Do you ever get tired of your job?
M r F u n n y B o n e I n t e r n a t i o n a l
Sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in
Singapore" award.
Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, has
set up abank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve
species. The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr.
Binatang's, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the
morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they
wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm.
Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and
tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from
Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked
nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the
perfect place to work.
"I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every
morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects
to be kissed first.
"As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most
famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head and
sporting a huge erection.
Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the
enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2
minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr. Binatang
emerged again.
Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the
grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh
set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..."
Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous
fluid.
"Isn't it dangerous?" we asked. Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.
"They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed,
faraway look in his eyes. Worked his way round the zoo, finished his
rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon.
Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and
the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said,
removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear sp*nk.
"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is
the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have
to use both my arms to tug on it."
"As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help
it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep
floating through my mind." How long will he stay difficult to know,
but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to
continue.
"It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming
over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't
be bothered to engage in real sex."
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