More perverted nursery rhymes
This girl is mine! Yours? Who? Are? You? STOP!!!
--
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill, the dill,
Forgot the pill
And now they've got a daughter
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses
And all the king's men
Said "Fuck him, he's only an egg!"
Litte Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
So she said "Fuck off, hairy legs!"
Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And knocked its fucking head off
-------
|) /_ \_ My opinions may not be yours,
| aul \/unther / but at least I can express them.
-------
For a faster e-mail response, use pgun...@pacstar.com.au
-------
Langas
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
And said "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his fucking dick!
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children,
Her uterus fell out!
Little boy blew: he needed the money!
--
langas
lan...@wr.com.au
"Moments such as this should be...savoured!"
Bernie Maier
<gunt...@topaz.cqu.edu.au> wrote:
>Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
>Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
>All the king's horses
>And all the king's men
>Said "Fuck him, he's only an egg!"
I like this variant:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses
And all the king's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast
--
Bernie Maier The Internet: not so much the Information
Home: bl...@wr.com.au Superhighway as a large, multi-storied,
Work: bl...@ot.com.au over-crowded, Information Parking Lot.
Diana Kevilovska
lan...@wr.com.au (Langas) writes:
>Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
>Eating her curds and whey
>Along came a spider and sat down beside her
>And said "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"
>Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
>Jack burnt off his fucking dick!
>There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
>She had so many children,
>Her uterus fell out!
>Little boy blew: he needed the money!
Ahhhh...those Andrew Dice Clay tapes really do the rounds eh?
:))))
cheers big ears..
Tim Fountain
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know where to find them,
Leave them alone,
And they'll come home,
With som Kiwis close behind them.
Roger Altena
In article <31E5DA...@lawson.its.utas.edu.au>,
I can't remember these exactly, but here's two more:
Mary had a little lamb
It walked into some soot
And everywhere that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put.
It sounds better than it reads!
How about:
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to the heater
But when it tried to turn around
It burnt its little seater!
Enjoy!
Roger.
--
Name: Roger Altena
Address: ro...@mincom.com
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
jedobber
On Jul 12, 1996 07:31:25 in article <Re: More perverted nursery rhymes>,
'ro...@mincom.com (Roger Altena)' wrote:
>Mary had a little lamb
>She tied it to the heater
>But when it tried to turn around
>It burnt its little seater!
--
And Piglet asked Pooh, "What's the first thing you think about in the
morning?" Pooh said, "What's for breakfast." Piglet said, "I think about
all the exciting things that will happen today." Pooh replied, "It's the
same thing, Piglet."
dylan
In <4s5j7i$9...@news2.h1.usa.pipeline.com>, jedo...@usa.pipeline.com(jedobber) writes:
>Mary had a little lamb
>
>And the doctor was mighty surprised.
How about:
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were astounded,
And everywhere that Mary went,
Gynaecologists surrounded.
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were surprised,
But when Old MacDonald had a farm,
They couldn't believe their eyes!
--
Dylan Smith, 1810 Space Park Drive, Houston, TX 77058
Internet: dy...@vnet.ibm.com
jim cook
gunt...@topaz.cqu.edu.au (This girl is mine! Yours? Who? Are? You?
STOP!!!) wrote:
>--
>Jack and Jill
>Went up the hill
>To fetch a pail of water
>Jill, the dill,
>Forgot the pill
>And now they've got a daughter
>Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
>Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
>All the king's horses
>And all the king's men
>Said "Fuck him, he's only an egg!"
>Litte Miss Muffet
>Sat on a tuffet
>Eating her curds and whey
>Along came a spider
>And sat down beside her
>So she said "Fuck off, hairy legs!"
>Hickory Dickory Dock
>The mouse ran up the clock
>The clock struck one
>And knocked its fucking head off
>-------
>|) /_ \_ My opinions may not be yours,
>| aul \/unther / but at least I can express them.
>-------
>For a faster e-mail response, use pgun...@pacstar.com.au
>-------
My God Man,
This is the babbling of an idiot.
What the hell is wrong with you ??
Ray and Trudy
Roger Altena wrote:
>
> In article <31E5DA...@lawson.its.utas.edu.au>,
> Tim Fountain <tfou...@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote:
> >Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
> >And doesn't know where to find them,
> >Leave them alone,
> >And they'll come home,
> >With som Kiwis close behind them.
>
> I can't remember these exactly, but here's two more:
>
> And everywhere that Mary went
> Its sooty foot he put.
>
> It sounds better than it reads!
>
>
> She tied it to the heater
> But when it tried to turn around
> It burnt its little seater!
>
Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to the garden fence
and kicked it's little %$#@ in
Roger Altena
Here's another rhyme I like:
I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life.
It makes them taste quite funny,
But it keeps them on the knife!
In article <4s4v0d$8...@cygnus.mincom.oz.au>, I wrote:
>Mary had a little lamb
>It walked into some soot
>And everywhere that Mary went
>Its sooty foot he put.
Now I think about it, I think the second line was "It had a sooty foot" or
something similar. I think. Maybe.
Roger Thomas
In article <4sccs4$r...@cygnus.mincom.oz.au>,
ro...@mincom.com (Roger Altena) writes:
>>Mary had a little lamb
>>It walked into some soot
>>And everywhere that Mary went
>>Its sooty foot he put.
>
> Now I think about it, I think the second line was "It had a sooty foot" or
> something similar. I think. Maybe.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And into Mary's bread and jam
His sootyfootyput
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as charcoal
It stepped in Mary's bread and jam;
She kicked it up the arsehole
Paul Crosland
Little boy blue, come blow your horn,
the sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn
Where is the boy that looks after the sheep?
he's under the haystack with little Bo Peep!
Regards..... -----------------------------------------+
| Paul Crosland cros...@acslink.net.au |
| Brisbane Australia |
+----------------------------------------------------------+
Tony Payne
>I eat my peas with honey,
>I've done it all my life.
>It makes them taste quite funny,
>But it keeps them on the knife!
>In article <4s4v0d$8...@cygnus.mincom.oz.au>, I wrote:
>>Mary had a little lamb
>>It walked into some soot
>>And everywhere that Mary went
>>Its sooty foot he put.
>Now I think about it, I think the second line was "It had a sooty foot" or
>something similar. I think. Maybe.
It's fleece was black as soot.
TWP
MichaelB
This one is actually:
Mary had a little lamb
Its feet were black as soot
And into Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot he put!
Cheers
Claire McQuarrie (sadiablo)
This is a perverted rhyme unlike you're lame ones.
There was a younge man called Steen who invented the Wanking Machine.
On the 99th stroke the bloody thing Broke and Whipped his Balls into Cream.