And now for something completely different...
lara_s...@hotmail.com
Sydney, Australia, 1996
Oceanographic scientists say they have discovered a vast, floating "reef"
of the world's disposed condoms in the middle of the South Pacific, about
halfway between Tahiti and Antarctica. The phenomenal mass is almost two
miles long, an eighth of a mile wide, and in places up to 60 feet deep,
the oceanographers say.
Mason Froule, Australian marine biologist at his country's Oceanographic
Laboratory Outpost on Macquarie Island, South Pacific, said the bizarre
accumulation is explained by a scientific term called "like aggregation"--
that is, the massing of similar objects over short or longer periods of
time due to wind or ocean currents, magnetic fields, buoyancy and
other conditions.
"It's fairly common in the world's oceans," he said: natural events such
as red tides, for example, are instances of "like aggregation."
"People with pets that shed lots of hair can see it in their own homes,"
Froule added.
"The dog sheds everywhere in the room, but after falling out, the fur soon
collects in a few clumps and masses."
Froule said ocean "reefs" of styrofoam and detergent residues have been
observed in the South Pacific and elsewhere for many years,
but they are usually broken up by storms before they become large or
hazardous. He believes the huge concentration of condoms, not reported
before, is more resilient than other "aggregating" ocean materials, and
may have been developing for decades. Froule said parts of the newly
discovered reef are matted together so densely that "you could almost land
a plane on it." "I suppose it would be funny if it didn't pose the hazard
it does to marine life and navigation," Froule stated. "I pity any
freighter, submarine, or dolphin, for that matter, that might run into
it."
The biologist said he and his Australian scientific colleagues will have
the reef mapped by satellite and monitored from now on to see if
it expands, breaks up, or drifts from its current location (reported at
63 degrees latitude and 154 degrees longitude). Froule said there would
not be much point in trying to break up the pulpy mass with explosives or
other devices. "It seems pretty indestructible," he said.
The world's industrialized nations are estimated to consume and dispose of
nearly 300 million condoms a year. Industry analysts say about a third of
the discards become waterborne.
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Sandgroper
lara_s...@hotmail.com wrote in article
<71atmh$ht4$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
> Condom Reef Discovered
> Sydney, Australia, 1996
>
> Oceanographic scientists say they have discovered a vast, floating
"reef"
> of the world's disposed condoms in the middle of the South Pacific,
about
> halfway between Tahiti and Antarctica. The phenomenal mass is almost two
> miles long, an eighth of a mile wide, and in places up to 60 feet deep,
> the oceanographers say.
>
> Mason Froule, Australian marine biologist at his country's Oceanographic
> Laboratory Outpost on Macquarie Island, South Pacific, said the bizarre
> accumulation is explained by a scientific term called "like
aggregation"--
> that is, the massing of similar objects over short or longer periods of
> time due to wind or ocean currents, magnetic fields, buoyancy and
> other conditions.
Found this article in aus.jokes , it could explain the reason why this
"reef" formed , given the marketing power of Bill Gate$.
Sandgroper
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Microsoft Market Penetration
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
INTRODUCING CONTRACEPTIVE98 ! ! !
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every
aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a
suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft
has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It
believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in
penetrating the copulation enhancement market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for
virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the
non-propagation of life.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98,
DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton
Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the
package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.
Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client / Server edition, for
professionals in the sexual services sector.
Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups,
aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches.
While Contraceptive98 does not address non-traditional copulatory
channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. They will be
known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.
OPERATION
Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the
package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum
hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and
is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After
installation, operation commences. One caution is that the user must
have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is
complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message,
"It is now safe to turn off your partner."
DRAWBACKS
Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern
during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious
error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these
have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its
used.
CONCLUSION
Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is a
reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to
its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software,
that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore,
Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard Camera (Peepy Cam).
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive98's
potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will help our
customers do to each other what we've been doing to them for years."
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-)