AVENues Issue #13
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Carolyn Lamb
Apr 26, 2008, 3:11:31 PM4/26/08
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AVENues Issue #13 - Saturday, April 26, 2008 (text version posted to the AVENues Google group / RSS April 26, 2008)
The full PDF version of this newsletter can be found here: http://www.asexuality.org/avenues/2008_04_26.pdf
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Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation.
AVEN: The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, an online community and resource archive striving to create open and honest discussion about asexuality among asexual and sexual people alike.
AVENues: A bimonthly publication available online, created by members of the AVEN community in order to showcase our thoughts and promote discussion by and about asexuals.
For more information, visit http://www.asexuality.org.
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Contents:
1. Why I'm a Sex-Positive Asexual
2. Letter from the Editor
3. News from the Spring
4. Sex-_____: A Plea for Strategic Apathy
5. From the forum
6. Asexuality Among Sexualities
7. Featured AVENite: "Xaida"
8. Inside AVEN: Purple Bananas
9. Poem: "Untitled"
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Why I'm a Sex-Positive Asexual
by VITTORIA
Sex is great. Fan-bloody-tastic. Not only is it fun, it's good for you. Burns calories, reduces stress, lowers risk of heart attack, prostate cancer and endometriosis, reaffirms the emotional bond between partners. If people spent more time blowing each other they'd have less time to blow each other up – "Make Love, Not War" and all that. I love sex. More people should have it (safely). I don't feel compelled to jump in the pile, but that doesn't mean I don't think anyone else who wants to shouldn't. There are much worse things people could be doing with their bodies.
Yes, I'm one of those sex-positive asexuals, which some take to mean an asexual who has sex, but I'm at a loss to find a better phrase for being asexual but endorsing sex as healthy and natural. Some asexuals think every single thing to do with the act is gross, gross, gross and want to hear, see or think about none of it. Those people make me feel lucky that I find sex interesting, intellectually at least, because hating sex while living in the modern world would be rather like disdaining oxygen. It's everywhere, so either find something about it interesting or resign yourself to being a lifelong grump monkey.
I've been interested in sex since I was a pre-teen. As a teenager, I realised that although I found sex fascinating, the physical act didn't interest me. That discovery didn't dampen my intellectual interest, however; it made sex even more interesting because it seemed such a driving force for so many people, even though it wrecks lives and can have disastrous consequences. Anything with that kind of power is inherently fascinating, as are the ever-shifting social mores and taboos surrounding it.
Then there are those who protest, "But surely, if you enjoy thinking about it so much you must really want to do it!" To that I say that I'm also fascinated by serial killers—it doesn't mean I'm planning a spree. I find many things I'm not personally interested in utterly captivating. Their very popularity is what mystifies and compels me. Certain celebrities (whose massive popularity despite their lack of talent or intelligence) fall into the same category.
Having no vested interest in sex can give a person a less prejudiced view of the mattress rodeo. From a purely anthropological view sex is grossly inaccurately portrayed by the media, abstinence-only education is an excellent way to support the tide of unwanted pregnancy and STDs, and people aren't doing nearly as many kinky things as frequently as you might think.
Something I love about being a sex-positive asexual is the responses I recieve from sexual people. People never expect you to have seen a porno or know what bukkake is, let alone where the G-spot is located or that the real person in control in a dominant-submissive scene is the submissive partner. There is a special kind of joy in being able to talk unflappably about things that turn even your most liberal friends a lovely puce. They want to know why I'm such a pervo and I say that sex is like a restaurant—sexual people find the things they like and stay with that part of the menu, but asexuals (of the sex-positive variety) wander by the buffet and check everything out because it's all odd to us. Sure, some things are at the farther end of the "wowwee" spectrum, but for the most part it's all baffling. We're not thinking of ourselves in those situations so it's more academic and less personal. Sex-positive asexuals can be a sex-positive sexual's best allies.
And, of course, we don't mind listening to people bitch about how annoying sex is, either.
This article was previously posted to www.apositive.org. It has been reprinted with permission from the author.
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Letter From the Editor
The question of how asexuals should think about sex is one that constantly plagues asexual communities. Rant about sex too angrily, and we risk alienating sexuals. Worse, we risk giving the impression that our asexuality is the result of antisexual beliefs rather than a natural orientation. But if we appear too enthusiastic about sex, or even too accepting of sexual behavior, we get the opposite problem: people may assume that our enthusiasm or acceptance stems from sexual attraction, and conclude that asexuality isn't real. What's a poor asexual to do?
Last issue, we announced the formation of a new asexual Web site, apositive.org, specifically for discussion among sex-positive asexuals with a strong grounding in the theory of sexology. This issue, with the debate about sex-positivity raging just as strongly as ever, we've devoted space to three different perspectives: one from a sex-positive writer, one from a writer who wishes we could just forget about sex altogether, and one from a writer who suspects that we need many different attitudes towards sex.
We hope that there will be something for every point of view in this issue, but if you've got something to add, why not write to us? We're always looking for letters at newsl...@asexuality.org.
- Hallucigenia, AVENues Editor-in-Chief
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News from the Spring
We've elected two new moderators (AntiBubble and Lehcar) to the AVEN forums, as well as a new administrator (Tanwen) and a tech administrator (Coleslaw). We have also lost Winter as a beloved old administrator.
Xaida, our Featured AVENite this issue, represented AVEN at the Congress of the European Federation of Sexology in Rome, Italy and is organizing an information booth for the Christopher Street Day Parade in Berlin, Germany. She has created her own brochures for both events. The brochures, a bit larger and more comprehensive than AVEN's official pamphlets, have been approved by AVEN's Project Team and are now available for anyone else who wants to distribute them.
Other AVENites notable for their visibility efforts this issue are Lehcar in Halifax and xSTELLA at the University of Western Ontario, both of whom gave well-recieved lectures on asexuality and have posted their slides for future use by others.
For those of you looking for mentions of asexuality in the media, new this issue are the Edmonton Journal in Canada, thelondonpaper in the UK, Ask Lynn on MSN Dating, a radio station in New York City, and the blog Queers United. More people in the media are looking to discuss asexuality in their work, including theSite.org in the UK, a newspaper in Denmark, a TV journalism graduate student in London, a writing and media student in Chicago, a discourse analysis student in Birmingham, and a student filmmaker in New York.
In the meantime, you might want to check out the new asexual blog Ace of Hearts:
http://www.frogthis.com/ace-of-hearts/
Asexy Beast, another asexual blog, has been nominated for the Best of Blogs Awards in the LGBT, sex, and pop culture categories. And don't forget the National Day of Silence on April 25 to support those who have been silenced because of their sexual orientation.
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Sex-_____: A Plea for Strategic Apathy
by BIRDNERD
There are a number of adjectives I feel somewhat comfortable using to describe myself, or at least to which I'm somewhat resigned. "Sex-positive" doesn't make the list, or if it does, it's probably a few slots down from "not over-fond of mayonnaise."
I have lurked for several months now at apositive.org, a site which I applaud for its deliberate theoretical rigor and its effort to marshal a wider variety of perspectives on asexuality. But I just can't stand up proudly as one of these "sex-positive asexuals" they keep talking about.
And it's not that I'm "sex-negative." I do find the idea of sex thoroughly unpleasant and can't foresee ever wanting to try it for any reason, but otherwise it's the same as most things: not really good or bad in and of itself, but something that can be used in better and worse ways. Under the correct circumstances, I fully believe that it can be a healthy, beautiful, all-around good thing for other people (although I probably take a narrower view of "the correct circumstances" than most who apply the "sex-positive" label without hesitation). But I'd rather not see it, hear about it, or otherwise have other people bother me about it. I'm sort of a non-militant repulsed asexual – certainly not antisexual, but when two characters start getting it on in a novel or a movie, you can bet I'm turning the page or taking a few minutes to balance my checkbook.
Perhaps some term like "sex-neutral" would be more acccurate, but what I find objectionable then is the demand to be sex-anything in the first place. As it's not something I'm the least bit interested in having anything to do with, having to take a position for it, against it, or someplace in between strikes me as disingenuous, or at least as an obstacle to living as asexily as I'd like.
I have the same difficulty with the antisexual perspective that I do with the sex-positive perspective – they both get too hung up on sex, albeit in opposite directions. And changing the binary opposition to a continuum in order to seek a middle ground isn't any help, either, because no matter what gray area between the two extremes one might occupy, one would still be stuck replying to the question "So what do you think about sex?"
A better framework would be one that allowed one to reply "Nothing at all," instead of giving it a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down or a thumbs-sideways or a thumbs-tilted-in-some-direction with different thumbs for oneself and for other people. A better framework still would be one where we chucked the sex question altogether and just talked about something else. Ideally, one wouldn't need to put sex on the radar at all, pro or con or anywhere in between.
While this probably sounds like some sort of neo-antisexuality, I don't think it's the sort of thing that anyone could or should enforce – to do so would be self-defeating, because we'd fall right back into the "Sex is ______" trap. I'll go out on a limb and call it "strategic apathy," although the very act of naming it places it in relation to sex again, so, predictably, there isn't a way of discussing the issue at all that isn't at least somewhat self-deconstructive.
I'm at a loss to describe a way to get from here to there, and to work out the practical implications, probably because "there" is a sort of asexual utopia (indeed, a utopia in its literal sense of "no place"). What I'm envisioning, imperfectly (and what I think we could only execute imperfectly), is a way of being in the world where the sex question doesn't come up, or comes up only peripherally. We'd live and love and read and write and sing and film and view and whatever else you please as though there were other fish to fry (and there are). For a lot of our friends, one of those fish is distinctly sexual in nature, but if we take greater care to supply ourselves with alternatives, it will no longer matter whether we're sex-positive, sex-negative, or anything in between.
This article was adapted by the author from one of her forum posts on apositive.org.
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From the Forum
A selection of posts from the discussion boards on the AVEN Web site
Perhaps it is just because I am a borderline asexual – I do have occasional urges, albeit rarely – but I'm not even all that put off with the idea of having sex myself. I am more than happy to interact with my boyfriend on that level, because even though I don't feel driven to do it the way he does, I know it makes him happy, and it doesn't bother me to do it for him. I think, actually, that understanding my asexuality allowed me to be sexual with him, because I was no longer waiting for when I was "in the mood," and was able to offer him gratification for the pure and simple fact that I love him that much, and he makes me that comfortable. It is, to me, just another way to show him how much I love him, just as he shows me he loves me in ways that he knows matter to me.
- PrairieGhost, Tuesday March 25, "Anyone else here actually don't mind sex?" in Asexual Q&A
I don't think making an analogy between asexuality and deafness is insulting to asexuals, because I don't think deafness makes a person inferior, just different. In fact, once you consider the spectrum of the ability to sense sound - from hypersensitive, through the normal range, to hard of hearing and completely deaf, I think the analogy works well on many levels.
Sex for sexuals then maps to music for the hearing - there are all kinds: classical, jazz, country and thrash, and in each genre there's great, good, bland, serious, fun, weird and awful. And because most of the world is hearing, popular culture is just awash with music. People are always discussing their musical tastes, and it gets gratuitously added to films even when that does nothing to advance the plot. :)
- Olivier, Saturday April 12, "missing 'adequate stimulus' or sexual orientation?" in Asexual Musings and Rantings
Eight years and we're still going strong. We do have our up's and down's, but doesn't any relationship? I think what is making it work for us, is that I'm AS and he is Bi (even leaning more to the gay side lately) We are total soul-mates, happy, and very much in love with each other. Cuddles are endless, occassional kissing (pecks mostly) and we share everything. There is no sex what-so-ever. I even get nervous when it's skin on skin. But he is so accepting and loving. I feel very lucky. He says he does too.
What I find interesting, is that he says sometimes that he wishes he could be more like me. He also, would like to feel the peacefullness and serenity asexuality can bring to a person. To not have the struggles and desires for sex is very uplifting and free's ones mind, body and soul for other things. He would very much like to have that also. On the other hand, I wish sometimes I could be like him and share the desire to be in that special way with your partner. So mostly our struggles come from the inability to totally fulfill the other's needs ourselves.
We both know that no matter what, we will grow old together. We need each other in so many ways and sex has nothing to do with it. We are two puzzle pieces that fit together with glue and complete the big picture.
Thank you for a place to be able to share this.
- starcat, Tuesday March 4, "Who has been in a SUCCESSFUL 'mixed' relationship?" in For Sexual Partners, Friends, and Allies
I completely agree with the point that being united IS worth a great deal, in practical terms as well as less-tangible ones.
As a straight asexual woman, I have to tell you that I feel no less "queer" than one of my Loved Ones, who happens to be a homosexual male. Let's face it, guys: the vast majority of the population sees asexuals as flawed, deficient, and wrong. That's just the way it is.
That ignorant viewpoint IS changing, due to the courage and hard work of many selfless queer people. If asexuality is ever to be understood and accepted, then we need to be just as courageous!
I, for one, am proud to call myself Queer.
- rain_2_fog, Wednesday April 2, "Asexual Activism/Queer Rights" in Announcements
AVEN posts belong to their respective authors and do not necessarily express the official views of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
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Asexuality Among Sexualities
by A.C. HINDERLITER
Over the last several months, many on AVEN have complained about an increased negativity toward sex among some on the site. There is talk of "true asexuals." People are told that they aren't "real" asexuals. There are complaints about how gross sex is, how annoying sexual people are, and sometimes even of how sex and love are mutually exclusive.
In some sense, this is understandable. If asexuals base their views of sexuality only on personal experience or on others using sexuality to make them feel excluded, unimportant, repressed, or simply unable to enjoy the most amazing thing in the whole world, it's not hard to see how negative views toward sexuality can sometimes arise. Viewed this way, it can be easy to see all the harmful and destructive ways sexuality can be and is used and to overlook the many positive and healthy ways sexuality can be expressed.
In response to this, many have emphasized that even though sex may not be an important part of our lives, that doesn't mean it isn't an important part of others'. Even if sex is not a significant part of how we think about love and affection, that doesn't mean it isn't a significant part of how others think about certain expressions of love and affection. Recently, a new asexual Web site, apositive.org, was founded to be a sex-positive asexuality forum (or at least sex double negative). The Web site has two goals: 1) to show that asexuality does not imply antisexuality and 2) to carry out conversations on asexuality beyond "Asexuality 101."
Despite my being a member of a "sex-positive" asexual site and having views on human sexuality not too unlike those of other members of that site, I would not call myself sex-positive. My reason is similar to issues many have with terms like "pro-choice" and "pro-life:" these terms categorize opponents as being either anti-choice or anti-life. I don't want to be opposed to freedom or life, and I certainly don't want to be pro-death. On a subject so difficult that reasonable people can disagree about it, such polarizing terms do not help us to understand those we disagree with.
If I call myself sex-positive does that mean that I'm condemning everyone who disagrees with my politics of sexuality as "sex-negative?" I've heard the term "sex-positive" described as meaning that sex is good and to be valued, that sexuality is an important part of people's personalities, that we should not deny that we are sexual beings. My problem with this is that most of the people I've heard telling me to save sex for marriage—defined as being between one man and one woman—would be sex-positive by that definition. They often argue that saving sex for marriage will result in a better sex-life and a better marriage. God made sex, they say, and God made sex to be enjoyed, but only in the context of marriage between a man and a woman. Premarital sex cheapens sex; it spreads disease and makes unwanted pregnancies, and, most importantly, it's not what God—who made us and loves us—wants for us. They say we shouldn't have premarital sex, not because sex is bad, but because sex is good. However, if there's anyone that the term "sex-positive" is supposed to exclude, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be proponents of abstinence-only sex education and those who insist sex is only acceptable in heterosexual marriage.
Nevertheless, even though I have problems with the term "sex-positive," I think it's important that there are sex-positive asexuals. But I also think it's important that there are non-sex-positive asexuals (as long as they don't think that sex is inherently evil). The reason is that there are a variety of sources of opposition that asexuals can run up against and these can come from different parts of the population. The way that sex-positive asexuals explain asexuality is helpful for gaining acceptance in certain parts of the population, but probably pretty ineffective in other parts of the population.
At present, there are three main sources of opposition to acceptance of asexuality: 1) familial duty, 2) social conformity, 3) sexualnormativity.
1) Familial duty. Getting married and having children is your duty to your family and your community. What? You're asexual? Don't say such nonsense. I'm sure you'll grow out of it.
2.) Social conformity. You need to go to high school, study hard so you can get into a good college, graduate and somewhere in there find that special someone so you can get married and have children. Daddy goes to work. He's the breadwinner and the head of the house. Mommy stays at home, takes care of the kids and becomes a soccer mom, driving the little ones around the winding pathways of Suburbia in her gas-guzzling SUV. That's what everyone does, so that's what you should do too. What do you mean you're asexual? You're not asexual. No one's asexual. Or if there are some people who are asexual, that word definitely only refers to other people. You know, ones that aren't you. You just haven't met the right person yet.
3.) Sexualnormativity. Now that we've gone through the sexual revolution, we've thrown off the chains of sexual repression and the outdated puritanical norms of Victorianism. Now we know how great sex is and we like it. We like it a lot. What's that? You're not interested in sex? You're not sexually attracted to anyone? You must be sexually repressed. Why don't you just admit that you're gay? Were you sexually abused as a child? How can you not like sex?! That's not normal!!!
These different sorts of objections can come from different parts of the population. The people who object to asexuality as a legitimate sexual orientation are not necessarily the same people who object to other non-heterosexual groups. People who insist that homosexual relations are contrary to the Bible and therefore immoral may not have problems with asexuality. These groups often tell gay men and lesbians that they either need to be celibate or enter into a heterosexual marriage. If asexuals want to be celibate, it isn't that difficult.
Furthermore, responses to asexuality vary on account of the enormous diversity among asexuals themselves. Some asexuals self-define as having a romantic orientation of the hetero/ homo/bi and a varieties. Some want to get married; others don't. Some want to have children; others don't. There are asexuals who are open to the possibility of experimenting with sex even if they don't feel sexual attraction, and there are asexuals who are quite convinced that they just don't want to have sex, ever. An asexual who wants to get married, have children and have enough sex to keep their spouse happy might gain acceptance from parents more easily than one who doesn't want to marry and doesn't want to have children.
Sometimes people who insist on recognizing sexual diversity have difficulty extending this recognition to asexuality. For some, sex is such an important part of how they think about relationships, about happiness, and about life that the idea of people being perfectly happy not having sex—even preferring not to have sex—can be a little frightening. Asexuality threatens to undermine basic beliefs about life and the world, and nobody likes it when that happens. Some people have devoted their careers to helping others to have better sex, helping people to get over their sexual problems. These professionals—even the ones who are LGBT friendly—may be more likely to view asexuals as people with sexual problems to overcome than to view them as members of a sexual minority needing to gain self-acceptance. Sexual diversity is great—as long as you're wanting to have sex in at least some circumstances.
Attempts to make sex normal possess the danger of making it normative. Thus, in sexualnormativity, rather than viewing asexuality as part of the wider human variation in sexuality, people see asexuality as a problem to be fixed, or they deny its existence. Dominant ideas about sexuality assume that all healthy adults want sex, or at least they should. Asexuality must be a cover for fear of sex or fear of intimacy, or repressive views about sexuality, the result of abuse or low hormones or maybe even mental illness. Or maybe people just haven't gotten in bed with the right person yet. (I mean, how could you not like sex?)
In combating such assumptions, it is essential to have people who aren't afraid to talk about sexuality, who don't have "repressive" beliefs about sex, who aren't afraid of intimacy. This is why sex-positive asexuals play a vital role. In debunking the assumptions people have about what asexuals "must" be like, we can argue that asexuality is simply another part of the spectrum of human sexuality.
However, not all people who lack sexual attraction come from backgrounds that value sexual diversity, participate in discussions of LGBT concerns, or have family members—especially parents—who would find arguments about asexuality as a sexual orientation compelling. To help asexuals in these contexts, it is important to find additional ways of increasing visibility in groups that value sexuality but not the way sex-positive people do— groups that value sexuality, but in a framework that values conformity over diversity. Perhaps we need to develop additional lines of argument to help asexuals with friends and parents objecting to asexuality for familial duty and social conformity rather than sexual-normativity. In the end, however, the biggest obstacle to widespread acceptance of asexuality is that most people have never heard of it.
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Featured AVENite: "Xaida"
A personage from the forums that you'd like to get to know better
Name: Kati
Age: 31
Location: a comfy four-generation family lair somewhere in Berlin, Germany
Preferred Label(s): asexy powerflirter, vegan lifestyler and label fetishist
Bio: I keep a little todo list that reveals my secret plans. You want to sneak a peek?
finding AVEN - done Dec. 2004
founding AVENde [German AVEN] - done Jan. 2005
being admin there for 18 months - done
being on and off any media occasion that presented itself in Germany - done
giving talks and participating at conferenceses on sexology - done
organizing an info booth for a pride festival - done 2006
designing the brochures, which someone called sassy ;) - done April 2008
writing a chapter to a book on sex - still upcoming
initiating another info booth for pride festival - still upcoming
turning violets into a cure for lung cancer - still upcoming
getting my piece of the cake when we take over Western and Eastern Europe (sorry, guys, I want EuroDisney) – still upcoming
How she came to AVEN: For years I had wandered up and down different forums and tried to reassure people with low or no sexual desire, who felt insecure and out of place. Once one of them answered that someone from AVEN had also told them asexuality would be a valid option. Wait a minute. What was AVEN?
The most important thing about AVEN: The personal gift I got from AVEN was self-empowerment and an urgent desire for experimentation. Sometimes a thing or two got blown up, but that wouldn't keep me from questioning matter-of-course beliefs about sexuality and getting a good piece of apositive relationships.
When I came to AVEN my immediate and only goal - that of asexuality being accepted - led to a new styling of my relationships, detection of new desires, messing around with the nature of passion and looking asexy in undersize skirts. I found cases of precendence and accidentally became a case of precedence myself. It allowed me to grow.
In order to make similar growth possible for any fellow asexual, they and the people around them would have to know about asexuality. Therefore the number one important thing to me is dynamic and fun visibility work.
Advice for newcomers: Dare to be different. And tell us about it!
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Inside AVEN: Purple Bananas
by HALLUCIGENIA and THE EVIL CASHEW
A lot of inside jokes in the "Just For Fun" forum revolve around AVEN administrator Amcan's avatar – a Borg penguin – and purple bananas are no different. It began in a private conversation between Amcan and The Evil Cashew. The bananas, colored purple to match the AVEN forums' background, would be filled with nanoprobes so that anybody eating them would be assimilated.
In threads such as "Purple Bananas – they're BACK!", Amcan and Cashew distributed bananas to anyone willing to eat them. Those who posted that they had eaten a banana were sent a private message in which they were declared assimilated, drafted into a militia group called the Global Organization of Menacing Asexuals, given an imaginary T-shirt, and offered a spot on a "semi nice tropical island."
"You really ought to read the fine print on strange fruit," said the private message.
As more and more people discovered purple bananas, more purple-themed inside jokes sprung up, such as Cipher's "purple ray," additional purple food products, and the "Captain Penguin and Officer Nut" series of stories, in which Amcan and Cashew were called on to defend the Purple Banana Emporium.
Although members of AVEN who eat purple bananas are no longer invited to join GOMA, purple bananas remain a popular topic in the sillier regions of AVEN. And, to this day, AVENites will still color things purple for no reason at all.
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Untitled
by ZANNERAT
i see your disregard everywhere, i see the little things;
the ones that indicate your ignorance of my indignation.
i see where i don't matter,
i see why i'm ignored,
i get the insignificance.
every day.
i wake up angry, i wake up crying
i wake up resenting another day where i need to rationalize the
treatment i keep telling myself is imagined.
every day i deny the evidence and look for the alternatives. they're
hard to find -
a moment where i'm enjoyable,
a moment of matching cutlery,
a moment to hear my name without a favour following.
these are smaller than the little things.
i wake with frustration humming in my throat and actions happening
before i can stop them.
i wake with my mother's insecurities and my father's inabilities and a
string of occurances and observances that only illustrates my
obtuseness.
i wake with this constant commentary, this anti-mantra, this abracadabra.
you tell me i mean something other than what i'm saying.
you tell me my motivations are your own.
you tell me to lighten up already then burden me with your assumptions.
you refuse to accept that i'm missing a dimension because you can't
conceive of life without it.
you never take my word for it.
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AVENues Wants You!
Here's the deal:
AVENues is not written by high-faluting AVEN officials in a secret office somewhere. AVENues is written by you – by real live asexuals, demi-sexuals, not-sure-yet-sexuals, and their allies. That means that keeping things moving in here is up to you.
In every issue, we're going to need a ton of writing, and we're making it easy now by giving you a list of exactly what we want. Here is a list of what
AVENues is made of:
News: If you were at (or know of) an event that had something to do with asexuality, we'd like to hear about it!
Opinion and theory: about asexuality. 300-1500 words is the best length.
Media: Have you spotted something asexual in a movie, book, song, or TV show? How are we being represented?
Poems and short stories with asexual themes.
The best of the AVEN forums: If you're hanging out online and see a post that deserves publishing or a hardworking asexy warrior who deserves recognition, tell us about it!
Art and photography: We normally use photos from AVEN meetups, but anything visual with an asexual or AVEN theme is well worth including.
Fun: Comics, puzzles, recipes – give AVENues' inner child something to do!
Send it all to newsl...@asexuality.org, and remember, we'll write back to you within three business days.
The full PDF version of this newsletter can be found here: http://www.asexuality.org/avenues/2008_04_26.pdf
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Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation.
AVEN: The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, an online community and resource archive striving to create open and honest discussion about asexuality among asexual and sexual people alike.
AVENues: A bimonthly publication available online, created by members of the AVEN community in order to showcase our thoughts and promote discussion by and about asexuals.
For more information, visit http://www.asexuality.org.
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Contents:
1. Why I'm a Sex-Positive Asexual
2. Letter from the Editor
3. News from the Spring
4. Sex-_____: A Plea for Strategic Apathy
5. From the forum
6. Asexuality Among Sexualities
7. Featured AVENite: "Xaida"
8. Inside AVEN: Purple Bananas
9. Poem: "Untitled"
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Why I'm a Sex-Positive Asexual
by VITTORIA
Sex is great. Fan-bloody-tastic. Not only is it fun, it's good for you. Burns calories, reduces stress, lowers risk of heart attack, prostate cancer and endometriosis, reaffirms the emotional bond between partners. If people spent more time blowing each other they'd have less time to blow each other up – "Make Love, Not War" and all that. I love sex. More people should have it (safely). I don't feel compelled to jump in the pile, but that doesn't mean I don't think anyone else who wants to shouldn't. There are much worse things people could be doing with their bodies.
Yes, I'm one of those sex-positive asexuals, which some take to mean an asexual who has sex, but I'm at a loss to find a better phrase for being asexual but endorsing sex as healthy and natural. Some asexuals think every single thing to do with the act is gross, gross, gross and want to hear, see or think about none of it. Those people make me feel lucky that I find sex interesting, intellectually at least, because hating sex while living in the modern world would be rather like disdaining oxygen. It's everywhere, so either find something about it interesting or resign yourself to being a lifelong grump monkey.
I've been interested in sex since I was a pre-teen. As a teenager, I realised that although I found sex fascinating, the physical act didn't interest me. That discovery didn't dampen my intellectual interest, however; it made sex even more interesting because it seemed such a driving force for so many people, even though it wrecks lives and can have disastrous consequences. Anything with that kind of power is inherently fascinating, as are the ever-shifting social mores and taboos surrounding it.
Then there are those who protest, "But surely, if you enjoy thinking about it so much you must really want to do it!" To that I say that I'm also fascinated by serial killers—it doesn't mean I'm planning a spree. I find many things I'm not personally interested in utterly captivating. Their very popularity is what mystifies and compels me. Certain celebrities (whose massive popularity despite their lack of talent or intelligence) fall into the same category.
Having no vested interest in sex can give a person a less prejudiced view of the mattress rodeo. From a purely anthropological view sex is grossly inaccurately portrayed by the media, abstinence-only education is an excellent way to support the tide of unwanted pregnancy and STDs, and people aren't doing nearly as many kinky things as frequently as you might think.
Something I love about being a sex-positive asexual is the responses I recieve from sexual people. People never expect you to have seen a porno or know what bukkake is, let alone where the G-spot is located or that the real person in control in a dominant-submissive scene is the submissive partner. There is a special kind of joy in being able to talk unflappably about things that turn even your most liberal friends a lovely puce. They want to know why I'm such a pervo and I say that sex is like a restaurant—sexual people find the things they like and stay with that part of the menu, but asexuals (of the sex-positive variety) wander by the buffet and check everything out because it's all odd to us. Sure, some things are at the farther end of the "wowwee" spectrum, but for the most part it's all baffling. We're not thinking of ourselves in those situations so it's more academic and less personal. Sex-positive asexuals can be a sex-positive sexual's best allies.
And, of course, we don't mind listening to people bitch about how annoying sex is, either.
This article was previously posted to www.apositive.org. It has been reprinted with permission from the author.
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Letter From the Editor
The question of how asexuals should think about sex is one that constantly plagues asexual communities. Rant about sex too angrily, and we risk alienating sexuals. Worse, we risk giving the impression that our asexuality is the result of antisexual beliefs rather than a natural orientation. But if we appear too enthusiastic about sex, or even too accepting of sexual behavior, we get the opposite problem: people may assume that our enthusiasm or acceptance stems from sexual attraction, and conclude that asexuality isn't real. What's a poor asexual to do?
Last issue, we announced the formation of a new asexual Web site, apositive.org, specifically for discussion among sex-positive asexuals with a strong grounding in the theory of sexology. This issue, with the debate about sex-positivity raging just as strongly as ever, we've devoted space to three different perspectives: one from a sex-positive writer, one from a writer who wishes we could just forget about sex altogether, and one from a writer who suspects that we need many different attitudes towards sex.
We hope that there will be something for every point of view in this issue, but if you've got something to add, why not write to us? We're always looking for letters at newsl...@asexuality.org.
- Hallucigenia, AVENues Editor-in-Chief
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News from the Spring
We've elected two new moderators (AntiBubble and Lehcar) to the AVEN forums, as well as a new administrator (Tanwen) and a tech administrator (Coleslaw). We have also lost Winter as a beloved old administrator.
Xaida, our Featured AVENite this issue, represented AVEN at the Congress of the European Federation of Sexology in Rome, Italy and is organizing an information booth for the Christopher Street Day Parade in Berlin, Germany. She has created her own brochures for both events. The brochures, a bit larger and more comprehensive than AVEN's official pamphlets, have been approved by AVEN's Project Team and are now available for anyone else who wants to distribute them.
Other AVENites notable for their visibility efforts this issue are Lehcar in Halifax and xSTELLA at the University of Western Ontario, both of whom gave well-recieved lectures on asexuality and have posted their slides for future use by others.
For those of you looking for mentions of asexuality in the media, new this issue are the Edmonton Journal in Canada, thelondonpaper in the UK, Ask Lynn on MSN Dating, a radio station in New York City, and the blog Queers United. More people in the media are looking to discuss asexuality in their work, including theSite.org in the UK, a newspaper in Denmark, a TV journalism graduate student in London, a writing and media student in Chicago, a discourse analysis student in Birmingham, and a student filmmaker in New York.
In the meantime, you might want to check out the new asexual blog Ace of Hearts:
http://www.frogthis.com/ace-of-hearts/
Asexy Beast, another asexual blog, has been nominated for the Best of Blogs Awards in the LGBT, sex, and pop culture categories. And don't forget the National Day of Silence on April 25 to support those who have been silenced because of their sexual orientation.
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Sex-_____: A Plea for Strategic Apathy
by BIRDNERD
There are a number of adjectives I feel somewhat comfortable using to describe myself, or at least to which I'm somewhat resigned. "Sex-positive" doesn't make the list, or if it does, it's probably a few slots down from "not over-fond of mayonnaise."
I have lurked for several months now at apositive.org, a site which I applaud for its deliberate theoretical rigor and its effort to marshal a wider variety of perspectives on asexuality. But I just can't stand up proudly as one of these "sex-positive asexuals" they keep talking about.
And it's not that I'm "sex-negative." I do find the idea of sex thoroughly unpleasant and can't foresee ever wanting to try it for any reason, but otherwise it's the same as most things: not really good or bad in and of itself, but something that can be used in better and worse ways. Under the correct circumstances, I fully believe that it can be a healthy, beautiful, all-around good thing for other people (although I probably take a narrower view of "the correct circumstances" than most who apply the "sex-positive" label without hesitation). But I'd rather not see it, hear about it, or otherwise have other people bother me about it. I'm sort of a non-militant repulsed asexual – certainly not antisexual, but when two characters start getting it on in a novel or a movie, you can bet I'm turning the page or taking a few minutes to balance my checkbook.
Perhaps some term like "sex-neutral" would be more acccurate, but what I find objectionable then is the demand to be sex-anything in the first place. As it's not something I'm the least bit interested in having anything to do with, having to take a position for it, against it, or someplace in between strikes me as disingenuous, or at least as an obstacle to living as asexily as I'd like.
I have the same difficulty with the antisexual perspective that I do with the sex-positive perspective – they both get too hung up on sex, albeit in opposite directions. And changing the binary opposition to a continuum in order to seek a middle ground isn't any help, either, because no matter what gray area between the two extremes one might occupy, one would still be stuck replying to the question "So what do you think about sex?"
A better framework would be one that allowed one to reply "Nothing at all," instead of giving it a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down or a thumbs-sideways or a thumbs-tilted-in-some-direction with different thumbs for oneself and for other people. A better framework still would be one where we chucked the sex question altogether and just talked about something else. Ideally, one wouldn't need to put sex on the radar at all, pro or con or anywhere in between.
While this probably sounds like some sort of neo-antisexuality, I don't think it's the sort of thing that anyone could or should enforce – to do so would be self-defeating, because we'd fall right back into the "Sex is ______" trap. I'll go out on a limb and call it "strategic apathy," although the very act of naming it places it in relation to sex again, so, predictably, there isn't a way of discussing the issue at all that isn't at least somewhat self-deconstructive.
I'm at a loss to describe a way to get from here to there, and to work out the practical implications, probably because "there" is a sort of asexual utopia (indeed, a utopia in its literal sense of "no place"). What I'm envisioning, imperfectly (and what I think we could only execute imperfectly), is a way of being in the world where the sex question doesn't come up, or comes up only peripherally. We'd live and love and read and write and sing and film and view and whatever else you please as though there were other fish to fry (and there are). For a lot of our friends, one of those fish is distinctly sexual in nature, but if we take greater care to supply ourselves with alternatives, it will no longer matter whether we're sex-positive, sex-negative, or anything in between.
This article was adapted by the author from one of her forum posts on apositive.org.
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From the Forum
A selection of posts from the discussion boards on the AVEN Web site
Perhaps it is just because I am a borderline asexual – I do have occasional urges, albeit rarely – but I'm not even all that put off with the idea of having sex myself. I am more than happy to interact with my boyfriend on that level, because even though I don't feel driven to do it the way he does, I know it makes him happy, and it doesn't bother me to do it for him. I think, actually, that understanding my asexuality allowed me to be sexual with him, because I was no longer waiting for when I was "in the mood," and was able to offer him gratification for the pure and simple fact that I love him that much, and he makes me that comfortable. It is, to me, just another way to show him how much I love him, just as he shows me he loves me in ways that he knows matter to me.
- PrairieGhost, Tuesday March 25, "Anyone else here actually don't mind sex?" in Asexual Q&A
I don't think making an analogy between asexuality and deafness is insulting to asexuals, because I don't think deafness makes a person inferior, just different. In fact, once you consider the spectrum of the ability to sense sound - from hypersensitive, through the normal range, to hard of hearing and completely deaf, I think the analogy works well on many levels.
Sex for sexuals then maps to music for the hearing - there are all kinds: classical, jazz, country and thrash, and in each genre there's great, good, bland, serious, fun, weird and awful. And because most of the world is hearing, popular culture is just awash with music. People are always discussing their musical tastes, and it gets gratuitously added to films even when that does nothing to advance the plot. :)
- Olivier, Saturday April 12, "missing 'adequate stimulus' or sexual orientation?" in Asexual Musings and Rantings
Eight years and we're still going strong. We do have our up's and down's, but doesn't any relationship? I think what is making it work for us, is that I'm AS and he is Bi (even leaning more to the gay side lately) We are total soul-mates, happy, and very much in love with each other. Cuddles are endless, occassional kissing (pecks mostly) and we share everything. There is no sex what-so-ever. I even get nervous when it's skin on skin. But he is so accepting and loving. I feel very lucky. He says he does too.
What I find interesting, is that he says sometimes that he wishes he could be more like me. He also, would like to feel the peacefullness and serenity asexuality can bring to a person. To not have the struggles and desires for sex is very uplifting and free's ones mind, body and soul for other things. He would very much like to have that also. On the other hand, I wish sometimes I could be like him and share the desire to be in that special way with your partner. So mostly our struggles come from the inability to totally fulfill the other's needs ourselves.
We both know that no matter what, we will grow old together. We need each other in so many ways and sex has nothing to do with it. We are two puzzle pieces that fit together with glue and complete the big picture.
Thank you for a place to be able to share this.
- starcat, Tuesday March 4, "Who has been in a SUCCESSFUL 'mixed' relationship?" in For Sexual Partners, Friends, and Allies
I completely agree with the point that being united IS worth a great deal, in practical terms as well as less-tangible ones.
As a straight asexual woman, I have to tell you that I feel no less "queer" than one of my Loved Ones, who happens to be a homosexual male. Let's face it, guys: the vast majority of the population sees asexuals as flawed, deficient, and wrong. That's just the way it is.
That ignorant viewpoint IS changing, due to the courage and hard work of many selfless queer people. If asexuality is ever to be understood and accepted, then we need to be just as courageous!
I, for one, am proud to call myself Queer.
- rain_2_fog, Wednesday April 2, "Asexual Activism/Queer Rights" in Announcements
AVEN posts belong to their respective authors and do not necessarily express the official views of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
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Asexuality Among Sexualities
by A.C. HINDERLITER
Over the last several months, many on AVEN have complained about an increased negativity toward sex among some on the site. There is talk of "true asexuals." People are told that they aren't "real" asexuals. There are complaints about how gross sex is, how annoying sexual people are, and sometimes even of how sex and love are mutually exclusive.
In some sense, this is understandable. If asexuals base their views of sexuality only on personal experience or on others using sexuality to make them feel excluded, unimportant, repressed, or simply unable to enjoy the most amazing thing in the whole world, it's not hard to see how negative views toward sexuality can sometimes arise. Viewed this way, it can be easy to see all the harmful and destructive ways sexuality can be and is used and to overlook the many positive and healthy ways sexuality can be expressed.
In response to this, many have emphasized that even though sex may not be an important part of our lives, that doesn't mean it isn't an important part of others'. Even if sex is not a significant part of how we think about love and affection, that doesn't mean it isn't a significant part of how others think about certain expressions of love and affection. Recently, a new asexual Web site, apositive.org, was founded to be a sex-positive asexuality forum (or at least sex double negative). The Web site has two goals: 1) to show that asexuality does not imply antisexuality and 2) to carry out conversations on asexuality beyond "Asexuality 101."
Despite my being a member of a "sex-positive" asexual site and having views on human sexuality not too unlike those of other members of that site, I would not call myself sex-positive. My reason is similar to issues many have with terms like "pro-choice" and "pro-life:" these terms categorize opponents as being either anti-choice or anti-life. I don't want to be opposed to freedom or life, and I certainly don't want to be pro-death. On a subject so difficult that reasonable people can disagree about it, such polarizing terms do not help us to understand those we disagree with.
If I call myself sex-positive does that mean that I'm condemning everyone who disagrees with my politics of sexuality as "sex-negative?" I've heard the term "sex-positive" described as meaning that sex is good and to be valued, that sexuality is an important part of people's personalities, that we should not deny that we are sexual beings. My problem with this is that most of the people I've heard telling me to save sex for marriage—defined as being between one man and one woman—would be sex-positive by that definition. They often argue that saving sex for marriage will result in a better sex-life and a better marriage. God made sex, they say, and God made sex to be enjoyed, but only in the context of marriage between a man and a woman. Premarital sex cheapens sex; it spreads disease and makes unwanted pregnancies, and, most importantly, it's not what God—who made us and loves us—wants for us. They say we shouldn't have premarital sex, not because sex is bad, but because sex is good. However, if there's anyone that the term "sex-positive" is supposed to exclude, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be proponents of abstinence-only sex education and those who insist sex is only acceptable in heterosexual marriage.
Nevertheless, even though I have problems with the term "sex-positive," I think it's important that there are sex-positive asexuals. But I also think it's important that there are non-sex-positive asexuals (as long as they don't think that sex is inherently evil). The reason is that there are a variety of sources of opposition that asexuals can run up against and these can come from different parts of the population. The way that sex-positive asexuals explain asexuality is helpful for gaining acceptance in certain parts of the population, but probably pretty ineffective in other parts of the population.
At present, there are three main sources of opposition to acceptance of asexuality: 1) familial duty, 2) social conformity, 3) sexualnormativity.
1) Familial duty. Getting married and having children is your duty to your family and your community. What? You're asexual? Don't say such nonsense. I'm sure you'll grow out of it.
2.) Social conformity. You need to go to high school, study hard so you can get into a good college, graduate and somewhere in there find that special someone so you can get married and have children. Daddy goes to work. He's the breadwinner and the head of the house. Mommy stays at home, takes care of the kids and becomes a soccer mom, driving the little ones around the winding pathways of Suburbia in her gas-guzzling SUV. That's what everyone does, so that's what you should do too. What do you mean you're asexual? You're not asexual. No one's asexual. Or if there are some people who are asexual, that word definitely only refers to other people. You know, ones that aren't you. You just haven't met the right person yet.
3.) Sexualnormativity. Now that we've gone through the sexual revolution, we've thrown off the chains of sexual repression and the outdated puritanical norms of Victorianism. Now we know how great sex is and we like it. We like it a lot. What's that? You're not interested in sex? You're not sexually attracted to anyone? You must be sexually repressed. Why don't you just admit that you're gay? Were you sexually abused as a child? How can you not like sex?! That's not normal!!!
These different sorts of objections can come from different parts of the population. The people who object to asexuality as a legitimate sexual orientation are not necessarily the same people who object to other non-heterosexual groups. People who insist that homosexual relations are contrary to the Bible and therefore immoral may not have problems with asexuality. These groups often tell gay men and lesbians that they either need to be celibate or enter into a heterosexual marriage. If asexuals want to be celibate, it isn't that difficult.
Furthermore, responses to asexuality vary on account of the enormous diversity among asexuals themselves. Some asexuals self-define as having a romantic orientation of the hetero/ homo/bi and a varieties. Some want to get married; others don't. Some want to have children; others don't. There are asexuals who are open to the possibility of experimenting with sex even if they don't feel sexual attraction, and there are asexuals who are quite convinced that they just don't want to have sex, ever. An asexual who wants to get married, have children and have enough sex to keep their spouse happy might gain acceptance from parents more easily than one who doesn't want to marry and doesn't want to have children.
Sometimes people who insist on recognizing sexual diversity have difficulty extending this recognition to asexuality. For some, sex is such an important part of how they think about relationships, about happiness, and about life that the idea of people being perfectly happy not having sex—even preferring not to have sex—can be a little frightening. Asexuality threatens to undermine basic beliefs about life and the world, and nobody likes it when that happens. Some people have devoted their careers to helping others to have better sex, helping people to get over their sexual problems. These professionals—even the ones who are LGBT friendly—may be more likely to view asexuals as people with sexual problems to overcome than to view them as members of a sexual minority needing to gain self-acceptance. Sexual diversity is great—as long as you're wanting to have sex in at least some circumstances.
Attempts to make sex normal possess the danger of making it normative. Thus, in sexualnormativity, rather than viewing asexuality as part of the wider human variation in sexuality, people see asexuality as a problem to be fixed, or they deny its existence. Dominant ideas about sexuality assume that all healthy adults want sex, or at least they should. Asexuality must be a cover for fear of sex or fear of intimacy, or repressive views about sexuality, the result of abuse or low hormones or maybe even mental illness. Or maybe people just haven't gotten in bed with the right person yet. (I mean, how could you not like sex?)
In combating such assumptions, it is essential to have people who aren't afraid to talk about sexuality, who don't have "repressive" beliefs about sex, who aren't afraid of intimacy. This is why sex-positive asexuals play a vital role. In debunking the assumptions people have about what asexuals "must" be like, we can argue that asexuality is simply another part of the spectrum of human sexuality.
However, not all people who lack sexual attraction come from backgrounds that value sexual diversity, participate in discussions of LGBT concerns, or have family members—especially parents—who would find arguments about asexuality as a sexual orientation compelling. To help asexuals in these contexts, it is important to find additional ways of increasing visibility in groups that value sexuality but not the way sex-positive people do— groups that value sexuality, but in a framework that values conformity over diversity. Perhaps we need to develop additional lines of argument to help asexuals with friends and parents objecting to asexuality for familial duty and social conformity rather than sexual-normativity. In the end, however, the biggest obstacle to widespread acceptance of asexuality is that most people have never heard of it.
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Featured AVENite: "Xaida"
A personage from the forums that you'd like to get to know better
Name: Kati
Age: 31
Location: a comfy four-generation family lair somewhere in Berlin, Germany
Preferred Label(s): asexy powerflirter, vegan lifestyler and label fetishist
Bio: I keep a little todo list that reveals my secret plans. You want to sneak a peek?
finding AVEN - done Dec. 2004
founding AVENde [German AVEN] - done Jan. 2005
being admin there for 18 months - done
being on and off any media occasion that presented itself in Germany - done
giving talks and participating at conferenceses on sexology - done
organizing an info booth for a pride festival - done 2006
designing the brochures, which someone called sassy ;) - done April 2008
writing a chapter to a book on sex - still upcoming
initiating another info booth for pride festival - still upcoming
turning violets into a cure for lung cancer - still upcoming
getting my piece of the cake when we take over Western and Eastern Europe (sorry, guys, I want EuroDisney) – still upcoming
How she came to AVEN: For years I had wandered up and down different forums and tried to reassure people with low or no sexual desire, who felt insecure and out of place. Once one of them answered that someone from AVEN had also told them asexuality would be a valid option. Wait a minute. What was AVEN?
The most important thing about AVEN: The personal gift I got from AVEN was self-empowerment and an urgent desire for experimentation. Sometimes a thing or two got blown up, but that wouldn't keep me from questioning matter-of-course beliefs about sexuality and getting a good piece of apositive relationships.
When I came to AVEN my immediate and only goal - that of asexuality being accepted - led to a new styling of my relationships, detection of new desires, messing around with the nature of passion and looking asexy in undersize skirts. I found cases of precendence and accidentally became a case of precedence myself. It allowed me to grow.
In order to make similar growth possible for any fellow asexual, they and the people around them would have to know about asexuality. Therefore the number one important thing to me is dynamic and fun visibility work.
Advice for newcomers: Dare to be different. And tell us about it!
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Inside AVEN: Purple Bananas
by HALLUCIGENIA and THE EVIL CASHEW
A lot of inside jokes in the "Just For Fun" forum revolve around AVEN administrator Amcan's avatar – a Borg penguin – and purple bananas are no different. It began in a private conversation between Amcan and The Evil Cashew. The bananas, colored purple to match the AVEN forums' background, would be filled with nanoprobes so that anybody eating them would be assimilated.
In threads such as "Purple Bananas – they're BACK!", Amcan and Cashew distributed bananas to anyone willing to eat them. Those who posted that they had eaten a banana were sent a private message in which they were declared assimilated, drafted into a militia group called the Global Organization of Menacing Asexuals, given an imaginary T-shirt, and offered a spot on a "semi nice tropical island."
"You really ought to read the fine print on strange fruit," said the private message.
As more and more people discovered purple bananas, more purple-themed inside jokes sprung up, such as Cipher's "purple ray," additional purple food products, and the "Captain Penguin and Officer Nut" series of stories, in which Amcan and Cashew were called on to defend the Purple Banana Emporium.
Although members of AVEN who eat purple bananas are no longer invited to join GOMA, purple bananas remain a popular topic in the sillier regions of AVEN. And, to this day, AVENites will still color things purple for no reason at all.
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Untitled
by ZANNERAT
i see your disregard everywhere, i see the little things;
the ones that indicate your ignorance of my indignation.
i see where i don't matter,
i see why i'm ignored,
i get the insignificance.
every day.
i wake up angry, i wake up crying
i wake up resenting another day where i need to rationalize the
treatment i keep telling myself is imagined.
every day i deny the evidence and look for the alternatives. they're
hard to find -
a moment where i'm enjoyable,
a moment of matching cutlery,
a moment to hear my name without a favour following.
these are smaller than the little things.
i wake with frustration humming in my throat and actions happening
before i can stop them.
i wake with my mother's insecurities and my father's inabilities and a
string of occurances and observances that only illustrates my
obtuseness.
i wake with this constant commentary, this anti-mantra, this abracadabra.
you tell me i mean something other than what i'm saying.
you tell me my motivations are your own.
you tell me to lighten up already then burden me with your assumptions.
you refuse to accept that i'm missing a dimension because you can't
conceive of life without it.
you never take my word for it.
--
AVENues Wants You!
Here's the deal:
AVENues is not written by high-faluting AVEN officials in a secret office somewhere. AVENues is written by you – by real live asexuals, demi-sexuals, not-sure-yet-sexuals, and their allies. That means that keeping things moving in here is up to you.
In every issue, we're going to need a ton of writing, and we're making it easy now by giving you a list of exactly what we want. Here is a list of what
AVENues is made of:
News: If you were at (or know of) an event that had something to do with asexuality, we'd like to hear about it!
Opinion and theory: about asexuality. 300-1500 words is the best length.
Media: Have you spotted something asexual in a movie, book, song, or TV show? How are we being represented?
Poems and short stories with asexual themes.
The best of the AVEN forums: If you're hanging out online and see a post that deserves publishing or a hardworking asexy warrior who deserves recognition, tell us about it!
Art and photography: We normally use photos from AVEN meetups, but anything visual with an asexual or AVEN theme is well worth including.
Fun: Comics, puzzles, recipes – give AVENues' inner child something to do!
Send it all to newsl...@asexuality.org, and remember, we'll write back to you within three business days.
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