuses. I guess
is all comes down to him talking so much smack that we were all
wondering what he was smoking. When asked if he rides in T-shirts and
shorts, he says, yup. Whatta loser/idiot/punk. Just trying to show off
in front of his friends.
Well it was fun watching it. I'm sure the rest of the guys have their
versions a bit more detailed but that's the bulk of it.
See ya next Monday!
Jimil Borillo
99 YZF 600R
Gregory Dorso
On Wed, 29 Sep 1999, Jimil Borillo wrote:
> When asked if he rides in T-shirts and
> shorts, he says, yup. Whatta loser/idiot/punk. Just trying to show off
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> in front of his friends.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Isn't this the exact topic of the monday night Cafe Racing meeting? :-)
You could swear he was part of the club, huh? ;-)
-- Greg
SmallSilly
>to see Keith jumping the stairs...
>
Me to. I was all set to show up Monday. Then........DISASTER of a 400 dollar
nature. I walk out to my bike after work to see the slip on hanging at an
awful funny angle. Then had the pleasure of holding it up with my foot while
riding it all the way to the shop. Will try again next Monday. Right now I am
stuck on the BART. YUK!!! Haven't owned a car in years and the gixx is all I
got for gettin' me around.
Julz
AFM #659
89 GSXR 750
88 EX250 Baby Ninja
http://hometown.aol.com/smallsilly/BigRedRocket.html
mo...@nonetspcomam.com
: nature. I walk out to my bike after work to see the slip on hanging at an
: awful funny angle. Then had the pleasure of holding it up with my foot while
Julz, your slip-on is showing...
SmallSilly
>: awful funny angle. Then had the pleasure of holding it up with my foot
>while
>
>Julz, your slip-on is showing...
>
You really know how to make a girl laugh her butt off!!!
mo...@nonetspcomam.com
(snip)
: Isn't this the exact topic of the monday night Cafe Racing meeting? :-)
: You could swear he was part of the club, huh? ;-)
Generally one must at least -own- a motorcycle before one can begin
posing. To loudly proclaim "Man, I could smoke anyone here..."
and then backpedal and stammer when told "Ok, go get your bike"
Will get one laughed at. What posessed this proto-squid to even
walk up to a group of very large and unshaven bikers and start popping
off is beyond me.
If I had been thinking on my feet I would have asked him to prove
his mettle by asking him two simple questions;
"Can a shaft-drive bike wheelie?"
"Why don't Harley riders wave?"
-Mike-
--
-Mike- DoD 5010 - AFM 803 - http://www.squidlys.com
99 ways to phone in a pizza order:
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak.
When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream
goodbye at the top of your lungs.
Gregory Dorso
On 30 Sep 1999 mo...@NOnetSPcomAM.com wrote:
> Gregory Dorso <do...@smartbear.org> wrote:
> (snip)
> : Isn't this the exact topic of the monday night Cafe Racing meeting? :-)
>
> : You could swear he was part of the club, huh? ;-)
>
> Generally one must at least -own- a motorcycle before one can begin
> posing. To loudly proclaim "Man, I could smoke anyone here..."
> and then backpedal and stammer when told "Ok, go get your bike"
> Will get one laughed at. What posessed this proto-squid to even
> walk up to a group of very large and unshaven bikers and start popping
> off is beyond me.
>
> If I had been thinking on my feet I would have asked him to prove
> his mettle by asking him two simple questions;
>
> "Can a shaft-drive bike wheelie?"
>
> "Why don't Harley riders wave?"
How about:
"What brakes better, a cruiser or a sportbike?"
"Why don't cyclists stop at stop signs?"
and last but not least
"Why will Moj always use Mobil-1?"
-- Greg
Moj
>
> How about:
> "What brakes better, a cruiser or a sportbike?"
> "Why don't cyclists stop at stop signs?"
>
> and last but not least
> "Why will Moj always use Mobil-1?"
Oi! You Bastard! I'll have you know someone (and a very nice bloke at
Redline Oils) converted me to Redline, so now I have 4 litres of Redline
fully synthetic in me motor and I'm not too proud to admit it! Of
course, I ran it in for 3500 miles first, like a good boy, and it's
sweet as a nut so far.
Most of the other TL owners I know use Mobil-1 car oil. Apparently, this
is a TL owners list recommended thing. Hmmmmm...
Perhaps you should ask "Why is Greg so obsessed with Moj's choice of
"lubricant"?"[1]
I have to come to one of these bashes one Monday - sounds like the laugh
of the week!
[1] Is there something you want to get off your chest luvie? ;0)
[2] DYF
--
X X
~~~~ X X X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moj X X TL1000R "Bulldozer" No Fear? No Hair! Be of Good Heart
~~~~~~ X X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
X http://www.awac.com/moj/
Scrubbo
mo...@NOnetSPcomAM.com wrote in message
<7sur4n$l...@dfw-ixnews17.ix.netcom.com>...
>Gregory Dorso <do...@smartbear.org> wrote:
>(snip)
>: Isn't this the exact topic of the monday night Cafe Racing meeting? :-)
>
>: You could swear he was part of the club, huh? ;-)
>
>Generally one must at least -own- a motorcycle before one can begin
>posing. To loudly proclaim "Man, I could smoke anyone here..."
>and then backpedal and stammer when told "Ok, go get your bike"
>Will get one laughed at. What posessed this proto-squid to even
>walk up to a group of very large and unshaven bikers and start popping
>off is beyond me.
Man, I could smoke EVERYBODY on those rides given enough disk locks and an
inattentive group........
Also, I would like to say that I am TRAGICALLY bereved to have missed Monty
Keith's Flying Circus. Man. Just when ya think the squiding is over......
>"Can a shaft-drive bike wheelie?"
All right, what the HELL is up with that question, anyway. I always hear
people saying that shaft-drives can't wheelie or stoppie, and it's always a
joke except for one yahoo who believes it. Where did this thing originate?
Who is responsible for it?
>"Why don't Harley riders wave?"
Sunglasses to dark. Can't actually see out of em, so they don't know you're
there.
Scrubbo DoD #6000
99 Honda VT750CDLX
99 BMW R1100RT
Scrubbo
Steve Melander wrote in message <37F25C37...@ispchannel.com>...
>mo...@NOnetSPcomAM.com wrote:
>> A coffee shop was randomly pulled from the hat
>
>pulled again... When are you going to get rid of the
>"Starbucks" cards? They always get hooted down anyway.
That seems to be pretty standard practice.
>> How someone did not end up dead I do not know. I can't
>> be sure, but I swear I even saw the wheel of an RT up in the air out of
>> the corner of my eye.
>
> Nah. We all know shafties can't wheelie.
At least not well. But that might be pilot error.
>> All I remember is
>> seeing a ZX-6 w/luggage sailing through the air three feet off the
>> ground. Keith landed a good six feet past the bottom step in the
>> TGI-Friday's parking lot in a shower of sparks and a suspension
>> crunching thud that undid any work Jim Lindemann had put into that
>> ZX-6. Amazingly he remained upright, and it only cost him his
>> steering-head bearings and broken Givi bag mounts. Later he was heard
>> to comment "I could have went faster, I had more than enough room to
>> stop."
>
> And you let me go home before this? Sheesh.
I'm actually as green as your bike with envy.
Keith, you are the wind beneith my wings.
Dan Bornman
>>"Can a shaft-drive bike wheelie?"
>
>All right, what the HELL is up with that question, anyway. I always hear
>people saying that shaft-drives can't wheelie or stoppie, and it's always a
>joke except for one yahoo who believes it. Where did this thing originate?
>Who is responsible for it?
They can wheelie just as good as they can countersteer! ;)
I believe it's ancient rec.moto lore...they've been trying to sell that bait
over there as long as I can remember (5 years).
>>"Why don't Harley riders wave?"
>
>Sunglasses to dark. Can't actually see out of em, so they don't know you're
>there.
Nonono, it's the vibrations that make them unable to see you.
Seric
> >> seeing a ZX-6 w/luggage sailing through the air three feet off the
> >> ground. Keith landed a good six feet past the bottom step in the
> >> TGI-Friday's parking lot in a shower of sparks and a suspension
> >> crunching thud that undid any work Jim Lindemann had put into that
> >> ZX-6. Amazingly he remained upright, and it only cost him his
> >> steering-head bearings and broken Givi bag mounts. Later he was heard
> >> to comment "I could have went faster, I had more than enough room to
> >> stop."
> >
>
> I'm actually as green as your bike with envy.
>
> Keith, you are the wind beneith my wings.
It looks like another showing is in order, I don't know if the stars
will remain in alignment but I'm willing to give it another shot. Maybe
throw in a new twist... The official Squidly's "Sacrificial Video
Camera" is currently being charged.
--
Keith (S)eric Maynard -DoD#2043- Kotm (Se...@Seric.com)
http://www.squidlys.com
http://www.seric.com