A WORD FOR TODAY, February 24, 2025

[Peggy Hoppes]

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Blessings. Peg

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A WORD FOR TODAY, February 24, 2025

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil. Cling to that which is good. In love of the brothers be tenderly affectionate to one another; in honor prefer one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, enduring in troubles, continuing steadfastly in prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, and given to hospitality.” Romans 12:9-13, WEB

My mom had a friend, in a roundabout way she was sort of a relative, that my mom could call on the spur of the moment to go out and have a piece of pie. They would sit in the restaurant for hours, talking about their lives, complaining about their husbands, sharing their hopes and dreams. She was a very good friend to my mom, and my mom was a good friend to her. When this woman was having marital difficulty, my mom was there to give her support, to comfort her and to give her advice. This is a special kind of friendship that not everyone is blessed to have.

A news report several years ago stated that the number of people who had someone with whom they could confide was about seventy-five percent. This might seem like a good number, but it means that twenty-five percent did not have anyone. Even fewer people have someone they could call a best friend. We may have family for support, there’s something about having listening ears that are apart from our greatest stresses that help us through tough times. I have known this kind of loneliness; my childhood best friend lives far away and a woman I considered my best friend died a few years ago. Thankfully, I have regular lunch dates with a few others. Are they the kind of friends like my mom's? I don't know, I hope so because that kind of relationship is so important. 

A more recent study concluded, “People can be surrounded by others and still feel deeply lonely. The lack of quality relationships is just as big a problem as the lack of quantity.”

Studies since the pandemic have shown that loneliness is epidemic in the United States. Today’s loneliness is perhaps deeper because we have become so attached and dependent on technology, and though we spend time “with” people, we do so online, which is not enough. Many companies have opted to allow remote workers, which is convenient and cheap, but it has removed an important part of our life together. While hugs might not be appropriate in a work setting, there’s something about a handshake. We look different on the screen. It is flat and cold, and though we might laugh together, it is hard to experience the warmth and connection of being in the same room.

Loneliness is a major health concern. Loneliness may be the surface manifestation of troubling feelings like anxiety, depression and a lack of meaning and purpose. Without people on whom we can rely, we begin to think that we are not important. This isn’t just because we do not have someone to help us, but also because we do not have anyone that we can help. It might seem like we should be past the effects of the pandemic, but people are still afraid. They are more reliant on social media and get caught up in unhealthy conversations. They’ve put aside the activities they used to enjoy, more likely to stay home.

Teachers will tell you that this is affecting our children. When we closed schools to protect their health, we knew it would take some time for the students to catch up with the educational expectations for their age, but teachers are finding that after five years, it is still very difficult to teach in the classroom. Children can’t focus without a screen. They get more screentime now, which has increased the risk of anxiety, depression, and aggression. They have fewer social skills and increased behavior problems.

Experts suggest that months or years of virtual learning have caused absenteeism to double. Online learning caused students and parents to be apathetic about school. Too many thought attendance online was optional, and that has carried over into in-school attendance. This is not only true in public schools but has been a problem in private schools. Another problem teachers describe is that students have lost the ability or desire to use pen and paper for their work. This might not seem important, but the tactile use of materials and equipment is better for learning. An article I read sums up the problem, “Issues like screen addiction, permissiveness, absenteeism, and over-reliance on digital learning are the lasting effects of the pandemic. Until we address these, we can’t begin to make the crucial changes that will make classrooms manageable and learning possible again.”

We may not think that any of this is related to loneliness, but these issues are affection the connections we have when we work, learn, play, eat, live together in the world. We’ve lost the strong community that we once had, like my mom had with her friend. We’ve lost the strong relationships that come when people are able to spend time with others, wherever our life takes us. We have lost the art of building the quality relationships we need to be the best we can be. Hopefully those of you who regularly read these devotions have a strong community of faith, but I am sure even those relationships are lacking. The church is a microcosm of the world, same problems with the hope that we have the solution.

The answer, of course, is Jesus. I wonder what life was like for Jesus. He had a close circle of friends, but they often did not understand what He was trying to say. Jesus was never alone, but I wonder how often He was lonely in the crowd. His friends could not really identify with Him. The people looked to Him for their support and courage, but did He have anyone to whom He could find support and courage? Perhaps He didn’t have a human friend with whom He could confide, but He did have that kind of relationship with God, His Father.

Righteousness is about having a right relationship. It is about trusting and having faith that tomorrow is secure. Righteousness in our homes means having a right relationship with our spouses and children. Righteousness in our neighborhoods means having a right relationship with our neighbors. Righteousness in our cities and states and country and the world means having a right relationship with the people who live with us there. We are righteous when we do what is right so as to build a relationship rather than destroy. The Hebrew understanding of righteousness is, “upright, just, straight, innocent, true, and sincere. It is best understood as the product of upright, moral action in accordance with some form of divine plan.” The divine plan always takes us toward stronger relationships with one another, toward community.

The study quoted above also found, “Encouragingly, the solution people endorsed most, including lonely adults, is available to almost all of us: ‘taking time each day to reach out to a friend or family member.’” Now is the time to get out of ourselves. Be the person in whom your friend can confide. Join a group that shares an interest. Volunteer somewhere you can make a connection with another person. Be open to that one person who might be your best friend, who will answer at the spur of the moment to go have a piece of pie. The study suggests that “Helping others is often the best remedy for helping ourselves.” Reach out to someone today. Listen to them. Shake their hand. Hug them. Breathe the same air. If we are going to follow Jesus, we need to be like Him, first having a right relationship with our God. Then the rest will fall into place. We can be the friend our neighbor needs and we’ll find that there are people who can be the friend we need, too, so we won’t be so lonely.  

 

 

 

A WORD FOR TODAY is posted five days a week – Monday through Friday. The devotional on Wednesday takes a look at the scripture from the Revised Common Lectionary for the upcoming Sunday.  A WORD FOR TODAY is posted on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Word-for-Today-Devotional/339428839418276. Like the page to receive the devotion through Facebook. For information and to access our archives, visit http://www.awordfortoday.org