Emen8: Theo’s story: ‘There’s always a safe way to enjoy sex and pleasure’
Michael Barnett OAM
Theo’s story: ‘There’s always a safe way to enjoy sex and pleasure’
By Oli McAuslan, updated 6 hours ago in Health / Sexual health
We talked with Theo from Hong Kong about migrating to Australia, getting PrEP for the first time, and connecting with the Chinese community here.
I’m Theo, I’m 37, and I use the pronouns he/they. I’m from Hong Kong and I’ve lived in Australia for three years.
What are the main differences in sexual health between Australia and your home country?
There’s a lot of information about sexual health in Australia. For example, I learnt about Doxy-PEP here. Also, I think PrEP is handled very differently here. It’s much easier to get here, so a lot more people use it as HIV prevention.
What about sex and hookup culture between Australia and your home country?
From my experience, there are more types of accepted sexual behaviour — different varieties of sex, not just anal sex. On dating apps, I wouldn’t say that everyone uses their face pics in their profile, but more than in Hong Kong.
What have you learnt about sexual health since coming to Australia?
Sexual health is a continuous concept:
There is always a safe way to enjoy sex and pleasure.
It’s nice that we have different prevention methods tailored to people who want sex differently. I currently use condoms and PrEP to prevent HIV and STIs.
Where did you learn this?
I got a lot of information from both my local sexual health organisation and the testing service I go to. There are also different community groups where I made LGBTQ friends who taught me about sexual health and services.
Did anything surprise you?
How normalised taking care of your sexual health is here. It’s okay if you’ve caught an STI. You get tested, let your partners know, and get treated. There’s not as much shame or stigma here.
Where did you get your first HIV test in Australia?
It was when I went to a sexual health service for a PrEP program.
The nurses were very friendly; they cared for me as a whole person.
She asked me about university and the weather. I was asked if I wanted to get an mpox vaccine while I was there, too.
I knew about PrEP and condoms before I came here. But it was much easier to get PrEP here. At the clinic, the nurse informed me about the available resources. She understood that as international students, we don’t have Medicare or full-time work. I was able to access a free PrEP program through the sexual health service I go to.
How do you maintain cultural or family values away from home?
Since I migrated when I was a bit older, I held my family values closely when I first arrived. I have maintained these by making friends from my home country. We hang out together, speak Cantonese and eat Cantonese food.
I don’t feel strongly about traditional family values, but I remain connected with my culture. During Lunar New Year, my friends and I get together and celebrate each other’s traditions. One of my friends is from Northern China, so we would make dumplings, which is a tradition there.
How do you balance cultural values with your queerness?
I don’t see them as exclusive to each other.
There isn’t a strong contradiction between my family values and my queer lifestyle. These parts of my identity co-exist.
Different forms of queer expression are given space here — not just sexual.
I’ve learned I can be myself and do my own thing. There isn’t a particular queer lifestyle I need to conform to. People always encourage you to go to clubs and experience the scene. I try, but I don’t know if I enjoy them that much. I go occasionally, but not that often.
Since arriving in Australia, have you expressed yourself differently?
Yes, because there is less shame and stigma, it gives you space to explore yourself. I have tried putting on a skirt and kilt here, but I would have never been able to do that in Hong Kong. I enjoyed the freedom.
What advice would you give to someone who is just arriving in Australia as an LGBTQ migrant?
You may initially experience a cultural shock. You might be coming from a very conservative context. Take your time. Find your own style and preferences. There are so many ways to express yourself. Check in with yourself. There is always support available.
Editor’s note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Thanks for sharing your story, Theo. For basic sexual health info translated into Simplified Chinese, visit our Knowledge Hub.
If you liked this interview, check out our other health content for visa holders:
- HIV in Australia: The statistics and prevention of HIV
- Medicare: what is it and what does it cover?
- Private health insurance for gay and bisexual men on visas in Australia
- Getting your first HIV test in Australia — it’s easy and confidential
- How to get PrEP as a visa holder
- Getting your first test in Australia
- My partner told me he had syphilis; we got tested together