Peter Russell Clarke FAQ 1.3
Dylan Behan
Peter's return to television!!!
**** The frequently asked questions list for Australian chef
and TV personality
Peter Russell-Clarke
*** Maintained by DYLAN BEHAN
Send all comments, contributions, criticism to
sn...@gco.apana.org.au
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PETER RUSSELL-CLARKE FAQ
VERSION 1.2
NOVEMBER, 1995.
Contents
1) Frequently Asked Questions
2) Poems about Peter Russell-Clarke
3) Copyright information
4) Disclaimer
5) Where to find this FAQ
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1) Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Who the hell is Peter Russell-Clarke?
A. Peter Russell-Clarke is an Australian chef and TV
personality who's career has gone somewhat downhill over the
last couple of years.
Q. What is his middle name?
A. Russell
Q. What is his star sign?
A. Chef
Q. Is it spelt Russell or Rusell?
A. It's Russell
Q. Isn't his name Peter Brussell Sprout?
A. Several people I know have *honestly* thought that was
his name. I wish I knew why!
Q. How did he become famous?
A. In the early-mid 1980's Peter carved out his name in
society by presenting a 5 minutes cooking show every
weeknight at 6 o'clock on the government owned Australia
wide television network, ABC. I used to watch him every
night because his show was before 'Inspector Gadget'.
The show was called "Come and Get it with Peter Russell-
Clarke". He cooked a variety of things ranging from...
actually I don't remember anything he's ever done.
As I learned from the "Peter Russell-Clarke's New Idea
Cookbook" for many years he did a cooking page on Page 47 of
the New Idea magazine.
The show lasted for several years but with the advent
of "The afternoon show" hosted at the time by James
Valentine (presented TVTV on ABC in 1993-4), 'Come and get
it' was pulled from the air.
However, Peter Russell-Clarke remained firm in
everyone's mind for a while because of a series of TV
commercials he did sometime in the 1980's for COON CHEESE.
These ads were in the style of the "Where's the Beef?"
television campaign of the 1960-70 in America (Those of you
watch the Simpsons will have heard references to this,
including Homer claiming he still has an original 'Where's
the Beef' bumper sticker on his car). In these
advertisements the question was posed "Where's the Cheese?".
This was Peter's catch phrase for years. In a
television interview in the early 1990's Peter said "I could
be walking down the street, even now and someone will shout
'WHERE THE CHEESE?'". It didn't get to a point where Peter
hated the phrase though, he considered it quite good that
people remembered him at all.
Following this Peter was not seen in the media at all,
to my knowledge. However with 1993, COON needed a new
advertising campaign, so they once again called on Peter,
but they dispensed with "Where's the cheese?" and instead
had Peter riding around on his bicycle to lots of places in
Australia who's name begin with COON. To a catchy tune, we
got the occasional remarks from people.
COON dispensed with this advertising campaign in the
second half of 1994, since then Peter has not been seen. The
new COON advertising campaign, launched July 1995, does not
feature Peter at all, but a whole heap of dorks miming to a
parody of Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love", I'll let you
guess what they end up being addicted to.
In September 1995 Peter Russell-Clarke once again hit
our TV screens with a television advertisement for Faber
Castell water colour pencils. Unfortunately there are no
nice little catch phrases in this one, but we do get to see
a bucket of water thrown on Peter, so I guess it's worth it.
Q. What's this about him coming back to TV?
A. Well, I believe he has new Cooking segments on the ABC to
promote the new "Fresh Ideas" magazine which is available at
"all ABC shops as well as all good greengrocers". I was it
between shows at approx. 11am on Sunday November 26th 1995.
It was more of an advertisement than a cooking spot... but
anyway he did cook "Chicken and Avocado in Rice Paper".
Well, I'll be tuning in, hoping to catch him say "G'day".
Q. Now seriously, does Peter Russell-Clarke deserve an FAQ?
A. Well, damn it he does. He changed my life in small and
insignificant ways, so I think his name should become known
all around the world. To the best of my knowledge, I have
only a few confirmed people who have read this FAQ. That is,
people who have send me e-mail. Quite possibly, a million
people could've read this, but a few of them e-mailed me.
Q. What were some of the places who's name began with Coon?
A. Coonamble, Coonabarabran, Coongulmerang, Coonawarra,
Coonalpyn, Coonooer ridge,
Q. What were the lyrics to the 'COME AND GET IT' theme?
A. Thanks the five or six people who e-mailed me promptly
with the theme song. However, some confusion revolves around
that line in the third verse. I included both submissions
for this line, some one e-mail me and confirm the right one.
> Come and Get it
> Come and get it
> With Peter Russell-Clark
> In the city or the outback,
> He's Australia's brightest spark.
> Come and get it
> Come and get it
> Good food you'd like to eat
> Come and get it
> Come and get it
> And there's people you can meet.
> Cook a shark
> Or make a hamper
> Meet your equal/Feed your ego
> Bake a damper
> On a farm or out at sea
> He's got a recipe or three....
> Come and get it
> With Peter <G'day>
> Russell <G'day>
> Clark.
At the end of the show, the last line had <See ya later>
added to it.
And, may I note there has been much controversy in the
AUS.TV newsgroup about if the line is "Feed your ego" or
"Feed your eagle".
Robin Shortt <ro...@bgr16.anu.edu.au> had this to ad:
>Besides, look at the other lines in the verse: "Cook a
shark ... make a >damper ... pack your hamper". All to do
with the manipulation of food. >"Eagle" is the only word
that makes sense, and it _never_ sounded like >"ego". I and
everyone I talked to clearly remembers it as "eagle".
nor...@enternet.com.au had to say:
>I agree, it is definitely feed your EGO. How many people
have eagles? >or am I missing out somewhere.
>And you admit that you don't have one?!? Everyone else in
this country >has an eagle. It is part of our constitution.
>However there is a social taboo that prevents people from
talking about >such personal issues as this, so that is why
you don't see any mention >of it. (Although the rock band
Skyhooks tried to bring it out into the >open with their
song "Eagle is not a dirty word" back in the 70s).
>By revealing your lack of lifelong birdy companion you have
made >yourself into a social outcast. People will now refer
to you as "that >guy without an eagle".
>On a less serious note, in another thread somebody is
asking if it is >OK to report what people are saying on the
Usenet in a radio segment. I >wonder if they will report how
we cannot agree on the words of the >theme of a five minute
cooking show that has been off the air for >years.
Q. Some of what people said in the coon ad became catch
phrases at my school, what were some of them again?
A. Peter: Now let's talk to some real cheese expert
Woman: You mean coon cheese experts, Peter!
Peter: See what I mean!
Man: Been eating coon cheese for sixty years of my life
Runty Boy: Me too
Peter: Sixty years, come on! All around Australia people
love that great coon taste. Say Cheese.
everyone: COON!
Q. Did Fast Forward parody this ad?
A. Yes, they did. I believe they had Michael Veitch play the
part, and he copied Peter Russell-Clarke's most famous catch
phrase 'G'DAY', repeating it every few seconds, mixed in
with remarks about COON and that annoying laugh of his.
Q. Because of this advertising campaign COON CHEESE became
both COOL and UNCOOL at my school at the same time, what
does this mean?
A. Well, if you made fun of COON, and ate for the humorous
value that was COOL, if you took COON way too seriously, you
were UNCOOL.
Q. COON really influenced my life, how about you?
A. Last year, at school, in Maths, we played COON SOCCER,
using a piece of COON. I got hit in the head with it and
fell to the ground in a blaze of bravery and hilarity. The
COON was wrecked, it eventually got stuck in the beams on
the ceiling. I wonder if it's still up there?
Q. How can I get in touch with Peter Russell-Clarke?
A. I don't know. Maybe try ABC TV in your capital city, or
Melbourne for that matter, other than that I don't know.
Q. What Peter Russell-Clarke merchandising was released?
A. A cook book, (Thanks to Geoff <Sp...@mailbox.uq.oz.au>
for this)
Russell-Clarke, Peter.
Peter Russell-Clarke's Come and get it cookbook.
ISBN 0 333 38035 5
Peter Russell-Clarke's New Idea Cookbook
ISBN 0 86860 280 9
Southdown Press, 32 Walsh Street, Melbourne 3000
He has also supposedly done an egg cookbook too.
A video: The best of Peter Russell-Clarke
(Thanks to Sam Bowring <za...@magna.com.au> for seeing this
one at the national film and sound archive.)
Q. Can you tell me more about any of these products?
A. Only the New Idea cookbook, which I have. It is a
compilation of recipes from his cooking segment from New
Idea magazine, plus new recipes, stories, cartoons and
drawings. The only picture of Mr. Russell-Clarke is on the
front cover, where is holding up a big platter of food. In
the corner it says "Hundreds of Great Recipes from
Australia's Zaniest Chef ~ plus cartoons and rib tickling
stories".
The cartoons and drawings, which Peter does entirely himself
are scattered throughout the book, some of them include
Peter washing dishes, Peter carrying a fat opera lady on her
plate, Peter riding a cow and Peter arguing with an Octopus.
There are also tonnes of picture of the what the recipes
look like prepared, Peter is in none of them though. I am
unable to tell when the book was released, as it is not
mentioned anywhere within.
The introduction to the book begins:
"G'DAY. I'm Peter Russell thingamebob. OK? I've just written
an introduction"
Q. Wouldn't Peter Russell-Clarke been perfect to sing a song
on an episode of 'THE LATE SHOW', during the credits when
they normally get some celebrity to come on an butcher a top
40 hit?
A. Yes. One other famous Australian chef came on though,
Gabrielle Gatte did a terrible rendition of 'Accidentally
Kelly Street' by Frente. It is one of the most well known
there has been.
Adrian King <ak...@mfs01.cc.monash.edu.au> adds this:
>Actually, Peter did make an appearance on the 'The Late
Show'.
>It was on a Dr. Who send up sketch, and Rob Stitch was Dr.
Who. When he
>died, Peter Russell-Clarke replaced him as the re-
incarnated Dr. Who.
It's funny, my friends and I, regular watches of the LATE
SHOW don't remember this moment. Will someone else confirm
it for me?
Yes, Scott McLauchlan <sc...@csc.canberra.edu.au> tells me
this:
>It certainly happened. Have a look at
>ftp://frontios.niagara.edu/pub/Doctor_Who/graphics/jpg/prc-
doc.jpg
>for a screen-capture of Peter Russell-Clarke as the Doctor
that I took >a few years ago. I may even still have the
sketch on tape somewhere.
I've been trying to get through for quite a while, it hasn't
given me access yet. Oh well, keep trying...
Q. Where has Peter Russell-Clarke appeared recently?
A. Sometime in June or July 1995 he appeared in a photograph
at the Sunday Age at the opening of Lemon Tree Hotel.
Q. Is that handsome Peter Russell-Clarke married?
A. Sorry ladies, as far as I can tell, yes. In his New Idea
cookbook he thanks Jan, his wife.
Q. Do you take this seriously?
A. No, I think of it as one big joke. Ho Ho, Ha Ha, life is
one big joke. I like Peter Russell-Clarke, not as a person
but as a total geek nerd. He's funny. Ha Ha.
Q. Who were the people who helped you with this FAQ?
A. Well, thanks to Andrew Murdoch
(s32...@student.uq.edu.au), Adrian King
(ak...@MFS01.cc.monash.edu.au), Sam Bowring
<za...@magna.com.au>, Geoff <Sp...@mailbox.uq.oz.au>,
Manfred Hanley (man...@frog.apana.org.au), Robert Hudson
on the Emerald Towers BBS, Scott McLauchlan
<sc...@csc.canberra.edu.au>, Robin Shortt
<ro...@bgr16.anu.edu.au>, ??? <gca...@mtpost.apana.org.au>,
Warwick Holt, ??? <nor...@enternet.com.au> and Markus
Mannheim (ly...@emerald.mpx.com.au).
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2) Poems about Peter Russell-Clarke
note: I accept submissions in this area
Peter the Man
By Dylan Behan
© Dylan Behan, 1995
Every night, near on six
His voice would shriek from the TV set
'PETER g'day RUSSELL g'day CLARK'
were the words that scared me,
I thought I would die of terror
when he made that Pancake Flambe
Not that's all over
ALL I have now, is
him saying "WHERE's THE CHEESE"
I hate his guts
I wish he would die
but I love him anyhow
That finished, he disappeared from the social scene
Probably to clip his toe nails
Years later his nails were clipped
he was back selling COON.
This time from Coonamble
STOP THE FRIDGE
Now he's gone completely
Will he ever be back?
Probably not
He's probably choked on a incorrectly chopped Asparagus bone
Dead as a door nob
was my friend,
Peter the Nob
Come and get him!
By Dylan Behan
© Dylan Behan, 1995
Come and Get him!
Come and Get him!
It's the host we hate!
Come and Get him!
Come and Get him!
Before he says 'G'day Mate'
Come and Get him!
Come and Get him!
The meals, we know are fake
Come and Get him!
Come and Get him!
He's awful on a date
He's a moron, we all hate him
But we know that, he's a legend
Come and Get him!
He's Peter
G'Day
Russell
G'day
Clark
<bang> <scream>
Valentines Day Poem
By Dylan Behan
© Dylan Behan, 1995
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
It's Peter Russell-Clarke
who belongs in the loo.
Peter Brussel Sprout Man eats frozen spinach
By Dylan Behan
© Dylan Behan, 1995
I once knew a guy
he was Peter Russell-Clark
errr, who cares
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3) Copyright information
This article © Dylan Behan, 1995.
It can be redistributed in any way as long as it is not
altered in anyway and this copyright information, along with
the authors name is intact.
If you read this, I would very much appreciate if you sent
me some E-Mail. My address is sn...@gco.apana.org.au. You
can E-mail me there for any other information.
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4) Disclaimer
There are probably errors in this document, I don't deny
that. I don't deny that I wrote this FAQ knowing very little
about Peter Russell-Clarke. However, if you E-mail me with
the error I will do my best to correct, and when I see
necessary re-post it with errors fixed. I did no research at
all for this, I just it from memory.
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5) Where to find this FAQ
Q) How can I receive a more up do date version of this FAQ?
A) Well, E-mail me at sn...@gco.apana.org.au and if one
exists I'll be happy to send it to you. I will try posting
it every so often to the USENET newsgroup AUS.TV.
This is not my e-mail account, I should be getting my own in
a few months.
If you have any PRC or related files, get in contact with
me, or if anyone is willing to html-ise the FAQ, I will
graciosuly put in on the web for them. I have the space.
END END END
"I've been eating COON CHEESE for sixty years of my life,
and boy is my mouth tired!!"- a looser
Peter Russell-Clarke, TV Commercials most famous funny-when-
they-don't-try-to-be-guy before that guy on the Goggo (G-O-G-
G-O) mobile ad, Greg "Yeah-Yeah" Matthews or that damn "Oh
my lunch" Plasticine Rhino.